#michael polansky

Wish he wore tighter clothes, but these are pretty nice.

A series of every day life scenes with Gaga and Michael Polansky.

Part 6 - Deciding the future in a hotel room in NYC

Michael Polansky was pretending to sleep. He pulled deep breaths and focused on calming his heart beats as he knew the woman next to him was still awake as well. He slowly opened his eyes and observed her neck and the fine hairs on her nape. The dark hairs glittered when the pale light touched her neck and shoulder. He could just about distinguish the rose that was tattooed along her spine. My god, you are exceptional, he thought and sighed without realizing it. He quickly closed his eyes when she turned around.

He felt her eyes on his face. It felt like she observed him for an eternity. His arm was getting numb, his nose itched. Everything was suddenly so uncomfortable. All he could think about was the baby she was carrying. Or it wasn’t a baby yet, but it was something they had created together and it made his love for her so strong he felt like his chest couldn’t contain it. Every day, every night he was patiently waiting for her to decide what to make of the future. He wanted it so bad – with her – only her, but he understood it was a decision only she could make and every second they were together he had to stop himself from asking her about it.

…

Lady Gaga looked at her boyfriend’s face and tried to piece their future together. She could sense that he pretended to sleep, but didn’t want him to know that she was awake as well. The dark lashes stayed firmly locked against his cheeks and his mouth was slightly open. One arm was tucked under the pillow and the other under his head. It seemed so easy for him. To have a baby, the most natural thing in the world – a little mini version of yourself. She was terrified. It felt like the end. But also not. How would she explain it to him?

She wished she could picture herself go through nine months of bliss and becoming a mother. The timing wasn’t even that bad. She didn’t have to turn her life upside down. And even if it did mess things up, then… so what the fuck did it matter? It’s not like she ever fucked up before. She turned over on her back and stared at the ceiling. Michael opened his eyes again and watched her flawless side profile in the gray light, the glittering eyes and her parted lips. Her chest moved slowly as she pulled a deep breath.

…

At some point Gaga must’ve fallen asleep because when she woke up it was still night or early dawn, but she noticed the change in breathing and the relaxed features on Michael’s face. A calm, dreamless sleep, she thought and wanted to touch him to feel his warmth. But she didn’t want to wake him up. He looked boyish and almost had a content smile on his lips. His face was nearly buried into the pillow and his shoulders were pulled up.

She felt restless and the thoughts immediately started spinning around in her head again. It was like she had a million unfinished things to take care of and the problems just kept piling up when it was just this one thing she had to acknowledge. As soon as it was done she knew she would feel so much more on top of things. Her body felt heavy and she struggled to get out of the bed and untangle her legs and feet from the blankets.

The hotel bedroom was dark and only a slight streak of the emerging morning light made its way through a glitch between the drapes. Most of the clothes Michael had worn were neatly put on one of the chairs by the bedroom doors, but his pants had fallen onto the floor and when she tried to sneak past the chairs she felt something hard under the arch of her foot and nearly tripped.

“Fuck!” she spat out as she managed to regain her balance by grabbing the chair. The bumping caused the clothes to slip down on the floor and she squatted to scoop them up. She tried to be quiet, but suddenly stopped and held his clothes in her hands. Feeling the expensive fabric of his shirt and raised it to her nose to smell it. His aftershave. But also his scent. So familiar and safe. He had looked so good in his suit. Her teddybear. She stroke the collar of the jacket and thought of telling him to hang it up and not dropping it on a chair. Then she thought of how she was way sloppier than he was and rolled her eyes.

“I’m such a dumbass,” she whispered but hesitated when she noticed the shape of a hard, boxy item inside one of the pockets of his pants. It must be what she had stepped on, she told herself. Without really thinking, she took out the tiny box.

Her heart felt like it dropped into her guts as she held it and rubbed the surface of it. She didn’t even need to see the turquoise color of the box to figure out exactly what was in it.

Even if she knew it was so wrong she couldn’t help but open it.

”Mickey…” she whispered for herself.

The ring was beautiful. A round center diamond, with ribbons or wings on each side that were covered in pavé diamonds and placed along the platinum band. She pulled an audible breath just as a single streak of light hit the handmade ring. It was lavish, but still elegant.

She sank down to the floor and stared at the ring for several seconds until she heard the sound of the man moving in the bed a few feet behind her. She was speechless and just about managed to snap the box close before she turned to face him.

”Are you up?” he mumbled, but froze when he saw what she had in her hand. Their eyes met. “I can explain.”

“Mickey… I-”

”Stef, listen. It’s… my god… not like this.” He stared at her and realized he was completely unprepared for this moment no matter how many times he had pictured it in his head. This was not how it was supposed to happen. He bit his lip and ran his fingers through his locks.

”You know what I’ve said,” she said and didn’t know if she wanted to hit him or throw her arms around him.

