#mild swears

Penny drags her body against the basement wall. The right leg refuses to move after the enemy archimage hit it with an ice spell.

The ceiling is low, Penny would still not be able to straighten up to her full height, but it's harder to crawl with one working leg.

Penny turns to the man reclining on the cold stone floor.

This outing was hard for both of them. The forces of resistance were melting away before their eyes. No one believed in success anymore. There were mostly people who wanted to die with weapons in their hands. Recently, Penelope ex-Eckart began to consider herself one of such kind.

They defended the northern port together with, who would have thought, the former Delman rebels. Their task was to buy enough time for the ships to sail safely. The pitiful couple of thousand people they were able to gather and save during their desperate retreat to the north, sailed away on them, hoping to hide from the enemies of the ancient magicians in the seas. Ironically, before that, the remnants of the ancient kingdom of Leila were hiding in the seas from them.

Penny was afraid to think about those who lived south of the capital and, thus, did not even have a chance to join them. Only a small part managed to get to the capital and an even smaller part managed to get out of it when Leia captured the palace and the dragon's claws, and hordes of demons who consider themselves gods poured from the southern islands.

Every time someone started telling or reporting on what was going on in the south, Penelope preferred to turn around and leave. She doesn't want to know. She has enough memories of what they tried to do to her.

Oh, yes, a girl with the blood of ancient wizards was great fun for their old enemies. They thought that they had all disappeared, and there would be no one to take revenge for their previous defeat, and she, a fool, herself got in their way. Wasn't it a wonderful gift of fate?

If even Winter's magic was child’s play to them, Penelope has no idea how strong her ancestors were. Leila, it seems, had an idea, because at some point, they began to discuss half-breeds.

Salvation came from where she did not expect. It came in a form of her younger brother Reynold. After she ran away from home and renounced her status as a noblewoman and the family name in general, according to the documents, he was no longer her family, but still acted like a real brother – for the first time in his life — and ran away with her in his arms through the underground corridors of the palace.

Until Derrick blocked their way. He was one of the first people Leia got to. Penelope had been wary of him from the moment Yvonne crossed the threshold of the Eckart estate, she had not seen him for several months. During this time, he became haggard and paler, Penelope could not understand why he was in such a state until he opened his mouth:

«I... I tried to resist, but... This pain and despair, they are... They're eating into you. She wants me to stop you, so that I... U-kill you... Then it will all be over, but...», Derrick grips the hilt of his sword, as does Reynold.

Penelope had never heard Reynold's voice like that... broken. He was always too cocky and hot-tempered for her to imagine him like that, «Please. We can all leave together-the three of us, and... »

«No! It's too late! It's too late... I... I...», The young duke's hands are shaking, as if he's going through a huge pain. He raises his sword, and, «I won't... I won't!»

The heir of the Eckharts pierces his chest with his own sword. Reynold and Penelope both scream. Derrick begins to vomit blood, and he falls to the floor.

«Brother!»

Reynold flies up to him and kneels on the floor, not letting Penelope out of his hands.

«I realized it only recently, but there... is nothing more important... than family... Run, Reynold... And so... rry...», Derrick glances at Penelope and closes his eyes forever.

Reynold is crying like a little baby. Penelope snuggles up to him and hugs his shoulders as much as she can in such an exhausted state. She knows what it's like to lose a family.

Penny turns to the body of the eldest son of the house of Eckhart and wishes him a reunion with his real sister and father, who has already paid the price for not being able to raise his hand on the body of his real daughter.

They get out of the palace, and even the capital, but Reynold has not gone far. The former slave, now the "king", was glad to find himself a queen without the knowledge and, thus, the prohibition of the "empress", and the younger son of the Eckhart, who mocked his mistress and drove him half to death in training, he never liked.

After a small battle, in which Penelope, exhausted by torture, simply could not physically take part, Iklis picks her up and sits in a carriage, taking the former duchess to the north. Penelope howls and cries, mourning her almost brother. The picture of his decapitated body will forever remain a scar on her heart and will haunt her in her dreams for a long time.

Penny thanks all the gods for the fact that a spell pops up in her head, despite the lost wand-mirror, and for the fact that Iklis, unlike Leila, does not know how to block magic. And when the new bastard-king of Delmania tries to get under her skirt, he gets a fireball in the face. And about-to-be-queen flees, disguised as a maid, leaving the body of her former escort in the royal bedchamber strewn with petals of roses that she hates.

