#midipostz

Alucard *offering packet: "... blood?"

Pip: "sure, thank----WHAT???"

... if you'll excuse me I need to bury my hand... artist woes... this was NOT planned and that bastard, Alucard, tricked me into this and my hand my damn hand I'll get him for this I swear I fucking swear...

🌷

Pip arrives at Seras's house to pick her up for their yes-she-agreed-to-it date, a bouquet of daisies in hand. Ever the confident Frenchman. Rings the doorbell. Alucard answers, cast in all black shadow, emanating evil scarlet energy, eyes glowing bloody orbs, "... may I help you." Not a question. A statement.

Pip's flowers give a collective tiny shriek before pulling petals into their blooms to implode in a mass floral suicide. Pip's confidence went with them. "I, uh... im here to... t-to take out... your daughter....pleasedonteatme Mr. VladSir..."

Alucard finally smiles and Pip wishes he hadnt. "Oh yes. That. I've been helping her get ready all evening."

Pip harbors the hope that this is Dadcard's approval, mustering a nervous smile. "Ain't that nice-! I'm sure she'll look great in whatever dear ol' really old dad picked out for her!"

"Waves of your blood-?"

"Huh????"

"-nothing. No, she can choose her own clothes."

"Then... how were you... helping... ... ..." Pip knows he shouldnt be asking. Confirmed when Alucard's smile broadens.

"Ive been going over old techniques with her. You know... patience in killing until out of public places... the many graceful angles from which to rip out a human throat... body-hiding 101... ... nothing special. What every father teaches his offspring."

From somewhere, Pip's sense of humor woke up unaware of the danger, "Gee... no refreshers on impalement-?"

Alucard leaned through the doorway, smile getting bigger still. "Can you believe her mother beat me to that one earlier?" He threw his head back laughing at the humor. Pip couldnt even.

Enter Seras, unstopable ball of optimistic energy. After exchanges with her father, she latches onto Pip's arm, dragging him down the walk to his car. "Bye, dad~! Don't have too much fun without me! Seriously--remember last week when I went to the store...!"

"I wont, dear, your mother will be home any minute to keep me out of trouble and help me sharpen our skinning blades before you get home!" He winks at Pip. "Have her home before sunrise!" To Pip's eyes only Alucard mouths: "Or you wont ever see a sunrise again...!"

The last thing Pip sees is demonic Alucard waving them off very slowly, sporting his huge sharky grin.

🌷

Only after did I think it could have been Alex with holy water, but this is funnier, for what its worth, lol.