#monster studies

All of my life, I was in love with monsters; this is a fact."

I saw this shared around on Threads (why do I go there, I hate it) and commented on as 'this article is so good' and 'must read' including by a few people whose opinion I normally respect, and seeing as monsterfucking and monster everything is like a special little interest for me, I of course instantly clicked through to read it

and I have to say

what the everloving heterosexual fuck is this

two fat paragraphs about omegaverse that don't even mention its origins - I mean - I just - gaze upon this phrase, and despair:

During estrous, Omegas’ vaginas ooze with “slick,” responding to the Alpha’s intoxicating pheromonal perfume.

IT'S CALLED "SLICK" BECAUSE IT'S FROM SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES. THE REASON THE OMEGAS NEED SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES TO BEGIN WITH IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE VAGINAS.

I. have been rendered figuratively speechless. the straights don't know what slick is. the. i. how. how did we end up like this

their dicks swell at the base, creating a “knot,” which lodges them inextricably in the Omega’s slick-soaked (I am so sorry) vagina.

"(I am so sorry)" girl you're writing an article about monster smut and then you have the gall to be embarrassed by the this tame ass (or should i say vagina?) heterosexual omegaverse?

okay, okay. deep breaths. we've only just got started. we started by covering Morning Glory Milking Farm, a minotaur/human erotic romance novel, which well - I've read it, and it's not a bad book by any means, it was actually very very good, a solid story with a great cast and perfectly paced and satisfying romance and loads of sex - is very straight. it's just a minotaur. it's a big guy with a big dick. it's your standard gentle giant/normal sized girl romance. it's not very freaky, but you know, I don't blame the average reader for coming into this thinking this is some out there stuff. gotta start somewhere, right? we didn't all come up through draco/the giant squid crackfic in 2005, you know? and now we've covered Sarah J Maas and we're entering omegaverse territory, this is getting knottier now, right, freakier? this article is going somewhere, right?

you can imagine the intrigue, enemies-to-lovers, and other story lines involved as each captured female eventually finds the member of the barbarian tribe who is destined to worship and fuck the living daylights out of her for the rest of their lives. Oh, and their dicks have a sensitive spur on top designed for clitoral stimulation. It’s just as blue and velvety as the rest of their big alien bodies.

okay so the minotaurs aliens are blue now, i guess.

It seems, also, like the romance genre as a whole is being pushed by monster romance to make things in human-human books as freaky as possible.

ohh?? are we finally getting a proper freak on now??

This genre, “why choose?” or “MMF” (or sometimes even MMMF or MMFM), and also known as “reverse harem,” always features a heroine who is showered with sexual attention by men who are also sexually involved with each other.

having a thousand yard stare moment over here

this author seriously thinks that all these heterofied monster romance tropes are paving the way for the real freaky stuff that is, checks notes, "two hockey players fucking each other while the heroine calls the shots"

this author is positing that human queer erotica/romance are freakier than monster erotica/romance. like. she said that. with her whole chest. black on white.

on one hand a monster, an inhuman being, and on the other, a queer person, a human being. and apparently the real freak is not the minotaur or the blue alien. it is the queer human.

is this satire? it has to be, right?

because if it's not satire, this article is an entire case study in itself on the monstering* of queer people. stunning.

-Northern Hunter

Tips For Monster Hunters/Slayers in British Columbia:

Here are the creatures you must look out for upon entering Canada, or even just passing through North America.

The Ogopogo - The Ogopogo is mentioned of being a legendary lake monster, whom of which is said to inhabit Okanagan Lake, Canada. Descriptions of this slithering beast often depict it as a serpentine-like creature, sometimes reaching extreme lengths of up to 15 meters (49 feet). The creature is believed to have deep roots in Indigenous folklore, where it is known as Naitaka, a malevolent water demon that would demand sacrifices in return of safe passage across the lake.

The Sasquatch - Also known to many as Bigfoot and Wild-Man, the Sasquatch is perhaps one of the most famous cryptids in Northern America. There have been reported sightings of Sasquatch in British Columbia, Canada. In fact, there have been numerous sightings, that leave many enthusiasts and researchers actively investigating these claims. The British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club often conducts fieldwork to gather evidence and explore the existence of this elusive forest loving creature.

The Shuswaggi - The Shuswaggi cryptid is said to inhabit the beautiful Shuswap Lake, in Canada. It is often described as an extremely large, serpentine creature with a horse head. Some eyewitness accounts have reported seeing humps moving across the water's surface, these claims are a contributing factor to its legendary status.

The Wendigo - It is a creature based in and around the East Coast forests of Canada, The Great Plains region of the United States and Canada. The Wendigo is a malevolent spirit, that' cannibalism, plus black magic, equals a dark force that strips man of all that makes him human, and in the process turns him into a beast that's been described as looking humanoid. Nothing about it is quite right.

The Waheela - This cryptid is a legendary figure in North American folklore. It's described as being wolf-like. Or rather massive, wolf-like bear with supernatural traits and ties to the Nahanni Valley. The Waheela originates primarily from Native American and Inuit folklore. particularly among the Dene people of, Canada.

The Giant Spider Bat - This is a cryptid that has been subject of numerous sightings in, Canada. Eyewitnesses described it as looking similar to Moth-Man, if he was a spider that is. The Spider-Bat has small white fangs and white eyes. He stands about five feet tall, is quite muscular, but he remains hunched over and moving on his wings just as a bat does.

The Wechuge - Now, this cryptid is known to be in Alaska. But given your location is so goddamn close to Alaska, I figured I'd add the Wechuge here just in case. Similar to the Wendigo, the Wechuge is a cannibalistic beast, whom of which is humanoid in appearance, and incredibly good at hunting humans.

With Canada, there is so much more than I could cover. Truthfully, I didn't even cover all of what's in Canada, but it is a large landmass with rich folklore that is too much to put into one post! So, just do your best to stay safe out there, and never leave your home without being properly armed.

Like, I didn't realize the pattern until this morning, but:

[SPOILERS FOR VARIOUS BOOKS]

In LJ Smith's Vampire Diaries books, Elena is a human/angel hybrid

Similar, Katee Robert's protagonist Mina is an angel/vampire hybrid in Court of the Vampire Queen

In Caleb Roehrig's The Fell of Dark, the Vaddy (vampire dad) is a fallen angel possessing humans throughout time

In Romancelvania, the Van Helsing family is descended from angels (which is why their voices are bell noises)

And of course we have Caine flipping off angels and getting cursed in The Book of Nod.

What gives? Why? Is there some older text these stories are all drawing from? The only reason I can think of is if a writer's vampire lore is based in Christian mythology, the only other obvious ooglie booglie are angels.

An example from film is one called (captain) Jack Sparrow, not because he's a pirate, but because he is excluded by both main society and pirate society. He has a unique look that very few people understand or appreciate, and he knows it, he has learned to go around it even after his entire crew left him for dead. He is a threat to any established order in his universe and so he would be considered a monster by Foucault's standards. He even tells Barbosa "Me, I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest". He is playing with what Barbossa thinks of him, just to pull the rug from under his feet in the next line, when he shoots Barbossa right after the curse is lifted.

An example of telling people about the idea of society vs monstrosity is when he tells Will, who is smacked right in the middle of the normalcy spectrum, the 'what a man can do' speech:

"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept the fact that your father was a pirate and a good man, or you can't, but pirate is in your blood, boy, and you'll have to square with that someday. "

He is inavertedly talking about how he navigates the world as someone who has been twice marooned by society. His life as the outlier. As the monster.