Penelope runs through the woods at night without looking backShe's not even a bit ashamed. After this shit, they're even. Moreover, Iklis went mad by himself, and madmen on the throne always have one end - death at the hands of their compatriots, who, in this case, followed him for freedom from the empire, and not into slavery to the demons. A wicked joke. Penelope is bursting with laughter. If Iklis hadn't been obsessed with her, he might have been considered an intelligent king who knelt for the life of his subjects. Penelope stops and laughs out loud.

«Crazy game.»

Who could fix it all?

Of the key characters, only Callisto and Winter remained.

Penelope had heard nothing about the first one. After she gave up the name and ran away in search of the mirror of truth, she never saw him. However, judging by how quickly Leia captured the palace, it would not have been possible without his participation. This was his routine in normal mode afterall. Her heart sank uncomfortably.

As for Winter, Penelope seemed to have heard something about him in the conversations of her torturers. Most likely, he fell into their hands. His fate is unknown, but... But Penny could bet anything, even though she didn't have anything left to bet, that she wouldn't envy.

With such thoughts, she goes further into the depths of the forest and further from the palace, if she is lucky, she will be missed only in the morning. The girl moves through the snowdrifts and frowns at the fact that snowflakes fall on her eyelashes and prevent her from clearly seeing the road. Looking at the snow, Penny wonders how much time she spent in custody — she was captured on her way to the mirror, a couple of weeks after her coming-of-age ceremony, back in the summer. The girl stops and absentmindedly wipes a single tear from her cheek. She shakes his head, now is not the time.

She needs shelter, food, and oh, hell, at least some kind of plan.

She gets to some small village, seemingly untouched by the outbreak of the war. And Penelope understands why - crumbled houses, covered with snow, small farms, an old sawmill and a blacksmith shop, who needs it?

But never say never, because at this moment two emissaries, accompanied by a dozen magicians, enter the village and start convolve the locals.

Why is it that every time someone says "Somebody do something!", it turns out to be her?

The brain screams to turn around and leave before it's too late, but the blood boils with the magic of ancient wizards and asks for battle. And when Leila reaches out to the little girl with a carnivorous smile, lightning pierces his head.

Penelope had enough of this spectacle on the Soleil Island when her not-stepsister ate people alive, thank you. She's had enough.

A scuffle begins. The villagers arm themselves as best they can, mainly with hunting bows. And Penelope finds herself on the front line, and not in her usual position at the back.

After the battle, the girl falls frozen and exhausted loses consciousness.

She wakes up again in the forest, and the head of the local rebel squad, on his knees, asks her to join their ranks. For some reason, the girl does not even think to refuse.

Could Penelope have thought that she would swap the title of a lady to the title of an archimage, long curls to a short ponytail, still curly though, and ball gowns to an army uniform? And the crossbow is replaced by spells, because magic is replenished unlike arrows. Penelope begins to make decisions that she would have made in life, and notes to herself that she has already grown together with Penelope.

During the next planned outing, everything goes wrong. More leilas have suddenly been pulled here, and Penelope can't figure out why, until their squad is knocked out of the encirclement by imperial soldiers.

There is no room for pride now, survival is at stake, and the rebels are joining the troops of the empire.

Her commander calls her to talk to the command, and there she meets the Crown Prince himself. She will never forget his shocked face, although hers was probably no better.

Her commander, without reading the situation, continues to negotiate dispassionately. This sobers Penelope, and she puts an impassive expression on her face, and concentrates her attention on the map. When she looks up at Callisto again, he sends her a look she can't read.

Immediately after the end of the meeting, Penelope goes to the fresh air to breath and somehow calm the raging heart. Having already moved away from the camp, she suddenly hears the crunch of branches behind her. She turns around abruptly, but the spell does not come off her tongue, as she sees golden hair shining under the moonlight, burning ruby eyes and his beautiful face...

He kissed every scar left by the enemies of her kind, licked every tear from her cheeks, hugged her so tightly that Penelope doubted that there was such a force in the world that could pull him away from her at that moment. And most importantly, Penelope finally forgot herself and thought only about him, and not about demons, magicians and deaths, and games, and other dimensions, while he took her right on the grass under the starry sky.

