#mathilda charas

In my dreams, we're still together. 

Sometimes I wake up with you wrapped loosely around me, or I you. 

Sometimes our legs weave together, because we were perfect like that. Sometimes you're sitting up in bed and looking over your shoulder at me.

However, you never look at me, and I'm so scared every time, a piece of you will just disappear. Your face is either covered by your hair, your face is covered by your arm, something in the distance has your attention. Regardless, I can never get you to look at me. I stroke your long curtain of blonde hair and try to push it away, but more yellow just waterfalls back into place.

They say dreams have meaning that correlate to our waking life. Maybe this is my subconscious telling me I'm not ready to face the truth. Maybe the day I see your face is the day I let you go. 

Some nights the need to see your face is hardly there, so long as I have you, I couldn't care less. I'll stroke a single finger between the scarred curves of your back, feel you shiver under my touch as you always did when I woke you up like that. Wait for you to turn around, grab my hand and kiss it. But in my dreams you grab my hand without turning and pull my arm around you, kissing it while your back is turned to me.

Baby are you there too? Is it you?

Sometimes I have to believe that it's actually you, because the warm wet tears that drop on my hand when you hold my hand like that will only tear me apart further if it's not you. 

If it's you I understand why you wake the dream when I force you to turn around. I force you to look at me sometimes and you yell for me to stop and then it all ends. I wake up in cold sheets, hand outstretched, legs searching, chest empty and heavy. You're not there. 

The next night you're there again. You always forgive me. You were like that in life as well. You always forgave me. Maybe not for everyone, but for me.

So when I told your back last night how sorry I was, and you told me to stop, its hard for me to believe these are all just dreams. But I did this. I caused us this pain. I tore your face from mine. You spoke to me, it was the first you ever spoke directly to me and I couldn't believe how wrong you were. 

But that was us right? 

You were always so wrong, and I was right. 

Last night I clung to your back, my fingers dug in your shoulders, I pressed my forehead to the nape of your neck. Cinders, earth, and smoke is what you always smelt like, a smell that at first turned me away, it smelt like home and the ruin it now was. But then you became home. I told you this, and I told you how much I missed the smell because at that moment I smelled nothing. And I said sorry. 

Sorry I didn't save you. 

Sorry I wasn't enough.

Sorry that I didn't love you enough. 

Sorry I couldn't save you.

Sorry I couldn't change you. 

I'm sorry. 

Your smooth rough night voice cut through the cold air and you simply said, "stop." This time it was so different from the rest, it was so… you. You never liked trouble, strong emotions that got in the way were a hassle. How we ever grew to be more was a fucking miracle. 

But you went on. 

You turned to me, hair covering your face, pointy pale nose poking out of the mess. I couldn't see them, but your bright blue eyes bore into mine, I knew they were. And you said, "stop."  

You moved in closer, nuzzled your face into my neck and kissed my throat. "You're the one good thing left in this world." Your teeth scraped across my skin as you spoke and created small goose bumps where you kissed. "You're one last virtue to this world." Your hands, rough, calloused, but almost real, snaked up my spine into my hair and tugged gently backwards for you to kiss my chin, but you don't, instead you say, "I'm sorry."

And I wake up with my face embedded in the cold pillow, my hands clutching at the blankets for more warmth. I have half a mind to set the whole room ablaze, but I feel your hand on my shoulder and you say "stop."

Someday I'll stop.

Someday I'll stop gasping when I wake up. Someday I'll stop trying to hold my breath when I feel nothing but the cold next to me and it has a tighter hold of my lungs than when your arms wrapped around my body and you kissed me till we were hot. Someday I'll stop searching for your face. Someday I'll be okay. 

It was just noon and the garden glistened in the sun. The world’s prettiest flowers blossomed in this garden, rich tycoons from around the world paid hefty riches for even a single bud. Today a young man led a father and son through the grounds, but today there was no intention of pruning flowers or gardens. In the distance towards the center of the Charas manor hedge maze, a light show displayed with the occasional chime of giggles.

“And she is the eldest? Correct?” The father asked the young man.

The young man nodded, purple curls bouncing with any slight movement, “Eldest sister yes, I am the eldest. She was supposed to be head of the family but due to her age and our parents passing, that could not come to fruition.”

