GIGGS DND SESSION 6
Sorry for how late this shit is. Believe me, I hate myself too.
Trickster Cleric :D Max is a Trickster Cleric (have i been over that yet?)
A Dragon Wormling is the Dragon they are facing. The houses are charmed, so the flames from the beast don't catch.
I think they lowkey stole an airship. Mister Wizard is saying random stuff about the ship. NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO FLY! WHAT'S A MIZZENMAST??? Brodude may be scared of heights.
Max rushes up the gangplank onto the ship. The others take Mister Wizard's ladder π
Max is very overwhelmed by this flying boat. Mister Wizard is overjoyed, so he's temporarily stunned. Ruby is used to casing places quickly, so she gets to work. Brodude's skill with technology leads him immediately to what makes the ship fly. Brodude wants ale and starts the ship while looking for it. Max rushes to get the anchor, and the ship takes off. Mister Wizard wants to drive. There is a chorus of NO's. Brodude takes over steering.
MAX HAS A HARDBOILED EGG?!?!? AND THEY'RE OLD! WHY THE FUCK! WHEN THE FUCK?!?! HE KEPT THAT IN HIS POCKET! WHY?????
Mister Wizard is trying so hard to cause issues. He wants Brodude to push the special button on his Great Axe.
Grian is going through it with his dice rn lmfaooooo.
Ok so Ruby gets nat 20 so she knows everything lol! Bro and Mister Wizard knows stories. Max knows nothing.
Brodude really wants ale. Mister Wizard wants Bro to push the button. Ruby takes a fire res potion and gives the other to Brodude. Mister Wizard casts Mage Armor on himself. They're all prepping for the fight.
Deep Shadow is still in the lead with 24 points. Desert Wind has 23 points. Oops All Bards and Rogues Gallery are tied with 22 points. Life's Little Ironbeards and Fortunes Folly have 21 points. The Cell Sword Duo have 20 points. And Deviled Egg have 16 points.
I love that Scar consistently doesn't know where his stuff is for roles bec same man same.
Ok! They begin the fight with the dragon!
Mister Wizard has a hand on the steering wheel π and the other holds his wand, and he fires magic missile!
Brodude is going to press the button on the Great Axe!
Max is causing a distraction with a duplicate!
THE BUTTON HAS BEEN PRESSED! I AM VERY CONFUSED ABT WHAT THE BUTTON DID! IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN! BASICALLY EVERYONE ELSE IS MOVING BUT THE BUTTON DRAGS BRO AND THE DRAGON DOWN! Explanation from Pix: The button manipulates space, so when u press the button, the axe becomes a fixed point in space. It takes a great effort to tear free from this fixed point.
Mister Wizard finding ways to be near to Max π₯° He slides his ladder over to where Max hides so he can climb up onto the deck with him π₯° my beloved Wizmax π₯°
Brodude is fucked π why does he constantly take so much damage π and ig apparently his Mom's name is Therina (???)
FUCK THE DECK IS ON FIRE AND BRODUDE HAS BEEN TOASTED
NO NO NO NO HOW ARE YOU HERE
FROM THE DRAGON'S FLAMES A TIEFLING APPEARS! IT'S FUCKING TORMENT!
WHAT! HE'S TELLING RUBY HE NEEDS TO WIN SO THAT THE FAE KING CAN'T GET THE KEY! WHICH MEANS HE'S PROBABLY WORKING FOR THE SCARY SHADOW LADY!
Grian wants to fight Torment because he has a great one-liner π and Scar immediately agrees and wants to use Magic hand to toss him over board (unfortunately does not work on things over 10lbs)
OH MY GOODNESS π RUBY QUESTIONS IF TORMENT COULD BE RIGHT! MAX SAYS HE LOOKS EVIL! RUBY SAYS HE LOOKS LIKE HER! MAX'S RESPONSE IS "EXACTLY!" ππππ
RUBY IS REALLY QUESTIONING WHETHER SHE WANTS TO GO BACK WITH TORMENT OR STAY WITH HER PARTY?!?!??! LIKE YEAH THE GROUP IS DUMBASSES BUT YOU'RE TRUSTING TORMENT RN?!?!? AFTER THE DEAL YOU JUST MADE WITH THE FAE KING! LIKE OH MY GOD WHAT!!!! YOU'RE ASKING FOR A CURSE!!