Then, gasping for air, they lie in an embrace. Penny buried her face somewhere between his neck and shoulder and crossed her fingers on the one hand with his. Callisto loosens his grip a little and lifts himself up. Penny looks at him in surprise, but calms down when his cloak falls on her shoulders. Penny snuggles even closer to him and throws her leg over him in a possessive gesture. She hears a soft chuckle, but ignores it, already dozing away. Callisto lifts himself up, although he wants to say something to her and looks at her face, but only clicks his tongue, seeing her closed eyes.

He stays quiet for about five minutes, and then says:

«Just marry me at last.»

Half-asleep Penelope mumbles her agreement and pulls his cloak higher.

A week later they get married in some dilapidated village church. And instead of petals from the sky, fireworks, feasting, dancing and music, the imperial wedding is celebrated with a double ration. That's probably why people were most happy about this wedding.

Penelope was not one of those girls who dreamed of her wedding, imagined the perfect dress, a bouquet, a hall and a cake, but... Looks like Callisto was. Because looking at her in a long white nightgown-yes, it was the best they could come up with—he looked sad and guilty. Penelope adjusts the falling wreath of wildflowers and reaches for a kiss. She's just damn glad that at least Callisto, she was able to defend.

Callisto had prepared the rings in advance, even before her escape. Penelope would have laughed at his arrogance, but now this ring on her finger is the only thing that warms her soul in these dark times.

Penelope has a gold ring on her hand, and every morning she wakes up, though on the ground, but in his embrace. And it seems that life is slowly getting better, despite all this atrocity around, but...

Her newfound friend, an expert in history and archaeology, as well as ancient magicians in particular, and concurrently the young wife of her husband's closest adviser, has a miscarriage. For the first time, Cedric asks his Highness for a day off to spend it with a broken Marien, and Callisto gives it for the first time.

Penelope is ashamed that while wiping the tears of her first friend in this world, she thinks that this is good news. At such times, the birth of a child is not happiness, but a great grief.

Penelope notes to herself that years of forced hunger strikes and months of torture and work at the limit of both physical and magical abilities have most likely made her infertile now. Now and only now, it's good. And Penelope definitely won't cry because of this sudden insight into the pillow, no. The fact that she lost her family, and will not be able to create her own, is not the worst thing that could happen to her in this crazy world. She tries to believe this. Just to save some bits of her sanity left.

A couple of weeks later, they hear that the "empress" has been killed. By her own. Penelope doesn't even have the strength to grin anymore.

The Crown Prince and the Crown Princess decide that this is the right time for their maneuvers. But an offensive on, but an evacuation.

The Crown Prince recalls that during their operations to capture Delmanians, expeditions to the northern seas took place and a couple of islands were discovered. Due to the infertile soil, they were considered unprofitable, and because of the war with the empire, the research was quickly closed, but now these pathetic, useless pieces of land are their best option.

The problem was that lately they had been mostly engaged in partisanship, and they needed ships for thousands of people. Taking small fishing villages would attract attention before at least some acceptable part of the people could escape.

Thus, an operation to seize the commercial port was organized in a short time. The plan was more suicidal, but Penelope can't remember the last time she took part in another one. Apparently, the others were of the same opinion, since it was approved.

Penelope worked as a distraction, bombing enemy magicians with fireballs and lightning. Pulling the leilas greedy for wizards away from the evacuation zone. Callisto, meanwhile, was storming the port from the other side of the city.

Penelope swallowed hastily brewed and hellishly bitter mana replenishment potions, and continued to pour spells on opponents while the ranks of her fellow magicians continued to thin.

At some point, there were a dozen of them left, and a Jean familiar to her, who at first taught her not to pour all the mana into one spell, told her, «Your Highness, go. The last ship is leaving now. We will detain them.»

Unprecedented generosity. Penelope would have been moved if it hadn't been for her inexplicably newfound pride.

«Unfortunately, I married the captain of this sinking ship. We're both not going anywhere.»

«You should. People need someone to lead them.»

«You are “people” too», Penelope retorts, wiping the blood from the wound on her head with a sharp, quick movement.

«If you die here with us, it won't change anything at all.»

Jean reaches out and casts a spell on her, which she herself put on the squad that was going on a preliminary sortie earlier.

«Find His Highness.»

Penelope freezes for a second, but...

«Bye, Jean», she whispers.

