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okay but can we talk about a buzzfeed unsolved au-- juniors edition
The juniors start a youtube channel called Cultivation: Untamed
They investigate famous cultivation incidents rumored to be the result of demonic cultivation
It starts as a mini-series of episodes to debunk myths about the yiling patriarch. But then it grows from there
They start researching more incidents and decide to debunk those too
Their channel gains traction, and soon they have their own little corner of the internet
No one dares to say they can't do it because they have way too many Famous People backing them
The energy of them going to haunted places? Unparalleled.
Zizhen: I’ve connected the dots. Jingyi: you didn't connect shit. Zizhen: I’ve connected them
Fairy is their mascot. They bring Fairy with them and inevitably get scared whenever he starts barking at nothing.
Jingyi is adamant that he is not scared at all. “hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy”. He talks big game of making fun of spirits until the flashlight starts blinking.
Jin Ling is also very loudly not scared, fuck off. He covers his fear with anger in true Jiang Cheng form. “fuck you, goatman, this is my bridge now!!” and he always brings Fairy with him because Fairy is the bestest boy not because he’s scared or anything, of course not
Zizhen is scared, yeah, but less likely to get spooked because he spends less time pretending he’s not spooked. “don’t try it, demons,” he says, pulling out the holy water gun.
Sizhui is the only one actually chill about the whole thing. Listen, he grew up in the Burial Mounds, it doesn’t get anymore haunted than that. “we’re here for the cult stuff”. He thinks this is a great way of spreading information to the general population on how to deal with this stuff.
Wen Ning is the Adult Supervision and also the camera man
Yanli and Jin Zixuan always comment under the videos things like "love the video A-Ling!!" "So proud!!"
They're definitely old souls who don't know how to use the internet. Jin Zixuan does that weird old person punctuation with lots of periods. The only time they can ever be found online is when they comment under the videos.
The juniors get permission to investigate the unclean realm because Nie Huaisang is a huge fan. It's the highest production quality video. Nie Huaisang funds it
Sometimes Wei Wuxian guest stars to give "expert advice"
Lan Zhan was in one episode, but only because Wei Ying forgot his flute and Lan Zhan was bringing it to him
No one in the video acknowledges the fact that the Chief Cultivator is there. Someone in the comments section: That's Hanguang-Jun in the background
Jin Ling: This ain't about him
The comments are just "Hanguang-Jun!" " is that Hanguang-Jun?" "omg that totally is Hanguang-Jun" and the Lan juniors are like "we should see if Hanguang-Jun would be a video. everyone seems to love him" and Jin Ling's like "no because that will take the focus off of the point of the video. it's supposed to be about us" and the juniors are like yeah you're right. Jingyi definitely isn't salty they agreed with Jin Ling, what are you talking about?
Lan Zhan still keeps appearing in the background in like blurry shots because Wei Ying keeps forgetting his flute or his talisman or Sizhui needs something from home or Jingyi forgot to bring batteries for the camera, etc. And they still refuse to officially acknowledge it. So, he becomes kind of a cryptid in the videos
Viewers make compilations of all the blurry screencaps of Lan Zhan in the background. They're obsessed. It's become a whole thing in the cultivation: unsolved fandom
Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng, who once had to drive the juniors to a distant sect and had vowed never to be a part of this again, barges in the filming to bring Jin Ling his little bell because "knowing you, you'll go and do empathy even though i told you not to, but when do you ever listen to me. it's too risky for you to be doing Jin Ling, and if i see a video fo you doing it again, i'll break your legs. so take the bell, but i better not see you using it"
Fans go apeshit.
They're like "omfg jiang wanyin!!" "omg he's a legend" "he's so hot" etc.
There ends up being a whole Lan Zhan vs Jiang Cheng discourse in the fandom. The juniors are like how did it even come to this? Hanguang-Jun and jiang wanyin don't have anything to do with the show??
The comments blow up, and it goes viral. Jin Ling gets into fights on Twitter because that's his uncle!!!! stop saying stuff about his uncle!!!! Its gross!!!!! And no, the bell is a very serious cultivation instrument!!!!!
Jingyi makes buttons with "team Jiang Cheng" and "team Lan Wangji" as merch.
Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng get into the discourse in the sense that while they think it's stupid, it's also something they can be petty about.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian is trying to get the fans to obsess over him. It's not working
The juniors are just trying to get their channel back to normal, but what even is normal? They can't remember a time before the Lan Wangji vs Jiang Cheng war. It feels like it's been years. It's been two days
No one believes Wei Wuxian is Wei Wuxian. Everyone thinks he's doing cosplay. “Ofc that's not the yiling patriarch that's crazy.” “The ribbon isn't even in the right color, jesus.”
They're like "they think just because they got Hanguang-Jun on the show that we're going to believe that's Wei Wuxian? nice try. we all know he's your guys's uncle so obviously he's going to pretend this guy is Wei Wuxian if you tell him to"
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian is doing all his Yiling Patriarch tricks on the show, trying to get people to believe him. Finally they do believe he's the real Wei Wuxian, but only after he's in an episode with Fairy and nearly faints
The comments are like "yep. that's definitely Wei Wuxian" "no one could fake utter terror that convincingly" "he definitely peed his pants. that's Wei Wuxian"
Wei Wuxian laments to Lan Wangji that his fear of dogs, his fear of dogs, is the reason people believe it's actually him now? how embarrassing
But now Wei Wuxian is a sensation in the fandom. Gifs and photos of him being scared of the dog are now widespread.
Jingyi and Jin Ling make merch of it together. It's the first time they've been civil since the whole Hanguang-Jun thing started. Zizhen makes one of those remixes of Wei Wuxian screaming in fright. Sizhui (reluctantly) accompanies it on his guqin
It spreads beyond the fandom. He's now more famous than Lan Wangji vs Jiang Cheng. But at what cost?
Buzzfeed makes a compilation of "20 times the Yiling Patriarch nearly fainted." Jiang Cheng sends him links to every article about it sometimes
Jingyi will just smirk at him and Wei Wuxian knows he's thinking of the memes
A merch mug appears in the Jingshi but neither Lan Wangji nor Lan Sizhui admit to shit
Lan Qiren has no idea what's happening, but he gets one mug too. Just because it makes Wei Wuxian go apoplectic.
Lan Qiren smiles at Jingyi once in passing
He also plays the remix in the background on an almost silent volume. Wei Wuxian can't tell where it's coming from. It's driving him crazy. Lan Qiren thinks this might be what finally makes Wei Wuxian leave Cloud Recesses.
Lan Qiren makes Zizhen an honorary lan disciple. No one knows why. It's because of the remix
Jin ling isn't jealous about that, of course not
One time, Jin Ling visits Cloud Recesses with Fairy. Wei Wuxian is suddenly nowhere to be found. Lan Qiren makes Jin Ling and honorary Lan disciple and tells him to visit whenever he wants
Jiang Cheng hears about it and immediately adopts all of them as Jiang disciples and Wei Wuxian just to one up Cloud Recesses
After all this shit goes down, if people hadn't heard of Cultivation: Untamed before, they sure have now.
