#mod bion

[gif of a seal on a beach moving its head back and forth with an open mouth. the white text below the seal states “seal of approval” ]

You are wonderful and valid and you are not alone.

Nonbinary chests are valid

Trans chests are valid

Not binding is valid

No one needs to bind to be valid

Nonbinary presentation is personal to the individual

No one should make you feel like you have to dress a specific way to be trans or nonbinary

Medical transition is a personal choice - not a requirement

Top surgery is a personal choice - not a requirement

There are infinite ways to be nonbinary

Trans and nonbinary parents are valid

Trans and nonbinary parents breastfeeding are valid

No matter how you chose to present your nonbinary self, you are valid. 

Underarm pillows! Chest muscles and arms can be fatigued after surgery. Besides the pain medications and a water bottle with a straw, I relied on little rectangle pillows so much. 

Silicone sheets

If someone is worried about scaring, silicone sheets can be helpful (though they shouldn’t be used until stitches are taken out)

Affirming texts/emails/notes

After surgery, I spent a few days in a haze of dysphoria and pain. My chest looked terrifying and I couldn’t really do anything. Having supporting notes really would’ve helped. 

Comfort food

I ate a lot of tiny toast squares and tea. Small simple snacks that can go down easy are really wonderful to have on hand, especially since taking medications without food can be harsh on the stomach. 

some resources:

https://www.thelingerieaddict.com/2015/03/trans-swimwear-part-two-trans-men.html

https://www.flavnt.com/bareskin-swim-top

https://gc2b.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/220434548-Can-I-swim-in-my-binder-

http://www.ftmguide.org/lockers.html#swimming

I’m a little confused about the ‘only work as a binder.’ 

Besides actual binders, sports bras could also potentially work. 

part 2: –> I won’t correct them that I’m nin-binary, I’m willing to agree to being called a girl, as my documents say. We don’t even have a gender-neutral pronoun (well we have a candidate, but trust me it’s a long way from being used openly by anyone - the binary language makes it aay too hard even on queer people themselves). I get this thought that while being a feminist I could even use my visible non-binariness and –>

Part 3: –> the fact that my society will always see me as a girl to push the fact that “girls can be anything”, but… It makes me doubt myself. Can I really call myself non-binary if I’m generally fine with being misgendered (in any form, tbh)? It feels the most comfortable, this term feels like home, I do have some dysphoria, but it feels like I’m betraying this identity by being fine with being seen as a gnc girl…

Yes, you are valid! You do not have to experience dysphoria to be trans. You do not have to experience dysphoria to be nonbinary. You do not have to suffer to be part of the LGBTQ2SIA+ community. 

You are valid, your gender experience is real, and your gender presentation is your own business. 

Being nonbinary does not require suffering and feeling miserable because of binary sex systems. 

[gif featuring a seal on a beach moving its head back and forth with an open mouth. the white text below the seal states “seal of approval” ]

I really like looking to Autostraddle and DapperQ for inspiration. 

Black jeans and a white button-up are classic! Here is how I might style the look:

Black (or red! or white, or skin-toned) sports bra/bralette.

Loose white short-sleeved (or long-sleeved and cuffed to the forearm) button-up that is unbuttoned slightly to reveal the collarbone/sternum. 

Black skinny/straight leg jeans. 

French-tuck the shirt and feature a cool belt/belt buckle.

Docs or some other cool boot in black to extend the visual length of your legs. 

Gold or silver accessories, like a watch or collar tips. 

To me, this is a blend of masculine and feminine, especially if the shirt is boxier and the shoes are boxy or broad. 

I think the next most common might be using M. though just an “M” may be masculine in non-english-speaking countries. Wiki offers “Ind” and “Misc” (as in individual and miscellaneous) which makes me think that “Per” (as in person) could also be a viable option. I think “Hu” could also work (as in human).

As for other titles or greetings, perhaps try: your honor, your excellence, dear comrade, trusted friend, lovely individual, esteemed guest, your grandest insert-name-here, etc. 

(uncle ask) He also says medical transition is akin to asking a doctor to attach a third limb to you, etc. He says humans are not meant to be this way, unless we could transition our entire DNA just the way that clownfish change sex. Anyway, in short he keeps insisting our bodies are our natural bodies, our gender matches our external genitals (and they should be fixed if intersex), but gender role is however, whatever we want. Male nurse, female soldier, man in dress, woman in tux, sure.

How does your uncle feel about pacemakers? Prosthetic limbs? Glasses? Contacts? Hearing aids? Mobility devices? Viagra? Antidepressants? Antianxiety medications? Thyroid medications? Blood pressure medications? Epi-pens? Dentists? Orthodontists? Lasik eye surgery? Eye cataract surgery? Appendectomies? 

We aren’t born with any of the things I listed above but many of them are necessary for accessible everyday living 

How humans are living now in the 21st Century would be beyond the imaginations of previous centuries. Are we intrinsically wrong since we have gone beyond what ‘nature’ intended for us?

Also, the medical ‘correction’ of intersex people is invasive and pervasive in our society. What is natural about mutilating a child based on an adult’s perception of how their junk should lie? Should we ‘correct’ people with red hair? Should we remove the palmaris longus, a tendon, due to it being a vestigial trait that no longer serves its purpose for gripping tree branches? 

Gender is a social construct, yes. That does not make it any less real. Money is a social construct yet we base years of our life on it. For those who want a medical transition, it is as vital as any other medical procedure. 

Using clippers/buzzers/razors are the easiest way to get short and clean cuts. 

However, with shears it should be possible to get some of the more shaggy styles, like a mullet, or bowl cut. Followers might know more as well, as I just do my own hair with haphazard clipper and scissor usage. 

Do you have a local LGBTQ+ resource/community center in your area? If so, they might have some resources about nearby lgbtq+ friendly hairstylists that can work with you to get specifically what you’re looking for. 

https://americanhaircuts.com/haircut-definitions