Mental Carnage- By Sheri Hockman

Sad and silent

Somber but mentally bold

Little Johnny was lost

His pain was untold.........

 Keeping to himself

Going to chatrooms to find friends

Couldn’t seem to locate any common ground

Something wasn’t right

He couldn’t pretend.......

  It’s an anger that built up inside

He couldn’t control it

To raw and getting hard to hide.......

 Classmates were pushed away

The laughter and cheer always seemed to be all around

It went through his body like nails on a chalk board

A grinding palpable sound........

 His parents felt helpless

Didn’t know what to do

They showered him in gifts

Took him to the Dr….but wasn’t sure what to construe..........

  It appeared to be depression that is what “they say”

Take this medication and “Just believe in yourself”

And it’ll go away

Your parents need to keep a closer eye

And you need to get more sleep

Little Johnny went in his room and locked the door

And quietly began to weep........

 Taking drugs and being sent for help

A darkness began to peek through

Little did anyone know

The magnitude and threat just grew.

You see, Little Johnny had decided he wanted to die….

And come hell or high water he would hurt others

He would make them suffer... make them cry

 Little Johnny transitioned all of his sadness to rage

School started calling home saying he was a problem in class

What next he thought? “Put me in a cage?”

 He wasn’t going to stand for this

“This was not right”

He wasn’t going down like this

Not without a fight

His heart was crippled

Mind was broke 

He didn’t want help

Life felt like a big joke.

 His mind began spinning with crazy visions

He binged on video games and the internet

Began to make many many irrational decisions

  Little Johnny began to devise a lethal plan

How could he end his life

But still stick it “to the man?”

 What would make this world comprehend his pain?

Something so transparent and so true

Something no one else could understand let alone begin to feel....Not me...Not you.

 Little Johnny didn’t have any friends

He was an outsider......It was him against society

The division between his mind and the “real world” just kept getting wider.

 A few tried to befriend him

Good intentions at heart

But Johnny said “Fuck off! Just wait until you see what I’m going to start”

 The students were taken back

Didn’t know quite what to think

They didn’t realize how sick Little Johnny was...

As they walked away...Little Johnny’s emotions began to sink

 The story of Little Johnny

Doesn’t have an end.....He was a lost soul

With mental illness that he couldn’t recognize or mend

 There were plenty of “signs”

Everyone could “see”

But who wants to think Little Johnny would hurt others.....like you or me

Students “walking up” could not have remedied this pending situation

Little Johnny had severe mental illness....it’s invisible

As a society….”Not understanding”…Is a great frustration

You see medical help is not so easy to attain

As some have this notion.....

Pills, counseling and management 

Are only effective if the person allows the treatment to be put into motion. 

It’s an ongoing process that requires some amount of trust

People with illness can be resistant..

Constant follow up and care is a must.

To date so much young blood has been shed

Lives have been lost

When there could have been securities in place

To at least defend at all cost.

Sitting in a classroom

Wondering if this could be the day....

Fear in the hearts of teachers and children

Contemplating what will save them...hiding or running away?

 Walking out in protest

Hoping our country starts to give a damn

Is saying “I want to be safe when I learn”

It’s NOT a stupid issue

They ponder if they’ll be the next sacrificial lamb

 The protest isn’t to take your guns

It’s not to stomp on your constitutional rights

They want to know they can attend school

And not die in gun fights.

 Bullet proof glass

Metal detectors and/or guards armed with power

Are all things to defend our children

So they don’t just have to hide, defenseless and cower

 Unarmed teachers standing at the school doors

Can’t begin to protect them 

If bullets start flying and bodies start hitting the floors.

There are people like “Little Johnny” everywhere in life

What is going to change

So people don’t continue to go through this strife?  

 The reality is…. There is never any “true safety” where ever we go

But we need to do what we can to maximize the safety in our settings 

So, we don’t end up 6ft below.

 Stop assigning blame 

For Students can’t befriend someone to PREVENT a shooting

These are protests

Not anarchy for stealing and looting!

 Support these kids….for in a few years they’ll be grown “adults”

Their opinion matters

Eventually they’ll start getting some life changing results.

#Walkup....should be a lifestyle. Don’t be a douche. Just be nice to people all the time.  It shouldn’t be a one day initiative....and the parents RANTING about how kids should just “do this”  (”Walk up”)-crack me up!  Like they were just rushing to the aid of anyone being bullied when they were kids? Give me a break!  It’s nice when your hind sight is like 5/20 and you remember your childhood with rose colored glasses (and at this point I’m feeling pretty confident most people are legally blind right now).  B/c  I don’t remember anyone jumping in front of any bullies when I was a kid.  Secondly...if your child “fears” another kid and their dark disposition, why would you tell them to ignore that and ‘walk up to them’ anyway?  The gift of fear.  The only super power we have. Our gut instinct that we TRAIN out of our children every damn day.  Stop it! Kids can be self limiting many times b/c they should be! Stop telling them to ignore their own instincts.  It’s wrong. If kids are concerned about another child they need to tell an adult. Period.  I think the “whip it” generation is slightly delusional right now.  We’re making the “tide pod” eating generation look like genius’s.  Think back and be realistic.  Parenting today has become overkill on multiple levels.  We know almost too much all the time.....Is it really a good thing?