#mickey 17

the scene itself! ok you know i love the film, and it has so many moments i adore, but this thank you for dinner scene is in the top 5 because there's just. so. much. happening!

right before this scene we get 17 huffy and riling himself up to confront 18 for 'stealing' nasha away from him. not too long ago 18 was moments away from killing him. moments ago he was puking his guts out because the nice dinner turned out to be another lab rat test and just barely got out of being euthanized. moments ago he was trying to help out a friend through her grief and was again hit with the knowledge she didn't see him as a person- a partner who respects nasha.

he's getting ready for a confrontation as fatal as their first meeting.

instead he's faced with high and horny nasha + 18.

18 who told nasha of their deal and was gonna follow through. and then we get him twirling 17's hair!! i know the big joke is how 'actually your clone wants to fuck your regardless of your feelings' but that doesn't mean 18 Liked 17! i'm confident half of that twirl was from genuine lust but also wanting to fuck with 17. a big part of 18 is all the anger mickey suppressed finally getting to breathe, and part of that hatred is directed to his weaker self. if he can't kill 17, he's gonna fuck around with him. after that twirl he doesn't pay any attention to 17, staying focused on nasha. this makes me think that even without kai's interruption it would have taken 17 + 18 a bit longer to fuck each other, instead both trying to one up the other by focusing on nasha.

but kai does interrupt, and we're left with the most relaxed 18 ever is. a relaxed 18 who attempts to ease 17's anxiety, and even asks about 17's day:

what did that asshole serve for dinner? Was it good at least?

and then we get to the blow up!!

18 is fucking angry. he throws the cup of juice (what was in that thing?) at the tv, right at Marshall instead of the very convenient target 17 provides.

"So let me get this straight. You were shitting your pants on the floor, and he comes up and stabs you in the neck with a syringe? That's what happened?" "I wasn't, like, shitting my pants. I was just puking up a little bit." "That's not the point!"

that's not the point indeed!! would you say the point is how so far, injection of any liquid led to a very painful death? is it how vulnerable 17 was left after ingesting poison, so much so he couldn't even fight against forced penetration? (yes i'm making a rape allegory, this whole movie is about how mickey's body isn't fucking his, how he finds solace in one person, nasha, and one way they survive those hellish conditions is by having fulfilling sex. don't tell me it's not that deep) but i digress!

what i love about this is we get a brief cut after the above back to nasha cutting kai down, specifically we get the line:

Mickey is not some cookie you can split in half.

so we're getting more evidence of mickey not being considered a person, of how kai only sees mickey as an object that will help her get over her grief, and how nasha is the only person to acknowledge and respect mickey's personhood.

additionally, that cut gives us like 5 seconds of mystery time between the mickeys. granted i doubt any dialogue was exchanged, but i did make it a point in my fic after "that's not the point!" to have 18's inner thoughts stray more towards the 'am i fantasizing about how my weaker self looks whimpering under me or is it just righteous anger at any version of me getting hurt?' (reader's hint: it's both)

and look at where we arrived!! we're here, everybody stay calm!

"So, then after Marshall fucks you sideways, you really let him have it, right? Right? …. What did you say?" "I just said— I just said, "Thank you for dinner." "You said what?" "Thank you for dinner."

going purely by canon, ignoring my fic and thoughts, 18 just chastised 17 for deflecting the vulnerable position he was in after vomiting. now he's focusing on the after. he's not thinking about what 17 actually said/did, he's essentially begging 17 to acknowledge what was done to him was fucked up. because that's one of 17's biggest issues, he does not view (what i think purposefully ignoring) his treatment as lesser than/inhumane. he'd rather pretend/believe that his deaths are meaningless, that his pain is temporary, that he's not as isolated as he is. going back to 18's anger, we know he refuses to stay quiet and 'allow' the treatment to continue. (quotes because i'm aware of the power dynamics. 18, however, does not give a shit.)

i lead with all that because 18 wants a confirmation that 17 understands what was done to him is wrong. more than anything he's imagining what his own reaction if that was done, which is then why we get that brief pause. the steps he takes closer to 17 as he said "what did you say?" shows that he knows 17 wasn't throwing punches, but he still expected some type of rebellion.

which is when we get, let's say it all together folks!

thank you for dinner.