The father and son glanced a single look at one another, his parents didn’t pass, they were murdered. However that was not their business, their business was with the light display up ahead. There were no longer lights of reds and oranges but now purples and blues and yellows. Along with the giggles came the soft whistles of a pan flute occasionally pausing to join in the laughing. The group journeyed quickly into the center, upon turning the corner of a large hedge, a large purple dragon zipped past the three men to dance to the sounds of the pan flute, but then the pan flute stopped along with beautiful laughter, and the dancing. Twins of the age of 9 sat on the floor, the young boy held the pan flute with daisies softly placed in his red hair, his twin sister next to him wore a crown of leaves and placed herself in front of the boy and the men. In the center of the dancing, grounds stood a girl with azure curled hair very similar to the man with purple and the twins of red. Her eyes glistened with a beautiful rainbow-like gossamer, her long lanky arms were still outstretched from where she left off with directing the dragon. The dragon had disappeared shortly after the boy had stopped playing the pan flute.

A small gasp of “Amir,” breathed out through her lips and quickly she dipped into a bow before the men. With a very subtle flick of her hand, she motioned for the twins to do the same. The boy was quick onto his feet and bowing, the small girl was slower and more suspicious. She bowed but kept a wary eye like a snake’s on the group.

“Lilou, Philomena, we’ve discussed the continuation of your training starting today, please see yourselves at the training grounds. The maids are waiting for you there.” Amir gestured with his head for the twins to get the hell out of dodge now.

“Brother, sirs.” Lilou bowed to both and shrank away from Amir’s eye. Philomena stayed put and stared down Amir.

“Phil,” Lilou whispered and held out a hand for his sister. Phil grabbed his hand and quickly led him away.

Amir looked back at Mathilda with an empty smile, “Mathilda, this here is Zeno and Silva of the Zoldyck family. They're here to see your nen performance.”

Mathilda seemed to shrink away from their stares, the older Zoldyck, Zeno, with eyes wide open stepped closer, “that nen– would you mind showing us your performance again dear?”

She looked from Zeno to Amir, “Amir, I-”

He tilted his head and gave her another smile, his lavender eyes glistened with annoyance, “It's okay Mathilda, Father and Mother would be so proud to see you today.”

Mathilda stared at him in confusion, but took a couple steps back and outstretched her arms again. “Ok, c-c-could you give me some room though, I perform better with lilou’s and Phil’s assistance.” She said softly.

The Zoldycks and Amir, while rolling his eyes, obeyed. Mathilda imagined the sounds of the flute again and the giggle of her siblings, she imagined the love of father dancing around grace of her mother. She displayed the pride of the Charas family with the dance of large lightning dragons. Both Zoldycks gasped as she displayed their family’s secret weapon.

“Don’t hold back Mathilda, go all out.” Amir admonished his voice growing colder.

Mathilda’s dance was thrown off with the inclusion of Amir’s words, she stumbled through a step but recovered flourished the lightning dragon into a blazing dragon, then a water dragon, and an earth dragon.

“More Mathilda,” Amir growled.

Mathilda rasped for air as she danced faster and faster, the dragon growled and grew more ferocious.

“Mathilda, all of it,” Amir yelled. Zeno's eyebrows furrowed as he watched the girl struggle to increase the amount of nen she produced.

He put a hand up, “th-th-that’s enough we’ve seen enough.”

His words had not crossed to Mathilda, instead, a loud shriek erupted from her very core as she released as much nen as was physically possible for her. The dragon erupted in multiple dragons, lightning, fire, earth, water, and the dragon made of bouquets fell at Zeno’s feet… and died, all the other nen dragons had dissipated. Mathilda’s head dropped backward like she was dazing haphazardly at the sky. She wobbled on her feet before she too fell, Silva was there in a flash to catch her. Blood flowed from her nose and eyes.

Sliva took out a handkerchief and placed it on her nose, he knelt down to allow her to lay down. Mathilda blinked as she came to, “s-s-sorry.”

Zeno cleared his throat and turned to Amir, “Is the pretty light all that the girl can do?”

Amir grinned, “Mathilda stand up,” he ordered.

Mathilda stood with Zeno’s aide, she stepped away from the two and closer to Amir. “Amir, what’s going on?”

“Take a couple steps back,” Amir ordered again. He shook off his coat and threw it across the yard. Silva crossed his arms and stood near his father.

Mathilda continued to stand unsteadily still with no clue what was going on. “Am I being tested for something?” She whispered.

“Just stay right there and don’t move. You know what to do.” Amir whipped out his arm to his right and a long line of electricity continued to extend out, “wrath of Electra!” he shouted.

“Hey, she won’t be of any use if she’s broken,” Zeno warned.

“She’ll be fine, Mathilda, catch.” Amir reared back his whip, Mathilda came too quickly and screamed for him to wait. At full strength, Amir whipped the lightning straight for Mathilda’s face. Mathilda screamed as she held out an arm in defense in front of her. The whip struck at her arm and she grabbed it instinctively, the whip dissipated into thin air. Zeno tilted his head in confusion. “Would you like to test it?” Amir gestured towards Mathilda.