Max
I don't even
His one liner was pure ass
God I love whatever is wrong with this guy.
His one liner when the dragon dies is "All aboard the Blunder bus" kill him now pls
Mister Wizard: "...That's it? That's your one-liner?"
THE DEVILED EGGS RECEIVE 40 POINTS FOR KILLING THE DRAGON
Torment looks on in despair, and Max rushes to heal Brodude, and Mister Wizard turns the Great Axe off. Max casts create or destroy water to put the fire out on the ship.
Torment goes over to talk to Ruby. He says hi and let's Ruby know that the Key is more than symbolic, it's an artifact of power and the key will give them access to the citadel which may hide the well of magic to this city.
So that's why the Fae King and Raven Queen are both out for it. Ravens Queen wants to use it to get her body back (do we trust that?) And Fae King wants this for his own gain and power. Or so Torment says. Torment definitely believes what he's saying, but I am unsure of if it's the truth.
Ruby and her pack of morons. Max is playing patty cake with his duplicate π
They're just going to jump off the ship π
RUBY IS JUST GOING TO PICKPOCKET MISTER WIZARD π She steals a single, tear-drop earring containing a real tear drop of something.
Pix is loving the drama he's causing, evil dm/silly/affectionate
The Great Axe is now called the Immovable Axe
Max is inspecting the dragon, but he roles too low to pull anything. BUT MISTER WIZARD HAS A FUCKING CROWBAR π So Max gets something small, a small tooth (his dice hate his ass)
Feather Fall spell and backflip off the ship!!!!
THE TOURNAMENT IS OVER AAAH
Life's Little Ironbeards and The Deep Shadow both have 25 points. Rogues Gallery has 29 points. Fortune's Folly has 32 points. Oops All Bards has 33 points. The Cell Sword Duo has 37 points. Desert Wind has 43 points. And the Deviled Eggs win!!!
After they win, they go to an inn to rest. Max orders 1 kilogram of mashed potatoes immediately π . And ofc bec they're the winners, others in the inn buy them drinks to celebrate. (Max is carb maxing despite there being a feast for the winner laterπ). Brodude gets some ale, Ruby is drinking the finest wine (she's such a sweet little ladyπ), MISTER WIZARD TRIED TO FUCKING ORDER ROOT BEER. MISTER WIZARD BROUGHT HIS OWN ROOT BEER ππππ
Grian, I love how you characterize Max as this annoying, pompous little nuisance. I love him. I'm squeezing him like a stress toy.
Yay, Sir Alwin and Redmond came to congratulate them! Their team got 3rd place.
MAX SAYING HE'S MORE OF A LOVER THAN A FIGHTER! GOD I LOVE THIS STUPID FUCKING LOSER!
Ruby and Mister Wizard are suspicious of Sir Alwin and Redmond π the 2 guys who have been the nicest to their group ππ meanwhile they are dealing with fae lords and a mysterious tiefling! Luckily, Mister Wizard rolled high on perception, and it is confirmed that the two men are just being sweethearts.
Max. Please. Drown in your mashed potatoes. I love you so much. But no, Torment was not trying to steal ur horrible one-liner.
Ruby "you don't have to stick to deals" Nyx talking about breaking their deal with the fae king. GIRL YOU'RE ASKING TO BE CURSED!!!! YOU MADE THE DEAL! IT'S TOO LATE! IK MAX IS STUPID BUT BREAKING THIS DEAL IS ASKING FOR BAD NEWS! Ruby understandably trusts neither fae king nor raven queen. But trusting Torment isn't the best option either in my opinion.
Ok! Feast time! They get to meet the lord's and ladies, queen and prince (human), as well as the other participants of the tournament!
OK HOW EVERYONE DRESSES FOR THE FEAST!
Ruby: All black dress with a light blue sparkle to it. It has puffy sleeves, and it goes just below her knee.
Mister Wizard: Very ruffly with a big furry thing around his neck? Very long cloak that runs on the floor. And there's crystals on the ends of his cloak.
Max Blunder: Very ornate, filled with sequins that resemble the color scheme of a Malard Duck. All the way the floor. It's a shiny emerald green. Slight wings on the sleeves when he lifts his arms (never beating the avian allegations)
Bro dude: Giant iron chain necklace with an emblem made of iron hanging around his neck. It's the emblem of his keep.
