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I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if this would annoy anyone.

My cousin is terrible with time and it’s been like this for years.

For example, when we go to the gym together I **walk 30–40 minutes** to get there. She **drives** and lives about **6 minutes away**, yet I’m nearly always the one waiting for her. Most of the time it’s 15–30 minutes, but there have been times I’ve been waiting for over an hour.

Then there was my birthday.

The day before I suggested we all just get the train to Bath because it’d be cheaper and we’d avoid traffic. She wanted to drive instead.

On the day she told me she’d pick me up at 2pm.

Then it changed to 3:30.

Then she said they were picking other people up first even though I live closer.

I didn’t actually get picked up until around 5pm.

When she apologised she blamed traffic, but traffic was literally the reason I wanted to leave at 2 in the first place.

It’s not just those two things either.

She’ll say things like:

“Let’s play in 20 minutes.”

or

“One sec.”

Then 20 minutes turns into an hour, or she never even comes online and even leaves her house and goes out.

At this point I honestly don’t believe any time she gives me because it’s almost never accurate.

I don’t expect people to be perfect. If you’re running late, fair enough.

But if you know you’re not going to make the time you gave someone, is it really that hard to send a quick message?

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (100% confidence)

Top comment: “NOR but idk if id cut her off. I think I would just stop relying on her when time is important. If you don’t want to be picked up 3 hours later than expected than maybe there’s another way to get to where you need to go.

I’m surprised it’s gone on this long, since you mentioned multiple friends being affected by this. I would think some of y’all could help plan around this.

Timeliness isn’t a strength of hers. If you still love and respect her otherwise, then know this is a weakness and find ways to support (obviously you can’t much help that you’re not able to drive) your relationship.”

Notable comment: “NOR. But I don’t think you should cut her off.

I get why you want to go there. when it feels like we pour all our love into someone, they can really hurt us when they don’t show us the same love.

I’d have a talk with her, with exactly the points you shared with us.

Then I’d set some boundaries:

1. You’re not building plans around her, especially not important days like your bday —

That’s what you’ll tell her. Outside of that, I think you should distance yourself from her as it seems like you care a lot more about her than she does for you.

\- don’t answer her calls all the time \- try to focus on other friendships and it seems like you rely on her a bit for a social life \- don’t always be the one texting her to hang out, see if she ever messages you”

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