Here's the big one, guys, the final recap of my project to watch the fan-voted top 100 episodes of the original run of Mystery Science Theater 3000 while knitting:

1. Manos: The Hands of Fate - (424)

2. Space Mutiny - (820)

3. Mitchell - (512)

4. The Final Sacrifice - (910)

5. Pod People - (303)

6. Puma Man - (903)

7. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians - (321)

8. Werewolf - (904)

9. Cave Dwellers - (301)

10. Time Chasers - (821)

Retrospective on Episodes 11-25

Retrospective on Episodes 26-50

Retrospective on Episodes 51-75

Retrospective on Episodes 76-90

Overall thoughts: The higher we've gotten in this list, the clearer it is that the difference between "really good episode of MST3K" and "one of the all time best episodes of MST3k" is highly subjective. (Virtually) Everyone agrees that, say, The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy is not a very good episode, but is Time Chasers actually one of their best, or just a very good one? How about Catalina Caper, or Eegah!, which were lower down on the list? All time favorite, or just really enjoyable? I agreed that half of the episodes in this top ten list belong in the top ten, but found the other half to be over-rated - not because they are bad or even mediocre episodes, but because I personally never saw what all the fuss was about them compared to other, equally good episodes. I suspect that most fans would have a similar reaction, but disagree about which are the fan favorites that live up to their hype and which do not. (I'm also coming to the realization that I should have argued for a higher rank for The Magic Sword in that write-up, because I've been using it as a private benchmark for testing episode quality - "Which one would I rather rewatch when I'm bored? This current episode, or The Magic Sword?" - and The Magic Sword has been winning most of the time.)

Overrated Episodes: I have never understood why people go so nuts over Final Sacrifice, and I didn't even know before encountering it on the list that people went nuts over Time Chasers and don't fully comprehend why. I totally understand why Werewolf, Mitchell, and Pod People top other people's lists, but I have other episodes that I like better that would knock them out of their spots. Though I am tempted to let Werewolf and Pod People duke it out with my other favorites for the final top 10 spot when I write up *my* top ten list. (If Pod People stays in the top ten, it should be a bottom-lister and not a top 5).

Underrated Episodes: Cave Dwellers is number 9? Number 9???? Two spots into the top ten list? The very best episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever made and it's only one above Time Chasers? What were the fan voters of 2016 thinking??? Even if you don't have my "favorite episode" bias, surely it belongs in that third spot just after Manos and Space Mutiny? Come on!

Must-sees for MSTies: Everything on the top ten list, if only so you can argue about it in time-honored fan tradition. For the sake of having something more than that to say, Manos is the most iconic episode of the show and is probably the first one you should watch as you move from total casual to dedicated fan; Cave Dwellers is my favorite and therefore the most fun; Mitchell is the most important to show history; and Space Mutiny is the "if you only watch one SciFi Channel episode, watch this one" episode.

Good on-boardings for new fans? Do NOT start your new fan with Manos. I know a lot of people do that and I have made that mistake before, but no! Do not do this! Let your new fan gain familiarity with some of the more palatable episodes before throwing them straight into the boiling water of Manos weirdness. I think Space Mutiny, Pod People, Pumaman, or Cave Dwellers are your best bets for new fans. Space Mutiny has the clearest and most digestible riffs; Pod People has the best sketches; and Pumaman and Cave Dwellers are just tons of fun overall. All four movies are right in that bad-enough-to-make-fun-of-but-still-fairly-watchable sweet spot. (Pod People is probably the least watchable of the films.)

Just over a year ago, I started this project of watching the fan-voted top-100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 while frantically knitting an afghan for my close friend's wedding. Fifteen months and ninety-nine episodes later, I'm watching the top-rated episode of all while knitting a new blanket for that same friend's baby shower. It must be the will of Manos! And now it's time for the final episode of this top 100 list. Do we all know what to do? That's right: You, put a handkerchief on your head! You, swat at imaginary elves! You, rock on the porch all night! Let's get this party started!

