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All the Robins are some of the people who don't really fear Batman and will gladly trash talk him
Dick, Roy, Donna, and Kara were locked in a room, each waiting for their partners to rescue them. Kara was feeling the effects of kryptonite, leaving her too weak to break them out.
Dick sat on the floor, idly circling his finger in the dust. The tension in the room lingered as they each contemplated their situation.
Dick: While we wait to be rescued, I have a confession… I don’t actually think Batman is that smart.
Roy: Wait, what?
Dick: Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. It's just... He thinks he can do everything on his own, but he really can’t.
Donna: Why are you confessing this now?
Dick: Because he’s my father and I grew up with him. I’m bored, and honestly, I’m frustrated by how long it’s taking him to save us. He’s an egotistical, blunt, traumatized guy who acts like he knows it all, but he doesn’t.
Roy: Um, can he—
Kara (raising her hand while lounging on the floor): Hold on, let him cook.
Dick: This guy has contingency plans for every hero out there but refuses to call them friends. He can’t maintain a relationship; I’m shocked he’s still with Selina. And for a master detective, he sure doesn’t seem to realize that gas station condoms or the pull-out method aren’t exactly foolproof!
Roy (interested now): Keep going.
Dick: He always has to insist on being right.
Donna and Kara: What? No.
Roy: No, I get what he’s saying.
Dick: He’s so difficult! He still refuses to admit that Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" isn't about a drowning man! I’ll give him credit; he knows how to apologize when he’s wrong, he just sucks at always doing it. I grew up with that man in his twenties. I’ve seen all his mistakes. If it weren’t for Alfred, Jim, and honestly me, he’d be a complete train wreck—
Just then, Batman kicked open the door, clearly having overheard the entire conversation. Roy covered his mouth to stifle a laugh. Dick waved nonchalantly, unfazed.
Dick: Hey, Papa! You made it... five hours later.
Batman (enraged): You… You... You are grounded! Grounded until... next month!
Dick pouted.
Kara: He’s an adult!
Dick: I mean, he can ground me. Totally worth it.
Batman grabbed Dick by the leg and started dragging him out, but Dick didn’t seem to mind, arms still crossed and a grin on his face.
Dick: I want McDonald’s!
Batman: No!
Dick (whining): I want McDonald’s!
Batman: Fine, but you’re still grounded.
Superman, Wonder Woman, and Green Arrow watched the father-son argue for a moment, then turned to their respective family members.
Roy: Can you ground us?
Green Arrow (sighing): No. Just walk to the car.
Roy followed Green Arrow out while Donna linked arms with Wonder Woman and left alongside her. Meanwhile, Kara lifted her leg in front of Superman.
Superman: The effects of the kryptonite wore off.
Kara: Do it, or I’ll spill the beans about that Christmas party.
Superman (groaning): Fine.
He grabbed her leg and began dragging her along the smooth floor.
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For a few years in a row I did daily merthur minifics in the month of December (here, here, and here on AO3). They're filled with wintery goodness. Cold weather, snow, Christmas trees, plenty of merthur kisses under mistletoe, etc....
I was thinking that I like to write/read/ think about Merlin and Arthur hooking up in hot weather, too, so I was thinking I might do a 'Christmas in July' sort of thing. Nothing at all Christmassy about it, just a daily minific for every day in July, all with definite summer themes.
Would anyone be interested in reading them?
I have a list of prompts I'm thinking of using, and I've already written a few to make up for days when I might be busy, so I'll probably post them all anyway, I'm just testing the waters.
Batman gives a good example as to why he has the contingency plans he has to the Justice League pt 2
Click the link for part 1
Batman: You can whine and moan all you want, but until you've watched the people you work with lying in hospital beds for two weeks, wearing sick, twisted smiles and unmoving, while everything around you is falling apart, keep the complaints to yourselves.
Hal: Yeah.
Batman: Because I don't give two shits what you think of my plans. I have these plans so you don't kill me. I have these plans so you don't kill the people in your cities. I have these plans so you don't go after my family!
Hal: Yeah, stand on business!
Superman: Would you shut up!
Batman: He's allowed to talk here! I have contingencies to protect everyone on Earth! Do any of you know what joker toxin can do to someone when untreated? Do any of you have an answer?
No one answered the rhetorical question.
