#mccballin

it's called editable reblogs, it's a blueish icon. you gotta go to new-xkit-extension.tumblr.com to get the right one though if you didnt know that, because originally i didnt and kept getting confused that i didnt see it hA

SCOTT IS A werewolf. her best friend. her BOYFRIEND. and now she was gasping for breath as lydia was calling him -- panicking and trying to get him to her as fast as possible. but adella was slipping in and out of consciousness. the only reason she knew he was there was because the overwhelming pain she was feeling dulled. and heavy lids opened as a small smile graced her lips. 

“HEY MY ALPHA. how’s it going?” her smile never faltering as a hand moved to push the hair out of his face. she was struggling to breathe -- the air was thick and all she wanted to do was SLEEP. but she knew that she wouldn’t wake up and the least she could do was APOLOGIZE. but right now all she could focus on was him. and how much she LOVED him. how she didn’t know what it would be like after she was gone. would it be like she was physically watching him or did she just have to wait. wait for him to hold her again. and so when she felt him pull her closer a shaky breath left her lips. 

SHE KNEW HE was going to try and apologize. like he could of stopped the inevitable from breaking them apart. so she beat him to it. “i’m sorry i got nosey -- and followed you...i just WORRIED. i’m sorry scott....i’m sorry i wasn’t strong enough.” he tried to interrupt “HEY let me say my dying last words.” she had to laugh -- even if it was a broken heart shattering laugh it was one of her last. there were so many lasts happening so fast. “but...scott i love you. okay? you got that? i love you more than anything in the entire world and to be here with you right now...” she pressed herself into his chest. a kiss met the top of her head as she breathed him in. 

LOOKING UP AGAIN she saw the tears in his eyes and had to shake her head. “hey...you can’t cry if i’m not crying” of course she was joking. she couldn’t be serious right now. she needed her last moment with the love of her life to be a great one. “okay -- scott mccall. i will love you till the moment i die. i don’t regret my dumb ass decision and never will. i need you to -- for once NOT blame yourself for something that was completely out of your control. got it? and know that i have always loved you and only you. and -- have pizza at my funeral? have pizza and make sure that there is meat lovers pizza. okay?                             GOD I LOVE YOU.” 

                   SILENCE on scott’s end. he hopes that maybe listening to stiles will bring something to him. something that he overlooked, something that he didn’t consider. but he doesn’t know why he banks on that, because it’s more likely than not that stiles knows less than he does right now. the only thing he can think of is the nogitsune. the only way stiles would do something like this is if he was POSSESSED. that’s all scott can think of, and it sends a fear so great through him that he can’t even hide the look on his face if he tried.                    that can’t be it. scott would have known. he would have noticed something before now, wouldn’t he? that couldn’t be happening AGAIN, not to stiles. ❝ there’s nothing, you wouldn’t do this. ❞  and when scott says it he’s sure, and he not lying. because this wasn’t something stiles would do. 

                 he’s long forgotten about the tears that he was fighting, more focused on how to help stiles find his way back. how to help him REMEMBER just how much he means to scott, or at least remember enough about who he is that he isn’t walking around in the dark. scott feels like he has the pedal to the floor, and he’s just not MOVING. mind on constant replay that he needs to figure this out, but he doesn’t know how. or where to start, where to end. he doesn’t even know what their first GOAL should be. what they’re supposed to do next with the little information that they do have. and he wishes he did. he wishes that he could hand stiles all of the answers and more, or give him the entire world. the thought is astray but it doesn’t make it any less true, his emotions are running rampant and he doesn’t know what they MEAN.                                                     ( doesn’t know ANYTHING, and he wants to. )                but he’s meeting stiles’ gaze now, with his signature role of his best friend look on his face and he just knows that he has to do what he can to comfort stiles. even if it’s not much, even if the attempt fails. even if he has to idea what to say. ❝ – i don’t know. there’s gotta be a reason, and we’ll find it. i swear, we will. ❞ and scott almost feels like he has to break the eye contact with how OVERWHELMED with goosebumps and emotion he feels, but he keeps his composure. ❝ we’ll find what made you do this, and we’ll get your memories back. and we’ll… we’ll fix everything. this isn’t forever, it can’t be. ❞ it just CAN’T be. the idea of stiles being lost to himself forever, the idea of him losing stiles forever, together they’re enough to crack scott open. but he can’t, stiles needs him.                                                               ❝ and you have me. just know that. i’m here. ❞

              the way scott talks, like he’s  so sure   everything will be okay, like stiles will wake up the next morning with all his memories and his dad will be fine and everything will be fine  -- is oddly comforting. reassuring.  ( and for a moment, stiles believes it. despite everything, he believes it.  ) but it’s a fleeting brush of ease, flickering out like a weak, dying flame just as soon as scott lights it; it’s hard to be optimistic  when he feels so numb, so wrong. so not-stiles. 

                                     something in him cra / cks.  he knows scott’s the duct tape, holding him together, keeping him fixed,  but the glue is fading, chipping away. stiles swallows, takes in a ragged breath, tries to find consolation in his best friend’s presence. quietly, the now-familiar sting of panic pricks the back of his neck -- the advent of a panic attack -- but stiles stays calm. for now, he stays calm, as calm as he  can  be. ( i’m here. ) 

              ❛ -- how are you so sure  about everything? ❜ his voice is a touch too sharp, a touch too broken; the product of grief too sudden, too recent.  ❛ this doesn’t seem like something that can be fixed.  none of this -- ❜ ( he  can’t be fixed. he can be mended, pieced together slowly and carefully, but the cracks will still be there. something will still be off.  ) ❛ scott ... if i really did hurt my dad, do you think he’s ever going to look at me the same way? you can’t  fix  that. ❜

                 immediately, scott’s ALERT. mostly people people can’t say ❛ scott we have a problem ❜ anymore and not expect him to briefly freak out. but his wheels stop spinning when he hears the noises, looking at the box curiously with a slight curl of a smile on his lips. okay, it’s four puppies. four husky puppies and they’re adorable, scott scrambling to sit next to the box and stare in ADORATION.                                                   ❝ dude, this definitely isn’t a problem. where                                                               did you get them? are they yours? ❞

            oh, look. fond scott mccall eyes.  there they are, in all their glory. ( stiles is going to die as soon as scott holds one of those precious little shits. it’s inevitable. ) but he has other  things to worry about, so he puts his hands on his hips, lips flattening as he narrows his eyes down at the squirming puppies. ❛ one  wouldn’t be a problem. two would be annoying. but four,  scott? i’m not ready to be a dad. ❜ his  dad is going to kill him. 

wiggly eyebrows

stARES AT YOU