#more soft

You reached the top floor, knees nearly buckling under your weight as you anxiously waited for the elevator doors to open. Please, please don’t let him be up here, you silently prayed to yourself. At this point your heart was beating so fast it felt like it was trying to burst out of your chest. You didn’t expect to see him so soon-- more like never again. 

Soon the elevator stopped. It clicked into place as the doors began to slide open. You cautiously stood in the back of the small metal box, launching yourself out to look around the lobby. The sound of pounding foot steps was growing closer however. Carefully you decided to try to run for the door that was only a few meters away. Cursing yourself for wearing those stupid high heels, which made it almost impossible to move around. The screech of an old metal door opening made you jump. “Y/n p-please!” he called after you, you turned to see his panicked, and crazed face. He ran straight at you, giving you no time to dodge his attack. Crashing full force against you, his body caging you into the corner by the door. You struggled against his tight hold, wiggling, whimpering, and growling as you tried to climb your way out of his grasp.

“Shigaraki, p-please!” you choked out, turning your face away from his.

“Stop! I just want to talk to you! S-Stop fighting me!” he begged you, his voice cracking as he stood his ground. It was prevalent to you that he was crying. He never got that upset around you, only a few times. Any time he cried, he couldn’t calm down for hours. He’d sometimes completely shut down, his hands clawing at his face and neck, screaming into the air. 

“I-I can’t do this right now...”

“Please-- I just- I can’t leave you right now. Please. Please don’t go. Please, p-please don’t go. Please... not again. Please...” he sobbed harshly, you looked up to his face. Seeing the tears streaming down the sides of his face. You noticed how his neck was rubbed completely raw, and there were even scratches on his face. He got bad again, and there was no one there to stop it from happening. At that moment, you knew that it was going to get bad unless you calmed him down. His breath was heaving, and his face was a wet mess. Tomura was whimpering any time you moved. 

You felt like he deserved to feel so terrible, after all, he broke you. He made you cry, he fucking cheated on you. But at the same time, all you wanted to do was hold him close to you, and kiss his head. In an attempt to calm him, you snaked your arms from your side up to his face. Softly cupping his cheeks in your hands, salty tears coating your palms. “Okay. Okay. Please, breathe.” you soothed, rubbing soft circles into his cheekbones. Tears continued to fall, but his breathing soon became regulated, and he was calm enough to talk to you. He must’ve gotten himself worked up, you assumed.

He always was bad with coping, if something deeply affected him, he hyper-fixated on it. It never left his thoughts, and he stressed himself to death over it. Tomura was never good with coping correctly. If he really was upset about you leaving him, this reaction was probably to be expected. But you honestly thought he wouldn’t care, or at least barely notice. Before you left, he didn’t care about you in the slightest. Your presence was enough to make him annoyed. He made you feel small. Unwanted. Yet here you were, coddling him. That’s when you recognized the same routine with him. He fucks up, he hurts you, and then you end up being the one who has to fix him afterwards. Every. Single. Time. 

“I... I’m sorry Y/n.” he pleaded, your hands still cupping his face in a way to calm him. “Don’t leave me again, please.” he begged. Putting his hands on top of yours, his tear filled eyes looking into yours.

We’ve been here before, Tomura.

...

“GAH! You fucking bitch! What the fuck?!” he snapped at you, you came in and kissed his cheek, asked him what he was up to, and accidentally knocked off his headset, which caused him to lose focus. You didn’t intend to, you assumed he was just listening to music through them like he often did, because you didn’t hear him talking.

“Tomura, I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t know you were doing something, please--” your heart began to pick up its pace. Flying off of his body. You had interrupted an online game of his, causing him to lose a match that was incredibly important to him and his teammates he often played with. He worked so hard to get to that point, all just for you to come in and distract him while he needed to pay attention the most. He was fuming, his vermillion eyes wide with rage.

“Shut the fuck up! You fucking ruined everything, you fucking idiot! I worked so goddamn hard to get to this point and you just had to come in and fuck it up like you always do! Is that all you know how to do?! Ruin everything?!” he snapped, throwing his headset to the hard wooden floors beneath the two of you.

“I-I didn’t--”

“You don’t mean to do a lot of things and you still fuck up! You’re pissing me off, just shut up and fuck off. Fucking useless.” he snarled, picking his headset off the floor to put back on his head, and sitting down. 

You loudly sobbed as you turned on your heel, walking out of the door and slamming it behind you. Tears pouring out of your e/c eyes as you wondered down the hallway to your room. Fumbling with the door handle, but quickly opening it, locking it behind you and crumbling into your bedsheets. Burrowing your face into your sheets as you released the feeling in your chest. Tomura wasn’t mean to you all that often, but when he was, he knew just how to break you down and make you cry the entire day without hesitation. You didn’t understand why he got so aggressive with you sometimes, even if you messed up and it wasn’t intentional. Sadly, you spent the rest of the day in your room letting yourself cry the pain away, but soon enough you stopped. Enveloping yourself into your bedsheets as you stared at the empty walls in your room. Thinking mindless thoughts, and going over the answers you already knew. 

