#mybattles

What it means to be successful may vary drastically between individuals:  It may be quantified monetarily.  It may include making it to a specific race.  Finishing that race.  Winning that race.  Success may be reflected on a report card, by a diploma, a sales goal, a purchase, or recognition for a job well done.  There is no right or wrong answer about what success is.

Regardless of what overall success means to you, success is the result of hundreds of decisions: Staying an extra hour, getting up early, going to bed late, running that extra mile, getting that second workout in, making one more call to one more customer, sacrificing happy hour or dinner with friends to study or focus on improving your website to improve your new business.  Hell, it may mean taking a huge swing, missing, falling on your face, and getting up off the ground, dusting yourself off, learning from your mistake, and doing it all over again.

It requires repetition.  Many times, we’re doing the same things over and over again to grow and improve merely millimeters each day, focusing on the total sum of our efforts.  Often, our progress cannot even be measured on a day to day basis, requiring faith that what we are doing, while not seeing noticeable change today, will yield the results that we are seeking.

Success is up to YOU. You can’t be upset at other people because you didn’t achieve the success you seek because you didn’t do everything within your power to get to where you so coveted.  The only option is an all-in, “burn the boats” mentality, giving yourself no option for return.  

What someone is focused on is easy to figure out - while I don’t believe in a bullshit law that says “you will attract what you think most about”, it’s easy to see why someone isn’t getting the results they claim to want (for the work they are not doing).  When they aren’t working are they watching TV?  Dicking off on social media or playing a game?  Watching stupid videos?  Or are they actually promoting growth:  Watching motivational material, learning about their craft or planning their next move to get them to where they want to be?

Thoughts and words simply aren’t enough:  Success requires so much more.  While taking action is the first step, massive action is the only action that will give you traction and momentum.  

There will be friction - friends and family will often be obstacles, subconsciously or unintentionally with advice about “taking it easy” and to be realistic.  Smile, and keep going.  

In my case, my family is my WHY.  They’re the reason why I am up at 3am on a Saturday to get my run in so that I can be at the office before the sun is up and the reason that I’ll be here tonight at 8pm while most people are having a Saturday night cocktail or dinner with friends.  My workouts are vital to my well-being, physical and mental health.  I can’t afford to miss my training, but I also can’t afford to neglect what is most important - so I sacrifice sleep to make sure I get to see my family but also get my work done.

Prioritize:  whatever is most important to you is evident by your actions.  Take inventory of your time and see what actions you are actually taking, not what you’re just thinking about.  If it’s going out for drinks or watching TV, be honest with yourself - and fix it.

Being sad is ok. You don’t need to medicate.

Get sore from a workout.

Stop living for the weekend. Live in the moment. Even on a Monday.

Put down your phone in a restaurant.

Share your goals with someone who will support you and someone who will doubt you. Use both for fuel.

Plan to do something that is absolutely insane in less than a year. Something you will have to work tirelessly to accomplish.

Don’t set out to inspire others. Let your work and actions speak louder than your words or social media post.

Write two obituaries. One for IF you died today and one for if you die in 10 years - aside from your age, what would be different?

Turn off the news.

Fast.

Be happy alone.

Be happy with friends.

Let go of the past.

Exercise.

Do something hard every day.

Watch a child play.

Sit on a patio in silence.

Read a book a month. Then read a book a week.

Call someone that makes you laugh.

You are stronger than you know.

Write your life resume.

Go meat free.

Understand another point of view.

Go one day without saying anything negative.

Do something for someone that could never repay you.

Walk 10,000 steps in one day. Then 20,000. Then 30,000.

Remember that through it all, you are still here and everything you have survived has made you stronger.

Run as fast as you can as far as you can. Then do it again. And again.

When everything is going your way, you feel as if you are impervious to losing motivation. But you can Goddamn bet that no matter how high you are flying, life will kick you in the face: financial problems, sickness, divorce, issues with your kids, losing a job, natural disaster are all very fucking real and can happen to anyone.

Your choices are pretty simple: Hide behind the shit that you are going through or double down, work harder, and keep that shit in perspective. The objective of training isn’t to help you handle the good times, it is to make us stronger when shit goes south.

