#minshan

Su She: Zong--

Xichen: DONT YOU DARE TOUCH MY MAN.

Yao: *embarrassed* Er ge. Please.

Sword spirits: *chatting and eating*

Jiangzai: believe me guys. The evidence is there. Come on, can you take me seriously!!

Look. I wrote it down!

Nanping: Jiangzai, you're not a vampire.

Hensheng: right!

Jiangzai: a sword spirit can be a vampire ok!! Anything is possible in the cultivation world. 

Then why do I like the taste of bl00d?

Nanping: when Mr. Xue uses you to stab, bl00d maybe got in your mouth. And now you're accustomed to the taste.

Jiangzai: *folds arms* I'm a vampire.

Hensheng and Nanping: *sighs* fine!

Nanping: but we got bl00d on us before. Why aren't we vampires?

Jiangzai: cuz you're not cool enough.

Nanping: *rolls eyes*

Hensheng: when I get bl00d on me, master would clean me gently. Heehee. Him and his tiny hands. It would tickle a bit.

Nanping: same. But then master Su would just wet me with cold river water.

I like it, but I wish that the water was more warm.

Hensheng: lol.

Jiangzai: xue yang would rub me with a random rag until I'm spotless again.

You won't understand my vampire stuff.

Nanping: can I punch a sword spirit?

Hensheng: it's just a phase.

Jiangzai: IT'S NOT!!!!

Jiangzai: Anyways xue yang is so cool! I love accompanying him!

Hensheng: aww.

Nanping: why are you calling him by his name?! Don't you have respect.

Jiangzai: the guy doesn't want me to call him master! So, i said, ok dude. I won't call you that.

He says that he wants to sound cool.

Hensheng: *laughing* he wants to sound cool? So respect is outdated?

Anyways.

I go wherever master goes. I love to wrap around his slender waiste. And then bathe in revenge!

Nanping: lol, you were soft a while ago. But now you're sharp?

Hensheng: duhhh!!!

Jiangzai: I like when Shengsheng is chaotic.

Nanping: hmmm.

I also love to hang out with master Su.

That first sword of his would be so jealous!

(He lost his first sword in Xuanwu cave~~ I think)

Hensheng: yea, you do look good with your master Su.

Nanping: aw thank you.

Jiangzai: guys, I have a question.

Hensheng: let me guess. Would another sword spirit become a vampire if you bite them.

Jiangzai: lol, that was one of my questions.

But I was going to ask, who's older.

Hensheng: me!

Nanping: right! Shengsheng jiejie is older.

Jiangzai: why does she get to be older?!

I want to be the cool older brother!! Who's a vampire!

Hensheng: you can be the younger vampire brother *laughing*

Nanping: ahahaha good one Jiejie!

Hensheng: and technically I stop you two from fighting! That's the duty of an older sibling.

Jiangzai: *pout*

You do have a point. I would have strangled Nanping if it wasn't for you.

Nanping: how can you strangle an immortal?

You're dumb.

Jiangzai: but I'm still compelled to do it!

Hensheng: do you all agree with me being the elder sibling?

Nanping, do you--??

Nanping: No no. That's really stressful!!

I can't have that Jiangzai as a younger brother! And I'll be too overprotective towards my meimei!

Especially how she has a crush on Shuoyue AND Liebing.

Hensheng: I don't know who to choose. They're soo cute.

Nanping: why do you have a crush on those cold, icy, cringy Lan weapons for??

Hensheng: Liebing isn't cold and icy. He's a poet and a singer. And Shuoyue is just calm, sexy and composed.

I love them both.

Jiangzai: sexy?

Hensheng: I said calm and composed, Jiangzai!

Jiangzai: what will you do if Shuoyue stabs Jiggy?

Hensheng: then I will hate him. And never forgive him. But I'll be very heartbroken.

Nanping: I thought you had a crush on your master.

Hensheng: yea he's my life and reason to thrive. But I'm not worthy of having such a lowly thing as a crush on him. What I have is more supreme than a  crush.

Nanping: awwwwww.

Jiangzai: simp!

Hensheng: Jiangzai you're a lot like your master.

Jiangzai: yea! But younger. And more handsome.

