#mordigen

I said it. Fight me.

There has been a trend that has been growing ever more problematic recently: overbearing, hyper-zealous, hyper-vigilant "acceptance" This means the pagan community is an absolute free-for all, and you are not allowed to so much as even feign the possibility that you do not agree with absolutely 100% of everything, lest you be named a gatekeeping, ignorant bigot.

Whether you like it or not - there ARE paths out there that have specific rules...regulations...stipulations...tenets - whatever the hell you want to call or classify them. End. Period. There's no other colour that comes in - that's it. Sorry for you, but they DO exist. In fact, there are many of them.

If you do not follow those rules, tenets, etc..., then you are not of that path. Point. Blank. And there is nothing wrong with that - it simply means that you are of some other path. That's it! That's all that means! It may be *nearly* identical to the path in question - but it is not, hence the 'nearly'.

If you happen to be a part of one of these paths, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying so. If someone claims to be a part of one of these paths, but are absolutely, blatantly not - there is nothing wrong with saying that, and explaining why that is. Some people just honestly don't know there is a difference, or that these certain prerequisites are indeed a definitive factor - so they learn something, they broaden their horizons. Everyone seems to be all about educating themselves about being sensitive to other cultures and customs - except the pagan community, apparently, because this mentality does not translate across that pagan/witch line. Instead of taking it as a learning experience, you are immediately pounced on with notions of 'there are no rules!' 'you can't tell someone what to do on their own path!' Or, simply, the name calling. Well yes, while all of that is true - it still remains that how ever you want to practice or whatever you personally decide to do, may just simply not be what you are claiming, or calling it. It may just be semantics - but semantics matter when dealing with nuance. And paganism is extremely nuanced.

You can call a tomato an orange all you want to - but that thing will never be an orange, no matter how much you believe in it. And people are not wrong for informing you that you may have the wrong name, that is in fact, a tomato. If you go on deciding to call it an orange, you can do that - but that is willful ignorance. So, in your fight to be unapologetically accepting of every ridiculous notion, you are perpetuating willful ignorance - whilst being directly in opposition of your goal and being, *GASP*, unaccepting to those who follow a path where distinction and definition matters. You are completely invalidating those people's paths and beliefs while trying to defend another's (another who may, in fact, actually be wrong) and actively using their path & beliefs as the very reason to berate and ostracize them. Pretty fantastically hypocritical of you. Now...on to the second problem. I do not, at all, in any form, believe in "ritual magick" - as perpetuated by Aleister Crowley hardons. And no, that is not a knock on Crowley, just the idiot followers that don't understand half of what he taught and latch onto the superficial.

When you look at the origins and make up of magical beliefs, and magic itself as a separate entity - no matter which particular branch - they were all created by religion. They all have roots in highly spiritual cultures and customs. So, I absolutely do not believe for one second that you can believe in magic without SOME form of religion - whatever one you adhere to is your choice, but you cannot have the first without the latter. You cannot. Even if you claim that you have no religion, or spiritual faith, your practices absolutely do. You are calling on elements and agencies that absolutely have divine ties and connections one way or another. Oh, how many atheists I see calling on the seals of Arch Angels.... are you fucking shittin me? Really?? So let's bring it all together now - with the fact that many faiths DO have prerequisites, AND the fact that magic is religious/spiritual -- Christians are not, and cannot be witches or pagans. They are mutually exclusive. Not only because so many various paths have such prerequisites, and very define religious/spiritual beliefs that are contradictory to others - but simply because Christianity DOES, very much, have very clear and stringently defined Do's & Don'ts, and obviously the religious aspect itself clashes with the religious beliefs of others. Their religious beliefs clash with people who believe in their same god - so how could they not with those who believe in other gods?? Considering this, no other path would even need such stipulations themselves for them to be mutually exclusive, as Christianity already covers that issue so completely, but the fact that so many pagan paths do only exacerbates an already existing problem. That being said - that does not mean you cannot believe in the Christian 'god', by whatever name you know him by - or that you cannot believe in Jesus, and also be a witch or pagan. In fact the latter has an even bigger argument for believing in both, as paganism, generically, in itself is polytheistic, so it is very fitting to simply have the Christian god and Jesus amongst the many deities being worshipped. But those two things alone is not what makes Christianity. A good start, yes, but that is not all it takes - in fact, there are many that are shunned, excommunicated, banned, condemned and moreso whilst having those very two qualifying factors. You can find this in *every single* sect of Christianity, so...the proof is in the pudding, as they say, that it is much more than simply believing in 'God' and Jesus that makes a 'Christian'. And if you take that to heart and follow all those rules - you cannot be a witch or pagan, many times over, as you would be in direct opposition, or violation, of a number of their teachings - both on the aspect of simple 'rules', but also on a much deeper spiritual level of the entire foundation of their faith. Cannot serve two masters, and all that... If you do not follow those rules, then sure, you could be a witch or a pagan - but then you cannot be a Christian. That is just the facts.

