#monte python

🎶He was not in the least bit scared

To be mashed into a pulp

Or to have his eyes gouged out

And his elbows broken

To have his kneecaps split

And his body burned away

And his limbs all hacked and mangled

Brave Sir Geraaalt🎶

*Geralt’s eye begins to twitch and his lip starts to curl as he walks next to him leading Roach*

Jaskier, oblivious to the warning growls:

🎶His head smashed in

And his heart cut out

And his liver removed

And his bowels unplugged

And his nostrils raped

And his bottom burnt off

And his penis—

Geralt : For fucks sake, Jaskier!

*silence that stretches all of 10 seconds*

Jaskier, with a lascivious grin: If you let me finish, I go on to say what a horribly unnecessary waste that would be, even by monster standards; and that I would never in a million years let such a travesty befall you...*smile widens*...much for my sake as yours...

Geralt: *rolls eyes*

Jaskier: *picks up the witcher’s left hand, absently thumbing a silver circlet around his third finger and a smile finally creeps onto Geralt’s face*

Also Jaskier, smiling with a soft adoration now whispers with mock sympathy: You said ‘yes’

.

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Old man tell another old man a pop culture reference and the other old man is not amused

Marc is a pop culture basterd while Anton is hecking old and understands every old timey insult

Currently fighting the fact that I want to strangle my abuser, which is really hard to resist since abuser works at the same place I do

I can't do violence about it since we work in a place where violence will be on our permanent record, which dwindles the chanes of getting another job