Mathilda wiped the blood from her nose and glared into Amir’s unemotional eyes, “Amir I would like to go now. I have to return to my studies as well-” a hand hovered near her throat. Zeno’s clawed hand pointed at her jugular, it would have sliced through her throat had there been nen. Mathilda gently placed a hand on his and lowered his hand away. Where she touched, the old man’s skin began to dry and corrode, her eyes were now an inky black.

“Please step away sir. I feel uncomfortable,” her voice wavered like she was ready to burst into tears.

Zeno laughed and put his hands behind his back, the corroding ceased to spread and in fact disappeared altogether. "She lacks bloodthirst."

Silva nodded and stepped closer to his father, "I will not make a decision without your opinion."

Zeno picked a nearby rose and handed it to Mathilda who took it graciously. "What she lacks in bloodthirst, she makes up for in power and talent. It does need work, but she has good genes."

"It has been so long since last we've seen the dragon in the Charas family. To be honest we thought it had been lost. It would be a gift to have a stronger lineage with it. How old are you, my dear?"

Mathilda kept her eyes on the floor when addressing him, "fifteen, sir."

Zeno's eyebrows rose, "fifteen! Fifteen and your nen dragons are almost on par with my own dragon lance." Mathilda blushed, she had no idea what was happening and why there were two strange men in her garden complimenting her nen gifts, but she wasn't against the compliments. Neither Amir nor her parents ever gave her compliments, she was born perfect, why should she ever be complimented for what she was born with.

Zeno turned and started his journey out of the maze, "she'll do, Silva." He motioned a hand for Silva to follow. Silva nodded his head at both Amir and Mathilda for them to follow. Amir laced an arm around Mathilda's and dragged her along. His face was beaming and he placed a hand on Mathilda's head.

"You did so well," Mathildad's breath caught in her throat. It had been years since the last time her older brother gave her a compliment.

“The Zoldycks… they’re the other assassin family, right? Is this for the hunter exams? Can I participate now?” Mathilda bounced from foot to foot as her smiling face beamed at her brother. She had waited for this moment, she was ready now, she just wanted to get away from it all. This would allow her to gain the confidence for leadership over her family, and the freedom to explore away from their prestigious family. Amir had been… overwhelming since their parents…. Passing. If she were, to tell the truth, she feared him. She had the most potential for power in the family and was chosen for the next head of the family, she was supposed to be the scariest of them all. But in all honesty, a weird-looking shadow would have her jumping out of her skin. It made sense that Amir took the role from her until she was ready he said. Relief had flooded her that day, but his control over her and her siblings had been turning violent lately. Less familial or more like burdens he wished to push out of the way.

They entered the sitting room of the manor and Amir guided Mathilda to the nearby couch, “wait here, when I return I want you to be on your best behavior. Do not leave-” he paused at the sight of grime on her hands and face. The Zoldycks continued to walk past the room as Amir spoke with Mathilda. Amir snapped a finger to a pair of maids to help clean her up, one maid even reapplied her eyeliner.

“I’m 15 Amir, I’m not a child,” Mathilda laughed and batted away the maids as they finished fixing her hair.

Amir brushed a hand through her hair and laughed with her, “no, you’re not.” He turned and left the room while continuing to laugh.

Something about the laugh, or maybe it was his smile, or maybe it was the whole ordeal. Something wasn’t right and the excitement in Mathilda’s chest only morphed into anxiety. She had been left alone with not even a maid for company, the isolation only allowed the anxiety to fester. The seconds turned into minutes and the minutes felt like hours, was it nighttime now? Was she forgotten? Should she get up and check on Amir? The Zoldycks were assassins, oh god he could have murdered. They would kill him and everyone on the estate, where were the twins? She should go and look for Amir-

No.

Amir told her to not move, and Amir got very angry with her when she didn’t do as she was told. Sometimes he even took out his anger on the twins. Mathilda’s legs bounced in anxiety. She needed something to do to distract her, a book! All her books were in the library. Maybe she could play her lap harp, but they might still had guests over and Amir didn’t like it when she played in front of visitors. She put her face into her hands and tried with all her willpower not to scream into them.

Don’t cry, if you cry your makeup will run and you’ll have to excuse yourself. You could be going to the hunter exams, they won't accept you with mascara running down your cheeks.

She looked up from her hands, realizing she could have easily smudged the makeup. Glancing up, she found that the plants in the room had begun to wither.

Her father would have never allowed them to go unnoticed.

Amir had not cared for them and would yell at Lilou every time the boy tried to go near them. He said it was unbecoming of a man to be so enthralled with the empty life of a plant.