Many people like to argue the use of magic and mysticism in the bible - but the issue is what parts of the bible they are found, and all the amendments of the further books. Again, what really carves out being a Christian vs. any of the other sects of Abrahamic beliefs. As, news flash - there is far more than just Christianity. And some of them, do, in fact, do hand in hand with magic. The Kabbalah is an astounding example of that - and, in fact, where a lot of the so called *ahem* 'non'-religious 'ritual magick' comes from. In this same vein, I would like to note that I have never had any issue or seen conflict with the Hebrew or Jewish take on shamans, mystics and witches, as they really do go hand in hand - They have their own very in depth, detailed, spiritual and sentimental form of mysticism that was a natural progression from pre-Abrahamic religions and culture, and grew into their teachings and belief system, so it does not go against their core beliefs the same way it very stringently does in Christian theology. Considering their ethnical histories and cultural heritage - this is a brilliant example of the natural evolution and progression of faiths - not simply ripped from the hands of the brutally oppressed and rewritten as a mockery to wipe out the preexisting notion of faiths -- as the Church has a history of doing. The Book of Enoch is another shining example of Biblical magic, or Angelic magic. But, this also also turns my point into a self fulfilling prophecy, as in the fact that it is accepted amongst all denominations as heresy, and it is taught that these magics - though they do, in fact, exist, were for the angels and completely forbidden from mankind. So, thusly, if you are a follower of Enoch, you are not a 'Christian', by name and membership, as you are outright going against it's teachings. You are a heretic, a blasphemer. Perhaps you may be one of the many other forms of the Christian god's followers - but not a Christian, as being Christian denotes a very specific set of beliefs and tenets - end of story. Magic, and paganism, is in direct conflict with those teachings, and therefore, cannot coexist.

On top of the logic - there is also the emotional issue. Christianity has a long history of abuse towards various pagan, tribal and indigenous faiths, while stealing our beliefs as their own, and demonizing those they couldn't successfully acclimate into theirs. To now be expected to be OK with this faith, yet again, latching on to *our* sacred rites and practices as being a part of their own is a hard pill to swallow at best, a slap in the face to most, and flat out perpetuating trauma at worst. Once upon a time, people sought out these very same communities and groups within their pagan circles as an escape, a safe space, and a shield and guardian against the Christian onslaught, torment, oppression, or just exhaustion - and now, we must not only tolerate them invading our private spaces, but must now welcome them with open arms and expected to be happy about it? Forgive me if I don't sympathize....

If we are going to now be forced into being shoulder to shoulder with them, the very least you can offer us is neutrality. You can be accepting of all and still be neutral grounds - not taking any one side anywhere, all you have to do is be respectful to each other. Disagreement is not disrespectful. Could someone who disagrees with a certain viewpoint *become* disrespectful? Sure, of course they could. But simply the act of disagreement is nothing hateful or hurtful in any way shape or form - in fact, good discourse is how progress is made. So we need to remain neutral grounds and normalize the acceptance of different viewpoints - we need to recognize and accept that, yes, there are paths out there that do have specific requirements, expectations and limits - there are paths that are going to disagree, or just flat out not believe in something. Instead of name calling, when someone of those paths decides to speak up and enlighten and elaborate on information that may be inaccurately described or depicted, you need to LISTEN and learn, and not just bludgeon them with presumptive judgement. You also need to accept that there are many, various different closed practices out there - beyond Native American & Voodoo practices (as those seem to be the only ones the pagan community recognizes) and if someone of those closed faiths tell you - no, you are not xy or z, that is also not being judgmental or hateful or hurtful - that simply is. ....a very important side note here is that acknowledging closed practices is also not a carte blanche for screaming about cultural appropriation. Please shut the fuck up about cultural appropriation. Not being of a specific faith is not equivalent to cultural appropriation - Telling someone "no, you're not xyz" is very different from telling someone "no, you can't practice xyz" (looking at you smudge-Nazis) You can enjoy, practice, learn or celebrate anything you want of any faith you want while not actually being apart of it - that's the beauty of sharing and learning. And I think that is where all the trouble boils down from:

And so we decided to join.....

We made our arrangements with our parents, each one of us “spending the night” with another so as to cover our tracks for our midnight outing. We were led in a fairly run-o-the-mill initiation rite with a group of other new members. They cast a circle, we were in white linen robes and donned with flower crowns. We all had a specific role in ‘calling’ the towers as to be one with the ritual we were involved in - they lit a bonfire. We all had candles, they lit one by one as they spouted out prayers and incantations. We were anointed and saged. When it came our time, we would speak our part  - some generically worded ‘dedication’ to the Goddess. We tossed our crowns into the fire, along with a lock of our hair. As we were officially initiated, the lead would come around and extinguish our candles as she closed the circle. It was nice enough, but ....anticlimactic. I’ll be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting, but whatever it was - the reality fell flat. BUT, I walked away thinking - well that’s not bad at all! What was I ever worried about? It seemed to galvanize my faith, and my denial. And since I was still under the belief that this was just a modern interpretation of a very olde faith, I thought then, perhaps, all those things we read about were simply from the “olde ways”, and this modern faith was nothing to worry about. 