The long runs, rides, day long sessions in the pool - that shit is so much more about forming your iron mind than it is about physial improvement.

Most people are afraid to suffer - they avoid the pain of sacrifice and commitment that comes with training, and when shit gets real in their life, they don’t know how to handle it.

Regardless of what you see on social media, life isn’t easy. It isn’t all about luxurious vacations, gorgeous homes, and elaborate dinners. Much more time is spent being relatively uneventful or downright sucking than any of us fucking care to acknowledge.

No matter whatever the hell or suffering you may be going through, just keep moving forward through the test and you will come out on the other side as hard and as sharp as an iron spear.

People that knew me in my mid 30s automatically assume it was a lot of muscle memory. But that guy never ran, had never been on a bicycle and couldn’t swim 25 yards.

If muscle memory even exists, mine had Alzheimer’s. I was as low physically (and to an extent, mentally and emotionally) as a person can be.

My point? You are never too far gone - but getting a little motivation here and there won’t be enough.

Discomfort is required. When you get that low, you are already suffering, so why not flip the script and be rewarded for pain instead of being a perpetual victim?

Ten days out.  Not sure how I made it to this point, but just yesterday, it seemed as if it were six months away.  

Of course, the closer race day comes, the more that life wants to throw at me.  My wife having another surgery that will keep her off of her feet through the Ironman race, leaving me to drive my son to school (30 minutes away), pick him up, prepare all of our food, keep this house somewhat clean, tend to my crazy animals, train (yeah, still necessary), get ready to leave for Tempe in a few days and all that goes into that, oh, and work a full-time job.  Anything else?  Yeah, the dryer went out just as I had a ton of laundry to finish before my trip.  

I suppose it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and under prepared for an ultra-endurance race.  Did I do enough?  Am I strong enough?  What if it rains?  What if it’s cold?  Super hot?  What if I get sick?  What if, what if, what if?

I’m tired.  I’m worn down from life in general and that is multiplied by the burden of getting ready to travel.  But you know what I’ve realized?

That is the fucking price of it all.

If it were easy, everyone would do it.  I’m not a pro athlete that has a staff and unlimited budget to dedicate to training.  I’m the opposite - I have a family: a wife that can’t walk right now, a one year old, and a 15 year old that wrestles in high school, and a very time-demanding career.  

I guarantee that if I looked hard enough, I could find 50 excuses of why I shouldn’t or couldn’t do this.  When you’re going far beyond what you’ve ever done, the universe is going to fuck with you - it’s going to throw shit at you just to see what you’re made of.

Fuck Murphy and his bullshit law.  I’ll knock that motherfucker straight out if he comes to my door.

I was definitely starting to crack - the enormity of all I had to do between yesterday and Sunday was more than overwhelming.  But what was I going to do?  Quit?  Throw in the towel?  Live with the knowledge that I pussied out on the greatest journey I have ever been on?

After all the shit I’ve been through in MY life I was going to let this shit crack ME?  I’ve survived war.  An abusive, drug dealing, drug addicted father.  My own addiction struggles with alcohol.  I’ve lost everything and got it back just to lose it again.  You ever had your car repossessed from your in-law’s driveway and your phone turned off a day later two days before you start a new job?  That shit will humble you really quick.

And not matter how many times I’ve gotten knocked down, I keep getting up and attacking whatever is in front of me even harder.  My son is new to wrestling and while he’s learning to better his technique, I have preached to him to just keep attacking your opponent - regardless of who has the superior talent, nobody wants to fuck with the person that doesn’t care if they’re outmatched...  You don’t want to stand in front of the person that doesn’t know that they should quit.

He shares that with me.  I never know that I should just tap out, throw in the towel, and call it a day.  Nah, the person that would’ve done that died a long time ago, and this guy here is a motherfucker - he’ll fight and claw through anything.  You may get me, but I’ll tear your eyeball out with a fucking twig on the way down.

The callouses on my mind are the result of continuously putting myself into the crucible of life - pushing against pain over and over until I finally become one of the hardest fucking people that you’ll ever meet.  