1. Episode 424 Manos: The Hands of Fate

Content Warning: The movie involves a cult that is attempting to take over people's minds to enforce servitude, particularly women for sexual slavery. One of the potential victims is a *very* young child who, if the cult is successful, will either be killed as being of no use or taken and raised by the cult to become a sexual slave as an adult. There is also some onscreen pawing at unconscious (or frozen in terror) people, and the death of a dog.

Summary: We start with a short, the second part of Hired!, the beginning of which we saw all the way back at number 79. during Bride of the Monster (a criminally underrated episode.) In Part 1, new hire Jimmy feels like he's spinning his wheels as a salesman for Chevrolet cars, while his frustrated manager complains to his own father that none of his new employees seem to know what they're doing. Here in Part 2, Dad passes on his folksy wisdom that no one knows how to do a job unless they've been trained, and reminds his son that when he was green, his own boss worked closely with him to show him how to do the job right. (Petition for weird porch-rocker dad to explain to all those five-years-of-experience-for-an-entry-level-position companies that everyone serves an apprenticeship for every job). The boss returns to the Chevrolet lot determined to help his sales people grow with hands-on guidance and management.

In the film proper - I don't know how to explain how weird this movie is. We have had incoherent films and surreal films and weird films and incompetent films, but this - somehow seems to become a more bizarre viewing experience the more times you watch it.

A family - a mature dad, his significantly younger wife, and their little daughter - drive through endless alfalfa fields to a completely inappropriate jazz soundtrack while looking for a place called Valley Lodge. Dad misses an opportunity to ask for directions from teens necking at a crossroads, but when he goes back, they've been chased away by the local cops. We will periodically cut back to what the teens and the cops are doing throughout the movie, although it never becomes relevant. (I think they're trying to tease the audience with the hope that the cops might figure out that something's wrong and come to the family's rescue, but the editing is so poor that everything just feels very random.) Dad finally stops for directions at a mysterious ranch house that wasn't there the first time they drove by, and the very odd caretaker Torgo (with an even more inappropriate theme) reluctantly allows the family to stay the night while making creepy comments about a "Master" and ogling the young wife. In the night, the family poodle runs outside and is killed by desert animals, Torgo creeps on the wife, the car refuses to start so they can't leave, and daughter Debbie discovers a secret room where the Master and several wives unconscious in ritual poses around an eternal flame. (That last one gets only about 20% of the reaction it should.) Now when I type it out like this, it seems obvious that the death of the dog is to establish that the desert is dangerous and explain why the family doesn't run into it the second they find the cult room, but I cannot stress enough how much the editing of this film is so odd that it makes it hard to put together cause and effect.

Eventually the Master wakes up and starts talking about a sacrifice to the god Manos, he wakes the wives and they begin fighting about whether to kill Debbie along with her father or convert her into the cult along with her mom, Torgo says that he wants the new lady for his wife and threatens rebellion when he is refused, the first wife repeats "your power fails you" a couple of times, and then everyone kind of wanders around aimlessly for a bit? Eventually, the Master uses his powers to kill Torgo and the first wife, and the family flees into the desert. When the wife tires, they try to trick the pursuing cult by doubling back to the house. The Master appears, is shot by the husband several times but is immune to the bullets, and we cut to a new group of vacationers arriving at the house where the dad is now the creepy caretaker and mom and Debbie are both among the wives.

MST3K lore or notable moments: The whole episode is iconic. This is their most famous one. But if I have to pull a few things, it's that Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank both sneakily apologize to the SoL crew for the badness of the movie, and this is the introduction of Torgo, one of the shows most iconic recurring guest characters, who appears at the end of the episode to deliver a suspiciously warm pizza to Deep 13. Honorable mention to Joel's Manos costume with the feet robe.

Did some swatching this time around during MST3Knitathon, my attempt to finish many knitting projects while watching the fan-voted top-100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse order from bottom to top. We're almost done with the list! And a baby shower has been announced for the end of August, which means that I really need to get knitting, so we should get on with the write up. But first! Important administrative detail: did you all sign Sherry's birthday card?

2. Episode 820 Space Mutiny

Content Warning: In one of the sketches, Crow comes out as a Bellerian and then questions his newly assumed identity in a way that can be read as an analogy for trans experiences. It's mostly fine until the end when Crow decides he is not a Bellerian after all and derides himself as a gullible moron whose identity changes on a whim, which if you extend the metaphor, is a nasty thing to say about questioning people. Your mileage may vary.