But, it all changed once we had been initiated. There were now suddenly heavy expectations of new members. You HAD to attend so many meetings, or you’d be kicked out. You HAD to contribute so much work, or you’d be kicked out. You HAD to follow the High Priestesses rules - whatever that may be within each meeting - or you’d be kicked out. You HAD to pay tithings, or you’d be kicked out. And, of course - once you were initiated. Well....that’s when all the rituals became “skyclad”....and you HAD to participate....or else you’d be kicked out. 

Well. Spoiler alert - I was kicked out. I wasn’t the only one, but there were a couple of our friends who stayed. And I was once again seething in envy. They came back with stories that were shocking, honestly, with some of the things they had to do --- but they also came back with fantastic stories about all these new things they were learning and doing, and I just couldn’t stand it. There was one skyclad meditation class my friend was a part of where she was partnered with an 60 something year old man, where there was touching. Nothing scandalous - but still, contact. And whilst I absolutely did NOT want to get naked in front of a 60 year olde man, and I absolutely did NOT want to see a naked 60 year olde man - and did not want to have to touch palms with him, whilst both of us are horribly uncomfortably naked - I couldn’t get past everything she was taking away from it. She constantly touted how natural it was, how uninhibited you felt and how nothing dirty or sexual every happened and how it was supposed to force you beyond the realms of your body, where you didn’t even notice that you or anyone else was naked. Months passed, and the ones who stayed had nothing but positive things to say - and they had seemingly accomplished so much. Comparisons between nude beaches and nudist colonies abound, and the tut-tutting of how Americans are just a bunch of prudes because of Puritans. It’s a hard argument to dispute. The grooming was successful. They had won them all over. And truth be told, they were winning me over as well. I had started to reevaluate all my misgivings. I was just a prude. I was a slave to Puritan thought and tradition. 

It was less than a month hereafter, my friend was selected to participate in the Great Rite. I will not state how olde she was at the time, but her ‘partner’ was well into his 40s. I know nothing of the details beyond how utterly excited and eager she was, and how she apparently was able to achieve astral projection and make it to the Akashic Library.

Supposedly all her workings she ever did were wild successes - she got everything she ever wanted, and seemed to have just an infinite amount of knowledge about anything. She soared in confidence, personality, popularity, experimentation, intellect, and owned her blooming sexuality. I was unbelievably jealous. 

I made moves to join another coven myself. I wanted what she had. I wanted to become this enlightened, powerful, greater version of myself I ever could be. I wanted to be that fucking cool. So, I did some digging, and met some people. But, as I had come to find out - it was extremely hard to find one open to younger members. Specifically because of the sexual content. I eventually found one open to younger members. In retrospect, I did absolutely no due diligence whatsoever - I joined the first one that was open to minors as I was just desperate to join one, and start my journey to become as awesome as my friend. Only, this one was run by a Priest, not Priestess, and forced skyclad from the get go - it was part of their “trials” as to whether or not you were serious in your journey, as, according to them, that was the -only- way to perform rituals. If you were uncomfortable doing so, then you were not “ready”. 

So I performed. I hated every minute of it. I was unbelievably uncomfortable in front of all these complete strangers. But I forced myself through it, still holding fast to the idea that I just needed to shed all of my puritanical preconceptions and become comfortable in my own skin. The older men gravitated to the younger members - which was encouraged by the women as a rite of passage, for the sake of “mentoring”, that they all had gone through it themselves in their time. In more than one of my sessions, they were notably aroused. The older members brushed it off as just being a natural effect of the human nature, and not to take offense to it. So I pushed through, and tried to ignore it. I never had any of the overwhelming, enlightening experiences my friends claimed to have experienced - just horridly uncomfortable encounters with sexually aroused older men gawking at me. I was turned away from this coven for not being a “right fit” and not being “ready” for my journey. I was devastated. Though, when I look back on it today, I can only think that they could see/feel my discomfort and believed I would either not engage with them at all, in which case what’s the point? Or, if I did, I would have caved and told someone about the encounters - which would be a lot of problems for them.

But, I was young, and I was an idiot, and I was effectively brainwashed. So I set out to find another one, and was determined to not let my insecurities ruin my chances of being able to learn and grow in a legitimate Coven. It took a while, but I eventually found another one open to minors. They had legitimate application forms. I applied. I went to a few meetings and what could only be described as interviews. I had to take several tests. I found this encouraging - they really took the educational/intellectual side seriously. They swooned over the knowledge I had already gained - especially for it being all on my own. I was delighted. I was blind to the fact that so many of their tests were centered around doctrine - one of which being the secrecy aspect, yet again. Apparently, I had all the right answers. I was selected for initiation. I was ecstatic. But then they informed me that initiation was performed through the Great Rite, with either the High Priest or Priestess, and though wouldn’t be open to the entire Coven, would be confirmed/witnessed by the other Priest and several of the high-ranking officials. I immediately grew anxious - but I was determined. So I agreed....

