I've lost 3 inches off my chest, 2 off my waist and 3 off my hips since March. I stopped weighing myself when I got extremely depressed like a month ago. Idk what happened there but it's been constantly flashbacks and feeling su*cidal. It's been a bit better this past week. Idk what I've been eating either. Sometimes I have fruit or Hummus and Pita bread, and I was eating pickles and cheese for a while. I've been in a trance. Idk. I've been walking a ton at the beach in the heat. 5km yesterday.

A few days ago I had a large bubble tea and a whole garlic bread from Domino's to myself!! So I think there was about 1200 calories in there. For the two days after that I had plantain chips and candies which was about 200 cals each day. Then yesterday I had nothing. Today I am going to have fruit and grilled cheese. I feel good about the calories in that I guess. The issue is when I eat junk like candy and chips I get low caps but no energy then I feel tired and angry :( so hopefully the fruit today will change that.

I ended up eating 5 Fiber bars/squares today. 90 cal each so 450 cal total. The protein bars are so expensive so I moved over to the regular nutritional bar section and found these. The Cinnamon bun ones are delicious and they're so tiny. And so chewy. And kept me full for 9 hrs so far. So I saved the fruit for tomorrow and I feel good with 450 cals. It's enough that I don't lose my ability to focus on work. But I still lose weight

I did so bad today 💔 I got a bunch of free fast food :( two burgers and two fries. I could have given it to someone but I kept it :( I had one burger and one poutine! I love poutine it's my weakness!! I checked the website and the poutine was 650 cals and the burger was 550-730. So I'm going with 730. That's 1380. Omg. I could have been generous and eaten healthy food at home but I am selfish and lack self control :(

Today I had 5 eggs. Hard boiled with lime and salt and pepper. So about 400 calories. I'm happier with that than 400 calories of something high in sugar. And I tell myself that 400 calories is fine and healthy if it's something nourishing.

I had some chocolates today so I'm not having my usual one meal. 420 calories of chocolates. Yesterday I had 300 cal of eggs and 250 cal of bacon. I should get a more healthy meat but I'm on a budget. Also I eat real meat like twice a year. I have a phobia of meat which is unfortunate for me because I like it a lot. Umm besides that it did snow last night. And I did have a lot of fun driving around in that and drifting around in the normal parking lots at 3am. There was no one there except the couple usual people I see. Tonight it didn't snow but a cop drove up to me and asked what I was doing. I said I'm just watching videos. He said 'alright' and left. This happened in October too, I was hanging out in my car in the same spot. Looking at dresses online. But that time they blocked me in and put their lights on 😭 and two officers got out to ask what I'm doing so late in a parking lot. They told me to take my plate covers off and they left. I don't like to be at home so I spend lots of time in random places. Usually beach in the summer but I would just sleep there in the sand or in my car. Anyway this is so long lmao I need to get a diary.