Homecoming | Multiple responsibilities | Failed rescue 

CW: mention of past non-con and torture; emotional whump, exhaustion, compulsion

Future Kai and Kyriel snippet that really really wanted to be a spoiler but I think I managed to edit it enough that it isn’t really?! I hope??

They did find him in the end. On a mission to Hellenia’s north, his wings strong on his back, the collar tight around his neck.

“Sir,” the head of the party told him, all scruffy beard, muddy armour and tired eyes. “We are here to rescue you.”

Kai had to exercise all of his self control not to laugh, at that.

Kyriel had told him the human Princes had sent rescue parties. Had told him they hadn’t given up on him, at least in the first months of captivity - for how could have they, when they so desperately needed him, and their own crowns would soon be lost without Kai’s blood holding the line? But it had been a distant concept for the boy, screaming on his back and front and hanging from the ceiling during those infinite hours he’d spent in the dungeon underground, fucked and tortured out of his mind. Had seemed a dream, something the angel would use to taunt him - they are looking for you and they won’t get you, I’ll kill them all before they do - rather than something concrete.

“That’s commander Simmons, isn’t it?” Kai asked, oh so politely, wind pushing against his black scaled armour as he tucked his wings in - for he’d always made a point to know the names of the men under his command, and he did recognise that scruffy face.

The soldier blinked, as one with the twenty poor fuckers who’d come with. Tired eyes, clothes smelling of weeks on the road - slowly and as inconspicuously as possible fanning around him in a circle, cutting Kai’s route out away. Glancing behind their back, at the sky, waiting for the shadow of dark wings to blacken the night - trying to lock him in, prevent him from running away.

Forgetting, clearly, how Kai was the biggest predator on that board.

“Yes sir, that’s right.” Commander Simmons cleared his throat, the sound dry. Seeming to hesitate, surely taking the boy in - his pale face, white hair braided and longer than they’d ever been, slender figure wrapped in an armour out of a dream and nightmare both, Kyriel’s crest bright on his chest - before lowering his sword an inch. As if it would do anything against Kai, against the roaring god at his fingertips. “Would you- would you step this way?”

Kai’s lips twitched upwards to the sides, the boy cocking slowly his head to his right.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Commander.” He said, oh so soft. Not moving an inch, not even bothering to put himself in a fight stance - the runes on his back muted, nothing hindering his magic that far out of the Tower. Even Kyriel’s commands having been crystal clear, leaving no rooms for misunderstandings - you are to defend yourself, keep yourself free and alive, and make sure you come back to me in one piece in a maximum of two weeks time - and giving him total freedom of manoeuvre.

Kai wasn’t going anywhere he didn’t want to this time around, no matter how those fools of the rescue party tried to herd him back.

“Sir-“

“I can’t leave again,” Kai interrupted, his tone an octave harsher this time - the men stopping to a flinching halt when he lifted his palm towards them. “I have to go back.”

They blinked, unsure, at that.

“Sir.” Commander Simmon’s voice was hesitant - and Kai wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not, but after a beat it sounded too soft, too gentle to his ear for him not to want to scream. The man stepping forwards with half his foot, the fool - “We have eyes in the Tower, sir. We know what happened, the conditions of your… Captivity. And if I may, we have seen many rescues out of the belly of the Tower. There is a network, and-“ The man swallowed, shaking his head. “What I am trying to say is that- You don’t have to go back, sir. You are away from the runes now. He can’t control you here.”

And Kai did laugh, really laughed, then. Hating himself for it, the sound loud and dark and bordering hysterical both.

Oh, the fools. Oh, the idiots.

The boy covered his face with a hand - years of exhaustion, years of screaming under Kyriel’s knife, seeming to crash on him in one go.

“Oh, Commander.” He sighed, low and oh, so tired. For they they were way too late, the brave fools. Months too late, years too late, for anything to be done about him being free off the angel’s control. The chain yanking him back running deeper than the runes on his back, than the months on conditioning and fear. “I am so sorry.”

They had the sense to freeze, like deers in the light, at that.

Kai’s eyes flashed silver, two mirrors of molten ore shimmering instead of his pupils and irises both. Power humming in between his wings, cracking through the air around them. “I am afraid you intelligence is grossly outdated, Commander,” he murmured, almost sweet. “For if you’d known the conditions of my captivity - you’d be aware of my conflicting responsibilities.”

Had they been Fallens, Kai would have found joy in their paling, their fear. Had they been the enemy he would have relished their terror and deference, the armour he shrouded himself under Kyriel’s roof to hold himself together when paraded in public.

Instead, Kai only felt faintly sick.

He’d learned to be the monster again, under Kyriel’s thumb.

“I suggest you retreat, Commander,” he murmured, way too soft for it to be anything but a threat - silver light faintly buzzing around his fingers, the top of his wings, his hair. “I’d hate to hurt you or your men.”

Kai had never been more glad than a failed escape rescue than that one, knowing he hadn’t caused more blood to be spilled than the rivers he was already responsible for.

Kai and Kyriel masterlist | Whumptember2023 Masterlist

So - uhm - I can’t tell you why Kai can’t run at the stage of the chaptered story right now?

I am sure you have read a bunch of other articles on how to reduce stress or have gotten advice from friends and family, however, it seems as if nothing works. Lucky you, I have the missing piece to the puzzle. The pro tip to reducing your stress and the overwhelming feeling you get from juggle multiple responsibilities is changing your perspective.

Now before you rolls your eyes or stop reading, let me explain. This is tip actually comes from a tip I got while I was practicing MMA. The number one thing that can make MMA workouts feel the worse or have a negative experience cutting weight for a competition is food and alcohol.

Naturally, everyone knows to eat healthy and avoid alcohol if you are competing in sports. So what makes you fall into temptation? Friends and family. My family and friends loves to drink and eat, so it is only nature that they invite me all the time to go out to drink or bring tasty food around me.

Having them around me all the time gave me the perspective of “It is ok to have a few drinks” or “one pizza is not going to hurt”. But we all know that a few drinks turns into a lot and one pizza turns into one box of pizza.

So what did I do? I started to hang out with my friends from the gym. Seeing how they ate or stuck to their routines gave me different perspective. If my friends were training this hard, it could only mean that my competition was doing the same.

So how does this apply to you? If you are going to school, working a job and internship, and have extra-curricular activities, you should hang out with people who are doing the same. If you hang out with friends who love to drink and watch television all day, you are only going to stress yourself out by comparing yourself to your friends.