But the invisibility spell soon runs out. Penelope takes refuge in an alley, and uses the search spell again. This brings the two leilas to her.

Fights in alleys are terrible and cruel stuff, and when there are three magicians in an alley, it is disgusting and destructive.

Penny has learned to attack first a long time ago. Melt the face of one, depriving the eyes, shield from the spell of the other, counterattack, take a blow and finish off... Penelope gets off with a small loss - a leg. And while the leg is not completely gone, she limps to her man.

There is a real meat grinder going on in the streets of the coastal city, but Penny has learned not to pay attention to it. A soldier in a hurry points her to some building, and runs to help his comrades. Penelope doesn't have time to order him to retreat.

The Crown Princess is already climbing down the wall, and here she is a few meters away from the one she was looking for...

«Why didn't you leave?», such a stupid question that she won’t deign to answer it.

She finally crawls up to him and settles down next to him. Examines him, notes how he holds his hand on his stomach, from under which a spreading bloodstain is already visible.

Penelope has no mana left, no potions, no scrolls, no ordinary bandages, but the woman tiredly notes the ruby ornament clamped between his fingers, which has not shone as brightly as before during treatment for a long time. Penelope Regulus tells herself to calm down.

«Let us take a nap for a while», Penelope lowers her head on her husband’s shoulder, simultaneously intertwining her fingers with his.

Everything is floating in her eyes, white noise in her head. She knows rather than feels that Callisto is forcing himself to exert force to bend his fingers so that he can also hold hers. He exhales heavily and raggedly—and Penny doesn't like the way he wheezes—and puts his head on top of hers.

Penelope is crying for some reason. She suddenly wants to say with all her heart that she loves him more than anything in the world, but her body is so tired, so tired for all this time, starting from the moment she crossed the threshold of the duke's house, that her tongue does not obey, and her eyes close.

When she forces herself to open them by pure force of will, she is sitting on her knees, in some heavy clothes that pinned her to the floor. She abruptly looks up from the floor and sees the young duke swearing at her, because she did something at the banquet again.

Tears continue to flow from the Crown Princess' eyes. She grabs her hand, which now has no wedding ring on it.

"Shhh!" Lucy giggled, looking left and right to see who might have overheard. "Nobody needs to know about that sort of thing."

"Call me nobody, 'cause I need those details!" Cana whooped and slammed down her empty mug. "Spill! Spill! Spill!"

"Did someone make a mess?" Erza stalked back over to stand with hands on hips in front of Natsu and Lucy. "I'm counting on everyone to make Jellal's party a success."

"I thought the tree trimming party was for the whole guild," Cana wobbled over and gave Erza an odd considering look. "Jellal has met us before - why're you so nervous?" Rummaging in her purse, Cana withdrew her tarot cards with an evil smirk. "One last chance - you tell me or I ask the cards!"

Erza gulped, taking an involuntary step backward, hard onto Lucy's foot. Lucy yelped. Natsu turned to steady his girlfriend, accidently hitting Droy in the process. Droy fell, taking Jet with him. Gajeel laughed and Levy smacked Gajeel. Erza looked around as the room fell into confusion - meeting Cana's knowing eyes. Composure shattered, Erza ran - out of the guild, babbling nonsense.

"You guys need to shut-up," Gray complained from his seat, "all this noise is making me make mistakes."

"You're a mistake," shouted Natsu.

"Not as big a mistake as you!" Gray tossed down his knitting and stomped over to the flailing mass of guild members. "I'm gonna kick your ass."

"Fat fuckin' chance!"

The ladies of the guild, being generally smarter and (slightly) less prone to violence, withdrew from the melee. Natsu grappled with Gray. Gajeel took shots at everyone and more of the drunken revellers piled into the scuffle. Mira let them blow off steam for a good five minutes and then nodded to Laxus. He made the foundation of the guild tremble with a massive crack of thunder.

Smiling as serene as an innocent angel, Mira clapped her hands. "Wasn't that fun?" Her tone was pleasant but her eyes promised vengeance. "It's Christmas eve and you've collectively destroyed the Christmas tree - and all the decorations. If you want to survive, you'll all go out and bring back new ornaments." She rubbed her baby bump and stared coldly at the mages.

Slowly, the bruised combatants untangled themselves and stood. They'd knocked the tree over into nothing more than loose branches and scattered needles.

