“Oh my god these were all people who died and inherently affected the lives around them and it forces you to think about the impact of their death-“

I could instead have some food, take a nap, do my chores, call a friend, be attentive to the connection people around me offer, take a walk, write something or listen to happy music. some mix of that usually helps me get into a better mood, even if it feels like a lot in that moment. I don't owe my demotivation anything, it does not always serve a bigger purpose that I need to uncover. This change of mentality is really hard for me but at some point of healing the solution can be as simple as: do a nice thing for yourself, even if you don't feel like it right now.