Nanping: anyways where are the masters though?

Jiangzai: who knows where xue yang is. He can be in Korea by now.

Hensheng: what is he doing there?

Jiangzai: being xue yang.

Nanping: lol!

Hensheng: but speaking of them, I'm missing lianfang zun.

Nanping: ah I just remembered that we can track them, as our physical sword form is with them.

Jiangzai: oho you have now realized. Why are you so slow!

Nanping: then why didn't you suggest it at first!

Jiangzai: cuz......

........I didn't want to.

Hensheng: lol guys, stop bickering.

Nanping and others: *closed eyes*

*opens again*

Nanping: they're coming.

Hensheng: I'm going to prepare refreshments for him *smile* and I'll ask Qin Shixiong to come, if he wishes to play the guqin.

Jiangzai: Who's Qin shixiong now?! I do I have to be the younger sibling! I want to boss around people!

Hensheng: *giggle* that's my master's guqin. He used to live in Gusu, but then Zewu Jun gifted it to lianfang zun.

Nanping: Gusu, why?! Anyways, master Su got his guqin from Gusu.

Jiangzai are we going to tidy up for them?

Jiangzai: I'm allergic to work.

But I rather fight someone! Let's go fight!

Nanping: No.

Jiangzai: Jiejie!! I want fight opportunity.

Hensheng: not now, xiao Zai. And your Mr. xue might give you fight opportunity.

Jiangzai: that's right!

Hensheng: anyways. I hope my master let's me give him a  shoulder massage.

Nanping: oh Shengsheng. You're really in a gaze for him.

Hensheng: yea. I love him. And won't hesitate stabbing anyone for him.

Jiangzai: I hope xue yang gently throws me on the floor.

Nanping: oh no.

Jiangzai: the guy would just drop me.

Hensheng: does it hurt??

Jiangzai: no! But it feels good! I feel so charged!

Hensheng: good for you.

~~ some hours later~~

Su she: Nanping spirit, you're here!

Nanping: greetings.

Su she: how are you?!

Nanping: satisfied for now. Take a seat.

Xue yang: plotting against us?

Jiangzai: yea we are, but you walked in.

Xue yang: you mischievous little sword spirit.

Jiangzai: learnt it from you!

Yao: *smile* Hensheng.

Hensheng: *happy clinging on to his arm* Master! Come, I made tea and tangyuan for you. And about ten other dishes.

Yao: aw that's lovely. You didn't need to go through all of that.

Hensheng: it's ok. *dragging him gently* now come come come come. Sit here.

Jiangzai: your master isn't a baby, Shengsheng.

Hensheng: shut up.

Hensheng: how was your day?

Yao: it was fine.

Hensheng: any insults?!

Yao: no.

Hensheng: ok then. *serves him* here's your tea. It's cherry blossom. 

Yao: thank you.

Hensheng: *massaging arm* enjoying?

Yao: certainly. *pats head lovingly*

Nanping: master Su. Jiangzai gets on my nerves, lol.

Su she: ah he's like xue yang.

Xue yang: that's not true!!

Jiangzai: I'm his role model.

Xue yang: since when!

Nanping: he said that he was a vampire.

Su she and yao: *Laughing* a what?!

Hensheng: yea. Our xiao Zai is very playful anyways.

Xue yang: you are?!

Jiangzai: yea I am.

Xue yang: wowww.

Su she: how?

Xue yang: Su she my sword can be anything!

Jiangzai: awww. What did I tell you ping er gege!!!

