#mirror spock

And you better stop wasting our resources by being an idiot! 23rd fucking century and none of y'all can drink water and stay in the shade. You're an evolutionary disaster, that's what you are!

[Spock, being Vulcan in a world dominated by Terrans, is used to such mispronunciations. He is about to correct the Ensign on the pronunciation of his name, but when he approaches, he sees that the name was actually not referring to him, but to a spork with a face, a bowlcut and pointed ears painted on, and a tiny sash tied around its handle.]

I do not fully understand why you are referring to me with this inquiry. Regardless, perhaps the Empire's re-education methods would be helpful. Please, step into the agony booth as I prepare images of orange and purple to show you.

Spockulous [Adjective] That which is of a Spock-like quality. Example: "Her science skills were Spockulous."

He decides that he'll investigate more on Old Earth weaponry. Perhaps there are other solutions to the tribble crisis yet undiscovered.]

Spock, I want you to take care of the investigation personally. Find the sabotager, and bring them to me.

Regarding the credence rectifier, we only know what we can gather from its rather descriptive name and the intercepted communications. We will, sooner or later, find out in great detail what it does – hoping for a different result is only wishful thinking – but I intend on delaying that moment as much as it is feasible.

[Spock blocks the sender of this communication.]