Summary: The Southern Sun is a generational colony ship, taking humans from an overpopulated world to a new planet multiple lifetimes' worth of space travel away that their descendants will be able to colonize, with multiple middle generations in between who will be born, live, and die on the ship. In an interesting and fairly unusual for this genre bit of world-building, the Southern Sun’s journey takes it through inhabited space, with multiple trading and travel vessels coming and going from the larger ship during its journey. In the 13th(!) generation to be born aboard ship, the head of the law "enforcers" decides that he's unwilling to be ship-bound for his entire life, and stages a mutiny to take over the Sun in order to deviate it from its course and take it to a nearby planet in pirate-controlled territory that he intends to colonize personally. Complicating his plans are the arrival aboard ship of a mysterious group of psychic priestesses called the Bellerians, who give vague warnings about the mutiny but don't actually do much, and fighter pilot Buck Plankchest, who narrowly escapes the sabotaged explosion in the docking bay that cuts the ship off from outside help and becomes the only non-mutineering-enforcer aboard with combat experience. The captain's botanist daughter Lea is initially hostile to Blast Hardcheese, whom she blames for the death of his passenger in the crash he survived, but as they begin to bond romantically and travel the ship together, they stumble across evidence of the mutineers’ conspiracy. Can Fridge Largemeat lead the largely pacifist colonists to victory against their entire law enforcement force while Captain Santa and First Officer Sting look on?

MST3K lore or notable moments: While coming up with new macho character names for the body-builder lead is a reused joke from earlier seasons of the show, it's most associated with this episode, where they call [actual character name Dave Ryder] 40 different things according to the list on the MST3K wiki, and it is one of their most memorable and meme-ified riffs. This is also the final episode of the Roman times arc, where Pearl promises not to send Mike and the bots any more bad movies if they help them escape. (A promise she does not keep, as we learn in Time Chasers.) Oh, and also, it's revealed that there were in fact three additional escape pods on the Satellite of Love this whole time until Crow, Tom, and GPC destroy them in a mock space-battle like the pirate fight in the movie. (It's fun that GPC got to fully participate in the boy bots' mischief - she's usually either doing her own thing, a reluctant participant, or the voice of reason)

Actually spent some time yarn-balling skeins and decluttering my craft area during last night's session of MST3Knitathon, my attempt to finish several knitting projects while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of the original run of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from bottom to top. We've almost reached the end! But tonight, Joe Don Baker IS Mittens! He's a cop.

3. Episode 512 Mitchell

Summary: Mitchell (1975) is often described as a Dirty Harry (1971) ripoff, which is not inaccurate, but my pet theory is that Mitchell is actually trying to be Dirty Harry meets Columbo (1968+) and that many of its oddnesses are caused by trying to rip off both detectives at the same time. Sometimes, Mitchell is a hard-drinking, fast-shooting, out-of-control cop who doesn't play by the rules; other times, he clashes with fellow officers by being too straight-laced, quietly but relentlessly pursuing the truth of a suspicious shooting that his higher-ups would rather went away, and contrasting his slightly unkempt and occasionally befuddled demeanor with his keen insight in interpreting the crime scene. Of course, when you replace Columbo's endearing - let's call it "avuncularity" - with Dirty Harry's violent machismo, the virtues of both (for whatever level of virtue Dirty Harry's one man crusade against crime can be said to possess) cancel each other out into a gross (as in repulsive, not intense) hypocrisy.