Bro dude goes over to talk to the other dwarves aaaaw. Max immediately goes over to the Bards ofc, he has wine so like they're vibing. MISTER WIZARD BROUGHT THE FUCKING LADDER TO THE FEAST! Mister Wizard hands it the valet and tells them to take care of it π
Scar's camera is tweaking on Grian's pov. Keeps turning green.
Ruby looks for Torment, she rolls an 11, Torment doesn't appear to be at the feast, at least not yet. She goes up to some goblins (speaking their tongue) and asks them if they have seen Torment. She's chatting with the goblins ^^ then carries on wandering. A human approaches Ruby, Lord Dane of Umber, and he praises her for her win, asking her how she knows all her street skills. He winks after praising her for being so well trained in her skills, suspicious.
Max and the Bards are throwing food into eachothers mouths. It started with grapes and now they're throwing full chicken legs. Max tells the Bards to throw him a leg as he back flips. HE GOT 19! WOOOOO! THE BARDS LOVE IT!
Mister Wizard senses an elf, and hunts them down to flick their ears. He's such a little punk. I love him. HE ROLLED A 13 LMFAOO! Mister Wizard hides under a table after causing some mischief, an elf trying to find him.
Idris Ghost, the arch mage to the queen has entered! He wears bright blue robes! Fancy man! He watches the revelry rather than participates.
Chancler Florian Grayfish is a well dressed orc that enters next, and he heads for the food.
Max and the Bards have begun singing about the people who enter the room.
Abram Vanzant, merchants guild man from Dunderhill. He's a table noble man who walks in with a young tiefling girl, around Ruby's age, wearing a beautiful yellow dress.
OMG OBERON IS HERE! But he introduces himself as Ilana, Duke of Flowers?!?!? Fae magic is at work making sure people don't notice him much. He immediately goes up to Ruby and congratulates her. Max, please don't flaunt that u didn't need the fae kings help. He knows your full name. Bro dude confirms he is very drunk π and Max comes over to say hi. Oberon spots Mister Wizard hiding under the table. Mister Wizard has to make a run for it once he comes out from under the table tho bec the elf he flicked earlier gives chase. Max stop interrupting the King. Max really likes the Fae King and wants him to like him. PERSUASION HAS FAILED, HE GOT 3, SO THE FAE KING DISAGREES ON MAX'S LOVE FOR BLUNDERBUSS!
Oh. Oooooh. Oberon was watching their dragon fight. Sneaky sneaky fae.
Oberon luckily has saved Mister Wizard. The elf quickly abandoning the wizard to talk to someone else, probably out of fear of the king lol. Mister Wizard asks for money for the spyglass. Ruby buts in that the money goes to her (understandably, these men are going so off track π).
Oberon leaves to greet the other participants. NOW MISTER WIZARD BRINGS UP HOW THEY SHOULD HAVE QUESTIONED WHY OBERON WANTS THE KEY! Max goes back to the Bards to do back flips. Bro Dude goes back to drinking with the dwarves. And Ruby goes to look for the tiefling girl, Amity (I ship). Mister Wizard is back to running from the elf.
Aw Amity found Ruby! Oooooh, Amity doesn't know that Ruby and Torment may have some part in the fire at Amity's father's place. Amity's father is the human merchant. Amity's father (adoptive) approaches, introducing himself to Ruby. Aw the father is very sweet to Amity.
The human queen has arrived! Liaqua Andros! And her son, the Prince Regent, Martin Andros! The queen is black, with long curls in a light blue dress (WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN FANART OF HER SHE SOUNDS SO PRETTY). Her son walks arm in arm with her, also having long, dark hair and dressed in formal robes.
The Deviled Eggs are called to the front for their reward!!! The key! It's huge! It's gold covered in intricate designs, and covered with some light blue ribbons. There's also a massive bag of gold, 2k gold pieces.
Max grabs the key, Ruby collects the gold. The queen, prince and chancellor leave after the rewards are given.