Nanping: *sighs*

~~~

Yao: *playing the guqin while Hensheng hugs his waist from behind*

Jiangzai: *drinking alcohol* xue yang! Are you feeling mischievous.

Xue yang: always!

Jiangzai: let's go somewhere!!

Xue yang: right behind you. *grin*

But first I have to harass Jiggy.

Jiangzai: what if you provoke Jiejie.

Xue yang: I'm not afraid of any sword spirit!

Xue yang: Diiimmmpplessss. What are you playing on your guqin? Are you missing Lan lips?!

Yao: Chengmei, I met him yesterday. Now I'm just playing a random song.

Xue yang: Dimples, can i get some money! I'm heading out.

And extra money this time! The candy prices are fluctuating. Our economy are in shambles.

Yao: *laughing* aw muffin. I got you.

Hensheng: why did you disturb him, Mr. Xue! He was occupied! And can't you get your own allowance.

Xue yang: Su she is broke. And Jiggybun is rich. I don't have a choice.

Su she: I'M NOT BROKE!

Yao: alright alright. And hensheng, relax dear.

Don't quarrel.

Hensheng: yes Dianxia.

Yao: here's the money, Chengmei.

Jiangzai: see. What I told you xue yang.

Hensheng:*smiling* my master, continue.

Yao: oh you. *chuckling*

Now how are you?

Hensheng: very happy.

Yao: how's your crush going? Did you choose?

Hensheng: I can't?! Both are so handsome. But I'm so shy to confess to them.

Yao: don't worry. And you do have a good chemistry with them.

Hensheng: I hope that you and Zewu Jun go into a relationship. So that I can be closer to Shuoyue and liebing.

Yao: I ship you guys.

Hensheng: really, master? Awwww

Su she: why do they love the Lans? Why.

Nanping: wondering the same.

Hensheng: but other than them, lianfang zun. I love you, and devote myself to you. And I wish to remain close to you.

Yao: you well, Hensheng. *smile*

*in a cell*

Xue yang: get me out of here if you know what's good for you! *banging bars*

Su she: you really think that they'll listen to you *rolls eyes*

Xue yang: I'm trying to intimidate them!!

Sms: by acting like a gremlin!

Xy: *sits and pouts* my candy is also finished.

*lifts up a piece of wood* I think I'm gonna break down these bars!

Sms: *looking for a way to escape.*

Xy: what I gotta do to get sweets here!!! You idiots!!

I'm gonna complain to my Jiggybun!

Su she: you're only worried about sweets?!!

Xue yang: not only that! I want to brutally slaughter this sect leader! And I can't get out!!!

Sms: compose yourself xue yang! We're Zongzhu's henchman. We represent.

Xy: I'll represent their face with a stick!

And where are your teleportation talisman?!

Sms: *crying* I forgot them at home for some reason.

Xy: *pulls out mini dagger* Su she!! I will kill you!

Sms: hide it before they take it from you!

Xy: I think they might find your corpse first. Just saying.

Sms: stop threatening me!

Xy: idiot.

Sms: I rather be in a pit with a bear than with you.

Xy: don't stress out the bear.

Xue yang: how dare this idiot imprisoned us.

Su she: he should be afraid of our Zongzhu at least.

Xue yang: Jiggy will trash him.

Slt and others : *clapping while entering* ah. Bickering and chatting I see.

What are you two lap dogs up to, huh?!

Sms: planning your demise.

Xy: figuring out how to hide a body.

Slt: drop your sarcasm.

Xy: sarcasm for sarcasm. It's fair.

Slt: now would you two care to give me info on your dear dear sect leader.

Xy: hell no.

Sms: and how dare you challenge him.

Xy: he won't be too pleased.

Slt: do you think I'm afraid of him!

Sms: *laughs* you would be.

You wouldn't want to see our emperor angry. Nor would you want to anger him

Xy: better count your days.

Sms: or hours.

Slt: What nonsense! Weren't you two just quarreling! On the verge of killing each other?!

Xue yang: you'll never understand. *rests his arm on smss shoulder* Yea, we would fight. But when it comes to business, we're partners in crime.

Sms: Aparently you haven't heard about frenemies.

Xue yang: and just remember, we can destroy you before Jiggy gets you.

Slt: you and your sect leader can't do anything!

Sms: wait and see.

Slt: look! Whether you like it or not, I'll take everything that your wh*re clan leader have.

~~

Two hours later.

The Tang sect leader went on an agenda, whereas something ominous happened at his sect headquarters. Firstly, sect members were mercilessly killed by mysterious men in black (obviously Yao's entourage and some other assassins)

Then when a fight broke out, cloaked person snuck through the back door, all the way to the cells. Afterwards, they stuck strong controlling pins into remaining sect members heads. And like Lingyi, their eyes turned gold and then went back to normal.

*distorted music plays*

...

*dungeon door dramatically opens*

Then the mysterious person killed the guards with a swish of his sword.

The mysterious guy: *saunters over to xue yang and Su she's cell.

Sms: wah!

Xue yang: who the heck are you?!

The mysterious guy: *pulls out a piece of candy*

Xue yang: Jiggy!

Su she: my Zongzhu!

Yao: *taking off his cloak* happy to see me.

*breaks the lock with his sword* come.

Su she: thank you so so so much, Zongzhu!

Yao: you're welcome *smiles*

Xue yang: Jiggy, that bastard didn't give me any sweets. *pout*

Yao: here muffin. I know, they have mistreated you two.

Su she: I accidentally forgot my teleportation talisman, Dianxia. I'm sorry.

Yao: it's ok.

Xue yang: *caressing his dagger, while while chewing on a piece of candy and standing ominously behind Yao*

Su she: *standing behind him as well*

Yao: *arms folded, while smirking*

Su she: what are we gonna do with him, Jiggy!

Xue yang: he's so done! Now what's your plan?

Can I stab him?

Su she: we'll do your work for you.

Yao: relax boys. Jiggy got this.

Su she: I know. You're very genius.

Yao: *chuckles* shall we.

Xue yang: sure!

Su she: gladly.