”I’m not gonna… wait.” He got out of the bed, slowly approached her and got down on his knees in front of her. She was naked apart from her tiny lace panties and her soft skin looked pale in the dim light. He felt clumsy and awkward and not romantic at all when he sat down opposite her. She on the other hand always looked comfortable, sexy and natural no matter what. She was beautiful now too, with her dark eyelids, swollen pink lips, loose messy hair, and he thought of how he couldn't imagine a life without that woman.

”Mickey?” She choked up as she spoke. She looked teary eyed and he didn’t know if she was touched, sad, angry or happy at this point. Michael knew it certainly wasn’t the right time to put more on her plate. It was obvious she understood what was in the box and what the ring inside it was for. He cursed at his recklessness. He could’ve made sure she wouldn’t find it, but she never touched his things.

“I wanted to wait until after you decided…” He tried to figure out a way to tell her everything and rubbed his chin while he took a deep breath. He looked at her, smiled and brazed himself not to fumble the words. She looked back up at him and he instantly felt how her glowing, green-eyed gaze gripped inside his chest. You certainly have my whole heart in your hand, he thought and scooted closer until he could put his hands on her narrow shoulders.

”I had it made and I planned to ask you, but then you said you were pregnant and I wanted to wait, no matter what your decision would be I was still going to ask.” Michael tried to make complete sentences in his head, but it felt like his brain was leapfrogging every second word so he closed his eyes and took a breath. ”Please, I can’t think and I think too much at the same time. But if you want to keep the… our… baby, I want to ask you because it feels right. And if you don’t right now… then maybe one day. When the time is right…“

He hesitated and made a sound like he was trying not to laugh. ”I don’t know if I’m proposing or asking you to have a baby with me. But I just can’t deal with pretending I don’t care what happens next. Give the woman a microphone and she’ll save the world… but… I… I’m just… here waiting…” He let his shoulders drop as to tell her he was done. ”Life is too short anyway, isn’t it. You know how I feel.” He wanted to kiss her and hold her and love her, but thought he needed to give her space to think. He looked at her with his head slightly bent down and pressed his lips together.

”Honey…” Her head was tilted to the side and she closed her eyes as she couldn’t even get herself to say the words. Her hand was covering her eyes and Michael couldn’t see if she was crying or smiling.

Of course she couldn’t decide not to have their baby, she thought.

“I love you,“ she whispered and finally met his confused gaze.

“Oh Stef, you know I love you so much. But… did you open it already?” He cleared his throat and looked at her hands.

She still held the box really tight in one hand as if it would fly away. He could see how the muscles in her arm were tense and the tiny hairs on her skin stood up like she was cold.

His eyes were shining with anticipation and the golden streaks in his honey colored eyes glittered. She rubbed her forehead with one hand, inhaled fast and glanced at him briefly as if she just remembered why they were on the floor.

”No.”

”Stef, you might be an excellent actress but now you’re a terrible liar.” He smiled, looked down for a second until he met her eyes again. ”You can always say no. It’s OK.”

”Babe?” She could hardly see him when her eyes teared up. “I’m so scared.” She paused. “But it seems like we’re gonna be parents.”

“We’re gonna be parents?” His voice was husky when he repeated her words without realizing what he said at first. It took a few seconds then he raised his hand to her cheek and caressed her neck. Then he nodded and his eyes widened. “Yes?”

He took the box from her hand while she looked directly at him. She looked at his messy locks, his rough chin, nothing but his boxer briefs on and his eyes full of honest excitement. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and put her closed fist in front of her mouth. Was she happy? Was this a panic attack?

”Mickey, honestly. You don’t have to do this now.” She wiped her nose and tried to smile. Not that she couldn’t wait to put the ring on, but it was just too overwhelming at the moment.

”We can do it unofficially, since you already know,” he said and pulled her into his lap and kissed her softly on the temple. She leaned her back against his chest and looked at him intertwining his hands with hers in front of them as he whispered against her ear. ”I love you. I just want you to know that.”

”I know, babe. I love you too,” she said and kissed the arm that he was resting on her shoulder. She wanted to disappear inside his warm, strong embrace right this moment.

”I don’t know what to say… I prepared it in my head, but I think I lost my cue notes.” He laughed a small laugh. “So I’ll just wing it, and I apologize in advance because you’re gonna hate it…”

He pulled a deep breath. ”I love you. You are incredible, I know it’s a cliche but I honestly never loved anyone the way I love you, the way you love, limitless, your massive heart and open mind and care for everyone around you. And Stef… You are the most beautiful person I know. I can never get enough of you.” He closed his eyes and kissed her neck as softly as he could.

She felt his chest heave against her back as he breathed, his warm body and his arms around her. Her own heart was beating way too hard at the moment. She felt like it would pop out of her chest any second and she held his arm harder and waited for him to speak again.