....

It took weeks of preparation - I was given homework to do to prepare myself. I was given a special diet to stick to and varying cleansing rituals were performed on me to purify my mind, body & spirit. All of these things made me feel more comfortable - it was being treated very much like a very important, spiritual ritual. It did not feel creepy or seedy. My - attendants? I guess is the best way to call them, 3 women of varying ages that were to be the “witnesses”, and were all very kind and caring and motherly. They answered any questions I had, they were supportive and encouraging. They made it feel very much like an exciting journey and the beginning of something wonderous and magical once I was officially a member. I was starting to become more resolute in making this happen. And not really second guessing myself anymore. I thought it was working - I was losing the strict, prude mindset my upbringing had chained me to. 

The day of I was led into a community-center type building, I have no idea if the coven owned this building - had rented it out for the day, or if it was, in fact, a public community center they were actually expecting to carry this out in. I’m not sure which one is more disturbing - but it was dark, they had it lit up with candles everywhere. Music was playing and a few people were singing and chanting. It was, really, very lovely and peaceful and soothing, though there were more people there than I thought there would be. Again - it felt very thoughtful and ritualistic and taken very seriously. They were all very much invested in this, and that made me feel better somehow - this wasn’t just a joke to them. (A performance, maybe...but not a joke) My 3 ladies allowed me to undress privately - something else that gave me great comfort, it made me think they don’t want nudity or sexuality just for the hell of it, but that this was, in fact, a very sacred ritual to them - and gave me a robe that had been painted in runes and sigils that were supposed to help consecrate the ritual and my body. They walked me out into the main room, they cast a circle with lots of flair and singing, and laid out a bed-roll like cushion in the middle. They draped it in white linen, said some incantations and saged it. They brought me into the circle and did their incantations, and saged me. Again - all very ritualistic and spiritual - seemed very kosher and serious - Until they got to the point where they unrobed me and actually laid me on the cushions.

I started panicking inside. The “Priest” came out from the other room carrying an incense burner, and chanting. What, I have no idea - it wasn’t English, it wasn’t Irish, it wasn’t French. Those were the languages I knew, so I knew it wasn’t any of them - sounded very much like Gregorian Chants. So perhaps is was Latin, or perhaps it was completely made up nonsense. I have no idea. But he was already very obviously aroused - I panicked even more. Even though I was trying to keep it inside, it was starting to be noted that I was panicking. One of the three ladies tried to calm me down, she was reassuring. But I can’t even remember what she was saying - I don’t think I was able to hear her even then. The “Priest” carried on with his incantations, a few people lit candles and sprinkled salt at intervals. The brought forth various branches that were supposed to signify different things - and then it was “time”.  I suddenly became very aware of the fact that he had no condom - and no inclining to be producing one from anywhere. I finally came back to my senses and actually asked / objected to this notion. One of the ladies told me that condoms were not used as it obstructed the contact between bodies becoming “one” and therefore lessened the spiritual connection to the God / Goddess being invoked in us. I. Flipped. My. Shit.

Let’s ignore for a moment that this ENTIRE THING is horribly wrong, and remember I was a young, dumb, easily influenced teen - but thankfully THAT snapped brain cells back into function, and rational, logical, objective thought back into me. No one had ever discussed this idea with me - hadn’t even mentioned it, let alone asked if it was something I was comfortable with or willing to go through. No discussion of any type of protection in the off change that I had agreed. I was done. I told them I didn’t want to do this. THEY FOUGHT ME.

Guys. GUYS. THEY FOUGHT ME. the *WOMEN* fought me. The “Priest” started getting angry and belligerent, and started making comments about being blue-balled. SO SPIRITUAL, mmmhmm. They did everything in their power to try to convince me to go through with it - the “Priest” started taking off his robe, AS IF HE WAS JUST GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY. I started yelling - that was the only thing that shifted their focus, they were now trying to get me to quiet down. Someone FINALLY spoke up and suggested that this wasn’t right, if I didn’t want to do it then I didn’t want to do it. The “Priest” stormed off angry, started cussing and yelling and throwing things. One of the ladies offered to ‘take care of him’  !! Yes. You read that right. Oh yes, this whole charade was SO SPIRITUAL guys. He was only worried about getting his rocks off. Don’t even ask me what everyone else was getting out of it - voyeurism ?  they get off on control and deceit??  I dunno. Don’t ask me - I will never fucking understand it.  I was humilated, and SO unbelievably ashamed. How could I be so fucking stupid, and easily manipulated, and so jealous of my friend to put myself in that kind of position???

