warnings: mentions of heartbreak and grieving // sexual harassment in the workplace (PS. that's not cool nor cute, okay? be a decent human being and learn respect + consent.)
(a/n: this is my first official fanfic that I finally had the courage to post, regardless, I'm still terrified as hell. comments and critiques are welcome but please be kind, I am new at this.)
*shameless plug: i do post on a semi-regular basis some moodboards. in time, I will be more organized and will create a masterlist. God knows when that'll be.*
You have always had vivid dreams. It always felt so real and you would remember them in detail once you woke up and you would relay your adventures to your parents as they listened attentively to every word.
And then the night you turned 13 came and your dreams somehow became different. At one point you became aware that you could control some aspects of your dreams and although you had some power over them, there was an overall tone to it which felt familiar and comforting. But that night was different. Although you still felt like this dream was yours, something felt off. And then you saw him. A boy probably around your age, with beautiful black eyes, a crooked smile and a dimple on his chin. This was the first time you dreamt of a person, so a part of you was apprehensive but you slowly shook that off as he waved a friendly hello to you like it wasn't the first time you met.
"Hi." The boy said, never losing the smile on his face.
"This is weird, right?" He stated, almost as if he read your mind.
"You don't talk much, do you?" He asked curiously.
"Why should you be sorry? I think you're a smart one, saving all that energy for doing something more worthwhile." He said while crossing his arms and plopping down to sit. You panicked because you didn't even dream of creating a chair but before he could hit the ground, a chair popped up.
"I think... I could be wrong, but I think this is my dream too. My name is Bin, nice to meet you."
That dream was the beginning of many dreams to come. There were hardly any nights which you didn't dream with him and you welcomed his visit every single time.
Although it wasn't clear to you why this was happening, you didn't question it. There were times though that you were the one who came to his dreams and even if it felt different, it still felt familiar. He described it one day as your dreams smelled fruity and sweet; and his smelled clean, like soap. You giggled at his description but you still sniffed the air, hoping to catch the difference too.
Over time, you two created an unlikely friendship. You slowly opened up to him and he was pretty smug that you were finally starting to be as talkative as him. You were an only child, your parents were protective, you grew up to be shy. He was the eldest son among four brothers so it came as no surprise to you the wisdom he carried despite his age and you reveled in the carefree nature he held himself with when he was with you. There were so much more to ask, so much more you wanted to learn from each other but you quickly realized that there were some information you cannot tell each other within your dreams.
You only knew each other's first name and age and that was it.
"You're late today." He said as he questioningly looked at you while sitting down on a table overlooking the countryside. He was dressed impeccable as always and he still had that crooked smile which you looked forward seeing every single night.
"Thank you." You said as you gestured to the surrounding. He knows your favorite sceneries and he has made it a point to set his dreams to those when you visited.
"What happened?" He asked as he saw the pointed look across your face.
"Bin, remember that jerk of a team member I was talking to you about? The one who keeps being inappropriate? Today he touched me. His hand grazed my behind and when I snapped at him, he said it was an accident and that I was overreacting. How can that be an accident? I'm this close to turning in my resignation if only my team doesn't need me right now..."
As quick as the blink of an eye, the surroundings changed into a night sky filled with stars and instead of chairs, there was now a blanket big enough to lie on. He laid there as comfortably as he could and he tapped the space next to him.
As you laid in his arms, basking in his warmth, you remembered the times you both blurred the lines between friendship and something more. Nothing indecent happened in these dreams, the most extreme you ever did was when you kissed him on the cheek and his entire dream just turned into a deep red nothingness. But the way he was always there for you made you rethink those times and again wished that something existed outside these realms.
"I wish I could just show up to your office one day and call you mine." As soon as he said that, a shooting star zipped through the sky. You inched closer to him and wished that this warmth, this feeling, this moment will one day become your reality.
"Back then, I thought this was a gift. Being aware of your dreams, controlling them, and then seeing you one day in that meadow... I thought I was dreaming within my dream." He held your hand tighter, you were now in an afternoon walk by the beach. "For years now, I kept thinking this was a curse. I can't be with you out there like this. I desperately want to. Especially right now. I feel helpless not being able to protect you. How much more of this before I suddenly stop seeing you in my dreams?"
You just walked in silence beside him. You have longed to be with him too but with just each other's first names, there wasn't much to go on. There were times you wanted the dreams more than the reality and although he scolded you for thinking that, there was a look in his eyes which tells that he sometimes wishes for it too.
"It's almost time to wake up." He said before slowly letting your hand go. "I'll see you later okay?"
You sadly nodded. He noticed it because you saw his smile slipping off his lips.
"No, Bin. This isn't enough..."
Before you could say anything else, he wrapped you in a tight embrace. He felt the tears dripping on his shirt and he choked back his own sadness before saying, "I know."
As the days passed on, that night was soon forgotten. During your waking times, you worked harder than anyone while still evading the lustful stares and jokes of the creep who won't leave you alone no matter how many times he had been reported to HR and during the night, you dreamed sweet dreams with Bin, grateful for the times you have together.
One particular night shifted something in your relationship though. For some reason, it was midday. You were overlooking a river and he was standing there, waving to you.
"Why's the sun up? It's hot."
"I know but I have something important to say and I can't be swayed right now. I have to focus and the heat will help."
