I made a post about making Gotham villains interact like family so this is one of those <3 !Major out of character warning, and y'know language, curing is second nature to me and I will write with it! I don't characterize Joker like Joker in this, because I don't want to and his personality is really hard to make familial in any way. DC stands for Disregard Cannon anyway, so-
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Joker, sighing, leaning back: Shit.
Penguin: Something up, laughing stock?
Joker: Yeah, I'm not in the mood.
Penguin, pouring a glass of whiskey for himself and Joker: Harvey is supposed to be making his way here soon.
Joker, grabbing the whiskey and downing it: I don't know how Ed did this.
Penguin: The parenting thing?
Joker, nodding: Yeah, that.
Penguin: It didn't turn out anything like Verin did.
Joker: No, no it did not.
Harvey, walking into the bar: Is he lamenting about his kid again?
Penguin: Spot on!
Harvey: Have you ever considered asking Selina?
Joker looked at him with confusion.
Harvey: She helps raise Bruce Wayne's kids? Their marriage went public like two years ago.
Penguin: I forgot about that. I can't believe the cat finally said yes to the kid.
Joker, got up and grabbed the bottle of whiskey, pouring a glass before drinking straight from the bottle.
Harvey, laughing: Damn, Jack.
Joker: Fuck you, Harvey.
Penguin: You're kid humanized you to the public, and you're mad about it?
Joker: What if the bat sees it? I look like a damn fool!
Harvey:
Penguin:
Joker: Not that kind of fool, you assholes! I look like some parent or something, not a serial killer.
Harvey: You can be both, Jack. You are both.
Penguin: Not really. I remember when the kid went ballistic after that stunt you pulled with the second Robin.
Joker, shuddering: Almost got killed by my own brat.
Penguin, laughing: You raised them to be obsessed with Robin, I really don't see how you thought they would let you get away with killing one of them.
Joker: They weren't even ten!
Harvey: You're the one who taught them how to use a gun.
Joker, conceding: I'm too sober for this shit.
Penguin: Drink up then, Verin's at their apartment and well old enough to take care of themself.
Joker: Cheers to that shit.
Harvey: Yes sir!
