#maxxventing

i have no idea what i did wrong so i'm worried there's like a rumor going around abt me

she left my server too and said that it was personal mental issues, which i wholeheartedly believe, but that makes me wanna yknow check in on her and make sure she's okay

uhm

like

ohmmmggggg so much shit's gone on this month and i'm sort of just waiting for one small minor inconvenience to set me off and make me the star of the next serial killer show

like i may lose my mind

like i have friends who keep wanting me to get into things like enstars or genshin impact, and while i listen to my friends talk about these and enjoy watching them be into these things, i can never really get into them because someone who hurt me in the past tried to repeatedly push these interests onto me (prior to the main offence) when i had already said i wasn't really interested, and just having the memory of that person in general tied to those things ruins it for me :(

like im friends with the weirdest fucking people and i literally dont give a shit ok

as long as you're not actively abusing people or animals i kinda dont care

im friends with a literal cannibal - that checks out, don't care, go ahead

i'm friends with people who are into weird kinks im not into - cool, whatever, i think its gross, but you do you idgaf. as long as you're not fucking/beating animals or children, do whatever

i really don't fucking care honestly

and im so sick and tired of discourse like "oh but this person is into this and thats gross" yeah? and? why do i need to care about that? can you look past what a person is into and see into their soul? not everybody who likes something weird or fucked up is inherently a bad person like wtf

what if you meet the nicest person youve ever met, everyone in your friend group loves them, your parents think they're chill, they're a ray of sunshine, pure lil baby - and then MAYBE you find out they're into some weird shit, does all of the years previous mean fucking nothing and go out the window? and if yes then what the fuck is wrong with you

like you CANNOT base your opinion of someone based on what they're into like thats not fair

parents are being pissy because of my pickyness (which i got from them) and are calling me (and my diagnosed autistic brother) selfish bc they got a different kind of mac n cheese and we wont eat it (we are making different food that we will eat) and then they're like calling us ungrateful and like yeah i'd get it if we were neurotypical spoiled brats but we're both on the spectrum (somewhere, we're probably both AuDHD) and i know its generally a stereotype but it is so real i will legit only eat like a few things and i have tried to eat other foods and sometimes its good and sometimes it isnt - i have personally tried this kind of mac n cheese and hated the shit out of it i know my own fucking likes

legit said "is it disrespectful to have a preference" and was told (in an only half-joking way, i could hear it in the tone) "yes" like dude me and my brother both threw up when you tried to force feed us ravioli when we were younger i know what kinds of foods im not gonna eat

pisses me off too bc we've learned by conditioning that if we waste food we're met with disappointed and angry parents so we're like "ok, we just won't have any so then its not wasted bc you guys will eat it" and then we get yelled at for not having any like what the fuck is this bullshit ass logic do you WANT me to waste food? no because if i waste it i get the exact same berating that i'm getting now like i dont get it