"Yeah?" You asked, raising an eyebrow in annoyance.
"Didn't you wonder why we keep seeing each other in our dreams? It's always us. No other people, just you and me."
"Weren't we past that point Bin? We've seen each other for almost 11 years now. Maybe it's a glitch. I dunno. We didn't think about it."
"A friend of a friend of mine got married last week. They weren't together for a long time so my friend got curious why they got married so soon. That friend told my friend that for as long as they could remember, they have dreamt of their partner and then one day, as if by fate, they finally met."
"Y/N, they were soulmates."
"So... you and I...? We're soulmates? Is that what you're saying?"
"And we can meet each other outside of our dreams?"
He ecstatically nodded and you immediately rushed in his arms, heart filled with joy and hope.
That hope was squashed though when one night you didn't dream. You thought to yourself that this is a possibility you and Bin had talked about so you shrugged it off. But that one night turned into one more night until you haven't dreamt of him for two months.
You keep denying the truth that this was happening, not when you finally realized that you were meant to be together in your dreams and in your reality. And in the moments you accepted the truth, you grieved like half of your soul got ripped out of your body. You zoned out most of your waking days and you cried yourself to sleep. Your parents eventually got worried about you so they successfully persuaded you to move back to their place. Some nights, you would wail in your sleep. Heartbroken, your parents would rush to you and you held on to them like they were air itself. They no longer asked questions now, you would start sobbing uncontrollably once you began and they preferred silence than the endless cries of their only child.
The weekdays and weekends blurred themselves together now. Although you no longer cried, you weren't exactly happy. You've tried to search for him again but with not much to go on, you were back at square one.
You were supposed to be soulmates but it felt as if fate was against you being together, now even in dreams.
"7th floor please." A voice behind you on the elevator said. You were swamped with work so you just pressed the button and went on to typing furiously at your phone, desperate to catch up on any backlog.
As you entered your department, there was a different buzz in the air. The female employees especially were almost shamelessly gossiping amongst themselves and you even caught a couple of them touching up their already made faces.
"Was there something I missed that everybody seems to be excited by?" You asked in a firm enough voice which settled everyone back down. You were supposed to go to your office when the face you despised the most came up to you this early in your day.
"Miss Y/L/N, I've placed a marketing proposal for next month's event. Do you need me to run it by you in your office sometime today?" He asked as he scanned you head to toe.
"I think Miss Y/L/N is competent enough to understand your project. If she needs further explanations, then your proposal is not very good is it?"
A voice boomed behind you. The same voice on that elevator. The same voice you've heard for 11 years.
It took all of your self-restraint to not jump him in that moment.
"I'd like to talk to you in your office Miss Y/L/N."
Is it him? It is him, isn't it? You kept questioning your sanity and your eyesight over and over again until you finally reached your office, locked the doors and closed the blinds.
He rushed towards you first. Lips on your lips, each trying to match the longing and hunger for each other. How many times he had moaned and called your full name, you had lost count and when you finally let go to catch your breath, you finally felt whole again.
"I panicked when I stopped dreaming with you." He said, still in the confines of your office, hands entwined. "I thought I overstepped a boundary or something. I might've done something wrong. The worst was thinking it's only one night."
"I think I know what you mean. Those days were beyond unbearable. It felt like something in me died and there was a gaping hole in my chest and I...I was so scared. I thought I'll never see you again." You said, your free hand gently brushing against his cheek. It felt liberating to finally touch him like this, in the flesh and not just a dream.
"I'm sorry. I would've gone to you sooner but there wasn't much to go on, was there? Our dreams which linked us made that impossible to do."
"No... No. Don't be sorry. But. How are you here now though?" You asked while running your hand along his hair. Everything felt so surreal and you were not even dreaming.
"You were closer than I thought. I got a call from my father, he told me to overlook this company in the suburbs he has. I flew here as soon as possible. I was eager to drown in work. Those three months broke me and I guess that's what motivated dad to give me this much of a responsibility. I just perused the names of the department heads today. I saw your name and picture." He said, kissing the back of your hand and then grinning in amusement. "You ignored me at the elevator."
You dropped his hand and swatted his arm. "I was swamped, okay? I hardly functioned so I was overloaded with work. I should've dressed better today if I had known..."
"No, no. You look perfect already. I would've lost control if we weren't at work. Speaking of work, guess that bastard's got to find a new one. How dare he kept trying to get it on my girlfriend?"
"Oh. So I'm your girlfriend now?"
He was going to respond but was interrupted by a knock which you naturally responded to. It was the longest minute of your life. The employee kept looking at the both of you weird so you looked forward to locking the door again and as you intently looked at him, you saw it. A tiny smudge of lipstick which matched your own.
"Wipes! My lipstick was supposed to be smudge-proof. Apparently not! God! My team will be buzzing right now."
"Is it that bad to be dating your boss?"
He leaned towards you and gave you a tiny peck before saying, "My name on your lips might be my favorite sound now."
"I think dream Moonbin is better. He's not much of a flirt over there."
"I'll pick you up after work." He smiled before he left your office. There's surely some more questions you two would discuss, some questions to be thrown by your team. That's all for later you to think about. For now, you smiled back at him, eyes filled with love and heart full of joy.