"Droy, tell me you can fix the tree." Mira waddled over to Droy, "Tell me you have a quick fix."

"Of, of course I can fix the tree," Droy gulped, "I'm sure to have the right kind of seed at home."

Mira pointed to the back exit. "Take Jet with you."

Jet and Droy ran away as Mira directed her commands at the rest of the people responsible for the mess. "Lucy, Natsu - go find new lights." Mira glared at the others, "The rest of you - I don't care if you have to carve them yourselves - find or make new ornaments!"

Suddenly the guild was a ghost town, with only the die-hard bar flies still hanging around. Mira nodded to her servers; time to resume selling drinks. She'd gotten rid of the trouble-makers. Now she could get down to serious business - a well-deserved foot rub followed by snack-time.

><><><

Natsu swept Lucy into his arms and ran with her all the way outside of Magnolia. He didn't even slow when she'd pulled his hair and yelled at him to stop at her apartment. He'd scoffed that they could take the lights from her personal tree to replace the guild's ruined lights, insisting he had the perfect plan. He kept running to his run-down house.

"So, you must have a stash of lights stored around here somewhere?"

Natsu shook his head and guided Lucy into his house. "Naw, but I thought we could have a little preview right now."

"Oh?" Lucy looked over her shoulder at Natsu. "Preview of what?" She giggled as Natsu pouted.

"I didn't fight with Erza at all!"

"Yeah, you fought with Gray instead." Lucy crossed her arms and plopped onto the couch, a wry smile competing with the frown she'd wanted to show Natsu.

"I promised not to fight with Erza, not Gray."

"Ya got me there." Lucy relented, patting the cushion beside her, "How about a kiss?"

"Deal."

Lucy set her hands on her knees and turned to face Natsu. "One kiss and then we go find some Christmas lights."

"Two," counter offered Natsu, "Two kisses and then you stop worrying about lights. I've got it under control." He grinned slyly, "Matter of fact, gettin' you to help burn off some energy is crucial."

"Never let it be said I didn't help enough." Lucy wrapped her arms around her boyfriend, "Maybe I should give you more kisses? All in the interest of being helpful, do -"

Natsu silenced Lucy with a deep drugging kiss, followed by others.

><><><

Levy dragged Gajeel down into the records room. "Shhh! Mira's gone off the deep end over this."

Gajeel closed the door and flipped the lock. "Pregnancy hormones." He shivered and rubbed his arms, "She-devil pregnancy hormones."

Without a change in expression, Levy pinched Gajeel. "It's not just that, she's making a big fuss for Erza's sake - not her own." Levy pulled out a chair from the reading table and pointed to the chair next to her. "Sit your ass down, we're going to make some decorations."

"Yer gonna have to make this up to me," Gajeel grumbled, "making me do arts'n'crafts."

Levy took out her light pen and smiled. "The more you do now, the more you get to do later."

"Gimmie some glue and glitter," Gajeel demanded, "I've got a sudden burning urge to create the best ornaments ever."

><><><

"Juvia isn't sure about this," Juvia tried to tug her hand free from Gray, "we are not running for our lives anymore, we can walk without holding hands."

"Maybe I want to," Gray blushed and held on tighter. "You've been slipping away from me all day today - not to mention yesterday. What's going on with you? Normally you never leave me alone."

"Juvia thinks it's time to give Gray space -"

"What are you talking about? I told you last week I wanted to date and now you want to break up?"

"-if we separate we can find more decorations…" Juvia stopped walking, turning to face an ashen-faced Gray. "Juvia does not want to break up."

"You nearly gave me heart failure woman!"

Juvia's eyes went huge, "Juvia is sorry! Juvia was thinking only about securing Christmas decorations and ornaments."

"Yeah, but tell me why you've been so standoffish these last couple days." Gray moved his hands to Juvia's shoulders, "I thought we were on the same page about this." He smiled. "I want to get used to you being right next to me."

"Gray, Juvia is doing her best."

"Best to leave me alone?"

"No, Juvia wants Gray to come to her too." Juvia blushed and stared at her feet.

Long, elegant fingers tilted Juvia's chin up, "I can do that." Gray brushed a gentle kiss against Juvia's lips. "Now let's go get some decorations, and later how about I show you how close we can get?"