~~~

Minshan: one of his idiotic experiments I guess.

Xue yang: have respect. It's a Yiling laozu technique.

Xue yang: and this will enhance our team!

Minshan: how?!

Xue yang: I can spy on people! Mess with Jiggy. Anything I want.

Yao: show me.

Xue yang: *transfers his soul into the paperman.

Pm xue yang: *hops on the table, then flew and landed on Yao's shoulder.*

Yao: *warmly smiles and glances* Yangyang, what are you doing?

Pm xue yang: Jiggybun's lips are a work of art. So pretty up close.

Yao: *holds him* stop it, you little mischief maker. You're making me laugh.

Pm xue yang: *lands on Yao's hat* really comfortable here! Finally the hat has another purpose. A bed for mini me.

Minshan: stop harassing Zongzhu!

Pm xue yang: *ignores*

Yao: Minshan, but isn't he cute as a paperman?

Minshan: yea I guess but still annoying.

Pm xue yang: *flies and lands on the table*

Pm xue yang: I can't pick up my knife *cries* Jiggy help.

Yao: *laughs* why do you need a knife for?

Pm xue yang: no reason. I just like knives.

Minshan: can I rip him?

Pm xue yang: *takes sweets from Yao's sleeve* what a stash!

Yao: oh Chengmei *laughing* you can't stay put, can't you?

Pm xue yang: can you open this??

Yao: robbing me, but you can't open a piece of candy.

Pm xue yang: tough life. *sits on the candy*

Minshan: *holds Yao's hand* Jiggy. Now it's just you and I.

Pm xue yang: I'm still here! I will bite you!

Minshan: *ignores* am I loyal to you? *puppy eyes*

Yao: very much.

Minshan: want to leave xue yang here and go for some osmanthous cake? Or some tea at that nearby teahouse?

Xue yang: how dare you plan to run away with Jiggybun!

Yao: Maybe next time, Minshan. *smile* and I have already ordered tea and snacks here.

Minshan: as you say. *caresses hand* I respect your suggestions*

Yao: *laughs* oh Minshan. You simp.

Minshan: Jiggy??

Yao: pulling your legs, Minshan.

Xue yang: *returns his soul back to his body* *bites Minshan*

Minshan: *screams and cries* you rabid man!! You psychotic little piece of trash! Zongzhu look what he has done to me!!

Xue yang: and you want to be all over Jiggy.

Yao: *wipes Su she's arm with a cloth* oh my! Yangyang why?! Don't bite anyone.

Minshan: *cries* I'm gonna get rabies.

Yao: no you're not.

Minshan: his bite marks. My arm is bleeding.

Yao: shhh, calm down.

Minshan: Zongzhuuuuu!

Yao: *tensed smile*

Yao: Chengmei.

Xue yang: he was provocative. And I warned him that I will bite him.

Minshan: *sniffs*

Yao: naughty little Chengmei.

*applies ointment*

Minshan: *sniffles* Zongzhu, my savior.