#mmart

this might be PRE-MUTATION ☢️ or POST- hmmm, hella debating at this point "which way to go"

if I'm going POST- mutation then I'm gonna need to add radiation burns and make her uglier since I already have those mutated daisies 🌼👄🌼

I MISS,, MYSTIC MESSMWGER

(tumblr isn't my main platform sorry ive been absent LOL)

So I wanted to do a devotional piece today for Apollo based on the conversation I had last night with @khaire-traveller about feeling like my art is too silly or not serious or fine enough to present to Apollo. I've been worried that the art I need to do needs to be finely crafted or serious, instead of what I normally draw.

"I think that Apollo is just so wonderful that if I'm not presenting art that has a purpose, a message, or thats intentional, I wouldn't be showing him my best, and I wouldn't want that."

This is the conversation I had while drawing with Apollo:

me: this pose doesn't look right, I think I should look up a reference Apollo: You don't need a reference, just keep drawing and draw fro the heart. me: This face doesn't look right, I don't think I like this Apollo: It doesn't need to be great, it doesn't even need to be good. It just needs to be. me: Well, I should at least draw you more traditional with nicer clothing Apollo: No, draw me simply. Plain. With a button up and pants. Nothing overly fancy. me: Okay, well at least I'll color it and maybe it will look better? Apollo: You should just use black and white. me: God, this is actually awful, the anatomy is all off, the clothing doesn't look right, the colors are weird- Apollo: Yes, it has many flaws, but we can fix them together later. This is enough.

Throughout the process, he kept pushing me out of my comfort zone, completely opposite of what I was originally afraid of with Apollo being upset with me for not drawing nice.

A message I felt during this that came from Apollo that are worth sharing:

"It doesn't need to be perfect, it doesn't even need to be good. It just needs to be."

And as I finished, I looked at it and was disappointed with the quality, wanting to critique certain things.

Apollo said: "We can learn from this piece together, but for now, let it be."

Its was very comforting for me to do this devotional exercise. I'm not a perfectionist by any means, I love making shitty and bad art, and I struggle with presenting non-serious or funny art to Apollo.

It was wild to me to think I was just speaking about not wanting to show silly or bad art to Apollo, only for him to truly sit with me as I drew something silly, drew something bad, and something devotional.

"si je voyais moi plus jeune, je me ferai un câlin pour lui"