><><><

Laki, Max and Reedus skidded to a stop out behind the guild, all breathing hard and exchanging confused looks.

"We weren't even in the fight," said Laki, "why'd we run?"

Max said, "Smart people don't argue with a pregnant Mira."

"True," said Reedus, "but since we've escaped together, let's go to my studio. I've got lots of raw material we can use to make ornaments."

"D'you have drinks too? Sounds like thirsty work to me," said Laki.

"Of course."

><><><

Droy returned swiftly and mended the Christmas tree, making Mira smile. Her smile became more and more happy as other guild members came back in twos and threes with new ornaments, garlands and unique decorations. Elfman procured what he insisted was the 'manliest' of angels (it wasn't, not by a long shot). Cana gave up a set of three tiny, crystal booze flasks and Ever handed over ten packs of tinsel. Nobody was about to ask her why. Romeo and Wendy donated colourful chains made with wrapping paper (assisted by Charle and Happy).

Levy and Gajeel made a gaudy collection of glittered gingerbread men (crafted from iron), and Lisanna kept Bickslow from helping (which was appreciated by everyone). Freed prepared a special rune spell to keep the tree from being destroyed and Gray and Juvia brought back delicate glass balls.

Most everyone was back - the guild was waiting for the last few stragglers. Natsu and Lucy swept into the hall, holding hands and looking satisfied.

Mira bustled over, "Empty hands? What about the lights?"

"I've got it under control, don't worry!" Natsu concentrated, and instantly, small and harmless dots of dragon-fire danced all over the tree. "Much nicer than regular lights, doncha think?"

Lucy giggled and murmured, "Under control," a big dreamy smile on her face.

Mira looked at Freed who nodded back, already making adjustments to his runes. Rubbing her hands briskly, Mira smiled. "Perfect. Now we're only waiting for Erza and her guest of honour."

Warren ran up and informed Mira, "They're both walking this way!"

"The Christmas Eve party is officially underway!" Mira let her eyes briefly flash demon-fire, "Let's get jolly!"

A ragged cheer went up from the mages, chatter and drinking re-commenced.

><><><

Erza dragged herself back to the guild shortly before Jellal was expected. Too anxious and upset to face the chaos she was sure dwelled inside, Erza waited on a bench before the entrance. Swinging her booted feet back and forth, she worried.

Lost in thought, she was taken unawares by Jellal's arrival. He took the opportunity to watch Erza for a bit, drinking in the sight of his lady-love. Knowing she'd be flustered to have been caught wool-gathering, Jellal purposely kicked a pebble and coughed.

He smiled and held out a hand to Erza. "You didn't need to wait for me outside."

Slowly Erza stood and took his proffered hand. "I know I didn't need to, I wanted to." Her cheeks reddened a bit more. "I lost track of time, I didn't even change my outfit."

"You look lovely, no matter what you wear." Jellal brushed road dust from his coat, "I am a little unkempt myself. I'm anxious to make amends for all my past behaviour."

"It's in the past." Erza let Jellal escort her towards the guild. "I want us to make a fresh start - not to obsess over the things that went wrong - to live and let live."

"Well said," Jellal drew Erza closer to his body, "I agree whole-heartedly - but with one caveat."

"Which would be?"

"Not everything from the past was terrible," Jellal hugged Erza, "I wouldn't change meeting you - not for any amount of jewels. The conditions were less than ideal, but I admire you as you are."

They entered the guild as Mira shouted, "Let's get jolly!" Hand in hand, Erza and Jellal added their conversation to the merry mix of revelry.

><><>< 

Close to midnight, as couples left the party - some quietly slinking away, some loudly making drunken, naughty suggestions and stumbling about (Ever could never resist doing body shots off Elfman), and a few in sets of three (Max, Laki and the broom) - the remaining mages gathered around the mended Christmas tree.

"Natsu, you did a great job with the lights on the tree." Lucy leaned her head on Natsu's shoulder. "It's so pretty."

"Pretty lame," Gray sniped, "If I'd known we could use magic, I would've covered the whole thing in glittering ice."

"Yeah, well, whatever - I don't feel like arguing with you, Princess Popsicle." Natsu lazily flipped off Gray. "Go finish your knitting."