Guy Gardner returned with popcorn bags for him and Hal. They looked at the four members, sharing the same waiting expression and teasing smirk.
Superman cleared his throat, hopeful that what he said wouldn't sound bad, but Wonder Woman quickly slapped her hand over his mouth.
Batman: You could've died, and that's not an exaggeration. People have died from his toxin, and he created ones specifically for four of you to go after me, and you're mad I have plans to stop you. Not only to kill you, I'm nice to have variety so you don't fucking die!
Batman paused, clenching his fist.
Batman: I don't like having them, I don't want to distrust you people. You're friends... associates... colleagues to a degree, Hal.
Hal: Yeah, I'm the favorite.
Batman sighed focusing his anger on the four members standing ashamed in front of him.
Batman: Let me talk slowly when I say this because you're a little slow, I am Batman, I don't have to confess this to you, I do not need to give a good reason for what I plan. I put my life on the line every god damn day and none of you will be the reason I have a god damn tombstone!
Guy (pretending he didn't say that): He's on to something! - Who said that?
Wonder Woman (rubbing her arm): This is mortifying.
Batman: How the hell do you think I felt when you told me you hated me and always did! I may not care what you say about me most of the time, but those words hurt!
Wonder Woman pouted, holding her head down.
Green Arrow: When you put it like that, I get it. Especially for Barry.
Flash!Barry (taken back): Why did you say especially for me?
Batman: You're not talking Barry! I'm talking. Incidents like the time you had a grin on par with the cheshire cat made me expand on my contingencies... and schedule more sessions as Harley's therapy.
Wonder Woman: You go to Harley Quinn for therapy? That—
Batman: I swear to your God, you keep talking and I'm texting your husband you watched the eternity of Love Island without him. I will sit and listen to him discuss socks for an hour just to tell him.
Wonder Woman: Shutting up, got it.
Batman: The lesson today is, I have these plans to protect all of us and I don't want to hear any further complaints. Am I clear?
Superman lowered Wonder Woman's hand speaking up.
Superman (hesitant tone): I mean if you could just make them less intense.
Hal: That was actually the worst thing you could've said and I'm so glad I could be here to witness that.
Guy (eating popcorn): For a smart dude, he sure can say some dumb shit.
Black Canary and Jon Stewart ate some of the movie theatre popcorn agreeing with Guy Gardner.
Batman was incensed by what Superman, his friend said after his whole speech. Batman turned to face the group, his expression neutral, but the fury inside him was boiling over. He was at his breaking point, the metaphorical water slipping from the pot.
While he regretted having to raise his voice, he felt he had no other choice.
Batman (shouting): I am a Justice League member and I will work with you, but if you don't stop pestering me about my contingency plans, I will go insane and I am taking you all with me!
Most of the Justice League: …
Flash!Barry (laughing nervously): Batman, I just want to say you made it very clear for me. Not sure about these three.
Batman: If the next person who talks says something that pisses me off, I swear to your Gods, I will leer like that bitch from Smile 2, scream, cry, and launch plan 240 in this building! We will all suffer my wrath!
Aquaman: Hey, just speaking for the group here, but you seem to be going through some stuff and we're exacerbating that frustration. So that's our bad. You're still mad at some of us for getting Jokerized and attacking you.
Batman: Which led to me contemplating death more and losing my memory. I was ready to die with the Joker.
Aquaman: Yeah, that's totally bad! I get it. We all do now and we said some rude things to you.
Batman (deadpan tone): Wonder Woman said she always hated me.
Wonder Woman (mumbling): I... wasn't in my right mind.
Batman: Superman talked like Bizarro and almost killed me.
Superman: I am really sorry about that, buddy.
Batman (glaring at the speedster): Flash… go to hell, Barry. You know what you did!
Flash (saddened): How come mine wasn't descriptive? What the frick did I do that was worse then there's?
Batman: I had to sanitize that room you took a crap in for a start!
Flash: Oh shoot that did happen.
Batman (to Aquaman): And you ... I don't like seeing you crazy. You shouted the name Cthulhu five hundred and I didn't like where that was going.
Aquaman: I'm sorry about that, nothing was going to happen, but I suck for acting like that. I'm sorry again. Like I mean that, dude. I am so sorry.
Batman: Your presence is oddly comforting right now so I accept your apology. I find you pleasant, I'm not that mad at you... As for the others...
