#mm21

Going on holiday with yours and Masons family was something that happened every year now. You'd been together for 4 years and three times you have been on a big family holiday and you was already speaking about the next. You loved spending time with all your families together, and it helped that they all got on well.

It was beach day today, so all the adults claimed their sun lounges and all the kids had their inflatables and ran off to jump in the sea and build sandcastles in the hot sun.

You and Mason were on a sun lounge, you between his legs with your back pressed against his chest. Chatting about anything and laughing about everything.

"You guys are so good together still after theses four years." His mother said looking over at you two.

"Isn't everyone like this if they're in a couple? Its normal mom." He chuckled.

"Yeah but, you know, you guys are together all the time, it's nothing bad I find it adorable that you love each other so much and it really shows."

You smiled and looked back at Mason, leaving a small peck on his lips.

"Yeah, I try to show how much I love him all the time. It's not easy when he's always away." You stated, looking at his mom.

"Yeah, I bet. Makes it all the more sweeter when he returns after a while though."

"Oh definitely. Even though I always miss him like mad."

Mason chuckled behind you.

"Whats funny?" You turned to look at him.

"You miss me and admit it." He smiled.

"Shh. I'm going to swim." You got up.

"Race you there." He jumped up and started to run backwards towards the sea "Come on slow coach."

You huffed and turned to his mom, shaking your head and laughing, grabbing a float and starting to walk towards him.

"I'm so happy that they stuck together." His mom stated to yours.

"Yeah, ever since he's been in her life she honestly has never been as happy."

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déjà vu

/deɪʒɑː ˈvuː,French deʒa vy/

noun

a feeling of having already experienced the present situation.

She sat across from you at the dinner table, running her hands through his hair and sharing an inside joke with him by whispering in his ear, the pair of them giggling away. If looks could kill, she’d be dead. It wasn’t that you couldn’t stand to see your best friend happy. That’s all you wanted for him; you just couldn’t stand that he was happy with her, or that’s what he led everyone to believe, and not with you.

You couldn’t even say that she was a nice person. Because she wasn’t. She was spiteful and smug, evil if you will. She was pretty, but she was blatantly using him for his money and status. She didn’t know anything about him, not the way you did; mainly because she was so self absorbed she didn’t take the time to get to know him. You couldn’t understand what he saw in her, besides the looks. She talked down on him every chance she got, she controlled him. She had her say on everything. She had cheated on him before and he took her back. But out of everything you disliked about her, or rather hated about her, was that she was changing him. His character. Everything you had loved about him almost gone. Your best friend was disappearing right in front of you. And there was nothing you could do about it. It broke you inside. And despite all your protests about her to him, he ignored it, because he was blinded by the love he had for her.

Grabbing another piece of garlic bread out of the small woven bowl in the centre of the table, you took a bite rather aggressively and started chewing, eyeing them with frustration. They didn’t even notice. They were so caught up with each other. But someone that did take notice was one of your other friends and dinner guests at this current moment, Declan.

“Jesus, are you alright?” he asked, trying to contain his laugher. He knew how much you despised her, as did Mason for that matter. And they all knew the reason why despite you denying it every time. You were in love with him.

“Me? Yeah. Fine.” You lied, replying quite calmly on the outside but on the inside you were setting her on fire with your thoughts.

“Your eyes are practically staring into her soul.” he joked.

“Nope. Wrong. I’ve come to the conclusion she doesn’t have a soul. She can’t have one.” You stated, removing yourself from your seat at the table and making your way towards the bathroom. Declan nearly choked on his water, the glass hitting his front teeth.

“Oh my god you are ruthless.” was all he could come up with, breaking into a quiet laugh. And he was right, you were. But only towards her. Because she was horrible. Not just towards Mason, but to everyone, especially you. She knew what he meant to you and toyed with your emotions every chance she got. She looked down on you. She treated you like an alien. She made comments about you all the time and he just tolerated it. You hated being nasty, that wasn’t in your nature as a person. But you had had enough of her. And you were going to make it known, no matter the cost. If he was willing to throw away not only a friendship, but a real chance at a meaningful relationship with someone who begged to treat him right for someone who looked like Regina George and acted like Dolores Umbridge, then that was on him. Re-applying your lipstick in the hallway mirror and returning to reclaim your seat, you heard her draining voice reappear.

“Mase and I went on a bit of a road trip the other day. It was so lovely.” She chirped.

“Oh yeah? That sounds nice where did you go?” a friendly Ben Chilwell who was the other side of you asked.

“We went on a drive and did a bit of shopping mate.” Mason replied.

“Awh cute. See or get anything nice?” Declan’s girlfriend smiled. You rolled your eyes again. You really didn’t care about this conversation at all.

“I got this gorgeous dress. It’s a yellowish kind of colour. Mase bought it for me. I feel like Belle from Beauty and the Beast in it.” She boasted. You couldn’t help but vomit at the thought of it in your mind.

“Cruella De Vil in that horrible fur coat is probably a more accurate description.” You muttered under your breath.

“I’m sorry what was that Y/N?” She perked up.

“Oh, nothing.” You smiled smugly back at her.

“Have you got something to say?” She returned.

You shook your head, still smiling. Kill them with kindness your only thought at this current moment. Everyone began eating the homemade Spaghetti Bolognese Ben had prepared for you all. You heard her give a quick ‘whatever’ and she returned to Mason, the pair now talking about you silently. You felt a nudge from both Declan and Ben under the table, almost as if to say ‘nice one’ but reminding you to play nice.