It was only after they realized I had packed up and left did they send someone out after me .....TO MAKE SURE I WASN’T GOING TO TELL ANYONE. Not to make sure I was OK. Not to offer some sort of sorry-ass apology or excuse. No. To make sure I wasn’t going to narc them out. I was so ready to get out of there an never see any of them again, I  - like an IDIOT - agreed to not tell anyone. For YEARS.  (They did, eventually, all get arrested so don’t completely lose your minds, guys) 

You can tell me I just ran into a bad group of people - that not everyone is like that, and not every coven is like that. And while, yes, that may be true - I will explain why I take extreme issue with this: 

If it were just a few bad apples, then why did every group I encountered have predatory issues? Every-one. 

Even the groups I didn’t engage with, I couldn’t because I was underaged - specifically because of the sexual interactions. By their own admittance. What degree those interactions are? We’ll never know - but their is a greater, underlying, systemic issue when a group - or a faith - by doctrine - is so sexually oriented. Let’s take out the issue of minors - full grown ass adults can be manipulated and abused. So if you’re entire religion is based so heavily on illicit activities, there is a greater issue. If it is a *requirement* - that is a problem. And the only reason to have strict 18+ limits on a religion  is if it is a *requirement*. That is a cult. If it is simply one option amongst many, than to each their own - however you want to personally and privately practice, more power to you - but if it is only an option, then there is no need to preach or practice it in an entire public group setting, and then in that case no need to exclude minors.

Also, much later on we discovered that the “Coven” my friend was a part of was, for lack of better description, just a giant orgy. They pressured her into getting birth control so she could engage “unrestricted” in their activities. What we, the idiots, believed was so much power and strength and confidence we discovered later on that everyone else just called her a whore - because what this group had psychologically instilled in her was you get what you want through sex. They had oversexualized her and way too young, and impressionable age - So she had sex with anyone, and everyone, for whatever reason. She thought she was “empowered”, but even now - to this day (or at least, the last time I talked to her in our adult lives) I don’t think she fully comprehends what they did to her. She is absolutely not empowered.

Even to this day, this argument continues in the Pagan community. As recently as a month ago I was engaged in a debate about initiating minors. Sex is ALWAYS argued as being a part of the craft. Now, read me clearly - I am not discrediting sex magick, or anyone who decides to use it in their own craft, or anyone who decides to perform their rituals nude. If that is what feels right for you - do it. But there is a very profound difference between deciding what is right for you, and being told that *THIS* is *HOW* you *DO IT*. Do you know how many times I have heard that “Skyclad” is the *right* way to perform your magic? That is you’re not doing it, then your ritual or workings will be less affective? That you cannot properly attune yourself if you’re clothed?  The list goes on and on. Do you know how many times I have heard the Great Rite defended and heralded as the “most powerful” initiation ??? Or the most spiritual ritual ? That it has a solid and sacred place in the working, speaking of it in a manner as if it should be a goal for everyone at some point or another to engaged in this ritual at some point in their journey, or else they haven’t truly achieved....whatever it is they are touting should be achieved. Nirvana, enlightenment, higher vibrations....whatever. These arguments I have had as recently as yesterday. And continue to be regular topics of discussion and shaming - right on up there with cultural appropriation. 

And no - not everyone is going to behave this way or condone these activities, I am aware of that. There will inevitably be people out there who identify as Wiccan that will be adamantly against these things - but the issue with being either the rule or the exception is doctrine and dogma. And believe you me - this IS indoctrinated in the faith. This is Dogma. Read Gardener’s work - look at his beliefs. Follow his structure and rules. When it is expected of the followers. When it is a standard, or default. When it is a tenet of a faith - that is when it becomes a problem. That is when you start walking the line of a Cult. 

And It is these very teachings that are why this is so pervasive in our community. You see it blasted all over the blogs, in our circulars and magazines. Predators are so prevalent in our community, because this man - this cult - has not only normalized it, but teach it as a tenet of the faith. And Wicca itself has become so indoctrinated in the community, that people forget - EVERY DAY- That Wicca isn’t the ONLY path out there, and that their rules aren’t the ONLY rules. Raise your hands if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by the Three Fold Law.  Look how long it took me to figure out that wasn’t the only path out there? AND I had family that were pagans, and it STILL took me that long! Granted, I had the very wrong idea of what Wicca actually was from the get go, but I didn’t know how to distinguish it from anything else. I didn’t know how to separate it from paganism as a whole.  I luckily had family in the community who stepped in after my ordeal with the Covens - and not only helped me heal, and protected me - and were the catalysts in them being investigated and arrested. Luckily these people were able to actually step in and help straighten out things I had “learned”, and guide me in a real way. Not everyone has that, and now with the internet, there are even more avenues for newcomers and the innocent and naïve to be led astray. And they will take it as gospel - as my friends and I once did - because they are searching, and don’t know any better. And those are the very type that Cults prey upon.....and whadoya know, those are also the very same ones to fall into the Wiccan claws - that is a cult. 

