It was... unusual to say the least... A boat? A hut? A small island? The wreckage seemed to be a mix of the three, and it was immediately clear that even before the strange vessel had sunk to the ocean floor, it had been in some sort of violent collision, if the massive cracks and break alongside the hull were any indication. A few broken spears were tangled among the wreck as well, but... they were far too small to belong to any human.

So what-?

KNOCK KNOCK

The nearest monster, a cat-like creature with a scaly, whip-like tail and saber-like fangs, yowled and arched their back as the leaped away from the wreck as something deep inside started to move and shift. It let out a haunting hiss in warning, but the beams and bits of sail continued to move about.. And a little coconut with a face scrawled on a shaven part of its surface poked out of the rubble.

SLAP SLAP THUNK KNOCK

It struck its armor with mauve-colored hands, and tilted as it looked at the cat monster.

Seemed harmless enough. Cute, even.

Hackles lowered, the cat still growled as it started to stalk forward. Whatever this coconut thing was, it was alive, and would certainly make for a valuable snack, and the monster flexed its claws in anticipation.

Suddenly, the beams and splinters shifted again, and at least four dozen other faces emerged from the wreckage. The cat stopped in its tracks, baffled, and before it could take another step

"REEEEEEEE!"

The kakamora screeched defiantly, and grabbed the broken spears, or pulled out all manners of weaponry forged from sticks, stones and sea life. They jumped from the remains of their ship and charged at the monster. It yowled and scrabbled back, claws finding no purchase in the soft sand as it tried to turn about. Only by dumb luck was it able to finally right itself, and dash back into the undergrowth before the tiny pirates had reached it.

Several skid to a halt, and raised their weapons in triumph! ... But the rest kept running, straight into the wilderness. Almost immediately, confusion washed over the ranks... More stopped, some continued forward, and in the chattering chaos, at least one made it into the denser plantlife. Were they supposed to continue attacking? Were they supposed to fall back? Certainly didn’t seem like the organized and intricate coordination that most of the world had come to expect from them, but... they didn’t know what to do!

It was only when a blood-curdling shriek abruptly cut off by the crunch of a coconut shell from the shadows that snapped them all back to their senses. They huddled together, weapons pointed outward, until everything became calm once more.

The defensive ring disbanded, and the pirates looked to each other for some kind of answer. They’d never been that disorganized before... What happened? Usually the chief would give an order and-

... And there it clicked.

Their chief had been on the main boat, unconscious by one of their own darts during the collision. She wouldn’t have been able to do anything to rescue her crew members, and now she was miles away from them, with monsters, sea creatures and an entire ocean of water between them.

The kakamora slapped out panicked messages on their shells.

We have no chief!

Who will lead us?

How will we survive?

One with a seashell crown rapped his jawbone club over his neighbor to get everyone’s attention.

We must find a new chief! He announced, drumming on his head. A new chief to lead us and make us our own crew! One that can keep us safe around these monsters!

Nervous chattering rippled through the group, but ultimately they decided that he was right... But one problem... None of the pirates present knew the first thing about Lalotai...

No... They would need to search for a new leader... Someone who knew this strange new land like the back of their hand...

And if they didn’t want to end up like their fallen crewmate, they would need to find one fast.

---

Days? Weeks? Hard to tell as the time blurred in this sun-less, neon-dominated landscape. The pirates trudged along, dragging their weapons behind them, and practically suffocated with the heat, humidity and plantlife. Kakamora were evolved to handle life on boats... not trekking miles upon miles through dense jungle... but they were slowly starting to learn. They stayed close; never straying more than a few feet from multiple others, and they constantly had look-outs to warn the others of the first signs of trouble. A few of them had even started collecting small trinkets and ‘treasures’ to feel like proper pirates again.

But still, they were still nowhere near ready to tackle this place on their own; evident by the fact their group had shrunk by another half-dozen or so.

We should stop and rest...

Can’t rest... We need to keep going...

Those two messages kept getting knocked back and forth, regular enough that it almost formed a marching beat as they kept going forward. Why, if the creatures could actually sing, it might have made their trek a little easier. They could practically hear the melody in their heads...

...

Wait a minute... That wasn’t in their heads.