Soon you drifted unconsciousness, only to be woken up by a sobbing Tomura. He loomed over your figure as he sobbed, scratching at his neck. Muttering things you couldn’t exactly understand. In a half conscious state, you sat up in your bed confused. Not even thinking about what had happened earlier.

“Tomu? Baby, what’s wrong?” you spoke softly to him, reaching your arms out to him.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I’m such a dick. I hurt you. I hate myself.” he sobbed into your chest as you held him close, raking through his periwinkle locks, and kissing his temple. “Please, please don’t leave me. Don’t go. Pl-please don’t go. Don’t leave m-me.” he said in between broke cries, hiccupping as well.

“I’m here. Right here. I love you, so much.” you whispered into his hair. He tensed up, but didn’t respond. Just continued to sob until he calmed down, slept in your room as you smothered him with soft kisses, and your arms around his body. Just like you had many times before that, and after that. 

...

Here you were, for the millionth fucking time it felt like. He hurt you, made you cry, and instead of properly apologizing, he expected you to coddle him. No more would you deal with that behavior of his, it wasn’t fair to you. He expected you to be his, love him, and care for him, when he hardly ever returned it. This will be the last time, you reminded yourself. Dropping your hands from his face. Ready to finally speak your truth to him, no matter how he would take it, you knew he needed to finally understand. To stop being so selfish.

“We-- I, I can’t keep doing this with you, Tomura. I can’t. Can you please listen to me for a second?” you pleaded, looking into his eyes for reassurance. He sniffled, and silently nodded, as a way to let you go on. “I can’t be with you anymore. I can’t keep letting you hurt me, and then I have to be the one to make sure you’re okay, when you hurt me. Every time. I can’t do that, I need someone who is there for me just as much as I am for them. You... You fucking-- you fucking cheated on me for crying out loud! You were having sex with someone else, telling someone else you fucking loved them so easily when it took me a year to get you to say it to me more than once. I was begging you to love me, and you treated me like a burden! I wanted to die! I can’t... I can’t be with you anymore- ever again. I need you to understand that. You really, really fucking hurt me. I left everything behind, for a reason. I didn’t want to, and still don’t want to come back Tomura. I left you, and you need to let me stay gone.” you finished. Finally looking back into his face. He looked devastated, broken. His bottom lip was sucked between his teeth.

“I love you, though... I-I always have I’m-- fucking god damnit!” he snapped, letting a pained noise slip past his lips. “I-I can’t do this without you. Please. One more chance Y/n. Please. I would fucking kill everything in the world for you. You are everything to me. Please.”

“Did you still love me when you were balls deep in miss fire crotch and telling her that you loved her?” you retorted. You knew it was a bad idea to challenge him, but his pathetic attempt to guilt you back into a relationship was upsetting you.

“Yes.”

“Don’t lie to me Tomura. I’m so sick of you lying,”

“I’m not lying! I’m-I’m not lying stop!” he sobbed, his bottom teeth chittering behind the mop of his hair clouding his face.

“I’ve given you too many chances already, I only can take so much. I care about you, but I will never be with you again in this lifetime. I need you to leave, please.” you enforced. Just wanting him to go away already, and let you cry to yourself now.

“I can’t, please don’t do this.”

“Leave. Get off of me Tomura, I’m serious. Leave.” you growled at him, trying to push him off of you. He was hesitant, and still at first, not letting you move. He muttered something under his breath, which you didn’t catch so you raised your eyebrow at him. He looked into your eyes like he was trying to commit your face to memory, reaching out to feel your skin under his touch. “One last time, please. Just please.” he said quietly, his voice crackling. You were confused, but nodded. Not sure what his next move was going to be. He placed your face in his hands, his hands for a moment just holding you. He was admiring every detail, before moving down to your level. Placing his rough, chapped lips on top of yours. Sealing your final good bye with a kiss, like a pact. 

He snaked his hands to the back of your head to hold you in place. Tears leaking on to your cheeks, his staggered breath against your face as his lips contained within yours. They fit like a perfect mold like they always had, you didn’t want him to let go. It suddenly hit you how finalized this all was, this was really the last time. You kissed him back with fury, as if you could melt your faces together. Stay in the moment forever. It was a passionate, soft kiss. The bitter-sweetness leaving a horrid taste in your mouth but you still, held on to it.

“In another life, Y/n. I will make you the happiest girl in the entire world.” he muttered. Pulling back in to kiss your lips one last time before dropping his hold. Stepping away from your form slowly, looking at you as you were stunned into place. The river streaming out of your eyes not yet noticeable to you. He patted the top of your head like he used to often, smiling a small crooked, heartbroken grin at you. As to say ‘I don’t want to walk away, but I will’. “I love you.” he whispered. You mouthed it back to him, words unable to leave your lips. He turned on his heel, and stepped out of the door you previously tried to leave through.