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

i ADORE this moment. we know what's coming, 17 knows what's coming. he hesitates and stutters and we watch with bated breath.

and you know what 18 does not disappoint. he goes nuclear XD.

for the entire conversation, 18 has been keeping his voice down. it strains and his movements are pretty erratic, but he doesn't yell other than that one time. in fact, he doesn't insult 17 at all previously.

and all his anger at his treatment boils over at confirmation that 17 still, not only 'allowed' the treatment, but that he continues to buy and feed into the lie that mickey's treatment is worthy of gratefulness, that he's being treated with dignity and respect- all directed towards Marshall. 18 already has an abysmal view towards the ship's inhabitants, nasha is the Only exception, but his regards towards Marshall, the one to pioneer the hell trip, is lower than hell.

i'd compare it to a friend you care about revealing that they went back to the ex that abused them.

so clearly 18 does his thing and starts berating and mocking 17, the loudest he's ever been.

"I guess… I guess I am kind of a loser." "What? Is that what you are? Huh? Is it?"

i would like to briefly applaud 17 for this moment because for all intents and purposes, staying relatively calm in front of your clone that was willing to kill you within 0.05 seconds of seeing you while screaming at you is honestly impressive. i know i had 18 call 17 a crybaby but he really doesn't cry at all (i might be wrong but i don't think i am) throughout the film.

but more into this line exchange, i feel for both of them because 17 right here is definitely falling back on how he reacts towards the ship members. ie, the people who mistreat him. he's placating 18, agreeing with his assessment and not moving from his place. this might be a reach, but the way i read that line isn't necessarily 17 thinking he's a loser, but thinking if he agrees, it will calm 18.

(ok brief interlude. i don't think 17's self esteem is as bad as some people think. i love the sopping wet dog descriptor, but he has a pretty solid sense of self. i'll need to make a separate post collecting these moments, but what comes to mind is 17 talking to dorothy about mimicking the creeper's noises. like dude is being walked towards his execution and yet still gets excited at someone else noticing the creeper's behaviour like shut up i love him)

ok back on schedule 👍.

so obviously 18 recognizes 17 trying to placate him, and instead escalates to test any reflex to fight back.

"It's not your fault. "Let's kill that fucker."

*twirls my hair* heeyyyy so you know how i said earlier 18 mocking 17 was the loudest he ever was?

yeah so this is the quietest he is and it. fucking. broke me. he visibly backs away, venting his frustration with one long muffled scream, and gives 17 so much space.

it's not an apology but fuck it's as close as 18 can offer. he not only stops himself from hurting 17, but also redirects his anger to the person actually responsible for all this pain and anger. hey 18, you're already doing better than like, a good chunk of humanity rn.

i do love that there is that breath between both lines. really lets that shit sizzle and then rounds it off with a new goal.

this is the end of the scene, 18 later just shoves 17 into the bathroom i think while he terminator marches his way to his target. but fuckiinnggg hell i hope this can give you a better picture as to why i immediately latched onto this scene. the contrast of such a ruthless character deciding to gentle his touch and assign himself the role of avenger *chef's kiss.* and i know i focused on 18, but this scene could have gone far worse if 17 wasn't who he is. my brain is a little too latched on 18 at the moment but if 17 didn't stand his ground, all 5 inches of it, or was any more squirrelly or more frightened then the exchange would fall flat. it wouldn't have the same tension of 17 trying to navigate 18's anger.

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ok now we're getting into shit i want to make clear because again, i love talking, and as much as i love the thank you for dinner scene it is short and i can only fit so much lmao.

so! first and foremost i just wanna say that i don't think 18 realizes he wants to fuck 17 until like, way later. i know authors love this particular scene to jump into threesome / selfcest sex, with kai not interrupting or 18 not turning on the tv / mentioning the dinner respectively.

however i will unfortunately be the naysayer because i don't think either would be ready to have sex with each other </3 . actually that's a lie i think 17 would be closer than 18 but that's for another post.

i already went pretty deep into my feelings of the scene and some of my thoughts crept in on the first portion

however, since only protective mickey 18 is canonized and not possessive mickey 18 as well, i might as well make my case here :P.

