#mod meme

Artificer: Ah, the Scientific Method. Step One: Fuck around. Step Two: Find out. Step Three: Record your results. Step Four: Confirm, or fuck around again.

Cleric: You need to eat healthier. Fighter: No. Cleric: The last person who didn't eat healthier after I told them to died. Fighter: Oh my gods. Cleric: In a fire storm. Fighter: That sounds unrelated. Cleric: I cast the fire storm. Do not disobey me.

Paladin: There are causes worth dying for. Rogue: No, there aren't! Because you've only got one life but you can pick up another five causes on any street corner! Paladin: Good grief, how can you live with a philosophy like that? Rogue: Continuously!

Paladin: I said don’t be seen! Artificer: [rigging up 300 pounds of explosives] no, you said leave no trace.

Wizard: A spy is giving away every one of our battle plans. Rogue: You look surprised, Sorcerer. Sorcerer: I certainly am. I didn’t realize we had any battle plans.

Bard: How did you get Rogue to co-operate with you? Warlock: I threatened to reveal their dark secret. Bard: Which is what? Warlock: I have no idea, I was bluffing, but it must be something horrible.