Look at that! Another after-several-months update hehe :) I passed my math exam in Stavanger and decided to move closer to my parents while pursuing a degree in computer science. The university I chose is two hours away from Oslo, and I thought it would be an okay place...SPOILER: I was wrong. Everything was fine during the first semester, but towards the end, I started to feel nauseated, a feeling that just grew worse and worse until I eventually threw up in March, and decided to move back home in August because I started to feel (TW) suicidal. That's the short story; I can spare you the details.
I am in my second year and still a student at this university, but I´ve chosen to only attend the mandatory classes (labs), and the rest is up to me to learn and do. It is tough, not only because I have to know the subject matter all alone, or because I have to travel two hours down once a week. It's hard because I can't make a connection with anyone, I can't attend classes and ask for help (especially in math, omg help), I´ve started to feel a strange comparison feeling to students in Oslo, which is not fair because they study here and go to school here, whereas I don't have that. I have a few friends, but they don't study. I have my sister, who's also a student here, but I don't want to be that annoying little sister who turns up all the time (I hope she doesn't see this post). I can't seem to get a job - It's like, damn girl, it's really hard out here. Okay, now I´m just throwing out random things.
I feel guilty for complaining because I chose to come back here. Don't get me wrong, I´m soooooooo much happier here than in that little town, but I also - sometimes - feel sad about my situation.
A few positive things: I save a lot of money by living at home, I have a very supportive family, I'm consistent with my workouts, and I do get to study a lot. I live in the city, which offers a wide range of options for cafes, study places, and thrift shops. I get to see my family every day. I am happy. I am happy I moved back. I will finish this degree with good results and get a job. I will be okay.
