#mostly straight

[Interviewer asks] Whitechapel a friend of mine overheard you say something in the toilets. That you are only a lesbian in Paris. Good line but is it true? I

[Florence's] head whips back and she cracks a huge smile, 'How did you know about that? Well you know girls kissing girls, it’s alright! It’s a lot softer and the French are, well you know, but I’m straight in England!’

She pauses then adds the word ‘mostly’ with a grin.

Here's the full article,

So I consider myself straight. Truly, I do.

If I have learned anything in the last two years, it is that it is okay to be yourself as long as your are not harming others.  There are some things people think and do that are not okay, but being attracted to same sex adults is not bad even if you are straight.  Or identify as straight.  Or whatever is your truth.

Yet how many “mostly straight” or bi guys have I chatted with on here who feel guilty or dirty cuz they find men attractive?  For me I felt sad that I had this side of me.  But why?  

Society.  Religion.  Parents.  Friends.  Wife.

Acting on such things have other ramifications, and I struggle with that part, but finding another middle age fit guy physically attractive, and thinking about him is not bad.  It is very human on some level.

Okay with myself?  Yeah, I think so.  Am I beating sadness?  I am, I really am.  But holy shit it is a hard fight.  Sadness sneaks in every time I compare or wish for things I cannot have. 

I appreciate the “mostly straight”, bi, and gay guys who have left comments on this blog.  I have come close to deleting it several times. Closing this chapter.  But it has shown me I am not alone, and I have felt alone for a long long time.

Thanks! That’s the kind of reaction I aim for! <3 (Here’s the vid anon refers to, and here’s my YT channel.)