People will also try to argue how...well, how big it is. Nothing that far-reaching or popular can be a cult. But I’d point you to a certain Big Blue building down in Florida and kindly suggest you find a new argument - that’s not flying here. Size nor influence matters. And no, that does not mean every single person that identifies as Wiccan is horrible or delusional or evil  or a predator - but as much as a few bad apples don’t make the whole batch bad; a few good apples in a tainted orchard doesn’t suddenly save the whole grove.

On this Halloween day, I am drawn once again to a problem I have always taken issue with. 

As I have been indulging in forums, groups, chats and the like since Quarantine has taken over our lives - I have come across a common theme, that, frankly, I never realized was a real thing outside of Fantasy canon and DnD. And now as everyone is preparing their Samhain rites, a common thread seems to have approached, again, on the matter:

The Fae are evil. The Fae are killed/scared of iron. 

And as I discovered how absolutely widespread this theory was, in light of a recent...faux pas? Of a certain collection of people “hexing” the moon, and planning to hex the Fae. And as the obnoxious (or possibly hilarious) revolt of the internet reacted, it culminated into a long-standing issue I have had with theories, folklores, and myths of the “Fae”.

Firstly, and most generally, what is the definition of “Fae”?  For me, in my faith - it is the ancestral demi-gods that have been driven underground, and live betwixt and between this realm and the Otherworld.  

But I have heard “Faes” described as, literally, anything and everything that is a humanoid ethereal and/or fantasy creature. Faeries, fairies, pixies, nymphs, sprites, spirits, brownies, gnomes, elves, elementals.  Just about anything and everything can fall under the umbrella of “Fae” - and this just seems problematic, and inaccurate.  Where did this come from? How did this happen?

My incessant googling as offered up little more than a flabbergasted shrug, unfortunately. There seems to be no collective answer to this - it just sorta happened. Well, great. 

The issue I take with this is that, in my culture and faith - which seems to be the very rarely disputed “origin” of the term, at least, if not the general idea of Otherworldly beings - they are a very specific thing, and are very much their own, defined, beings - Species, I guess you could qualify it as. And in the same vein, each and every one of the other hodge-podge of creatures that can be clumped together under the ‘Fae’ term are ALSO each their own very distinctive, individual and different beings, that have their own tales, histories and mythos that define them. Each unique and significant, if not similar to one another. But similarity does not make them the same being. Similarity does not even make them the same species. So why do they get lumped together?

The best common thread I can come up with seems to be : Christianized Fear. That may sound harsh - but it seems to be the common thread that the Christian community that was moving into these Pagan-dominated regions seemed to clump all these smaller, lesser, various foreign ideas, peoples and beliefs they didn’t quite understand and could accurately differentiate together as varying pieces of the same greater “thing”, thusly muddying up each of their distinct origins and histories and cultures. Anything that wasn’t Christian, was ‘otherly’ - and anything that was ‘otherly’ was Fae. End of story.  And I guess the idea just spread, and stuck over all the generations. 

Secondly - Why are they evil??? I get the Christian concept of presenting these Otherworldly beings as evil. It is nearly self exaplanatory - but why do WE as Pagans, still adhere to the idea that they are Evil ?? If they are beings, just like any other beings in the universe, then they are capable of individualism just like every other living creature out there - some are good, some are bad, the collective WHOLE is never just one or the other. So why is this story so pervasive - especially in groups of various faiths that hold reverence towards these people, if not some that flat-out worship them? 

I, personally, think this is just flat-out wrong. As in inaccurate, not as in immoral, just to clarify. Again - sure, some of them could be evil. Absolutely. Just like some people are evil - but that doesn mean all.  So why do we classify them as “all” ? It doesn’t make sense.  

I have asked this questions in groups, to individuals - both pagan and not- and I’m given a collection of very vague, parroted responses like “They’ll kidnap you!” or they’re “Spiteful and vindictive”.  

But, if you read the tales, look at the collective folklore, the instances of purported kidnappings happen to take place while trespassing. And the acts of violence or retribution happen in response to some trangression of humans against the Fae. And if you actually read the tales of “changelings” - it’s clear that changelings aren’t actually a thing. Again, lets reference the Christianized fear, of blaiming things they had trouble comprehending on other things they didn’t understand, and thusly feared. If a child was born with defects or disabilities, it was a changeline. If there was some mental issue - it was a changeline. If it was the wrong sex that the parents desired - it was a changeline. If it was just ugly - it was a changeling. Not exactly the most compelling cases of legitimate child abductions, if you ask me, that the Fae have consistently been blamed for over the course of centuries.  Well, hell. I’d be a bit bitter and salty towards human kind, too, in that case - but that still doesn’t make them “evil”. In fact....It’d be hard to argue that most of us wouldn’t react in the exact same, or similar (some cases, WORSE) manner if people kept trespassing & disrespecting my property, continued to trick or deceive me, or did not keep up their end of a deal, bargain or trade, and continued to lie and blame me for EVERYTHING that ever went wrong in their lives. In fact, that, to me, is a much better argument that they are very real, sound minded people capable of pain, insult & injury just like anyone else, rather than cases of them being “evil”.

