okay im gonna post the intro snippet to this fic before i can convince myself not to just to put feelers out there. is any of this severely out of character for these three. does this sound like. good. is this a good balance of funny. bear with me
Ugh, okay. It all started out with a joke.
The on-site player’s cafeteria in Tennis Paradise was mostly empty - except for the three of them, as most players had already returned to their hotel rooms. It wasn’t necessarily late; there were a few matches still playing out on the tv’s nearby, but it was just late enough for obnoxiously loud laughter and, apparently, bad brain-to-mouth filters.
Now, João knew Learner and Alex were together. They had been for some time now, to his knowledge. They never, like, explicitly told him, but João wasn’t stupid. He’s seen how they look at each other. Honestly, he probably clocked it the day he met them both.
He’s also noticed how they’ll look at him, too, when they don’t think he’s paying attention. João tries not to think about it too hard. They have each other; he’s definitely imagining things.
Anyway, João knows they’re dating. And have probably, like, done stuff. That’s what makes this conversation increasingly embarrassing.
“Dude.” João cuts off Alex’s bewildered voice with a miserable noise, red face buried in his hands at the small table they sit at. “Never? Like, never never? There’s actually no way.”
João doesn’t warrant that with a response, but Learner’s joining in anyway, adding fuel to the fire that is shaming João for his love life in a semi-public setting. “You’re like, 19. How have you not-?”
The Brazilian sinks into his chair, and it’s not dramatic; it’s actually entirely warranted given the embarrassment of this situation, thank you very much.
You see, he didn’t think before he spoke, so he kinda brought this upon himself. Alex made a stupid, crude joke, something about João and celebrating with a bunch of girls after winning trophies, making him sound incredibly sleazy. In an attempt to clear his own name and save his honor, João spoke up, defensive with a “I’ve never even-” before cutting himself off when he realized what he’d said.
Alex leans over the table towards João’s slumped figure, whispering like this is some top government secret. “You’ve seriously never,” he pauses to look around, as if there’s really anyone in the cafeteria besides them and a few other players loitering around on the other side of the room, lowering his voice impossibly more, “had sex?”
Another despairing sound, filtering off into words that border on whiny, accent a little thicker with flustered shame. “I don’t see why it’s a big deal!” He urges, refusing to look either of his friends in the eye.
Learner practically scoffs, looking at João incredulously. “I don’t believe you,” He says with a shrug of disbelief, tone full of finality, “You’re fucking with us.” To which João finally takes his face out of his hands to glare.
“Oh, yeah, because I totally want you guys to believe I’m… you know-” João fades off only to be interrupted by Alex. “- A virgin?” He finishes for him, shit-eating grin on his face. João kicks him from under the table.
While Alex dramatically reaches down to rub his shin in mock-pain, João looks between the two of them with curiosity shining through the mortification. “Why is it so hard to believe, anyway? I’ve been too busy with tennis to focus on any of… that.” He tries to reason, though he just kinda ends up sounding like a loser. He’s drumming his fingers against the table, a nervous habit.
Alex and Learner share a bit of a look, as if they’re looking for an answer to João’s question from each other. Learner speaks up first, looking a bit like he’s scrambling for an explanation. “Well.. like… you’re you? You’re João.” As if that makes any sense.
Alex doubles down on it. “Yeah! Like, if I thought anyone would be having sex, it’d be you. Not that I think you sleep around or something, but, y’know what I mean.” He shrugs, and no, he does not know what he means. João squints at them both, suspicious and still keyed up with humiliation.
He ends up rolling his eyes, the chair making a loud screech against the floor as he stands. João grabs his phone off the table and murmurs his words, face still a pretty shade of red. “Whatever, I’m going back to the hotel. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” He concludes, turning away and walking out before Learner or Alex can get a word in after him.
It’s silent for a few seconds once João has fully left the cafeteria, Learner and Alex staring at the door he exited. Alex breaks it, leaning back in his seat a bit as he runs a hand down his face. “So.”
Learner just nods, “Yeah.”
