2022.05.19

i wonder if healing is harder the second time around. full of knowing, this time, shouldn't i be wiser? can't i now stand up for myself? i feel sixteen and voiceless. i blink. i am nineteen and free. my eyes shut; i am twenty-one and frozen in time. your voice and arms wrap around me. we're here. you're here. i inhale a real lungful of air. i'm ready to go again.

i write these little journal blurbs in a flow of consciousness type way. usually something inspires me to write these words. lately, my biggest inspiration is just them... they make me feel like im growing and becoming more of a person everyday. :,>

I love this program, I love what I’m doing, and I love this university.

I feel like I’m finally in a place where I belong academically and it’s a huge thing for me.

17 july 20 // amino acids

Things to remember about aa’s:

- non-polar aa’s: they are the hydrocarbon side chains which include aromatic ones; their 3 & 1 letter(s) are straight forward other than the aromatic ones; poline (pro, p) is the most important because it allows breaks in proteins (alpha helixes & beta sheets)

- polar uncharged aa’s: 2 alcohols - threonine has an extra carbon so the other must be serine; 2 amides (carboxyl derivative) which contain NH2 groups asparargine (asN, N) & glutamine (glN, Q) - N for amiNe & NH2; Cysteine has a SH Group - H is important here, it allows for disulfide bonds which is important in protein folding (3* & 4*)

-basic aa’s: Bases are protón acceptors = (+) charge; @ physiological pH lys & arg are (+) charged; his is neutral; L, R, & H contain 1, 2, 3 nitrogen’s respectivly. Lysine is a target for covalent modifications; Arginine is most basic aa (3 extra N groups, duhhhh)

-acidic aa’s: Asp & Glu are the carboxylic acids analogous to Asn and Gln amides; -ic acid = protonated (OH); -ate = deprotonated (O-)