Mathilda stood from the couch and walked over to the nearby pothos pots, next to them was an abandoned ornate spray bottle, her father’s… a gift from her mother. There was still some water in it so she took it and spritzed it across the plant. She felt the soil, it was bone dry which made sense since the leaves were mostly brown now, but there was still some green here and there. She sprayed more till the soil was nicely moist. A smile graced her lips at the warmth she felt, her father still lived in a way.

She turned to check on the other plants in the room but immediately crashed into something larger and immobile like a wall. She yelped as the water sprayed on her and the wall. A hand wiped the water droplets off the lined she had spayed. She looked up and was locked into the stare of large cat eyes.

It was a boy around the same age as her with short black hair and matching black eyes. They seemed to bore into being, discovering every lie she ever committed in her life. He was a bit taller than her so it felt like the pair of eyes only bore down on her as if she was falling deeper and deeper into the earth’s crust. The hand wiping off the water returned to the pocket of his track jacket.

“Mathilda,” his voice was empty, not a question, not a command, just a statement of truth.

“Y-y-yes, I apologize. I did not notice you there,” Mathilda took a step back as they were nearly chest to chest. How long had he stood there for?

“You’re not perceptive and you lack much,” he states again blankly less of a statement of bullying and more of a statement of fact.

“Mathilda.” Amir admonished while walking into the sitting room with the other Zoldycks following close behind. “I told you to not move, the maids could have taken care of that. I apologize for my sister’s lack of decorum. What she has in talent she, unfortunately, makes up for in clumsiness.”

Mathilda felt like she was shot repeatedly in the chest. Why was Amir talking about her like this? In front of strangers no less. What she did was terrible but did she really deserve these remarks, and he was this boy barging into her home and breaking her personal space.

The boy zipped up his jacket to cover the watermark, “I don’t see how you found her acceptable.” The boy tilted his head towards Silva. Matilda took a couple more steps away from the boy and the group for that matter, feeling more like a gnat trapped under a microscope than a girl in her own home.

Silva smiled, “Illumi, be gentle, she is a nervous one. Your grandfather has taken a liking to her as have I. She lacks bloodthirst and the talent of an assassin but she provides so much potential for the Zoldyck future.” Mathilda only grew more and more confused, why did they talk about her like that. She wasn’t a Zoldyck, yes the Charas and the Zoldycks shared a bloodline many generations ago, but it had been quite some time since then.

“What is the point of an assassin if they have no bloodlust?” the boy named Illumi asked. Mathilda glanced over at Amir to see if she could read an answer on his face for what the hell was going on.

“Her nen capabilities far exceed your own and your fathers for that matter,” grandfather interrupted, “She can also perform the Dragon as well as I, as bereft as I am to admit. The lethality needs work, but it is a simple task for the family to extend a helping hand. I will not hear any more disregard for the girl’s potential.” Mathilda controlled her confusion and shock, how compassionate was this man? He considered her family even if their bloodline had not been relatives for years. She would get the help she needed for the hunter exam!

“It would do well to have the dragon remerge within the Zoldyck family again.” Zeno continued. His words felt like a sudden car crash inside Mathilda’s head.

She blinked, “What?”

“We’ll leave the two of you to introduce yourselves better, Amir show us to the drawing-room to complete the necessary contracts. We will require full custody of her care, from here on out,” Zeno and Silva turned to Amir who was ready to skip joyously through the halls. Before he could do so Mathilda was at his arm pulling for attention.

“Amir, explain to me what is happening, I’m confused,” she rarely ever spoke back to her brother. He usually beat her to the punch if she stepped out of place.

He roughly pulled his arm away from her, “control yourself Mathilda. I’m handling family affairs, do as you're told. Go introduce yourself to Illumi.”

Silva laughed at the sight of the two siblings, “you haven’t spoken to her about our arrangements? The poor girl must be so confused, Amir you are too cruel to your younger sister. Illumi explain the arrangements for her and help her with her bags.”

Fury bubbled in Mathilda’s chest. She would not be treated like an item, spoken to only in the third person. “No, all of you will explain yourselves now. I appreciate the kind words and compliments on my behalf, however, this is my home and I feel you have all disrespected it and me.” The men scoffed at her attempt at control, she had never raised her voice to those older than her. She had never disagreed or argued, by the look on Amir’s infuriated mug, she had made a grave mistake.

“Mathilda,” He managed to compose through gritted teeth, “you will apologize to the Zoldycks, immediately.”