the reasoning behind my claim won't have as much dialogue as the above section (because the above section is the only section i've been dissection word by action by tone by expression cough cough) but i would like to submit the visceral hunger 18 has towards his life. he was willing to kill his clone. yes 17 was as well but he didn't rise with eery robotic calm nor hesitate throwing that dumbbell.

i'd also like to submit the touches on nasha as evidence. i think part of why he was so aggressive (hand groping her waist trailing down her ass) was because 17 was watching. i can't remember but i think he was kissing her neck as 17 was following them? and obviously he let his voice echo enough to let 17 know they're gonna be fucking while he attends an unavoidable dinner.

i lose track after the dinner scene (i don't need to get into any closer detail on that scene lmao) because there's too much plot happening to let us see 18's personality more.

(other side note, i do wanna compare the question each mickey asks big mamma, but idk if that will give me more evidence </3)

but anyways! this fic i definitely wanted to focus on transitioning the initial feelings of anger/distate -> condescending acceptance -> anger again at someone hurting something his. and voila! his possessive stride is now including 17.

additionally, i took the 'habanero' comment nasha said and went 'bet.' so now mickey 18 is a sadist solely to 17. i don't think any mickey would want to explore pain in depth with nasha. she probably wouldn't say no, i think she has her own unique attitude towards pain since she's in a defender role that puts her in the front lines, but i don't think either of them would want to delve too deep. i love our canon couple :( . but yes, i won't say they're vanilla cause they're not, but they just don't do pain play to each other.

however!!!!! the mickeys provide a unique opportunity where 18 can take control of the injuries inflicted onto mickey, giving him bruises but nothing that lasts. because a lot of the pain they experienced is fatal. dismemberment of a hand, hemorrhaging, lethal virus and gases- it hurts but it's also permanent. there's definitely something in 17 that perks up at the bruises, muscle and skin that worsens as it heals, but it heals. it stays for a bit and then leaves. mickey rarely has the opportunity to build up callouses or scars.

it's fucky and they both get hard over it, but it'll take a minute for either to realize!!

so that's why if you were curious or didn't pick up the sexual vibes in the fic. i really liked trying to toe the line of 18 trying to imagine attributes that are erotic but also apply as results from the pain (bad) inflicted by Marshall (fuck him 🖕)

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i mentioned this in the tags before, but i first started off just quickly looking at the scene (skipping nasha's callout i'm sorry queen 😔) muted while writing down their dialogue + jotting significant actions. This did make the scene pretty funny because 18's grunts and unhinged expressions were isolated and highlighted lol. i'm particularly fond of his grunting thing towards 17 after calling him a loser.

after that, maybe 20 mins going back and forth capturing what i thought was the beginning of the thank you for dinner, I started just writing purely inner thoughts of 18 following each line. I was halfway when i idly thought of coding it so only the dialogue would appear first glance, and hovering your mouse over each line would give you the inner thoughts 18 had about them. but i quickly scraped it because the dialogue is only roughly 18 lines each which would kill the flow of the fic. even if i did get really creative or technical by making sure i cut the dialogue to have the same lines as my fic or whatever, i didn't love the look of a 10 word line popping out over 50 words XP.

i'll probably keep that idea in the back burner for a future project because it unfortunately didn't fit this fic </3.

but yeah i got the bare bones onto my doc, but i still wanted to incorporate some of the dialogue to allow readers an easier understanding of the scene without pulling up a script in another tab and play detective trying to fit each line between paragraphs >_> . so i was like ok! let's change colors, i know ao3 allows for that.

dear reader, it was not as easy changing text color in ellipsus and hoping the html copy + paste would grab it TwT

i was doing all this on my phone btw, because i was technically gonna leave it alone for the next day and put my laptop away, but the color idea hit me -_-' . so! i looked up tutorials as html first, gave in and added ao3 into my search bar, and then got the bright idea to change opacity after i already made the color skin 🫠 .

my reasoning to use opacity instead of color was that it's easier to go around 50~70% opacity than opening the fic After posting in incognito to make sure the gray i chose was legible in the original ao3 site skin (i use a grey instead of white.) in the end i gave it up and just continued adding the gray html on mobile, saved draft and passed the fuck out.

first draft 2.0 was done! but i was around 800+ words then and worried that mickey 18 wasn't possessive enough so i kept fiddling and added 200+ words until voila! i was finally free \o/