“We went on a drive up to that seafront viewing spot lads. You know the one I’m talking about. Got ice cream, watched the sunset.” Mason revealed. Was he serious? That was supposed to be yours and his favourite place to go. And now not only were made aware that the lads knew about it, but he had brought her there. The place you shared your first kiss. The place Mason held you in his arms one night after you had broke down about your ex for doing the same thing she was doing on him? The place he had told you that no one would ever compare to you? The night he told you he loved you.

“Wow.” You remarked, pushing your plate of food in front of you and dropping your napkin beside you. Mason’s eyes watched you, knowing you were upset.

“What’s the problem now sweetheart?” She retorted.

“Why don’t ask your boyfriend.” You sighed. She didn’t even both to look at him, her eyes now fixated on you. She stood up in her seat, despite Mason telling her to leave it.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She explained.

“So when are you gonna tell her that we did that too? Many times. You know that was our place Mase. And all the things you said to me there.” You cried, holding back your tears as best you could. She was furious now.

“Excuse me?” She scoffed, now looking down at her boyfriend who’s heart was nearly pounding out of his chest.

“I- look that was a long time ago Y/N.” Mason insisted. “And it’s just a place it’s not that big of a deal.”

You couldn’t believe his words.

“Right. Of course.” You uttered. “You know I’m surprised you’re not getting deja vu with her. Deja vu about being with the person who actually loves you and would give anything to be with you.” You commented, your words cutting like a knife. Before you knew it, a plate of spaghetti was now thrown across at you. Scoffing back at her, you wiped your eyes to remove the sauce now blurring your vision. It was in your hair and all down your clothes. Everyone was in shock, the tension filling the air. He stayed silent. She snickered.

“You know what. This conversations over. I wish you two all the best. I’m done. Oh and by the way, Mark said you have a lovely home. Real cosy bed.” You sniffled, referring to your roommate she was still sleeping with. You left the room and made your way to the bathroom to clean yourself up. After ten minutes of fixing yourself, you turned off the light and made your way to grab your jacket. Saying goodbye to Ben at the door, not wanting to see anybody, you gave him a hug. Appearing in the hallway was Mason, who had looked to have been crying.

“I’ll give you two a minute. I’ll chat to you later Y/N.” Ben gave you a pat on the arm and began walking away.

“Okay, and I’m sorry again about tonight.” You told him. He simply gave a reassuring smile and returned to the kitchen.

Mason rested himself against the bottom of the stairs. An awkward silence filled the air, guilt and regret looming between you both. Staring down at your feet, eyes welling up again, you decided to open up.

“Mase I’m sorry ab-“ you began, but he cut you off.

“No, I’m sorry.” He stated. “For what she done. For what she said. For how she treats you. And for what I done. For how I’ve been treating you.” He whimpered. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“I just don’t understand why you’re with her. She cheated on you once and you took her back. But now she’s doing it again and you still stand by her? You see what she’s like Mase. She’s a monster. She’s turning you into a monster. Even the boys said it’s affecting your play on the pitch.”

“I know.” he whispered.

“And what? You’re just gonna sit back like nothings happening? You’re just gonna let her ruin you like that? Manipulate you? You’re worth so much more than that Mase. So much more than her.” you weeped.

“I know,” he yelled, sending shivers down your spine. “I know.” he repeated. “I’m not proud of it. I know I should have left sooner, but do you know how hard it is? How difficult it is to weed out the dead plants someone’s rooted within you?” he sobbed, now sliding down to the ground so that he was sitting with his hands on his knees. You hated seeing him like this.

“Oh Mase!” You said, walking towards him and sitting on your knees. “I’m sorry I know.” You took his head against your chest, both of you now exhausted from crying and arguing. “Shh it’s alright I forgive you. But what do you mean ‘left sooner’?” You asked softly.

“We broke up whilst you were in the bathroom. Everyone left to the kitchen so we could talk. I told her how immature that was of her to do what she did and she kicked off. Then I asked her about Mark and she told me it was true. After that I told her it was over and she left. So we’re over.” He admitted. You felt terrible but it was better he got away from that. Not just for your sake but for his own too. At the end of the day, he was still your best friend above all. Regardless of your feelings for him, you wanted to see him happy. Even if it wasn’t with you, but just with someone who treated him right.

You bit your lip before speaking again, knowing now probably wasn’t the right time to ask what you were about to ask. “Why didn’t you give me a chance? I mean, even before her? Do you only see me as a friend? It’s fine if you do but the least you could do is let me know.”

He looked up at you, his little eyes so saddened.

“No I-I don’t know Y/N. I should have given you a chance. I think I was just scared of ruining the friendship but being with her practically did make me do it anyways. I’m sorry, I do see you as more than a friend. I didn’t just tell you I loved you that night for no reason. It wasn’t just platonic. There was feelings behind it too. I just- I don’t know.” he replied.

You smiled and nodded reassuring him. You wanted to kiss him so badly but you realised he had to heal first. Now wasn’t the time nor the place. So instead of his lips, you kissed his forehead, letting him know everything was alright. Pulling away from just above his temple, you went to get up, but he tugged you straight back down beside him. Tucking a hair behind your ear, he gazed at you.

“Mase I think you should deal with the mess you’ve been through first before we try anything” you admitted to him.

“Maybe.” he whispered. “But for tonight can you just give me the chance to remember and feel what it’s supposed to be like?” he pleaded.

You nodded, letting him gently press his lips to yours, a wave of euphoria transmitting through your entire being.

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