Rotundo: But do ya have to slap that Camel Clutch pic right on the cover?? I mean, I look like a sweaty, no talent jobber here! My grandad reads this magazine fer crissakes!!

Editor: Sorry kid -- Beefcake sells magazines. Our readers are hungry for Beefcake! And I know from experience - every drop of sweat pouring down his big bronze pecs means a thousand copies flying off the shelves.

Rotundo: But at least find a more flattering snapshot of me! I look so broken, like he's doin me Doggy Style! And that pinfall photo on page 4 is even more humiliating!

Editor: Tell ya what kid, I won't put your name in the caption-- will that cheer you up? The readers won't be paying attention to you anyway with HIS massive torso bursting off the page.

Rotundo: Gee, thanks a lot, Henry. You really know how to build up a guy's confidence.

Editor: Take it from me, kid -- and I been pedaling this jerk-off bait for 20 years -- Go hit the gym, lose that gut. Once you notice other fellas giving you the once over, you'll know you're ready to be Man-Candy of the Month on a cover!"