His words hit you like a ton of bricks as you collapsed to your knees. Holding your arms to your chest, and letting out a loud, painful sob. One that was more aching than you had ever felt. Your eyes shut so tight you were sure they’d struggle to open. Your heart was sawed in half, you didn’t even care that you were in a public space. Even though no one was around. In the middle of the lobby, you let yourself break in half. Alone, and away from Tomura. You left him already, it’s been over a month and you thought you were over it. So why were you crying? You felt pathetic, and weak. You wanted to curl up and die. You wanted to run out of those doors, find Tomura again, tackle him to the ground and smother him with kisses. You wanted to run up to Giran’s office and have him hold you. But you settled for what you were already doing, sobbing by yourself.

After a long while of sobbing. Footsteps slowly approached you, as your hands were covering the sides of your head. They stopped in front of you, kneeling down to your length. A hand with gold rings reached into view. Clasping a hand around your wrist. “Oh dollface, you sweet, sweet thing. I’m so sorry ‘bout that sweetheart, I had no idea he was comin’ in today, just kinda showed up outta nowhere. Let it out baby. C’mere, I’ll take care of you.” Giran had a sympathetic look on plastered on his face, you leaped into his hold. He wrapped his arms around you, rubbing soothing circles into your back as you wailed in his hold. 

You both stayed like that until you calmed, he put his hands on the side of your face so you were looking at him once your tears had dried.

“Let’s go home.”

---

You felt alone most of the night, unable to sleep. Painful thoughts corrupting your mind as your eyes tried to drift to the next morning. You sat up in bed, rubbing your face and groaning, feeling your puffy red eyes burning as they adjusted to the small amount of light in the bedroom. Positioning yourself to stand, and make yourself a glass of water. Walking straight into the kitchen, to see Giran still awake. He had a glass of what appeared to be a dark alcohol in his hands as he leaned against the sink in the kitchen. He stood wearing plaid pajama bottoms, and a white tank top, glasses long forgotten about somewhere in his things. Eyes closed and seemingly lost in his thoughts as he swirled the liquid in his glass. He didn’t notice your presence as you stood right outside the doorway, he turned to look out of the small window right above the sink, like he was searching for something out in the yard. A light above his head fully illuminating his features, you smiled at his natural attractiveness. 

“Can’t sleep either?” he called to you. When the hell did he notice me standing here? You thought to yourself.

“No, not at all. My mind is just--jumbled.” you admitted, walking your way over to him. He turned again to face you. Setting his glass down on the counter.

“Can I tell you somethin’?”

“What’s up?’ you replied a bit anxiously.

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” he said calmly, stepping towards you a bit. Grabbing your hands in his, you felt your face heat up at his words. “And no one has ever treated you like you deserve to be treated. Do you know how much of a true gem you are doll? You’re like a diamond inside of a sack of coal.”

“Kagero, are you trying to butter me up for something?” you teased, cracking a wide smile.

“There it is-- that bright, beautiful smile of yours. I’ve missed it all day.” he squeezed your hand. “But of course I am. You know doll, I would give you the world and more if you asked for it.” he beamed at you.

“If I just asked? You’re too cheap.” you rolled your eyes, but returning to look into his.

“Whenever you’re ready, let me give it to you. I hate to be so forward at a time like this, and it might be my buzz talkin’, but... you are worth the wait. So fuckin’ worth it, even though I’m some ugly old man who probably doesn’t even actually have even the slightest chance I jus--” you cut him off mid sentence, pressing a soft kiss against his lips in a way to silence him and reassure him. He tensed up before pulling you by the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Sending a plethora of emotions coursing through your veins.

You both reluctantly pulled away, before you decided to speak again. “You’re not ugly, shut up with that talk. And... I’ll let you know, my heart is still healing. You sure you want to wait?”

“I could wait forever for you doll.”

^^^

As time went on, the plants in your apartment you had abandoned were returning to life. Tomura never took care of them the entire time he resided in there, but he noticed their health improving. His apartment was a pig sty, but with the support of Spinner and Twice, he’s been able to maintain it as much as he could. His surgery was in the next week, he was nervous and he wished you were here holding him through this.

He wondered how you were doing, if you were happy, and safe. If things were going better for you, if you were falling in love with someone else, yourself or both. More often than not, he missed you. Talked about you constantly. You were almost an old myth at this point to tell to new members. Tomura smiled for the first time in a while at the thought of you. Pausing outside his apartment door before unlocking it to relax for the evening. As he unlocked the door, he flipped on the light switch. Making his way over to the couch where he’d reside for the night playing video games, and eventually fall asleep. He stopped before he reached it to look over at your plant. Noticing how your anthurium plant had grown another flower, the old flower that resided in it finally wilted and fell on the floor infront of his feet. “You’re blossoming Y/n. I’m proud of you.” he whispered.