Silva continued to laugh and approached Mathilda, he waved a hand dismissing all the confidence she emanated. “There is no need for that, she is in the right to feel offended. However,” he towered over her, “she is wrong that she owns this manor.” Mathilda took a step away from the man. His eyes dared her to argue, “you see child, the Charas family is a fairly distant branch of the Zoldyck family. The dragon you prance about with is the very weapon the Zoldycks have used to spread fear of our name, an honor truly. Your blood has given us our means, but we have given your family this life.” He placed a hand on the ornate couch, her mother had imported from overseas. Past Silva, Mathilda could see shame cloud Amir’s eyes, what did he have to be ashamed of? He was not on the chopping block recently. She felt a hand pull her chin roughly upwards. Her eyes bore into bright blue reptilian eyes her family’s blood gave him. He had barely applied any pressure to his grip and yet she felt that if he had squeezed just a little harder, her chin would disintegrate into powder, “The Zoldycks have allowed the Charas’ to govern themselves over the years, and through this time they may have been a family governed by a matriarch. But your matriarch has allowed you all to grow weak and lazy.”

A power within her, ancient, hungry, and feral, took control of her hand and swiped his arm away. She backed away from him with a growl but found herself cornered into the wall.

Silva’s smile grew darker at the display, not angry, but proud. The girl was more valuable than originally perceived. From the corner of her eye, she could see Illumi had a similar smile to his father's directed towards her.

“With your help, we will change that. Starting with your brother’s placement as head of the Charas name and your betrothal to my son Illumi.” He turned to motion for his father and Amir to follow him out of the room. Looking at Amir again, it was not shame that marred his features, it was astonishment. He had achieved his goal, he had dethroned his sister from a place that was rightfully hers.

Hatred and anger like no other spewed from her existence, her nen filled the room with rot. Any plant left alive, withered in her presence. “You sold me? After everything I gave you? I gave you the family name! I posed no threat!” she made to lunge at him but an arm caught her upper arm. A sharp pain pinched at the back of her head like someone had stabbed it, she fell to her knees in agony.

Amir mocked her with an amused cackle. If she could just see herself through his eyes. This monolithic disgrace of the Charas name was finally brought down to her knees and out of his hands. She was just the stepping stone to what he had planned for this world. “I had to cement your promise, sister. Enjoy your honeymoon, Matty. I agreed to pay for it.” He waved a hand and left with the Zoldyck elders to finalize the contracts.

Mathilda felt bile rise in her throat, but she swallowed her disgrace and whipped her attention to the man holding back from mass murder. A simple smile on a big-eyed face greeted her with what could only be described as admiration. “I think I like you like this. I see now why father chose you.” He grabbed her other arm and yanked her to her feet, though her legs still felt weak. “You are a perfect addition to the Zoldycks, I will enjoy using your power.”

Listen, this ship is just so wholesome

Mathilda tugged her backpack on tighter, accidentally catching a strand of her blonde wig by accident. It slipped askew, pull the hair over her eyes. She cursed loudly and felt the sting of tears, flowing against her wishes. Everyone was asleep now, Leorio and Kurapika had passed out on the living room couch while watching a scary movie. Gon and Killua were upstairs tucked into bed, she had personally seen that they were comfortable and cared for. She also made sure the movie was one Kurapika and Leorio had already seen, all it took was some sad eyes of, “I was never allowed to watch,” to convince them to watch it again. She could cry now, no one would see her. But now was the moment to leave. Everyone was safe and everyone was serene. Their multiple run ins with the Zoldycks was one too many, Illumi having hid in plain sight at the exams was surprisingly not the worst, having to fight her way in then back out of the Zoldyck estate was suicidal to say the least. But seeing Killua free and smiling hand in hand with Gon was worth the potential reveal of her true identity. She would need to change her appearance again wherever she went next. A hand gently tapped her shoulder, she gasped in surprise and turned to find Leorio shrinking back in apology. “Mathilda?” He wrapped his arms around himself, unable to figure out what to do with them. “Where are you going-” He watched as Mathilda readjusted her wig.

She had revealed who she really was to Killua after his rescue and encouraged him to keep fighting the control of his family. He motivated her into believing escape was possible, she would never Illumi now. Not when freedom was finally in her grasp. The others didn’t know. “What’s going on?” He asked softer.

The wig wouldn’t sit right and the placement only frustrated her more and more. The worried look in Leorio’s eyes only made her feel more vulnerable and weak. She let the loose wig fall to the floor, she had no more energy to mess with it. Truly she had no energy to have attached it in place in the first place. Bright Azure poofed out and caught Leorio by surprise, and as Mathilda sobbed, the coverup disguising her freckles began to wash away. “What?”

