Back then, my friends couldnât believe it when I told them Iâd be shipping out in a couple of months. I remember my friend Chloeâs mouth dropping as she said, âWerenât we just, like, hitting the bong and talking about conspiracy theories last week?â
I wasnât exactly what youâd call patriotic. As an edgy, Tumblr-obsessed teenager in 2013 (back when Tumblr was the wild west of the internet, before the mass clean up), I had started exploring different philosophies. At the time, I was reading The Communist Manifesto and watching Whitest Kids Uâ Know sketches about 9/11 being an inside job.
(Millenial tumblr post, 2013)
GutiĂ©rrez talks about how âlearning is conceived of as a process occurring within ongoing activityâ and at that point, my âongoing activityâ was just trying to survive being an adult without any kind of safety net.
I made my decision, not out of fealty for my country, but out of necessity. I wanted a place to sleep, I wanted to be fed. And most importantly, I wanted my college paid for.
I had to prepare, mentally and physically. I had never been active before, so I started running around my neighborhood. At first, it was just a quarter mile. Then it turned into one mile, then three, and before I knew it, I was running five miles every day. My sister Sam, the movie lover, thought it would be a good idea to show me Full Metal Jacket. Terrible idea, and afterward thatâs when it really started to hit me. I was about to go to boot camp.
(Me and my mom the day before I shipped out)