Wonder Woman: Why did that wound me?
Superman: We're not Flash at least.
Flash: I paid for the carpet cleaning!
Green Arrow: You would be the one to shat like a-
Flash: Shut up, Boris Johnson!
Batman: That was my father's carpet!
Flash (giving up): I can't win.
Aquaman: Um, going back to your early complaints, I appreciate that and Batman you have every right to not trust us for a while. You saved us and kept us safe while we got better the least we can do is accept that you have those plans. I can't believe I'm about to say this—
Hawkman and Hawkgirl leaned forward in their seats. Aquaman glanced at them.
Hawkgirl: Don't mind us, we're just waiting for the vine boom.
Aquaman: Glad you all are enjoying this serious moment. Batman, after what I went through... you have every right to have contingencies and thank you. I mean that.
Batman (monotone surprise): You do?
JLA members (surprise): You do?!
Aquaman: I do... now. Batman, first of all, thank you for saving us after we went Joker levels of insane. The best way we can make it up to you is by being grateful that you saved us. I'm sorry for attacking you and for all the terrible things I said, which weren't true. We all feel awful about how we behaved. Can you look into your closed-off heart and forgive all of us?
Batman: You're forgiven. I never really held it against any of you, I wasn't mad since you weren't in your right mind that day, but I don't appreciate being backed into a corner about my contingencies and I haven't had my coffee yet.
Flash: It's three in the afternoon.
Batman: We can't all operate on regular dopamine.
Flash: That's fair. I need coffee too.
Aquaman: Batman, those thoroughly researched and detailed and kind of disturbing plans, despite how concerning they are... really can come in handy. You got us an antidote before things got worse. If it weren’t for your incredible paranoia and quick thinking, I wouldn’t be back with Mera and my son.
Batman: That was thoughtful to hear. Thank you, Aquaman.
Superman: He called him paranoid.
Flash: He is, keep up, Supes.
Aquaman: Superman, you have to understand that paranoia is a strength for him. For that, I am eternally grateful and again deeply apologize for dismissing your plans earlier. I don't blame you, Bats... I get ya.
Batman blinked, crossing his arms, secretly relieved to hear this, even if he did get called paranoid. That paranoia had helped him in the past.
Everyone else stared at Aquaman, some at how charming he was, the others annoyed he was siding with Batman. Superman was just jealous.
Wonder Woman: I often forget you're a king until you start talking like that. Impressive.
Aquaman: I'll take that as a compliment. Batman, if we hold back on criticizing most of your contingencies can you give us a tenth chance?
Batman closed his eyes, mentally debating what to say next.
Batman (clearing his throat): Yeah sure, Arthur. Thank you for understanding me. I can find it in my heart to give you all a thousandth chance and you can only criticize my plans if they seem too unhinged. Trust me you'll be able to tell.
The JLA members nodded, voicing their gratitude for the second chance. Batman sighed, feeling a headache forming.
Aquaman: Alright, cool. We can move on and I will see you for movie night this Friday?
Superman: Movie night?
Batman: Yes, I don't find you nearly as annoying as everyone else. Hal you can come too.
Hal: Yes! Score! We're watching those stupid Star Wars movies. Love it!
Superman: He's invited? He doesn't even like the prequels!
Batman: Yes, but his commentary when we watched Terrifier was actually funny.
Hal: I knew you found me funny!
Batman: Funny and annoying.
Hal: I will take it!
Aquaman: This will be a fun movie night. Wondy, you want to come too?
Wonder Woman: I'd rather get lock jaw from the joker smiles again.
Superman: Right, right, whatever. Am I not invited?
Batman: Barry, Oliver, you want to attend?
Flash!Barry: Yes, we can watch Star Wars before it got bad.
Green Arrow: It didn't get- I'm going to attend just to prove him wrong.
Superman: What the helly?! You don't find him annoying as everyone else? I'm not included?
Batman: Most of the time.
Batman walked past the group, heading out the building.
Superman: Most... Most of the time? Okay I can accept that, but look at him! He looks like a surfer dude! No offense Aquaman.
Aquaman: That's not an insult to me, thanks for the compliment.
Flash: Hm, I see it now. He's delightful.
Aquaman: Thanks dudes.
And they all lived decently ever after as superheros.