Mathilda sobbed into her hands further smudging the coverup away. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. If he catches me- if he finds that Killua has been with me this entire time-” Leorio took the moment to hold her close, and let her sob into his chest. From the front room, Kurapika stirred. “Let’s step into the study,” he whispered. He helped her move into the study where he closed the door behind them, allowing her to cry as much as she wanted. She explained everything to him, the engagement, the betrayal of her brother by giving her to the Zodyck family in trade for power, being on the run, nearly being discovered by Illumi at the exam. God what if she was discovered. She realized she had been holding onto Leorio tightly in close embrace. They had seated themselves on a couch and he had his arms around her. She push away from him and stood up. “I’m sorry Leorio, I can’t- I can’t let you get hurt because of my actions. He’d kill you, and then he’d kill everyone else but Killua. God, Killua, they would never let him be free if they found him traveling with me.” She sobbed harder, her lungs felt like they never caught enough air she breathed quicker and quicker til she felt her head go dizzy. Somehow she was on the couch again and Leorio was speaking to her with calm words. He did not touch her or get any closer than what was necessary. He knelt in front of her and directed her on what to do. “You’re safe Mathilda, he isn’t here,” his voice was so warm and relaxing. There was no fear in his voice, he did not fear the inevitable painful death Illumi would have planned for him. “You don’t know that, he could be anywhere!” “Killua or Kurapika would have sensed him by now, you’re safe Mathilda. And we’re going to continue to make sure you stay safe. We got Killua back, we did that, all of us. We are a family now. We won’t let you get hurt again. I promise you.” Something about him saying all of this felt right, like he couldn’t be wrong. When Leorio was serious he couldn’t be wrong or lying. The man was the worst liar. “Is there something I could do to help you right now to help you calm down?” Mathilda thought about it, she was so cold and alone as always. He would protect her but he might disappear, nothing stayed forever. “Sit next to me, don’t touch me, just stay.” She held herself and leant over her knees. Leorio did as she asked while clasping his hands over his legs. They sat like that in silence until her breathing slowed back to a regular pace and she sat back up. She continued to tell him what it was like living with Illumi and the Zoldycks, what it meant to be betrothed to an assassin against your will. How they cut her hair and changed her clothes to what they deemed appropriate, how she never had a word on what her future might be like. At one point she had tried to love him, tried to find a speck of how they could change. It only hurt her more. Leorio cleared his throat from something lodged in the back of his throat. Fear? Sorrow? He felt so sorry that his friend had to live in the conditions she did at such a young age, and there was no easy healing from the scars she received on her psyche. Without warning, Mathilda placed her head on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything or move, he let her relax and float back into a tired calm. As much as he wanted to promise protection and a never altering world,he couldn’t. They were all hunters now, save for Killua, but they all had their growing to do. He had to go back to his studies, he was still studying for his medical exams. It was a boring life away from his friends, unfortunately he had promises to his past friend- wait. “Mathilda?” He called to her softly, her closed lids fluttering open just slightly. “Come back home with me,” he said mostly to the wall in front of him. He was too scared to face the rejection in her eyes before she had the chance to speak it. “What do you mean?” Her speech slurred from exhaustion. “Nothing adventurous or exciting happens with medical students, come with me and stay by my side while I study. I-I-I

BREAKING NEWS

A prestigious family of six left a sad four early Tuesday morning.

The young children of Adan and Sol Charas awoke this cold Tuesday morning to the gruesome sight of their mother and father's brutal murder. Mister and Misses Charas, known as the co-presidents of Victory University, one of Gotham's most prestigious private universities. Mister and Misses Charas, co-owners of Virideon Labs are in partnership with Wayne corp, together with the Charas and Wayne family have provided paid schooling for underprivileged youths.

Sheriff's deputies report the cause of death to be fatal gunshot wounds to both victims. Mister charas received 10 gunshot wounds to the back while his wife received an alarming 20. No suspect has been found, but many questions have surfaced from this nightmarish event. Who could have committed such an atrocious act to this beautiful family of 6? How did these children continue to sleep soundly without waking once?

In other news, the eldest Charas son, Amir Charas (16), has submitted a plea for emancipation. When questioned about his decision he commented, "monsters are hunting. They will be looking to take advantage of the Charas fortune in any way they can. I understand Mr. Wayne means well in his offer for guardianship, however, my siblings and I have come to an agreement that I am the best candidate for their well-being." Mr. Charas ended with asking for no further questions and respect for his and his sibling's privacy. A hearing on Mr. Charas' ab-

The tv shut off and the siblings sat in silence. The two youngest held one another, the youngest brother sniffing every so often. The eldest Charas daughter held the remote and looked to the eldest brother for guidance. Her cheeks were puffy and red, her brunette curls matching the eldest in a messy failure of composure. "Will we be alright?" She asked.