A few of the kakamora in the front of the group raised their hands out-of-sync, trying to get the rest of the group to stop. Sure enough, somewhere ahead of them, there was the unmistakable sound of someone... or something... singing in a tired, melancholy tone.

♪ “Shiny... I’m so shiny...” ♪

The smaller monsters looked at each other uncertainly... though this was the first thing they’d heard that wasn’t squawks, shrieks, screeches or grunts since they got here. The first sign of ANY kind intelligence in this gods-forsaken landscape. The uncertainty gave way to hope, and their nervous knocks clamored to a dull roar of anticipation.

The few at the front gave an excited cry, and the group rushed forward...

And almost bounced off of a large, bulbous eyestalk that lay in the clearing just beyond the trees.

The kakamora screamed, and the giant eye blinked as it swiveled to look at whatever had interrupted its owners singing.

“What the-!?” an almost deafening voice boomed out, and a few of the pirates fled back into cover while the rest stayed frozen stiff.

It was a monster, that much was painfully obvious, but one MUCH bigger than anything they’d seen so far. It appeared to be some sort of giant crab, blue-purple in color, and with a legspan of at least a hundred feet across. Hell, even the eye itself had to be three or four times taller than any of the pirates. The crab was upside down, locked in place on his back, and judging from the torn up terrain within his reach, he’d had been stuck that way for a while with no luck of righting himself.

A kakamora in a puffer fish hat tried to tap out a greeting, but the larger monster’s voice sent those hands to cover eardrums instead.

“Gods above, just PERFECT. Now the vermin have come crawling out of the woodwork,” the crab groaned. “Haven’t I suffered enough!?”

He struggled, trying to rock himself forward, and the ground below him shook from his efforts. More of the pirates fled for cover, but before they all disappeared, a few noticed something... unusual about this crab. As it leaned forward, they got a good look at his back...

And it was absolutely COVERED in gold.

Their eyes sparkled... A tempting hoard for such renowned thieves, even in such a place and as dire a situation. The enormous crustacean must have collected those treasures for millennia, scouring the place for every little bit of gold and shiny collectibles it had to offer!

Leaving no stone unturned.

Exploring... everything... hmm...

They exchanged looks... they were all clearly thinking the same thing, as impossible as it might be... But they were desperate.

The crab rolled back into place, covering up the treasure once more, and he fell limp with a melodramatic groan.

The kakamora reemerged from hiding, and they chattered and knocked quietly amongst themselves while stealing glances at the fallen monster...

And a plan slowly took form.

Afterall, the Kakmoras weren’t just pirates... No.

They were engineers... And though this very idea was crazy...

It just might work.

---

Over the next few weeks,the kakamora hovered around the fallen crab, and he was absolutely infuriated by their presence at first. They kept getting far too close for comfort, and over time, they started bringing all sorts of garbage around him... tree trunks, pillars of coral and stone, woven ropes from vines and coconut palm fibers... and no matter how often he roared or swatted at them, they just kept coming back. Eventually he had to grudgingly tolerate their existence.

The kakamora themselves were also becoming much more brave as they worked. There weren’t nearly as many monsters in this area, due, of course, to the giant crab, so they could venture out in smaller groups to get more work done. They’d even managed to build a camp, stock up on fruit and a few fish that had fallen from the sky, and built traps and harnesses to capture whatever small-ish monsters remained in the territory.

A kakmora with two bones tied to its head rode on top of a monster that looked like a chicken crossed with a lizard, and used it to push one final round boulder into place on top of the nearby geyser vent.

Perfection. Everything was in place.

THUNK THUNK KNOCK

The warning message rung out over the valley, and the workers scrambled to the safety of their camp. The bone-headed kakamora rode over to the crab’s head, and poked at the eyestalk with a large stick to get the crab’s attention.

He hissed as he woke up, and bared his teeth at the little coconut-wearing monster. “Rude,” he growled. “What do you want?”

The kakamora simply tilted his head, then gestured to the blocked vent on the hill in front of them.

The crab frowned. “A little late for that, genius...” he deadpanned.

The kakamora kept gesturing, but before the larger monster could piece everything together, the plan was already set into motion.