We begin in the Columbo-ripoff portion of the movie, where we-the-audience see a rich man shoot a fleeing burglar and then stage the crime scene to make it look like self-defense. Two uniformed cops appear on the scene, but the plain-clothes detective (our "hero" Mitchell) who was previously asleep in their backseat immediately begins questioning details of the story and insisting on interrogating witnesses right away instead of letting them go home, so we have a working-class-coded detective clashing with a wealthy suspect who clearly expects special treatment from the law. I wish the movie had stayed here, because investigating the murder of a burglar as a murder like any other is a laudable endeavor, and you could have had some interesting scenes of Mitchell clashing with other cops who feel that even if the victim was unarmed, the burglar had it coming. Instead, Mitchell is pulled off the case by his boss who tries to keep him busy with a solo 18-hour-a-day stakeout of a suspected drug-runner who is expecting a shipment of heroin. Initially, Mitchell uses his 6 hours of sleeping time to continue investigating the first murder off the clock, but when his boss tells him the suspect is already being investigated by the FBI for "everything," we move into the Dirty Harry ripoff as heroin-dude tries out several strategies for getting Mitchell off his case (during which, Mitchell shoots a fleeing rando just for having recognized him as a criminal, even though that's exactly what the first guy he was trying to put behind bars did.) Lots of poorly shot and overblown action scenes follow and eventually lead to the bad guys being extra-judiciously dead, just like the first victim (though MST3K cut the scene where murderer 1 dies for time, so that storyline is just kind of dropped halfway through the episode). The grossest part of the Dirty Harry ripoff section of the movie is the subplot where someone hires a high-end call girl to sleep with Mitchell as a kind of bribe, which he's more than happy to accept as long as he doesn't actually agree or intend to do any of the things they're trying to bribe him for. Later, she calls him out about accepting her purchased favors not being a particularly straight-laced thing to do, and basically dares him to prove that he's "clean" by booking her for marijuana possession. He does. (Before the war on drugs, this was apparently just a $500 fine, but still). At the end of the movie, she returns to him voluntarily because the sex (which I deeply wish that we didn't have to watch) was apparently just that good, and he "humorously" brings her in for marijuana possession again. (This is the part where we imagine Estelle Winwood appearing, turning into a panther, and eating him, as established in The Magic Sword.)

MST3K lore or notable moments: This is it. This is the big one. THE lore episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to beat all other lore episodes. Due to some behind-the-scenes tensions around the making of Mystery Science Theater: The Movie, series creator and original host Joel leaves the show. In the sketches, the Mads are being audited by a mad science organization (the same one Pearl later tries to get licensed by? I think the names are different, but it's tempting to assume so), so they've hired a temp by the name of Mike to help inventory all the evidence of their mad science that has built up in Deep 13. Temporarily left alone on the Satellite of Love's main set, GPC overhears Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank plotting to kill Mike at the conclusion of the experiment, but misunderstands them to be talking about Joel. After panicking through several segments, she enlists a sympathetic Mike's help to locate a hidden escape pod (in a box labeled "Hamdingers") in the SoL's manifest that Mike is supposed to be filing, and to use Frank's keys to transfer control of it to her. She uses the escape pod to eject Joel from the Satellite and he returns to Earth with a touching farewell, while the stymied Mads look to Mike as a replacement subject for their experiment. (At least they didn't kill him.) This plot gives us so much - Joel's farewell to the show he created, the introduction of Mike in character as himself, and a rare GPC-centric storyline!

What do I think about its place on the list? The first time I watched Mitchell was in high school, when my uncle brought it over as an episode he had taped. High school me hated the film so much I couldn't enjoy it even with the riff, even with Joel leaving. That was over 20 years ago (gosh I'm old), and I've refused to rewatch the episode ever since - until now. And - I didn't hate it! I actually enjoyed this episode a lot. The riff was really on point, all the sketches were fantastic, and the movie is giving them a whole lot to work with. How Mitchell treats Greta the expensive sex worker is still gross and unpleasant, but aside from that, I don't really have any complaints about the episode. (Incidentally, - I had a whole rant planned about how Mitchell not minding that someone hired a sex worker to entertain him to suddenly being really pissed off when it turns out to have been burglar-murder-guy instead of heroin-guy, but unfortunately during my commute this morning, I think I figured it out. Mitchell was okay with accepting Greta's services when he thought they were purchased by heroin-dude because he wasn't going to stop surveilling heroin-dude whether he slept with her or not - but spending his six-hours off from the stake-out with her was replacing the time he used to spend investigating the first murder (because Mitchell apparently doesn't sleep), and even though this coincided with his boss explaining that they weren't pursuing the murder because they wanted to leave the suspect for the FBI, knowing that he'd been doing what the rich guy who hired Greta wanted him to do made him feel dirty and complicit, and that's why he 180s on it. (And, of course, sours on Greta, because even though she had nothing to do with this, he's exactly the kind of guy who would take it out on her.) I hate to give this movie any credit, but that part does make sense.) I almost want to watch this episode again to see if it grows on me more now that I'm not bracing myself throughout, but I think I'll give it a break for a while first.

