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Story Time With Jess 4
Jess: Let’s play “Jess or Gun.” Matt: What’s that? Abby: I give you a quote and you have to guess whether Becker said it to his girlfriend or his gun. Matt: Oh, that’ll be easy. Abby: First up, “I couldn’t live without you.” Matt: Well, that’s got to be Jess. Jess: Nope. Glock.
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Connor: Okay, let’s get this straight. Becker: More like let me run this bi you. Emily: Let’s just see how this pans out. Matt: I’m gay.
Emily: Okay, Matt and I are going upstairs. Abby: Make sure you use protection! Emily, pulling out her knife: Why, what’s up there?
Emily: I’m here to negotiate. Matt: I’m listening. Emily: *puts gun against his head* Matt: I’m listening intently.
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Connor: I’ve connected the dots. Matt: You didn’t connect shit. Connor: I’ve connected them.
Matt: If it’s been twelve minutes or less since your last contraction, you’re dilating. Abby: You read the books! Matt, proudly: The Wikipedia.
Becker: Captain Becker, and you are? Matt: Not as straight as I thought I was. Danny: You’re not the only one, mate.