The ground rumbled, and suddenly the geyser erupted, sending hot water, steam and the large rock flying high into the air. It landed with a heavy crash, and started rolling towards, guided by barricades the pirates had built from coral and wood. It bounced around like a pinball before settling into a deep groove that sent it barreling straight toward a large ramp. It hit the ramp, and went flying in the air...

straight for the crab.

He screeched, and curled his limbs to try and protect his softer stomach, but there was no need. The rock landed perfectly as calculated, hitting the end of a large lever that had been wedged beside him, and with one sudden push, the startled monster was thrown forward.

The kakamora held their breath as he teetered in place, still baffled by what was going on. Of course the rock could only push the 800 ton chunk of muscle and chitin so far, even with the help of physics... but thankfully, just as gravity tried to claw him back down to earth, the crab got a sense of what had just happened, and with one desperate flail...

THUD

He fell forward, landing safely on his stomach.

The pirates cheered, screeching cries of victory that their hard work had paid off, and while the larger monster was still dazed and dizzy from the experience, they rushed forward in a coarse, hairy swarm and crawled onto his gold-laden shell.

“Wh... what.... Hey, get offa me!” The crab tried to stand, but atrophied legs were still clumsy from disuse after so long, and he wobbled as he tried to get up.

But the kakamora did not move. They continued to celebrate, surround by gold and wealth... their dreams come true! And yet, this was just the bonus.

Their real goal... the one they had worked so hard for...

They looked up at the crab’s face expectantly.

“... What the hell are you staring at me for?”

One started to thump rhythmically on its chest, and one by one, the other kakamora followed suit. The sound grew and grew with volume and intensity until the entire crew’s chanting echoed through the valley.

Far too creepy for the larger monster’s taste. “What are you doing? Stop that!”

... And they stopped. Immediately.

The crab blinked. He... hadn’t expected that to work so easily.

Were they... listening to him now?

He glanced down at some of the scattered treasures that had been knocked loose while he was upside down, and pointed at them with his claw.

“Uh... Pick those up?”

And without question, they did exactly that. The pirates shimmied back down his limbs and picked up everything remotely shiny they could find in the sand, and brought it back onto his shell before standing at attention once more.

Shock and confusion gave way to a sinister smirk, and the crab’s antennae perked forward in interest.

“Oh this is going to be fun~” he purred before chuckling to himself. You guys are going to do everything I say, hmm?”

They nodded, and pulled forth a makeshift headdress, not dissimilar from the one their old chief used to wear, and set it among the rest of the treasures.

“So you want me to be your leader? Only natural~ Who wouldn’t want to love and worship the King of Lalotai and serve his every wi-GAH!”

A dart had struck his eyestalk... He was going to be their leader but that didn’t mean they were gonna accept any nonsense. A kakamora subtly gave the one that had blown the dart a high five.

The larger monster grumbled, and tried to pick out the annoying irritant stuck in his armored skin as the stalk froze in an awkward position. “Fine, fine. We’ll work up to that... But I guess I do owe ya runts for getting me back upright. You can stick around... for now... But the instant you lot start irritating me, you’re GONE. Comprenez-vous?”

He was met with enthusiastic nods, and the pirates chattered and knocked happily on their shells, perfectly content with the arrangement.

Strange creatures, surely... Their new leader rolled his non-paralyzed eye, and after briefly stretching and getting reacquainted with his old legs, he marched off in search of something to eat.

In spite of the monster’s attitude, the kakamora were over the moon, and once more roared with cheers and victorious battlecries. They’d done it. They’d found a new chief. They found safety... treasure... their confidence... and even a new ‘boat’ all in one!

And all the while, they proved that they were capable of doing big things even in this giant-dominated world.

Now they could claim this new land as their own.

Now they would survive.

Mini Maui raised an eyebrow from his spot on his host’s forearm. It took Tamatoa a while to notice, but the living tattoo was giving him a pretty impressive 'mom glare.’

“Hey, he started it! … I think… But he got me last month! It’s my turn!”