So how do I rank this episode now? It's so important to the lore; while the movie still has some irredeemable qualities, the riff made me laugh at several points; I loved watching GPC and Mike conspire to save Joel; and I actually enjoyed watching it this time around. Ultimately, I think it's still not in my personal top 10, which is a very subjective thing, but I don't think I can say anymore that this episode doesn't deserve a top 10 spot. It's well-remembered for a reason.

Finished embroidering the face on the little axolotl plushie and folded some laundry during this episode of MST3Knit-get-things-done-a-thon, where we either do some knitting or work on whatever else needs to be finished while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse order from bottom to top. Today, you know it's spring when the executioners get in the house

4. Episode 910 Final Sacrifice

Summary: A somewhat wimpy teenager goes through his late father's personal effects, hoping his papers will contain clues to his unsolved murder 7 years ago. He finds notes on an ancient civilization's culture and language, a mysterious old map, and an unfinished letter declaring his father's intention to send all these documents to a "partner," something he evidently never got the chance to do. When young Troy calls information looking for contact info for the letter's intended recipient, a mysterious cult realizes that he must have the papers, and thugs break into his house in an attempt to kill him and take the map. A fleeing Troy hides in the truck-bed of a drifter with the unlikely name of Zapp Rowsdower, who coincidentally is a former member of the very same cult, also on the run, whose membership tattoo seems to give its leader some form of psychic influence over him. The map leads Troy and Rowsdower to a grizzled archaeologist who speaks like Yosemite Sam and claims to be Troy's father's old partner. He explains that the two of them were researching a scientifically advanced ancient civilization that lived in what's now Canada before the ancestors of the First Nations people crossed the land bridge, and which was destroyed when the people got too wealthy and started worshiping an idol they hoped would protect their wealth instead of their own gods, who cursed their fields and caused their city to sink into the mud in retaliation. The map leads to the idol, and the cult chasing them are idol-worshipers descended from this civilization who believe that if they can find the idol again, they can make one "final" human sacrifice to it that will restore them to their former glory. But legend says that if the idol is destroyed instead, the city will rise up from the earth. But who will find the idol first, and can Troy really trust Rowsdower, who used to be a member of the cult himself?

MST3K lore or notable moments: Troy calls Rowsdower by name quite a lot, and "Rowsdower" said in a whiny voice is one of this show's most iconic call-backs. Because this movie was made in Canada, this is also a big "making fun of Canada" episode, with the infectious disease of "hockey hair" taking over the castle and ship (Mike, who already had hockey hair in his youth, is immune) and this Canada diss track that goes off the rails:

What do I think about its place on the list? I promise you that I'm not a hater and that I genuinely do like this show. That being said ... I've always found this episode to be over-rated too. There are things I like about it - it's overall a very funny riff (every time they added dialogue for the unspeaking masked cult thugs really got me), I enjoyed the hockey hair sketch, and there's something sweet about the movie, in its amatuerish nature and that neither male lead really fits the mold of stereotypical masculine hero. I also appreciate that while there were jokes implying that the not-very-manly Troy is possibly a young gay boy and that his instant emotional dependence on Rowsdower is somewhat crush-like, the riffers showed restraint in making fun of the man and boy relationship at the center of this movie and none of the jokes that I was paying enough attention to catch were anything I found upsetting. And the singing over the film's closing credits was fun! I did enjoy watching this episode again. That said, I only found about half of the Canada jokes funny. The ones that were mocking something specific I generally tended to be amused by; the ones that were just variants on, "Canada sucks," I found not so much offensive as just - boring. The ratio of obvious jokes to clever jokes was also a little high. Also I hate the Rosdower callback it is one of their laziest and I've never found it funny This one is not my fourth favorite episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Definitely a top 50, would not complain about a top 25 - but fun as it was, it's not making my top 10 list when I write it up at the conclusion of this project.

