#my flag

[Pt: My Femme + My Butch + My Futch end pt]

Instead of Partner/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Etc.

A flag for those who use "my femme / my butch / my futch" in place of/as an alternative to partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. this may or may not be exclusively.

(NOT the same as simply femme + butch + futch!!! The possessive nature of the phrasing of this is vital to the term!)

Template by @rwuffles

Anyone may use my terms; I will not police your usage.

Alternative to Partner Term Taglist (DM OR SEND AN ASK TO BE ADDED OR REMOVED!) :

flag i personally made around 2025, but only chose to post now. see why below!

PRELUDE:

there's been talks of a new asexual community flag, as a result of different reasons, one of biggest being that more and more people discovered that oh crap, the white stripe in the original flag, while originally didn't come with any specific meaning, historically over the years got the meaning of... "allosexuals".

gay flag doesn't have a stripe for heterosexual people.

to demand one would be a bit weird, but asexual community just let it be for a while, until eventually a new flag, by Ashabi (Ace In Grace), was born and gained some popularity.

the new flag has a lot of great stuff in it and is made by an asexual actvist! i notably love a lot about the meanings.

it did make some people, including me, a little uncomfy though.

SOME REASONS WHY THIS ABOVE NEW FLAG DOESN'T ALIGN WITH ME AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE:

i haven't been following the situation TOO closely, so i'm just gonna say the quick reasons that came into my personal mind:

white, black, yellow and purple is already used by nonbinary flag, so this flag is inherently less unique and recognizeable

pink stands for love, which is great, except when you're a loveless aro (an aromantic person who does not personally like word or concept of "love" for their own feelings) cause then you may feel EXTREMELY EXCLUDED AND UNCOMFORTABLE BY THE FLAG; the note about "self-love" was unfortunately only added by AceInGrace later as a reply to the concerns that people had, and the bitter feeling still prevents me from feeling included properly

the bright yellow in middle of the flag causes me quite heavy eyestrain with my processing disorder. uh oh! dandelion yellow is supposed to stand for intersectionality, by the way, which kinda rubs the salt in the would. physically disabled queers aren't often remembered about

the flags changing, especially so drastically, always gonna make some people defensive and guilty like the old flag is bad and they're bad if they use it ; but it's a problem that exists always with any flag change and isn't limited to this situation

MY PROPOSED "OFF-WHITE FLAG"

WHICH I DON'T THINK WILL BECOME POPULAR OR PROPERLY REPLACE THE OTHER TWO,

but i wanna share it simply out of my care for the aspec community and the occasion of this pride month:

vague words are chosen as a way to see yourself in the flag no matter what.

if i were to elaborate on some ideas for what i personally imagine behind the words, here you go:

IDENTITY: spectrum of identities; absolutely different reasons why people identify as asexual all being valid; and all the experience that comes with such an identity

DIVERSITY: the fact that all asexual people are different, not only in specific experiences relating to their sexual orientation, but in other things like race, dis/ability, origin, interests, gender, and such SOLIDARITY: solidarity with all kinds of people across the asexual spectrum, standing hand in hand, working together and respecting each-other; potentially solidarity with the aro community and such

COMMUNITY: the asexual community, the word, the flags, the activism being done here and today and our care for each other; and the need for it to always improve and be better, as well

but seriously, i really recommend just focusing on the words and what they mean to you.

the colours are picked to be slightly less eyestrainy (albeit eyestrain is relative and one flag that's good for someone might be bad for someone else); similar to the original ace flag; recognizeable; and CMYK friendly, so if you'll wanna print it on a paper or it might end up being a fabric flag, it will look good and similar to the screen. purple is FAMOUSLY hard to use with CMYK , that's genuniely the only reason why the purple is more pink in my flag.

EXTRA MATERIALS WITH THIS FLAG:

feel free to use my flag any way you want or modify it. i use the "off-white ace flag" name for it to differentiate it from all other flags and to remind why specifically i created this flag in the first place, you can use whatever flag you want.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME AS A PERSON:

if it matters:

i am a disabled gay polyamourous aro/ace nonbinary activist. "asexual" is my primary identity (as in the identity i focus on the most right now since it affects me the most).

i love activism and i study and value queer topic a lot. due to my disability, my activism is usually very hidden behind the scenes. i was a part of pronouns.page team ; i gently help out in my local IRL queer scene events ; i educate people privately ; and i often offer emotional support to fellow queers in online spaces.

if there's anything else you'd wanna know, i am an illustrator/designer and a writer!

i have written an essay on intersection between homophobia and acephobia (mostly oriented at allo/non-gay audience, though, since i work heavily with educating allies)

and i also am an illustrator and author of a queer webcomic that focuses on a slowly growing friendship between four very different queer people.

outside of that, i do not post on any social platforms very often, so you can go through my entire tumblr profile in a matter of minutes and decide whether you'd be comfy with using a flag made by me.

you don't need to be anyone special to make a flag though. anyone saying otherwise is lying. if you're a part of the community, then you matter and your flags matter, that's it.

ENDING THOUGHTS:

my flag is not an attempt to replace the old flag or the 2026 flag. you can use whatever flag you like the most.

my flag is simply me sharing my thoughts, my love for designing flags and the care for my own community in an attempt to make a flag that makes ME PERSONALLY feel more happy and seen than the existing ones; and maybe it makes one or two people smile today when they'll see it, as well.

also, the work that Ashabi (AceInGrace) has been doing is important, because even if you don't like the new flag altogether, it does bring awareness to the issue that our most popular flag has; and Ashabi has to go through a lot of racism and harassment all this time to talk about this issue as well, so don't be a dick to them.

any discourse, heated debates, or similar stuff under this post is going to be deleted, because aspec people, me included, deserve to have a calm pride month. if you want to start a discussion under the comments, either do it very carefully, or take it somewhere else entirely.

Kawaiisquidic

A gender to describe people who feels conected to kawaii culture: such as jojifuku, fairy kei or even more colorfull subcultures like decora kei, tweencore (tweencore is not an subculture) and the connection to squids

Child-Figure ~

[PT: Child-Figure ~ , end PT.]

An alter within a system who's role is to be a child to someone else in the system, or someone outside of it. Whether or not this relationship is considered adoptive or biological is up to the user. Design is based on the little flag.

Already coined? Consider an alt flag.

I consent to my flags being uploaded to wikis so long as I am credited.

Solum Bi: A bi person who primarily refers to themselves as bi ~rather~ than queer umbrella terms! A solum bi prefers to be called bi instead of queer, or called bi first and foremost! A solum bi still may refer to queer, sapphic, achillean, etc. but!! those are secondary to bi :) Derived from solum meaning only! Bc only bi is good enough

Example: Yes, I am a dyke, but I’m a BI DYKE first and foremost! Yes, I am queer, but I’m a BI QUEER first and foremost! Yes, I’m a sapphic, but I’m a BI SAPPHIC first and foremost!

This flag and term is to try to uplift bisexuals who say that they are bi but just call themselves queer or sapphic instead, to try to defer biphobia. Remember that bisexuality is enough, that we never need to mostly call ourselves queer or sapphic or whatnot instead 🩷💜💙 ONLY if we wish to for a secondary description to complement our bisexuality

Red: the severe pain and other symptoms of endometriosis

Orange: common commorbidities and issues endometriosis can cause

Yellow: endometriosis awareness color

White: community and solidarity with everyone who suffers with endometriosis