Mini Maui rolled his eyes, and his shoulders bounced with a silent but good-natured chuckle. He’d been stuck in the middle of this little prank war between Maui and Tamatoa for decades now. It had started out small, with sarcastic comments and little jokes at the others’ expense, but then the rivalry started to grow as the two got more competitive… Hiding gross things in the other’s food, popping out and startling the other… at one point Tamatoa stole Maui’s hook and leaves while he was out swimming.

That had been an interesting party.

Mini Maui moved toward Maui’s hand for a better look at the crab’s handiwork as Tamatoa continued painting… A dab here, a smudge there… Almost done! If the crab could just get one… more…

Suddenly, the sleeping demigod was engulfed in a flash of blinding blue light. Tamatoa screeched in alarm and scrambled backwards, only barely avoiding a set of wickedly sharp claws that swiped past his eyestalks. Maui was gone, and in his place towered a sloth monster from Lalotai! The markings on its mask flashed underneath a tangled mass of brown and black fur, and a shuddering, creaky battlecry rattled from somewhere underneath as it lunged forward.

The little crab continued fleeing backwards, but in his panic, Tamatoa didn’t notice a dip behind him, and tumbled as he lost his footing. He landed on his back in the algae-covered sand with a muffled thud, legs flailing uselessly, and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn’t right himself in time.

The creature loomed over him, crashing its paws against the ground at Tamatoa’s sides, earning frightened yelps with each strike. It growled and lifted its mask to reveal rows of sharp teeth, and threads of drool dripped on the terrified crab’s face... It leaned in, ready to finish off its prey...

Then broke out into peals of laughter.

“Got ya!”

Tamatoa blinked, fear giving way to confusion before morphing into annoyance as he realized what just happened.

“It wasn’t funny, Maui!” Tamatoa scolded. “You scared me!”

“Seemed pretty funny to me, Crabcake.”

“I told you already, it’s TAMATOA!”

Maui just shrugged, and effortlessly flipped the crab back right-side-up with his foot. Tamatoa hissed and tried to pinch the demigod’s tendon, but as usual, Maui just sauntered out of reach, and with a light zap turned back into his default humanoid form.

“Come on, Crabcake, ya gotta admit I got ya good,” he went on with a twirl of his fish hook. “Your prank was good too... Not as great, of course... 7/10 tops, but next time maybe make sure I’m actually asleep before ya get started. Save ya the effort and embarrassment of bein’ out-pranked again.”

Tamatoa huffed and crossed his arms. “If you were awake the whole time, then why’d ya let me paint you in the first place?”

“Make ya think ya won,” He wiped a black smudge away from his cheek. “Plus, it made scaring you all the more rewarding.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“Love ya too, kid.” Maui grinned in the smuggest possible way, and knelt down. “Here, let me help ya clean that algae off of your shell.”

But Tamatoa skittered away from his hands. “Leave me alone.”

“Crabcake, I’m just trying ta-”

“I said leave me alone!” the crab spat, and stormed off into the nearby underbrush, leaving the demigod by himself on the beach.

Stars shined like crystals in the dark night sky as Maui hummed to himself in his hammock... another day of doing heroic deeds for the humans had come and gone, and the demigod was getting ready for some well-deserved Z’s...

... Or he would be if a certain tattoo wasn’t literally prickling in irritation on his chest.

“Are ya STILL not speaking to me?”

Mini Maui glared at his host, and with a silent snap of his fingers, a little representation of a sad Tamatoa appeared at his side. He picked up the little crab in his arms, though never broke eye-contact with his larger self.

Maui frowned. “Alright, look... that prank was over a week ago. Lil’ Crabcake’s gotten over it by now. He’s a tough little monster, he’ll be fine.”

Mini Maui didn’t seem convinced. He gave Mini Tama a few reassuring pats before setting him down on the clear skin beside him, and the little crab tattoo disappeared in a cartoonish cloud of smoke. Question marks popped up around Mini Maui as the tattoo pantomimed searching over the hills and trees of Maui’s other tattoos.

He gave Maui another pointed look; confident that his message had come across.

... That was true enough, actually... Maui hadn’t seen Tamatoa at all since that scare. He figured he was off doing his own... whatever crabs do during the day... but then again, Tamatoa almost always popped up again around during mealtimes, and Maui hadn’t seen chitin or antenna of him at all recently. He knew he wasn’t molting either, because he had just done a month or two ago...

