The trans community, and maybe progressive gender politics as a whole, is going to collapse in on itself from the simple fact that you cannot persuade people collectively to actually and sincerely care about men. It's all just lip service in the end. Nobody in charge is willing to admit that men have problems and actually see tackling those problems for men's sake as fundamental to the overall work that they're trying to do.
The end result is that they just ended up inventing Gender Essentialism 2, which is just like the first one but this time they wink at the camera and swear that this is the feminist one.
And every time I see some kind of hopeful discourse in the direction of actually advancing our understanding of gender and inequality and bigotry and conditioned beliefs, it hits this exact. same. stumbling block. Every. freaking. time.
"Oh whoops, I almost had a revelation that challenged and updated my understanding of the world, but then I remembered that men can't have problems, ever."
And it really doesn't matter how they justify it, by say, equating all instances of demographically-based problems, or deeply ingrained hostility from others, to 'societal oppression', like it's a special category of thing where the only real problems happen that you have to gain a special admission pass for, or whether they just use progressive language in which to diplomatically couch the fact that they don't care about other people's perspectives and life experiences, it's all just excuses for validating their priors anyway.
The dial is always stuck on "the only real victims here are women."
P.S. I'm glad that bell hooks said whatever about loving men, but in a broader sense, I don't care. Cultivate your own damn politics, your own internal sense of right and wrong, instead of cribbing it from other people who sound authoritative. That's another attitude that will ultimately destroy us all.
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TW/CW: Mention of CSA, toxic masculinity, RGU spoilers
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Utena made me... not question my gender identity, but question my gender. Like, ontologically. What is a guy? Stripped of patriarchy, what does that look like?
Because the series is honest enough to depict that patriarchy both benefits and hurts boys. Touga is a prime demonstration.
On the one hand, the men in his life - his stepfather and Akio - both sexually abuse him. Unable to internalize this properly, he turns into the worst kind of guy imaginable, and in turn uses his charisma to spread this pain and hate onto younger boys. And so the horrid cycle continues. But then towards the end of the series (not counting the movie in this context), he becomes aware that he's part of the problem, and tries to save Utena from being groomed. But of course, she doesn't listen, Touga's an asshole.
It's likely that had he ever been able to find a way to process and recover from his trauma, he'd have been an entirely different guy. He presents himself as a noble prince-like character because that's what he really wants to be, even if he knows it's a facade. He wants to be some mythic hero like a prince because, deep down, he wishes someone came and saved him.
And like, yeah, not every guy is that malignant or had that kind of trauma growing up, obviously. But I don't think it's unfair to say that a lot of guys share the internal narrative that he has. That perhaps a lot of us are more scarred & frightened than we'd prefer to admit. That maybe we really do need help, but would never admit it openly. That, deep down... patriarchy did a number on us, and we know it. And we went on doing it. What is a man? Genuinely, what are we? Freed from status as both victim and perpetrator, what's a man?
Focusing on women and celebrating what makes them so unique, Evie Magazine helps women seek truth and find beauty...the kind that really mat
By: Lisa Britton
Published: May 6, 2026
As we toast the United Nations for reaching its 80th anniversary, letās raise a glass to its noble pursuit of global harmony, and then, perhaps, spill a little for the boys and men it seems to have quietly forgotten.
The UN, the grand institution of peace and equality, has a blind spot when it comes to half the worldās population. And no, itās not the half that getsĀ 16 dedicated days of recognition, including International Womenās Day, Girl Child Day, and even Rural Womenās Day. Boys and men, it appears, get the short end of the stick, or rather, no stick at all.
So weāll start with the calendar. The UN proudly champions gender-specific days, with all spotlighting women and girls. Thatās fantasticāempowering women is great. Iāve volunteered in areas of the world where girls and women are in dire need of support. But whereās the love for boys and men?Ā
International Menās Day, observed globally since 1999 to address issues like male suicide, fatherās rights, and boysā education, gets zero official acknowledgment from the UN, and I believe itās a missed opportunity. Instead, we get World Toilet Day. Yes, you read that right: November 19th, which happens to be International Menās Day, is also the UNās chosen date since 2013 to celebrate... toilets. Iād like to think this wasnāt a deliberate jab, but the irony stings.
Nobody is arguing against improved sanitation which has saved millions of lives. I myself got sick on a volunteer trip to Africa and had to be treated in the U.S. But it feels like a snub. If the UN can find room forĀ World Bee Day, surely they can squeeze in a moment for boys and men.Ā
International Boy Child Day, May 16th, the equivalent to Girl Child Day, is also not yet recognized by the UN. Reminder: these areĀ children.
But the oversight runs deeper than dismissed calendar entries. For years, the UN has championed gender equality through initiatives like UN Women, a dedicated agency for womenās empowerment. Itās a worthy cause, but whereās the equivalent? Boys and men face unique challenges globally: higher suicide rates, lower life expectancy, homelessness, overdose, educational disparities, child soldiers, war crimes, and workplace deaths that overwhelmingly affect them. Yet, the UNās focus remains lopsided. Thereās no UN Men, no task force for boysā education, no global campaign addressing male-specific health crises. Itās as if their struggles are invisible, or worse, irrelevant and dismissed.