That’s what separates me - that’s what makes me different.  I’m not faster, stronger, smarter, or better.  I’m just too stupid to quit, and you can’t do anything with a person that doesn’t know when to give up.

After all I’ve been through, Ironman is just a fucking race.  It’s a long race, but I’ve been in a race for nearly 44 years, and have while I’ve been laid the fuck out flat on the ground, I’ve always gotten back up - crawled, walk, and then ran through whatever wall happened to be there.  And that’s what I will do in ten days.  That’s what I’ll do every day of my life if that is what it takes.  No pain is too much pain to stop me - pain don’t hurt...

We all know people that things seem to come easy to/for:  The runner that can run five miles while barely breathing hard.  The salesperson that puts in the least effort but has the best results.  The student that gets straight As while never cracking a book.  The examples are endless.

Unfortunately, this is often poison for most people, as their own sense of entitlement makes them believe that they should be rewarded the same fruits while exerting the same perceived effort.

There are two things to consider in these situations:

1) You’re only seeing the end result of a lot of blood, sweat and tears.  While most people don’t want to face that this is the truth, this covers the majority of those examples.

2) Some things simply are easy to some people, and that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

These two facts are not mutually exclusive.  For example, LeBron James would’ve probably gone down as one of the greatest basketball players to ever pick up a basketball if he would’ve only put in the same effort as everyone of his teammates that he has ever had.  In LeBron’s case, he also outworks everyone else that he plays with and against.  Like him or hate him (I tend to lean toward the latter), you cannot question neither his natural ability nor his work ethic.

Nonetheless, feeling sorry for yourself when an important task is challenging for you (yet seemingly simple for someone else) is a way to ensure that you’ll never have success in whatever goal you are looking to achieve.  Let’s face it:  We cannot control the things that we are naturally really good at.  We don’t get to pick our parents and the environment of which we are raised in.

What we do have the opportunity to choose is how much effort we put into something.  I know, I know - this just kills the motivation of those that are looking for a secret shortcut to success or an easier way to become great.

Want a secret?  Here.  It doesn’t fucking exist.  

There’s no abs in eight minutes.  

40 hours per week?  Minimum fucking standard.  Showing up when you absolutely have to will ensure that you barely get by.

Running sucks and is hard?  Of course this is true when you don’t fucking do it.

I haven’t mentioned it in a bit but all I (still) hear is time.  I don’t have time.  How do you “find” time?  I wish I had your schedule.

No, you fucking do not.  

How do I find time?  I don’t look for time, I make time.  I don’t stare endlessly at my phone.  I don’t engage in idle chatter.  I rarely, if ever, watch TV.  I schedule my workouts like I’d schedule a day in court, a funeral, my kids’ graduation or weddings.  I minimize social time to the absolute essential.  I do not “go out”.  I listen to books in the car or make important phone calls, not calls to BS.

I prepare.  I have my food ready to go.  My workout clothes are laid out.  Shoes are ready to slip in and go.  Coffee is in the maker BEFORE we go to bed.

30-60 minute workouts?  Fuck that - I put down over 15 hours per week, every week.  

Want to be the top at your job?  First in, last out, every day.  Period.  And when you are there, work like your life depends on it.  The 40 hour work week is designed to keep you poor and just motivated enough to show up and do enough so that you keep your job.  That felt miserable to type - I can only imagine how miserable it is to live.

Study.  We are eternal students.  Our brains are wired to adapt and constantly learn, so be ahead of the game.  You can find information on anything in the world that could make you a better athlete, spouse, parent, business owner, entrepreneur, salesperson, etc.  

Hint: That shit isn’t on Facebook, Twitter, or IG.  And it isn’t comedy.

In a world of mediocrity, it isn’t hard to stand out; to do a bit more and to inspire others to do more simply by your actions.  

It requires discipline - eating better, training longer, training harder, waking up early, staying up late, picking up those books when you could be watching the game - it’s not what others do.

But if you want to accomplish what others can’t, you have to be ready to do the things that others don’t and won’t do.

Talking about it is NOT enough.  Whatever your goal is, figure out whatever action YOU think you need and then multiply those actions by 10, and that is the effort required.