Max immediately goes to take the key to Oberon. But Ruby and Bro immediately call to stop! Mister Wizard immediately agreed with Max π (#wizmaxxing). Ruby tries to steal it, but Max bats her off. Ooo Max is wondering if they should find what the key goes to before they hand it over. THEN HE SAYS HE SHOULD TALK IT OVER WITH OBERON! LMFAO! Ruby grabs his robes so he'll stop and listen.
Oh yeah I forgot Max hasn't talked to the group abt what he gets from the bargain.
APPARENTLY MISTER WIZARD HAD A DUCK NAMED LARRY AT ONE POINT π AND MAX KNOWS LARRY? WAS π WAS π !??!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO LARRY
OH MY GOD OBERON HAS APPEARED! HE'S BEEN LISTENING! He leans over Ruby, and he agrees to lead the way to what the key unlocks. Max follows with the key above his head, singing merrily. Fae magic causes the gaurds to not stop them.
Allergy king is wild Mister Wizard π€£π€£π€£
RUBY ROLES INSIGHT! SHE GOT A 15 π she can tell something is off but she isn't sure if it's Oberon. Like Oberon isn't innately sinister, but he's hiding something. So she asks him about what he'll do with the key. He says he'll show. She asks for words. He insists on the spectacle but also explains the well spring of magic. Oberon says he wants to use the magic to restore some of his kingdom, explaining he's been a ruler of ruins for too long. He says it's not a power grab, he just wants to restore his kingdom. Ruby makes another insight. She got 16 this time, and her confidence is growing in the king.
Max tries to get the King to sing with him but Oberon is resistant lol. Max and Ruby are both up in the front. Bro dude in the center, and Mister Wizard, hitting his head the whole way up the staircase they're on, is in the back.
Mister Wizard roles perception check with disadvantage BEC HE DECIDED TO ADD THAT HE WAS EATING A CINNAMON ROLE! SCAR π! The staircase is kind of uncanny, like magically formed and all apart of the same rock, and it's kind of labyrinth-y. They reach a chamber that feels wider than the towers of Myth Reach would really allow. When they step inside there's a sense of the proportions changing and their perception changing with it. The room seems to bend and stretch and it's proportions warp with the sheer magical force at it's center. "This room is like an oyster with a pearl at it's middle" - Pix. At the center is this thing, it is simultaneously a ball of light, a crystal and a doorway to somewhere else entirely.
When they walk through the room people get further or closer depending on how close to eachother they are.
Mister Wizard roles a 26 in Arcana and he can tell he has never seen anything like this crystal. It's of such power that you can barely believe it exists. It pulses with a pearlescent blue light. The key unlocks the power. Max asks what happens if he touches. Oberon says that's a bad idea. Max says he'll do it anyway. Oberon asks to do is work first. Max hands over the key with a "My King".
OMG THERES FOOTSTEPS ON THE STEPS BEHIND THEM! IT'S TORMENT! HE WAS PRETENDING TO BE THE LORD DANE OF UMBER! HE THROWS ASHES ON THE GROUND AND OUT FROM THE ASHES IS THE SPECTRAL IMAGE OF A WRAITHLIKE WOMAN! SHE SCREAMS AND REACHES OUT FOR OBERON. HER HAND GRABS OBERONS AND THEY BOTH PUSH THE KEY INTO PLACE. THE KAST THING THE PARTY SEES IS TORMENT SMILING.
THE WORLD WAS RIPPED APART?!?!?! WHAT!
The groups consciousness slowly comes back. And they look up at this nebula of color in the sky. They sky is both above and below. They stand on a small island looking up at towers and stone buildings. To their left is a town divided by a rushing river of magic. To their right is a deep abyss of craggy rocks. And in front of them is a city of tents and carts.
Behind them Gus the horse nuzzles Ruby's hand, hitched to Mister Wizard's wagon, alongside Kong the Donkey. Driving the wagon is a small elderly man with a straw hat, wrinkley features and kind eyes. His name is Gret. Apparently they have been unconscious for a while because the man had been waiting. He welcomes them to Paradox and says this will be home for a while.
Ruby and Max immediately argue abt whether the Queen or the King caused the world being torn apart.
OMG THIS WAS TRIGGERED BY SESSION 1 WHEN MISTER WIZARD SAID HE USED TO DRIVE CARTS IN THE WESTERN REGIONS OF PARADOX!
There's apparently a reason why Mister Wizard didn't join a magical academy and instead became a traveling wizard
