#mikhail sergachev

Note: based on vibes & online personas, not the actual people themselves IRL

Gabriel Landeskog as: The stage manager trying to make sure his circus & his monkeys are controlled chaos only, thank you very much

Mikhail Sergachev, William Nylander, David Pastrnak, and Martin Necas as: The wardrobe department that nails the assignment despite having the budget of $5.75, two cigarette butts, and a dream

Leon Draisaitl and Sebastian Aho as: The bitchy set builders that talk shit about everyone but also will cut a bitch on your behalf if you ask

Brent Burns as: The Props Master who pulls anything and everything out of his bag that’s almost as big as he is

Seth Jarvis and William Eklund as: Burnsie’s “assistants” who mostly just ragebait the cast by hiding their props in the most insane places you can think of (and even some places you can’t)

Devon Toews as: The head of the lighting design team who is Over Everyone’s Shit but acts as the shoulder to cry/vent on as needed

Arber Xhekaj as: The sound designer who gets way too much of a kick out of doing the mic checks (and who steals the wardrobe team’s snacks)

Brad Marchand and Patrice Bergeron as: The dance captains who take their job seriously but also have been banned from changing the choreo again, oh my God—

Nathan MacKinnon as: The guy who keeps running lines even in the bathroom post-rehearsal and who brings his own snacks (he’d share but they smell weird and nobody else wants them)

Connor McDavid as: The guy who wants the lead role but keeps getting the second-most important role in the show

Macklin Celebrini as: The first-year student who’s already the understudy to the leading man and you want to be annoyed at him, but he’s endearing & talented enough to get away with it

Cale Makar as: The guy who’s probably had the stomach flu three times and multiple physical injuries since the cast list dropped, but powers through out of sheer “go fuck yourself” energy