Michael exhaled. “Stefani, will you marry me?” He opened the box and felt like a proper idiot for some reason. Why would she want him? I’m a clown, he thought. He closed his eyes and waited for her to laugh and tell him to get dressed and pack his things. It’s just a ring. And it doesn’t change anything, he told himself. Or… it changes everything…

”Baby. I do.” Her voice was loud and clear even if she said it softly.

He felt her hands on his nape. Her arms were raised to reach around his neck and caressed his cheeks to make him meet her gaze. A single remaining tear fell down her cheek, her nose looked shiny and red. She smiled and her lashes were wet. She raised her chin to kiss him and felt his hands tremble when he fumbled to find the right finger to put the ring on. ”I’m gonna pass out soon, I’m sorry,” he mumbled and she tried not to laugh.

”It fits,” he whispered and caressed her hand. The delicate veins, her warm soft skin. ”I love you.”

Gaga turned around so they sat on the floor opposite each other. Michael’s hand was on her waist and he leaned closer to kiss her again. He felt her hands on his neck, pulling him towards her face.

Her amazing soft skin, the peachy hairs, her petite body. He placed both hands on her hips. Felt her warmth and pulled her into his lap. Her soft breasts pressed against his chest. She kissed him harder. Her lips were wet from her salty tears and he felt her nose against his cheek.

“I love you,” he mumbled. “I love you so much.” He moved his hands up her back, caressed her skin and felt her lips press against his. Soft, hungry kisses that turned him on. Her tongue melted with his, her hands on his face.

Gaga wrapped her legs around Michael’s waist. He kissed her neck and chest, softly moved his palms over her nipples and stroke her body down to her waist. Her hands were on his back, running her nails up to his nape and pulling his hair. He smelled a kind of hard and warm scent, like he usually did when he was stressed and now it turned her on. He picked her up.

”You’re still a lightweight,” he said and laughed with his nose against her ear when he put her down on the bed. She rolled over on her side and he spooned her from behind while kissing her shoulder and placing a hand on her hip. ”I can’t imagine a day in my life without you,” he whispered and observed her as she removed the ring to look at it.

“Do you like it?” he asked quietly. Gaga felt his breath and his rough chin against her skin and it sent pleasant shivers down her spine.

“It’s beautiful, baby.”

He observed her perfect side profile; her nose and the tiny little chin. The smooth, slanted forehead, her delicious, pouty soft lips and her amazing, big eyes. Her dark hair was so soft and he buried his nose in it while she tilted the ring to read the engraving on the inside of the band.

‘I choose you, Stefani. Love always, Michael’

”I can probably have it changed if you don’t like it,” he said and closed his hand around hers and made her lower her arm as if he was embarrassed about the words he had chosen. He kissed her neck, moved some hairs from her cheek and made her turn around to face him. He felt her hand on his thigh and how she was slowly turning him on.

”Are you being serious?” she said and chuckled. ”Change it?” She looked at him like he was a complete fool. ”Is this what you went to collect when you disappeared yesterday?” she asked.

“Correct.” Michael pulled her closer and bumped his forehead against hers. “And I know you wanted to kill me for leaving you there, but it wasn't supposed to happen like that.” He raised his eyebrows and wanted to let her know that he knew she was indeed at least a little upset with him, but instead she pouted at him and gave him a side eye.

”I’m sorry I ruined your moment by stepping on it.”

”You stepped on it?” His eyebrows traveled further up his forehead. Then he smiled and looked at her with his most admiring gaze. “You make me so happy. I don’t even think you understand. You are so absolutely… perfect.”

He ran his hand along her arm, caressed her waist and let his hand slip down her back to cup her firm butt cheek. He gave it a slight squeeze before his fingers travelled down to her soft thigh and when he kissed her she put her leg around his waist to pull herself closer to him. She parted her lips, felt his warm tongue inside her mouth and a tingling sensation between her legs. Her breaths were shallow and she felt how he turned hard.

It wasn’t like all the weight was lifted off her shoulders, but at least they were two about it. They would both have an obligation to make it work. And she wasn’t alone in any of it – not anymore. She was backed by people who cared about her now.

She broke the kiss and suddenly looked serious. She pulled a deep breath and whispered, “Sometimes I think you’re the only thing keeping me from not falling into a hole of complete insanity.”

Then she seemed doubtful for a second. ”You do realize this will be hard work.”

“Stef… If you’re not 100 % happy we won’t do it,” he said. “I swear I tried so hard not to-“

She grabbed his hand and cupped it in her own hands. It was warm and dry and she pressed her lips against his fingers while she looked into his eyes.

“Mickey. Stop it. I want this to be a beautiful thing. Not a cause for us to fall out… so why don’t we just… let it happen.” Her eyes glittered and her cheeks were bubbly and cute as she smiled. “It’s not the end at all.”