Thirdly. Iron is their kryptonite. Why? How? I can find various passing references of this through many different texts on mythology and folklore back through the 1600s. But absolutely no explanation, or origin, whatsoever. Where did this come from?  I don’t care who you classify the “Fae” to be - all of the many forms and iterations they take ALL...have... S M I T H S in their mythos, culture or canons. They all use weapons, presumably of some form of iron as they have very specific titles and descriptions for those who work in non-ferrous material, such as copperwrights, or silversmiths, etc.  And things such as aluminum and tin just wouldn’t be feasible for weapons or armory, as they are low density, fairly malleable and doesn’t hold an edge well. So why would something they actively use ever be considered a deterrent for them?  This one just baffles me wholly, and I can only assume that it was some sort of snake-oil remedy of some charlatan that they just clung to, and since the vast majority of their “Fae” claims tended to be horrible scape-goating, their superstitious “deterrent” appeared to actually work, and therefore forged itself into immortality, and infamy, for all the generations to come. 

So overall, I just find all of these things just plain - well, weird, to put it bluntly. They just don’t make sense, don’t stand up to scrutiny, and have no real basis of evidence or even reference of how, or why, they came to be. The best we have are some vague theories, reaching at a collection of passing references from an overly superstitious, Christian authority. Hardly the people to have the right to dictate the truth, or facts, of the collective Pagan cultures and faiths. This is why I find all of these things just horribly inaccurate, and personally, I believe it to just be complacent, or pure laziness, to be a Pagan and continue to perpetuate these worn out tropes. 

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: your boytoy is not a king. Your sidechick is not a queen. Stop calling them one.

I hate this. So very, very much. Just about as much as people calling women ‘females’. 

What?? But Why! I mean, it’s positive! It’s encouraging! It’s supportive and beautiful! And is so much better than other things you could be calling men/women. 

No. Incorrect. Not havin’ it. It’s fake. It’s arrogant, narcissistic even, it’s enabling and feeding a sense of entitlement and grandeur that 99% of people don’t ever need blowing up in their precious little egos. And it, plainly, is just not fucking true - and I have a thing against non-truths. To my very core. I despise them. 

See, King & Queen actually mean something to a shit ton of people. It is a title that must be earned or bestowed, either through great feats, or by birth right. It is a heavy burden, a highest servitude, a noble undertaking that can bring peace and progression and great leadership, or horror and terror and the plagues of broken seals. Either way it goes - it is not something to be taken lightly, and certainly not something to be so hollow and glib about. Not to mention, if everyone is calling their BFs and GFs kings and queens, what the hell makes being one so special?  Answer: Nothing. It’s not. You’re not. 

Your shallow, face tuned instagram pages littered with photoshop thumbnails and perfectly tweaked filters do not a king/queen make. Just because you have a pussy between your legs, this does not make you some ethereal noble creature worthy of praise, worship and undue loyalty.  Well. Loyalty, OK - unless you guys have an arrangement. That’s your own business. But everything else? No, honey. You are not so special. Same goes for all the menfolk out there who, really, don’t need any more ego stroking as it is. What makes you so high and worthy? What kingdom could you even possibly rule over? Your overpriced designer shih tzu parade? Your over inflated apartment you can’t afford without your other half rushing to move in after knowing each other two months?

They are in love with the idea of this glam and lofty - holier-than-thou lifestyle, where they are the all important Earth in the center of the all-known (but miniscule) Universe conception. This idea also holds a very dysfunctional attachment that they must be the most important figure in their others’ world, and therefore must be the ruler of their created world. The word that sticks out to me there is ruler. But they are completely disassociated with the idea of what it really means to be a King or Queen at all - they just like the aesthetic. But to anyone who has lived under a King or Queen, whether they loved them and laid down their weapons at their feet, or felt the bitter, scathing yoke of such governing - it just sounds. Well - trashy. What makes it even worse is that more often than not, these people who decide to use these words tend not to be the shining examples of royalty - in fact, they are usually the exact opposite. Which just makes my eye twitch even more. Uhg. 

See - I come from a culture where the the King/Queen were held to high and strict standards that were, for all intents and purposes, pretty damn progressive. Even for today, let alone the time which they reigned. If you didn’t live up to these expectations, you could be ousted by the people and killed for treason - to the people/realm, or basically in lieu of jail time, you were indentured until you had ‘righted’ your ‘wrongs’, paid your debts (to society) or ‘learned your lesson’. Or just until the people thought you had been tormented enough to know how it feels. Whichever was the flavor of the day.  They had a profound duty to their countrymen, and to their realm, and it was not taken lightly by either party - whether their intentions were pure or corrupt, it was a big deal with a heavy workload and a high ante - and when they garnered praise and worship, it was for a damn good reason. Take a page from history, those who relished in their own glory and grandiosity and lavish lifestyles usually found their heads on spikes.

