Hate my microwave, it's so passive aggressive. If I put in 60 seconds and press start, it beeps smugly and changes it to 1:00 and doesn't go until I press start again and tacitly agree with its "correction". I said 60 you binch

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Hate my microwave, it's so passive aggressive. If I put in 60 seconds and press start, it beeps smugly and changes it to 1:00 and doesn't go until I press start again and tacitly agree with its "correction". I said 60 you binch

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Hey, quick question, who else here remembers MLIA?
I just want to feel something again, something good.
There are moments in your life when you realize how ridiculous your 30+ years of life have been.
I've just had one of those. Here it is:
Me: *rubs aching knee*
Colleague: Pain?
Me: yeah. Old injury telling me what the weather is. In case I missed it.
Colleague: Oh yeah? Sports?
Me: Uh. Circus. Knee bent the wrong way. Shit day, that was, really.
Colleague:... I'm sorry, what?
Me: ....I was ran over. By a clown car.
So when I moved back into my dorm I went to walmart with my parents and bought food, including peaches. Which led to this text:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
When you’re obsessed with Game of Thrones and autocorrect changes “Iron Throne” into “Iron Theon.”
a video of my principal playing the drums in a darth vader costume at our homecoming assembly
i love my school
Special thanks!
Special thanks go to the two strangers I didn't even get to shake hands with at the gym. You both pushed me to up my weight and do better. Thanks for keeping me from stagnating!