Having a Little Who Was a Victim of Child Abuse Means...
National Child Abuse Hotline (USA, USA Territories, Canada)
Child Abuse Helpline (UK)
Database of Child Abuse Hotlines for Every Country
If you or someone you know are being abused by a parent or guardian, call your local emergency number or a child abuse hotline. It is never too late to get help. You deserve to be safe.
Learning ways to keep them distracted (if they still live with the abuser)
Encourage them to tell somebody (If the abuse is ongoing, encourage them to tell someone who is in a position to help like a doctor, a teacher, or a therapist. If it is something that has happened in the past do not tell friends or family without their explicit permission.)
Asking them how you can help
Reassuring them that they are safe now and that you will take care of them
Understanding that titles like “Mommy” or “Daddy” may be triggering and coming up with alternative names that they can call you
Making sure they know that you care about them
Understanding that they may regress as a way to make up for the childhood that was stolen from them
Reminding them that family is not who you are related to, it’s those you choose (Family is chosen)
Knowing what their triggers are and avoiding them as much as possible
Understanding that they may need constant reassurance
Reminding them that they did not deserve what happened to them
Understanding that trust and emotional openness might come about slowly for them because of the abuse
Knowing what conditions they may have due to the abuse (PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc.)
Understanding that they may be jumpy or skittish when regressed
Comforting them if they have a scary nightmare or get triggered
Being patient with them
Understanding that they may regress best alone
Not getting offended or angry if they flinch when you move. It’s a survival reflex, they know that you aren’t going to hurt you but their body does not. (Just like the mind, the body is able to store memories)
Never yelling or raising your voice at them (especially out of anger or frustration)
Understanding that they may be used to dealing with things alone, and encouraging them to come to you when they need help
Reassuring them that they are safe when they are with you
Understanding that even if they are an adult, they may be too afraid to stand up to their parent(s) (It is NOT your job to do this for them or pressure them into doing it)
Reminding them that you’re not going to leave them
Understanding that child abuse can be very complicated. We often feel obligated to “love” our parents or guardians, even if they have hurt us, because that is what we have been conditioned to do. Child abuse is a complex thing. Your little may be going off about how much they hate or resent their parent for what they did, and then in the same sentence talk about how their parent also did such nice things for them. Being abused by a parent creates many conflicting emotions within the victim and it may be confusing for you, but just know that this person hurt them deeply. Always always always encourage them to disclose the abuse to someone of authority if anything can still be done about it, and always encourage them to see a therapist who can help them safely cope with the fallout!