Amir sighed with irritation and ran a hand through his mop of messy curls. “What kind of question is that Mathilda? Of course, it will be alright." He stood from the loveseat positioned in front of the t.v.

"You don't need to be angry Amir, she's just asking you a question we’ve all been thinking," the youngest sister snapped.

He rubbed his face then got up to put himself together, putting his messy locks in a loose bun. "I apologize. I've had the same question repeated to me constantly. But yes Matty, we will be alright." He placed a hand on her shoulder, "we have to be. I have to be. For us.." Lilou sobbed in response, Philomena hugged him tighter. Amir lowered to his brother's height and put his hand on his knee. "We're going to be okay, and no one will take advantage of our lives or our parents' gifts." He looked into Phil's eyes for the last part.

The doorbell rang and everyone waited in silence for it to go away, but not 10 seconds later the long ringing of chimes echoed through the silent manor.

Mathilda excused herself to answer it. "can't get a fucking moment of rest," Amir muttered and stood.

Mathilda returned with Mr. Wayne and Commissioner Gordon. "Apologies for the interruption, I'm sure the four of you wish to be left to mourn."

"And yet you knocked?" Philomena sneered. Lilou elbowed her in the ribs.

The detective did not respond but looked to Amir. "A moment please?"

"The court already gave us permission to stay here without adult supervision. The paperwork should already be on your desk." Amir stood defiantly.

"That's not why I'm here son, I need to ask each of you more questions about that night."

"Then why is he here?" Mathilda pointed at Bruce Wayne.

"I'm here to discuss the requirements of emancipation with your brother. I will help the four of you if this is what you want." The four looked at each other in disbelief.

"Mr. Charas," Gordon called to Amir.

"Yeah I'm coming, call me Amir. My brother and I are both Mr. Charas." He turned to Mathilda and whispered something in her ear. She nodded in response, Amir then left to the Study with the Commissioner.

"Do you want coffee, tea, or brandy Mr. Wayne?" Mathilda asked after the two had left.

"Coffee please." He asked while standing awkwardly in the room.

Mathilda nodded and looked at her sister and brother. "Go ahead and rest in the garden, I'll have the Commissioner speak to you out there." Philomena nodded and helped her brother up.

"Take a seat if you wish Mr. Wayne," Mathilda stood tall, chin held high and shoulders brought back stiffly while brewing her guest's coffee at the room's coffee station. She was doing her best to appear mature. Mr. Wayne noted the unusual posture as if she were a scared animal trying to appear bigger to intimidate him.

"If your brother wants to qualify for your custody, then the alcohol will need to be removed," Bruce commented.

Mathilda mumbled something incoherent before bringing Mr. Wayne his coffee. "Take it then, just leave the unopened bottle of Chardonnay. It was my father's gift to my mother on the day they met."

Bruce nodded, "Understandable, I'll send someone to pick the rest up. What happened to the staff?"

Mathilda made herself comfortable in the loveseat in front of Bruce's, "Amir and I made the decision to let them go. We wanted to teach ourselves responsibility and discipline. Amir is working on his license and I'm working on skipping two grades."

Bruce smiled kindly and took a sip of his coffee, "how old are you, Mathilda?"

"Fourteen sir," she took a sip of her tea.

"And the twins?"

"Twelve, but occasionally they work together to try to be 24," she chuckled at her own joke.

"It would seem the four of you are all working to be as mature as you can," Bruce raised his hand to pause Mathilda before she could snap back. "I am not trying to patronize, only compliment your teamwork. You are all doing a great job of taking care of one another." She looked away, the coffee station needed to be replenished. Bruce hummed, "how did you receive that?"

Mathilda looked back at the man in confusion and realized he was talking about the bruise marking the right corner of her chin. She shielded it from his view, "oh this. I got it when I was arguing with my mom. Not that she hit me!" She waved her hands frantically. "The night she… that night….  We'd been arguing about my actions that day. I was spying on Amir, and invading his privacy. I was worried about him since he got a rejection letter from Harvard." She looked into her cup in thoughtful memory. "It was no reason for me to hide in his room, my mom was trying to get me to understand that but I was being stupid-." She choked on the word and quickly lost her composure and was left a sobbing mess. Bruce stood and softly took the tea from her hands. She dropped to the floor and hugged herself. "D-d-don't tell Amir." She hiccuped.

He knelt next to her, "It's okay. I won't." He whispered. He had two sons near her age and knew how to comfort them when they were like this, though it usually came a little awkward to him. He had been reading parenting books to help improve his empathy skills.

