#mizitill

Till voice: I'm going to objectify my friend so hard, I forget she might have thoughts and opinions of her own

Will we acknowledge that "I know what you need" is a disgusting thing to say about anyone, let alone someone you haven't seen in years?

Till continues to objectify Mizi after getting over his crush. No longer being attracted to her means nothing when he assumes with full certainty that not only would she be okay with being his tool for recovery, but that she herself needs him just as much. He's daydreaming. He's going after this Mizi, the same Mizi that he clung to to ground himself back then.

The fact that he can't recognise her because she doesn't have her beautiful pink hair-- or really anything of her previous beauty left-- shows us that he is not looking for her, but instead his mental image of her.

His monologue about being family with 4nakt is self soothing. He has barely any friendship with Sua, an intense guilt for Ivan, and a saviour complex for Mizi that he developed when he first laid eyes on her. The fact that Mizi uses the word family to describe Ivan and Till in the Witch's Decision doesn't negate the fact that Till is forcing a role on her. Mizi's definition of family doesn't necessarily have to include processing their trauma together, she has a myriad of valid reasons not to want to do that in his presence, and she's clearly shown not to want it since she doesn't approach him when she can.

I think the fandom makes Till out to be weak because they usually compare him to Ivan (I do this too when I draw ivtiiv), but it is important to recognise that he isn't particularly physically weak at all. He is a young, relatively healthy for his living situation boy with a tendency for violence. The blond boy looking like him only *after* he hits Mizi is important

Also important to note that he does not go back to having any of his blond boy features after the fact. In all the subsequent panels, he is faceless, or we don't see him at all to show Mizi's face intead.

Back to Till's tendency for violence, we can safely say that he wasn't impacted by Mizi's verbal rejection, like, at all. Emotionally at least, he doesn't feel any different about it.

The stutter is typical of him when speaking with Mizi, as is displayed in the very beginning of that interaction. He's not particularly bothered by what she's saying at all. He's actually remarkably chill about it if this last panel is real to any capacity and not Mizi exaggerating the memory in her head and she's actually laughing at him, but I doubt it because of the formatting.

We know he's calm about this and not holding his emotions in, because we have already seen how Till behaves when he feels rejected by someone he wants the approval of. He gets violent immediately.

Mizi has EVERY REASON to believe that this will be Till's reaction to her too, not because she's emotionally intelligent enough to have catalogued Till's response to rejection in particular, but because she knows he's anger and violence prone in general.

All that to say, I do wish we more frequently saw how mizitill have this weird symbiotic watcher-watched relationship. On Till's watcher side, Till steadies his own mental health with her. He needs her. We know he needs something to ground himself with because every other pet of Urak's turns out with mental issues. As soon as he is confronted with a reality in which he can no longer watch her, he reacts with violence again. So in the end, he does end up reacting violently to Mizi removing herself from his sight (aka rejecting him from what he Truly wants from her), even though that wasn't her intention.

Side tangent, that suit he wears is probably his most masculine look in the whole series. Everything else he wears is pretty neutral, just looks masculine on him because he's a man lol. I like that about this scene a lot.

Right after his Mizi withdrawal symptoms of wreaking havoc, he goes right back to imagining her, again to stabilise his mental state.

Watching Mizi is the important part. Having her in his sight is what he wants out of her. We can see this because he confronts Ivan about hanging out with Mizi, and Ivan points out that Till wasn't hanging out with her in the first place. We know Till is genuinely pissed here, even though Ivan appears to (correctly) identify that it is misplaced. Also here is another example of Mizi being a direct witness to Till's violent outbursts and recognising their consistency.

Moving onto Mizi's perspective of the watched. Till is consistent evidence for her that, basically, men ain't shit. Till's existence as a failed male protector reinforces Mizi's relationship with Sua. By wanting to and failing to protect Mizi or save her from Alien Stage, he reinforces Mizi's self-reliant tendencies and loving for those who are weaker than her. Till being stronger than her becomes a threat rather than the protective role he wanted to assume, because he isn't strong enough to fend off their mutual enemy, he is only strong enough to exert power over her and his other friends.

