#mcatprep

2022.05.19

i wonder if healing is harder the second time around. full of knowing, this time, shouldn't i be wiser? can't i now stand up for myself? i feel sixteen and voiceless. i blink. i am nineteen and free. my eyes shut; i am twenty-one and frozen in time. your voice and arms wrap around me. we're here. you're here. i inhale a real lungful of air. i'm ready to go again.

i write these little journal blurbs in a flow of consciousness type way. usually something inspires me to write these words. lately, my biggest inspiration is just them... they make me feel like im growing and becoming more of a person everyday. :,>

I love this program, I love what I’m doing, and I love this university.

I feel like I’m finally in a place where I belong academically and it’s a huge thing for me.

A lot of people like to romanticize this journey.. studying late nights, the slowly developing coffee addiction, the feeling that maybe you’re not cut out mentally to be a doctor.. the constant battle between doubt and confidence. I have never wanted something so bad in my entire life but trust me... this is not easy..

Trying to catch up a little today on my study schedule... it’s not going great but it’s going

isn’t the sky so brave? to be so wonderfully consistent that everyone expects its sights, and forgets to look up. but when you take the time to sit and admire, all you’re left to say in awe is, “oh.” the beauty of consistency is not in the monotony or the repetition but in the perfection created from it.

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