#michael kahnwald

jonas kahnwald & michael kahnwald (his father)

HIDING FROM SOMETHING I CANNOT STOP

I was so afraid, but you held my hand, and then you said “We have to stay here, all night, but when the morning comes, everything will be alright”, and when I woke up, you were gone. All those years I've tried to understand, why you did that. But then, at some point it all just faded away. It became even more unreal, like a dream.

Having to think about Michael and his entire relationship with Jonas because... of how Jonas became the biggest question of Mikkel’s life while he was growing up? “Why would he leave me alone in the cave? Where would he have gone?” Those questions haunted him for years.

Then, after carrying all that trauma, you grow up only to watch your own son become the exact person who leads you into something and leaves you behind.

But he’s no longer just your friend.

He’s your son.

The question of “Why would he do this to me?” no longer has a place because Michael is Jonas father, and he’s bound to love him. There’s no room for question because, to Michael, the answer doesn’t matter anymore. He isn’t allowed to question it, only to accept his fate, to accept Jonas as his son, and to love him unconditionally.

Imagine loving someone so deeply that you willingly give your own life so they can exist. Imagine spending your entire life haunted by that person’s actions, only to realise that person is your own child. You can’t question him, you can’t blame him, you can only accept what’s already been written and continue loving him anyway.