He hoped the young monster was okay...

“Alright,” he huffed as he bounced up from his hammock. “If you’re so worried about ‘im, we’ll go find Crabcake. Happy?”

Mini Maui clearly saw through his host’s attempt to hide his true concerns about this, but nodded as he returned to his spot on Maui’s pectoral. The demigod himself grabbed his hook and hefted it onto his shoulder.

“Let’s see... if I were a crab,” he mumbled to himself, “where would I be?”

... ... ...

Well, simple enough to find out!

He tightened his grip, and in a flash of light, reappeared as a small monster crab himself. Maui didn’t use this form as much, so he took a moment to figure out the abilities this crab body had to offer, but almost immediately, his heightened senses caught a powerful odor lingering through the jungle.

His sensitive antennae twitched and recoiled... Whatever it was smelled awful, and his face twisted in disgust.

“Yeesh... Crabcakes can smell anything, can’t he?” Maui muttered, thankful that he couldn’t smell like this normally. “If a bug died anywhere on this entire island, I could probably smell it from here.”

A buzzing in his armor signified that Mini Maui was getting impatient.

“Right, right... Doesn’t matter right now... Gotta find the kid.”

And as much as he hated the idea, that smell was probably his best bet. Coconut crabs were scavengers, after all, and Tamatoa had never been different in that respect. Why, he could remember a time when-

His claw shot forward as Mini Maui invisibly tugged him toward the path.

“Alright! Alright! I’m going!“

Maui marched out into the thick brush, head high as his antennae bobbed and weaved to follow the scent. The light of his campfire slowly disappeared behind him as he delved further into the dark jungle, until only the light of the moon and the stars prevented him from bumping into trees and tripping over rocks.

He raised his hook-marked claw to his mouth. “Crabcakes!” Maui yelled out. “Come on, kid, where are ya?”

But there was no reply. He called out a few more times as he searched on, and the smell was growing stronger and stronger with each passing step.

Something felt off about all of this, but Maui pushed it to the back of his mind.

“If this is about scarin’ ya before, I didn’t mean to spook ya that bad, alright? Come back to camp.”

Still nothing... This was getting ridiculous... The island wasn’t that big in the first place, so where had the little guy run off to?

“I’m sorry alright? Is that what you’re looking for ya little-”

His foot suddenly struck against something buried in the sand, and as whatever it was shifted, the smell practically slapped Maui in the face. He gagged as he staggered backwards.

“Ugh... gross! Guess I found whatever reeks...” he commented to himself, and with another flash he was back in his humanoid form. Thankfully the smell wasn’t nearly as bad now, but whatever it was, it still felt like there was a rotting fish shoved up Maui’s nose.

Maui leaned down and pushed away more earth to get a closer look... but as more was cleared away, the demigod froze.

“... Wh... what?”

Shaky hands reached down and carefully removed the object... Maui gulped and his blood ran cold. He didn’t want to believe his eyes, but he recognized i immediately.

An all too familiar crab... limp and lifeless in Maui’s grip.

“Wh.. N-no!”

He tapped Tamatoa’s shell, gently at first, but more desperately as he went on, but there wasn’t a single flicker of movement throughout the monster’s body.

He spun it to face him, practically shouting now as he dropped to his knees. “Crabcake, wake up! You can’t be... I-I mean I just-... You’ve only been on your own a week!”

Still no response.

Maui barely even registered the smell anymore, even as it hung around him now like a fog. One phrase kept screaming at the front of his mind, even drowning out his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

‘This is your fault.’

“... Maui...”

Again, the demigod froze, though a shiver shot right up his spine as a quiet voice called out to him.

“Maaaaaaauuuuiiiiiii...”

He looked up, just as a glowing figure stepped out of the surrounding undergrowth... One that looked just like his fallen friend. It stared at Maui unblinking, and slowly shuffled forward with a single claw outstretched.

Maui screeched, and dropped the body as he tried to retreat, but his foot caught on an exposed root, and he landed backwards with a heavy thud. The demigod could only watch in horror as the ghost-like creature hoisted itself onto the his stomach. Maui couldn’t get himself to move, and as the little crab got closer to his face, he clenched his teeth and screwed his eyes shut.