Gray took a half-step towards Natsu, intending to punch the irritating fire mage into next week - but he caught Erza's glare (even after spending the whole evening with Jellal, Erza was quick to revert to normal habits) and instead pivoted away. Gray marched over to Juvia and grinned, "Let's go somewhere without distractions." A giant smile on her face, Juvia nodded and together they packed up her knitting basket.

Lucy and Levy waved good-bye to the departing couple, while Gajeel frowned but let them leave without more than muttering under his breath.

Mira, escorted by a clearly bored Laxus stopped to speak to the last of the partiers. "Merry Christmas! Nobody has to rush to leave, there's still food left and drinks!"

Laxus glared at the group. "Get the hell out."

Mira giggled as if Laxus had said something cute, swatting his arm. "I warned you." Her tone was sweet and light, but Laxus blanched. She took his hand and dragged him away.

Lucy looked at Levy and shrugged. "Hormones."

Gajeel looked at Natsu and shuddered. "She-devil pregnancy hormones."

It didn't come as a surprise to anyone that Levy grabbed Gajeel by the ear and dragged him off, spouting complaints about his attitude and that no pregnant woman would ever be happy to hear shit talk like that.

Lucy kissed Natsu's cheek again, wiping off the faint lipstick marks. "You really held onto your temper - even when Gray was trying to get you angry. I should reward you."

"You don't have to -" Natsu shrugged and then caught Lucy's hand in a warm grip. "But I wouldn't stop ya!"

Giggling, Lucy hurled herself into Natsu's arms. "The party was fun and it's getting late, but d'you wanna go hang out at my place?"

Natsu grinned, the tips of his fangs making an appearance, "Hells yeah!"

><><>< 

Merry Christmas!!

Tag Squad: @impracticaldemon @rocktqueen @ff-darkshininglight @unashamed-shipper @ftfanfics @fic-writer-appreciation @eliz1369 @cosmicdragonwizard @celestialspiritqueen @hidetheremote

Pros- -They throw in a lot of tidbits about different cultures. True, they end up making them a crazy supernatural version of what everything really is (that’s even cooler though kinda), but I’m surprised they knew about specific kinds of yokai, and what the word “eejit” is. There’s one culture in particular they do overlook, but I’ll get to that.

-Sometimes the humor is actually really smart and funny.

-The fact that they’ve said they’re not birds throws me the frick off?? Like, I guess it’s like how Hello Kitty’s not a “cat”, and actually? In spite of it being a joke, that’s a pretty interesting thing to touch on.

-The idea of the story itself is pretty badass.

-In the end, they do sort out everything I was worried they’d forget about; the story remembers where it went and where it’s going (for the most part).

-I know this counts as more culture, but they did end up getting a Mexican to voice Panchito again, so that’s nice.

-The ending was honestly really satisfying.

-Daisy’s nieces are awesome.

-The score is pretty good too (mostly because hearing all those different renditions of the Caballeros’ theme song was pretty great).

-The designs on everything are pretty good.

-I liked the coloring.

-They remembered some of the Don Rosa lore, and some other stuff from old Disney, and that was a fun throwback.

-They did actually mention “Ari” is an Aracuan bird (at first I thought they went “Eh, kids won’t be able to pronounce that.”).

-Speaking of, props to them for keeping the original scream he makes.

-Honestly Sheldgoose and Feldrake’s fighting with eachother was the one bit of cheesy humor I actually enjoyed. Kinda reminded me of the Disney Afternoon shows involving the Disney Ducks.

-The theme song is pretty dang awesome. It’s just their old theme from the movie revamped for an adventure show, but man do they make it work. Did you know the melody of that song is from an old Mexican movie tune called “Ay, Jalisco no te rajes”?

Cons- -I don’t like what they did with Daisy at all. Disney makes her 1-dimensional and mean a lot of the time, and unfortunately this was one of those times. She was never mad at Donald for the right reasons, and when she finally did have a reason, they didn’t address it properly until the end. April, May, and June were extremely smart and cool for typical “girl” side-characters, why can’t she be?

