#mind wandering

My brain: Men. Lots of warm, heavy men holding me tight

Instructor: like support...creativity...love

so ik some people are like ‘she’s only using him because his backstory is perfect for the job and he’s her boyfriend so he’s easier to control and manipulate etc’

but this totally backs up all the people that are saying how her promoting him and helping him rise and such is her (very awkward) love language; acts of service and all that. like she has literally brought him in on a job where he is being praised by someone senior in the isb. look how happy he is! she helped make that happen!

he didn’t need to be in that briefing room. dedra will-go-off-protocol-to-get-sector-data-behind-blevin’s-back meero could have chosen to brief partagaz alone if she really wanted to take all the glory, but she wanted him to be there! she could have made up something to say partagaz only wants to speak to her as an official isb agent but no: he's there, she got him clearance into the isb building goddammit. she wants to make sure partagaz knows he’s been important in the operation!

she means it when she tells him in 208 that when they go back they’ll be heroes, she absolutely believes she’s helping to give him his idealistic, heroic dream.

it’s perfectly convenient that his closeness to her makes him a great operative that will listen to her, but it’s also perfectly convenient that she has at her fingertips the ability to give him a huge job that could lead to perhaps a promotion out of the bureau of standards into something better, something closer to the kind of higher office he dreamed of.

in 203 she sees his mother makes him unhappy, she gets the mother out of the way. she knows a better, more significant position will make him happy, she gives him a job that, once done, should help bring that closer to fruition.

GOOD

Azriel needs to be friends with his mate before jumping into anything physical. He needs to be fully known, accepted, loved and chosen as a person before loved physically.

Gwyn had choice in physical intimacy stolen from her. Her very first experience with sex was violent, bloody, painful, traumatic. In my humble opinion, based on my own experiences, it would be good for her to be comfortable with her partner as a person first before she moves into physical intimacy. To have a layer of trust between them so she can feel safe to explore.

Any attraction should be built on a foundation of affection for who they are, stains and scars and all.

Mind wanderer: I spend a lot of my mental time thinking aimlessly about my real life in a variety of ways, including creating simulations of real life scenarios involving other people, things in the real world, or projections into the past/future of my present reality

Day dreamer: I spend a lot of my mental time intentionally or aimlessly creating completely fictitious scenarios in my head about creatures, characters, places, and things that do not and/or can not exist in my present reality

Mindful thinker: I spend a lot of my mental time intentionally focusing on the real, present moment of my present existence and experience