The obligatory Beltane / May-Day post.

Well wishes, happy harvests, and bountiful blessings for everyone this season - as it should be (or hoped to be) every season.

But, I can't say that it is a warmly welcomed season so far. Every holiday / harvest day / celebration that comes around - I am bombarded with article after article and post after post from pagan communities, blogs and centers from all over blaring out, and sharing, and reposting on histories and traditions.......that just aren't true. Or misconstrued, greatly.  And it's disheartening. 

Now, if you are a Neo-Pagan, and you follow these modernized traditions - then you go for it.  BUT, when we are discussing histories and traditional ideology of where the celebration is rooted - that's a much different discussion than simply talking about personal practices or customs. 

I'm sure you've all heard all the discussion of the sexual prowess of Beltane, and the Great Rite, and the copulation of the God and Goddess and the marrying of the Land and great orgies by bonfires for the sake of fertility.

And frankly, in my own opinion - that is all blasphemy. And insulting.

Beltane is a harvest festival. That is all. It is the celebration of the bounty of Spring, and welcomes Summer. Traditionally, it marked the "beginning of summer" and was a time that they would reap harvest, turn fields, begin the breeding season of certain livestock, and send the cattle out to pasture, and hope / pray for the fertility and ripeness of the land. 

As a celebration of summer, and the over-turning of the seasons, it was thought to be one of the pinnacle points of the year when the spirits were most active, and the veils between worlds was the thinnest - allowing the influence of the gods / spirits to be at a peak. They would make offerings to the gods for their blessings for the upcoming season, and they would perform special rites to purify and protect their livestock, land, and even the people themselves. 

It's basis was centered around a sense of renewal, blessings, optimism and hope. Not a sex fest as modernism seems to have turned it into.  And yes, arguably - you can say that the idea of the rebirth of the land, and it's heavy focus on fertility *could* be interpreted in a sexual and symbolic manner. Yes. That could be argued - but that interpretation and ideology has developed over the modern era, and was not *traditionally* what Beltane was about at all. 

Beltane is rooted in Celtic Ireland, and can be read about in some of the oldest, most influential Irish mythos - and has been well documented throughout the medieval era all over Celtic Europe.

We, of course, don't know everything, in every detail about the very first traditions and customs of those first Beltane rites - but the fact that they had survived for so many centuries, and had been documented by many different cultures throughout the region leads us to a pretty clear picture of what exactly this Season, and celebration, meant to them. And to imply otherwise, or to perpetuate wrong-information as fact - or to state that modern interpretations and rituals as "traditional" is ignorant, and doing a disservice to the culture - regardless of if you try to walk a traditional path, or modern one. 

There is a reason why we are often looked at in society today as being little more than a bunch of free-lovin-hippy-cult-revival of over-sexualized debauchery - or why certain circumstances of criminal acts seem to be so scrutinized, and impactful to our community -- because the community continues to influence the idea that our culture, and history, is rooted in nothing more than a prominent sexual overtone. Which is a very shallow, cut-and-dry image to paint to a culture that has so many depths and histories within it. 

SO. 

I've finally started reading Game of Thrones.  Yes yes,  I know, I hear you. I've been a bit busy, ok?

But anyhoo - Yes, I've finally started legitimately reading it....and....

I'm not really liking it so far :/  

I haven't gotten far enough in to really have any say-so over the story or plot line itself.....but the writing??

not my favorite writing. 

I get irritated at the overly abundant "he said"

"she said"  "said so-n-so insert adjective" "So-n-so said"  after. 

every.

single.

god damn.

line.

DUDE. if you have to repeatedly tell me 20 times who said what when you only have SO many people talking.......somethings wrong.  -OR- when you have to REPEATEDLY tell me who said what when to whom because you have THAT many people talking at once -- maybe you just shouldn't have so many people talking at one time??  Or maybe you should set up your scenes better so we can tell who would be saying what when without having to blatantly spell it out like a first-grade picture book so many god damn times. 

This is incredibly frustrating, and it's really disappointing because I have enjoyed the show so much - and I really *want* to like it. 

Plus, everyone, e v e r y o n e  told me 'oh, if you like crown of stars, you should read a song of ice and fire - you'll love it!'  really got me way too psyched up for this, because holy shit - *I LOVE CROWN OF STARS* 

so I was all ready to be sucked into another plethora-long series of epic fantasy awesomeness.

On a side note though, it makes me feel a lot better about my own writing, because I don't feel so different, or so inexperienced or like what I'm writing is actually so horrible ;p

For those who actually *got* the point I was making about Kenny Klein, thanks :)  'preciate the fact that you know how to take things at face value, and I'm glad I could share that with you, and that I'm not alone.

For those who would have flamed me and have reblogged with some real.....inventive interpretations of things i NEVER said *snorts*

You guys have got some really developed imaginations.

;p