Mizi thinks that she has used the affection of those around her to survive, but besides Sua's R1 sacrifice, Mizi has never been shown to actually use someone's affection for her for survival. We see her think this in KARMA too, but I do think that this scene from the KARMA MV is during the True Face comic and thus in Mizi's head, since True Face opens with Mizi weeping over Till's body, thinking he is dead, and toward the end of KARMA (after the screenshot below) she realises he isn't.

This idea of having used affection (AKA Till [and other boys]) was put into her mind by Blond, and then reinforced by Sua (in a way that lumps herself in with the boys), and probably reinforced by other boys as she moved forward, but we as the audience know 100% that Till is absolutely useless to her even if she had tried. And really, I don't think it's a full lack of trying either! I do think that, to an extent, she did check her available options out, check if Till was of use. She just only really did that in her head and never put it into any sort of action that could damage him. I really love Till's deathbed imagination sequence because, to me, it does show that Mizi has given up on thwarting Till's feelings for her.

This scene has an experimentally intimate air to it, like she's testing how far she can take the situation before he reacts in a way that will make her uncomfortable. As soon as Till steadies himself, squeezes his fist to restrain himself, she ups the situation.

Mizitill

Another collaboration :D

The second artist’s channel (rus): https://t.me/Teart990_mil0

Till barely remembered when it all started. Perhaps when he began to forget his sketchbook with pencils more and more often in class after class. Perhaps when he threw another finished album into a drawer, where a whole mountain was formed, and for weeks he forgot to buy a new one.

Among the endless classes at the academy, getting up at five in the morning to take two trains to classes at this very academy, the pain in his fingers from the ointment; the constant need to carry an endless amount of drawing supplies with him, as well as the pain in his eyes after hours of drawing still lifes, which forced him to start wearing glasses (from- for which his pocket expenses were cut off), - all this caused fatigue.

Fatigue accumulated.

Accumulated.

Apathy consumed him more and more. There were more and more comments about being late for classes. And with each passing day, getting out of bed gets harder, as does opening your eyes.

And on one of those days, his classmate from a drawing class took him out for lunch - Till wasn't listening to what he was saying, but it was unlikely that the reasons he listed were sincere - and sitting in the shade of a tree from the soaring sun, they somehow started talking about idols. Till had never been interested in this topic, so their "conversation" was more one-sided.

Till admitted that he was a bad conversationalist (which is why he only has friends online), and that's why he only has good acquaintances in life, not friends. But, he tried to keep up the conversation, hoping to break out of the all-consuming apathy.

And all this led to the conversation turning to watching clips of different idols, and exchanging opinions. Till thought he was doing a good job, considering that he understood the topic like a bear riding a bike.

The noodles were eaten, the already warm energy drink was finally able to drink, there were fifteen minutes left before the end of the break, and they all continued to watch the clips. Until Till had to pause the video.

"What, did you like her?" his friend asks condescendingly, and then laughs, seeing how Till's face is wrinkled. "Don't worry, I'm joking. Everyone in our group knows that you have an ace up your sleeve."

Till jokingly punches the guy in the shoulder, and taking out a blank sheet on a folder, points with a pencil at the phone. Then he turns on the clip to pause it again.

"This outfit doesn't suit her," Till says seriously, and starts sketching, feeling like she's leaning on his shoulder. “thanks.”

( cw age gap / pedo / forcefem )

mizi being absolutely hopeless when it comes to getting a girlfriend. she can’t risk asking a girl out and being rejected and possibly outed. so she does the most logical thing , and grooms the little boy she babysits into the perfect little girlfriend. till is so sweet and has a massive crush on mizi, always vying for her affection, making her little gifts and drawings.

mizi starts telling till things about how boys are so icky, that they grow up into evil men, and says that she loves him so much that she doesn’t want him to grow up into an evil man. and that if till were a girl, she could love him so much more.

till resists at first. he loves being a boy. he doesn’t understand. mizi keeps saying men do horrible things, but till doesn’t think he would ever do that. but mizi insists that it’s biological and that it’ll happen one day, and he’ll become cruel and hurt women. till is so distraught, he doesn’t want to hurt mizi ever. so he lets her treat him like a girl, even though it feels so wrong.