A claw caressed his cheek, and the ghost leaned in toward Maui’s ear...

“... Got ya!”

Maui’s eyes flew back open, and the crab on his chest burst out into uproarious laughter as he tumbled back into the sand.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face!”

“Crabcake?” Maui blinked. “You’re alive!?”

“Of course I am!” Tamatoa smiled. “But I scared ya, didn’t I?”

A beat... A frown... then a furious growl.

“... KID, WHAT THE HELL!?”

Tamatoa yelped as Maui suddenly got up to his feet. The demigod’s cheeks burned bright maroon as he glared down at the monster.

“I thought you were DEAD!”

“But I wasn’t!” he smiled proudly. “I pranked you and you fell for it!”

“No! You crossed a line there! Ya nearly gave me a heart attack!”

The little crab frowned, tilting his head like a confused puppy as he took a tentative step back. “You... You scared me last time... how is this different?”

“Because I thought you had DIED! Can’t you see that!? You had me worried sick and I-”

Maui suddenly stopped as Tamatoa let out a weak whimper... Right... he was shouting at the equivalent of a small child, wasn’t he? ... Granted one that was over half a century old and covered in chitin, but Tamatoa was still a little kid.

He took a deep breath through his nose and folded his hands together.

“... Because I was worried about you, kid... I thought for a second there that I’d never see you again, and... And I thought it was my fault... If something ever really happened to you, I wouldn’t forgive myself.”

Tamatoa blinked, but said nothing, so Maui continued.

“It’s just different, okay? I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“... Okay...” Tamatoa mumbled, muffling an embarrassed chirp as he lowered himself into the sand.

Maui felt a sharp slap against his chest. Mini Maui frowned at him, tapping his foot in a clear sign of disappointment before he gestured back to Tamatoa.

The kid hadn’t meant to scare him THAT badly, after all... He thought he was just playing along... And in retrospect, he must’ve put a ton of work into it... Maui couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen the little monster put that much effort into anything.

...

The demigod sighed again. No use making him feel any worse about it. Maybe he could turn this around.

“... So how’d you do it?”

Tamatoa’s antennae perked back up. “What?”

“How’d you pull off the prank? You must’ve been planning this for a while.” Maui picked up the decoy crab and held it out. “Like this... Is this one of your old molts?”

Tamatoa nodded and tapped the decoy’s hollow face. “Yeah. I kept this one the last time I shed my armor.”

“But... it smells like death... You’ve dragged your old shells around before and they never smelled THIS bad!”

“Oh! Here, I’ll show you!” He reached inside the old shell and pulled out a much smaller and very dead surface crab. “Caught it earlier this week,” he chuckled as he tossed it up and caught it in his jaws. “Wanted to make sure it was extra rotten and stinky so you’d find it,” he explained through a full mouth.

Ugh... Monster table manners... Go figure...

“Alright,” Maui tossed the shell aside, “but what about the glowing? How’d you pull that off?”

“Easy!” The crab grabbed a nearby leaf and wiped his face. The green glow was smeared away, save for his natural bioluminescent markings, and he held out the leaf to Maui. “Remember that algae I tripped in after you jumped at me? Turns out it glows at night. Made me look like a ghost!”

Tamatoa was beaming again. He was so proud of himself for finally scaring Maui back... And the demigod had to admit he was impressed, even if it had scared him half to death. He took a deep breath, and managed a laugh as he pulled the crab in close and affectionately noogied his head with a single knuckle.

“Well, Tamatoa,” he smirked. “I think it’s safe to say you won that round. Now never do it again.”

The young monster’s eyes sparkled even as he swatted Maui’s hand away. “You used my name!”

“Yeah, yeah, but you’re still ‘Crabcake’ to me, kid... Speakin’ a which though, you must still be hungry... Can’t imagine that rotten crab tasted good.” He lifted Tamatoa onto his shoulder. “Let’s get you back to camp.”

“Mm-hmm!”

The little crab held on tightly, and rubbed his cheek against Maui’s as they wandered back to the clearing.

“Hey... If you think that was good, I can’t wait to show you my next prank!”