I want to say that we're over the hump of me denigrating beloved fan-favorite episodes, but unfortunately the next one on the list is Mitchell, and the one and only time I've seen that one before, I found the movie too unpleasant - even with the riff - to enjoy. It's been several years, so I might not feel the same anymore. But then again, I might.

If you disagree with me about Final Sacrifice, please tell me about it in the comments and reblogs! (Especially if you are Canadian - I would be interested to know if Canadians find all the Canada-bashing to be all in good fun or if it is bothersome.)

Welcome to MST3KCrochetathon, where I attempt to make an axolotl amigurumi to thank a friend for giving me her late aunt's huge stash of vintage acrylic yarn* while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from bottom to top. We've finally hit the top 5! Trumpy, you can do stupid things!

*which I am donating to the local elementary school's crochet club instead of using, which makes me feel unappreciative of the gift even though she said her aunt would like that, so she's getting a little plushie made with the yarn as a thank you

Content Warning: possible implied attempted rape when a poacher grabs at a young woman he finds wandering in the forest.

Summary: Famously, this was originally conceived as a standard alien horror movie and then forced by producer interference to become an E.T. ripoff to cash-in on Spielberg's success. The seams show.

In the plotline Joel and the bots famously dub movie A, three bird egg poachers are deep in the woods of the Pacific Northwest when a mysterious meteor - ship? - crashes nearby. The only one who saw the crash takes their truck to investigate and discovers a cave full of glowing red alien eggs, which he fearfully starts to smash. The alien mother kills him, leaving the other two poachers stranded in the forest without their truck. As they wander about trying to avoid the rangers, they also encounter the alien, whom they initially approach in a non-threatening manner and then try to capture. At this point, she begins to kill any human she encounters, assuming bad intentions.

In movie B, a teen rockstar, his manager, and his backup singers are taking a camping vacation in this very same forest, but their trip is complicated when they all learn that the rocker has invited one of his groupies along despite being in a relationship with one of the backup singers. When the groupie wanders into the forest alone to get away from the other girls' hostility, she takes a bad fall when she runs into the alien while fleeing from poachers, and the gang must figure out how to seek medical attention when an entirely unseen storm (they couldn't have afforded some thunder sound effects?) has washed out the only bridge and taken down the phone lines.

In movie C, a sensitive and animal loving boy named Tommy finds the alien cave and takes the last unsmashed egg home with him to raise as one of his many pets. He names the baby alien Trumpy and learns it has Mary Poppins like whimsical magical abilities. But when the adults react to the aliens with not unwarranted fear and hostility (mama alien has killed several random innocent people by this point), Tommy must abandon his friend in the woods to live apart from people forever alone.

The three plotlines occur in random order for the first half of the movie and don't all connect until the end, giving it a very disjointed feel.

MST3K lore and notable moments: This was one of the first real fan-favorite episodes and the first to start breaking containment among people who had only heard of and not seen the show (it would be de-throned the following season by the episode voted in at number one.) There are plenty of call backs, especially, "It stinks!" whenever music is recorded, and "Trumpy, you can do magic things!" during supernatural moments. It is also the source of three (3!) notable sketches:

(I'm sorry this one is clearest as a short)

During this episode, I managed to finally refold and put away everything from a Marie Kondo-ing of my T-shirts, that have been draped across my armchair for the past 2+ weeks. This is why she recommends laying everything out on the bed that you sleep in so that you have to put it away before bedtime. Welcome back to MST3Knitlaundryfoldathon, where we're watching the fan voted top-100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse order while doing whatever needs to be done. Everybody sing along! 🎶Pumaman, he flies like a moron!🎵

