After watching Transformers One after a lot of appropriate time (1 A.K.A. One) I'm granted teh title of Tea Ultra Holy White Mage by myself and thus I'm a very expert cinemaphile (A.K.A. Theater Movin' Image Entusiast) and thus I shall give my Xtremely important ~~opinions~~ objectively correct facts about the film:
Ok, this was expected, like everyone knew this, but like, despite like thiz tihs is a cinematic masterpiece, I'm obviously referring to the 71'76 minutes long hot homersexual secsy secs scene between Optimus Prime and D-16. Whot 'cause this to be what we (Kinopholes) consider Kinoma is teh eggcelent koreagrapy and that D-16 announcement of his homerphobia, this iz a so subtle social commentary about society and that Optimus Prime Optimussy isn't enough to fix him, makin' clear that Optimus Prime isn't OP (as OverPowerwd) and has more to learn while also possibly as a foreshadowing for future character development.
Sentinel Prime's character is a big difference between his previous pothrayls bit that's what makes him such a fine character, here he's clearly a legitimate leader and hero, got rid of the previous theocracy and those old foolish dumb stoopid fools that could only talk about old foolish dumb stoopid foolish things, made peace with the Quintessentions (he's a raceist but not racist!!), created a new fairer society, build roads, gave free operations to everybaby, praise the courageous and have a promotion to Optimus Prime, D-16 and B#dassatron!!!!!!
WHAT A HERO!!!!!
D-16 renaming himself after the nickname he gave Optimus Prime's pener is such an emotional thing!! Much better than naming himself after an incestpus traitor!!
I found bizarre that every time Arcee was showed on screen there was an off-screen cybertronian shouting things like "Mommy Arcee!!" or "Notice me mommy!!", like it's xpecially so uncanny that that unnamed off-screen cybertronian gal sounds exactly like me if I was shouting in a cinema theatree.
It's so heartwarming when Megantron helped Sentinel Prime to do his Jazzz cosplay, the fact that he's deadly allergic to getting snapped in 2 is such an unexpected plot twist!! Thought my complaint is that this weakness kinda is like a reversed deux is machina, like when Sentinel Prime is allergic to that??
Overalls, this is cinema, if cinema was utterly amazing and very toy commercial. Watch this, and yuo will watch this film (which is a masterpiece).