-Speaking of Donald, the mention of him having an anger problem came out of nowhere (for his circumstances in this show at least). His life was absolutely miserable through no fault of his own, so of course that’s going to make him angry. But everyone kept telling him it was his fault and that’s unfair. Then out of nowhere, he actually is irrationally angry at everything. It could have been written better. They kinda had that out-of-the-blue-problem thing with some other chars too. *AHEMXANDRAAHEM*

-This is my biggest personal nitpick. José is from Brazil, which is a Portuguese-speaking country, meaning it’s not Hispanic. Therefore, his name is not pronounced the way it normally is in Spanish; It’s Zho-zay. This show isn’t the only Disney program to make this mistake though. Ever since he came back in the 90s, his name has been pronounced Ho-say, so I guess people have gotten it into their heads that’s how it is. I wish this weren’t the case though, because I don’t believe that literally no one has mentioned this to any execs. I thought an awesome idea of a show like this one would be the one to break the mold, but I guess not. It mostly bugs me because, as I’ve said before, it means you’re lumping in one Latino culture with another just because Mexico is closer to the US. Brazil is the one LA country that speaks a Latino language besides Spanish, guys! Also, he’s voiced by the White Pantera guy; a Canadian imitating a Mexican. Come on, guys, you can do better than that if you already found a Mexican for Panchito! I always felt that if you don’t wanna pronounce his name properly every time, just call him Joe, like they did in the 40s.

-Speaking of José and Panchito, I personally don’t like entirely where they went with their characters in this version. To be fair, I think they’re sort of mashing up different versions of them from other renditions, like Zé in the Brazilian comics and Joe from the 40s films, and Donald from his shorts and the more harmlessly angry version in the kids’ stuff now, but honestly I think I’d like it if they reversed Joe and Pancho’s personalities; if Joe was more adorably derpy and Pancho was more oblivious and flirtatious. That goes for their voices as well. I prefer the higher voiced Joe and the lower voiced Pancho.

-One other teeny tiny thing about Panchito: I wish that signature grito he has in the show didn’t sound so fake. (“Ya-woooo!” Huh??)

-While I’m at it, I can’t say his original last name was accurate (Pistoles isn’t a real word), I can’t say I like how Disney adopted the long-ass name they gave him in House of Mouse either. Gonzales at least is a pretty boring name. Also House of Mouse is the WEIRDEST PLACE to establish canon from (the song where they made up his name is also a bit culturally inaccurate in the first place)...

-Even though sometimes the humor makes me actually laugh, most of the time, it’s far, far too cheesy and childish for me.

-My overall feeling when I wasn’t enjoying the show was that I was sacrificing quality just to see my favorite trio, and that’s not a happy feeling.

-Their songs (or at least the timing of them) weren’t the best, and they bored me a little.

-The follow-up from the first episode could have been executed better; far less like a “Okay we’re here now, cool? Cool”.

-The animation could be better; It’s a little cheap and puppety (can’t blame them though, there doesn’t seem to be much leeway with the staff budget-wise).

-There are some plot holes here and there. Technical ones.

-Little nitpick, going back to the aracuan: His noises could have been better/funnier, apart from the scream which was perfect.

-I’m reeeeeally really tired of the because-they’re-classic-cartoons-and-not-the-main-characters-they’re-dumb-as-a-post-to-what’s-going-around-them thing. I honestly think it’s far funnier when modern shows break that trope and go “Yeah, what’d you think, they WEREN’T going to notice that giant bear running around the restaurant, or hear what the main is muttering?”.

-When you read the show’s bible, you can kind of see where the flaws in character writing are. They’re trying a bit too hard to fit an age group, and are returning a bit too much to the classic cartoons’ characterization. Those were random shorts, with completely different settings, and some archetypes just can’t be done anymore.

-The show hasn’t even aired yet and Disney’s giving it the short end of the stick. As a Wander Over Yonder fan, I know that pain all too well.

-Overall it could be a better show, and for how awesome the idea is, it’s disappointing that they couldn’t make it just as awesome off-paper.

Hopes for improvement next season- -Represent *AHEM* certain characters a bit better. P-L-E-A-S-E be the first Disney show in decades to pronounce his name right at the very least, PLEASE.

-Treat the characters much much better.

-Make every episode as fun and as fair as the finale.

-Make the humor more universal.

-If the writers write something THEY think is cool! It’s not impossible to write kids’ shows that way. All that humor I actually liked? You could tell those were jokes written for THEM!

-If it’s possible, maybe cut out some of the boy-girl romance that seems to be randomly stuck in. Why did independent Xandra need a hot guy in that one episode? (I also feel like Pancho and Joe don’t need no chick.) Nothing unnecessary! Only fun! >:3c

-More cultural tidbits would be great!