6. Episode 903 Pumaman

Summary: Centuries ago, ancient aliens visited the Aztec empire and were worshiped as gods, and left them with two symbols of protection for both the Aztec people and all humanity: a high-tech golden mask that can psychologically control people, and their own genetic material in the form of the Pumaman, a part-human son of the "gods" who inherited superhuman abilities from them and would pass these powers on to his own son, creating an unbroken line of protectors throughout the ages. Why didn't the Pumaman protect the Aztecs from colonization? ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄ In the modern day (1970s), the golden mask has been stolen from the Aztec temple and fallen into the hands of a bad guy played by veteran Bond villain Donald Pleasence, who intends to use it to control world leaders and decide the course of global politics. Why did the alien gods who (we later learn) don't intervene in human affairs because they want all men to be free and masters of themselves give the Aztecs a mind-control mask in the first place? ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄ Knowing that the current Pumaman is the only one who can stop his evil plan, Donald Pleasence attempts to find and eliminate him by throwing potential candidates out windows to see who falls like a cat. Meanwhile, the high priest of the remaining Aztec temple contacts the actual Pumaman, an American (part-Aztec?) paleontologist living in London who knows nothing of his heritage or his late father's superheroic identity. How did his dad, the previous Pumaman, die so early given all his supernatural powers, and why was his son raised in ignorance? ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄ The high priest explains that Tony already has the powers of a puma: to fall gracefully, see in the dark, instinctively sense danger, and possess the strength of a great cat. Then he gives him a belt to enhance his powers that allows him to fly, astral project, and walk through walls. You know, like a puma. Can the high priest teach the whiny paleontologist how to control his powers in time to stop Donald Pleasence's plans for world domination? (Also, why wasn't he the real hero of this movie?)

MST3K lore or notable moments: The makers of this film did not seem to know how to use the flight harness they were able to get their hands on properly, so Pumaman in flight flails about like an idiot. It's laughably unconvincing and really puts even the oldest and cheapest Superman effects into perspective as successful endeavors. It's one of the most well-remembered and iconic moments from the show.

[Edit: Also, another visit from Ortega, who visits the castle to watch Sliders with Brain Guy]

This was supposed to actually be an MST3Klaundryfoldathon, but I wound up test-swatching a baby blanket pattern instead, so it's a true MST3Knitathon - my endeavor to knit probably too many things while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse order. It's the middle of June, but let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas anyway!

7. Episode 321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Summary: The planet Mars is home to a scientifically advanced alien species undetectable by Earth radar or telescopes, as they moved their civilization underground during their nuclear age to protect themselves from bombings. Now the Martians are at peace, living under one ruler (Kimar = King Martian) and enjoying their futuristic technology, such as food pills and teaching machines. But the children of Mars have become depressed - refusing to eat, having trouble sleeping, and showing lack of interest in any activities other than watching captured Earth television rays showing programs about Christmas and Santa Claus. Kimar consults a wizened Martian elder who opines that the lack of fun and laughter in the very logically raised Martian children's lives is stifling their spirits, and they "need a Santa Claus on Mars" to restore their emotional health. Kimar takes a crack team to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus, along with two American children whom he first asks for directions to the real Santa and then takes along so they won't inform the authorities. This should be where the movie kicks off as the greatest toymaker in the world turns his literally magical abilities towards creating toys that will make children from a culture that has literally eliminated fun learn to play again - but the movie has no ideas for how that might go, so they just build a big machine to make regular Earth toys and pad the film with a plot about a bad Martian who wants to stop Kimar and Santa lest they make Martian children as "weak" as Earthlings. There's a lot of unfunny comedy and very cheap props.

(Incidentally, the rest of the main Martian family's names go: Lady Momar = Mom Martian, Bomar = Boy Martion, and Girmar = Girl Martian. All the other Martians are named like clowns (Droppo) or villains in scifi franchises (Voldar))

MST3K lore or notable moments: All of this! The whole episode! But especially "(Let's Have a) Patrick Swayze Christmas." I try not to put all the songs in the notable moments section because even though all of them are great, they did sing a lot of them, but this is one of their best and most well-known songs:

And the Mads' first crack at "The Gift of the Magi," with Frank buying Dr. Forrester a gold watch band that he paid for by hocking Dr. F's Rolex, while Forrester gives Frank a book that he paid for by secretly harvesting and selling Frank's plasma while he slept. O'Henry! (Bonus lore bit as this is one of the few episodes to confirm that the host and bots do get to watch good movies between experiments sometimes, as Joel has tricked Frank into sending them some VHS's of legitimately good and classic Christmas movies.)