Again, I've traveled to regions like Africa, Central America, and the Middle East. Iāve volunteered in communities where girls and women (as well as boys and men) face significant challenges. Iāve seen it firsthand.
As the UN continues to discuss critical global issues, gender equality remains a key focus. But the conversation is one-sided, overlooking the serious issues affecting boys and men. The seventieth session of the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) took place at the United Nations Headquarters in New York in March. Maybe itās time to have a parallel session on the status of our boys?
These are some of the most pressing issues of our time, and a balanced perspective is needed for meaningful progress.
But dig a little deeper, and the picture gets even more concerning. I spoke with two senior UN officials in New York City, in town for the UN General Assembly in September, who revealed a troubling reality: the UNās obsession with one-sided gender equality has morphed into systemic discriminationāagainst men. Within the organization, hiring and promotion decisions right up to the top are increasingly driven by identity rather than merit. If you're a young man today hoping to secure a job in the UN, there's no doubt that it will be difficult.
Gender parity has already been reached and maintained since 2018 (50% women) in senior-level roles, and 60% of field staff are women today.
Yet when thereās a selection process, those hiring must indicate that women have received due consideration and, in the case that a man is preferred, explain why. As a woman myself, I find this infantilizing. It suggests that women need a handicap to compete, undermining the very equality the UN claims to champion.
Ignoring menās issues while mandating justifications for hiring them isnāt equality. That's bias and sexism dressed up in progressive jargon.
For their 80th anniversary, the UN declared itās time for change, to listen to other views, and find new solutions. Secretary-General António Guterres wants the UN to review its role with the launch of theĀ UN80 initiative, a system-wide push āto streamline operations, sharpen impact, and reaffirm the UNās relevance for a rapidly changing world.ā
Hereās a great start: acknowledge International Boy Child Day on May 16th. Itās a small gesture that could signal a broader commitment to inclusivity and true gender equality, one that includes men and boys. Itās a simple way to show the boys and men of the world that we care. Then, hopefully, we can also acknowledge International Menās Day on November 19th following that.
Create a task force and work with leading experts to address male-specific issues, like mental health and education disparities globally. And, please, stop justifying hiring men as if itās a crime. The UN could lead by example, showing the world that equality means liftingĀ everyoneĀ up, not pushing one group down to balance the scales.
Iām honored that the phrase I coined in 2019, āThe Future is Everyone,ā has been chosen as the official theme for IMD 2026. ThisĀ mustĀ be the year where we recognize that āinclusionā means everyone, including boys and men. Men and women can work together to bridge the divide and build a more harmonious world where no one is left behind.
Iām thrilled the UN is open to new perspectives on how to better address the issues of our time and create a more harmonious and inclusive world. Those frustrated with the UNās approach to boys and men arenāt asking for pity; theyāre asking for fairness. The UN has the chance to prove it's listeningānot just to women, not just to toilets, but to everyone. I hope they take it.
The boys, men, and fathers of this world matter, too.
Many cases of young men who just spiral from a lack of a healthy male figure in their lives and only seeing the fallout from ones that hurt them or hurt others. If a single other man never welcomes them to manhood, sees him like he sees himself, they'll remain in that mindset of ostracization like they're crossing a line they shouldn't and committing a violation by being themselves because they were pushed out the circle by a horrendous society that bullied them into the dirt. It feels safer to stay in self-hating mode because it keeps you out the circle you've learned is dangerous rather than accepting you deserve to take up space as you are, even if it's not to the standards of others and that they were not right.
It is very hard to develop an instinct towards mentally placing yourself within that circle without experiencing a certain nausea associated with what it meant to try and be there. You are taught to resent yourself and feel sick at your own weakness, how "pathetic" it is you couldn't be "real" like them and accepted without a mirror that shows anything different. It's easier to blame yourself than to acknowledge the entire fabric of society has something deeply wrong with it, and then to still choose to live within it as you are knowing how at odds you are with it. But we should stay standing, and help eachother to stand. Let it reflect outward.
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Do MRAs who believe sexual assault and false accusations of sexual assault should be punished equally also support the death penalty or life sentences for false accusations of murder?
I want to take a moment to talk about transandrophobia and cisgender men. I've spoken a lot in the pass about cis women and other trans people who attack or dismiss transgender men for being men out of the fear of men or the fear of their daughters becoming men or the fear of lesbian lovers becoming men.
However, cis men also fear trans men's manhood. Cis men often feel threatened by our existence, since they view us as a challenge to their identity and their manhood. Cis men are terrified of the concept that a "woman" can become a man. So often they are horrified by the concept of us growing cocks or getting srs, of use having facial hair, gaining muscle, behaving masculine or feminine, walking into the showers, their gym spaces, using the urinal, pissing on the side of the road, or just being in any way male. Cis men don't just dislike that we're trans, they actively dislike that we're men, they fear us being men because if a "woman" can become a man, that challenges the structure of the patriarchy, it challenges the system, and it "perverts" the meaning of male and redefines manhood and masculinity. In doing so, we force cis men to consider these binaries and that scares them, we terrify them with the concept of "women" gaining access to male spaces where they might see them vulnerable.