"I told her she didn't love any of us and didn't pay attention to Amir enough. I told her I hated her and slammed the door on her. She asked me to open the door and I threw a baseball at the wall. It bounced back and hit me in the face." She laughed, "I deserved it. Sh-sh-she didn't deserve this. She should be here, I-I don't-" Bruce stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, don't,” he allowed her a moment to catch her breath. “No one deserves this. You deserve a morning to talk to your mom again.” He inhaled a deep breath,“I was there once, where you are now. Whoever did this is a monster, and you deserve justice. You deserve your parents." Mathilda sobbed harder.

A voice cleared behind them, Amir and Gordon were back. "Mathilda?" Amir’s eyebrows shot up.

"S-sorry. I'll be right there." She said standing and wiping her face hurriedly.

"I can move onto the twins and come back when you're ready," Gordon said softly.

Mathilda shook her head, "no it's best to get things done and said." She left with the commissioner to the study.

"What did you say?" Amir snapped his attention to Mr. Wayne the moment the two were out of the room.

Bruce went back to his seat and drank his coffee, "She needs a therapist, all of you need to see one. I can provide you with a few recommendations if you need."

Amir pinched the bridge of his nose and sat in Mathilda's seat. "Look, I know you feel like you connect with us due to our…..” he waved a hand in the air searching for the appropriate terms,  “-similar backgrounds. But we don't need your help. We're perfectly capable of taking care of one another."

Bruce took another sip of his coffee, "So I've come to understand. But do you understand the significance you will be playing?" Bruce kept his tone even, he'd only spoken to the eldest a handful of times but one thing was always certain. The kid was more than what he looked like. He stood at 5'9 but what he lacked in height he made up for in confidence and wit. Like his mother, he was also very hot-headed and prone to being irritable. Bruce would never forget the boy’s face the morning of their parents' passing. He was shell-shocked and wouldn't respond to anyone till an argument broke out between the wealthy elite of who would house the children.

Amir didn't shout but his voice boomed in every corner of the room. He made it perfectly clear no one would have him or his siblings. An army of the "elite" had gathered in front of the estate's gates, only Bruce was allowed to stay since he had visited the parents the previous night and needed to be questioned. Amir looked to the crowd and told them to get the fuck off his property, he included the social worker there to collect him and his siblings. Bruce had stayed in his place never suggesting guardianship until the parents' will was read later that afternoon. In it they asked Bruce to adopt the children as his own and take Amir on as his apprentice in business. Amir was not happy about any of this information and ensured that Bruce knew it through a series of curse words.

Philomena's strength was the only one capable of holding him back and calming him. She had pulled him out of the room, fifteen minutes later he came back into the room and apologized for his behavior but refused any guardianship. He then called in a lawyer.

Bruce put his coffee down and leaned forward to meet the gaze of the seemingly calm young man now. "You'll be a single parent to your siblings, Amir, are you prepared for that responsibility?" He didn't respond right away, for once he was considering somebody's words. "You still have your whole life ahead of you, you'll be graduating soon, won't you? What were your plans before this?"

"Stop," Amir growled, "just stop. I get what you're trying to do but it's not going to work. I've already committed to my decision. My siblings need familiarity and the knowledge that no one will take advantage of them for their fortunes. You may mean well, Mr. Wayne, but I still can't trust you or anyone else. Especially since we have no knowledge of who the killer is." He leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Bruce finished his coffee then nodded, "understandable. Then could we meet halfway?"

"Halfway? What don’t you get? I said no-"

"Yes I got that, but you will still need a sponsor for the court to approve anything and since your parents entrusted me with your care in the end they'll look to me for approval."

"Are you threatening me, Mr. Wayne?" Amir's eyes grew dark and something inside Bruce was breaking for the boy.

Bruce sighed and stood, "no son, no one's threatening you. Simply put, I'm suggesting I sponsor all four of you. I put in a good word to the judge, and on occasion, I drop by to check on you four and check on your needs. If you or your siblings need help in some way they won't be taken from you but I will be there to lend a hand." Amir stayed seated and continued to glare up at Bruce, "I give you my word I am not trying to take anything from you."

Amir's glare didn't falter, "what's the catch? What do you want in return?"

"In return you do whatever it is you want to accomplish in life, go to school. Take your parents' place, travel the world, I don't care. Just do me the favor of not trapping yourself in Gotham." Bruce held out his hand, "Is that a deal?" Amir's glare became placid. He sat there and stared at the man's hand in disbelief.

"I want there to be a catch," Amir stated blandly.

Bruce chuckled, "Um, okay? Name it."

Amir looked away, unable to meet the man's eyes, "I want my family to have complete ownership of the lab. You can leave all the professionals who know what they're doing there but I want to have the lab. In return, you take care of the school."

"The lab?"

"Yes."

"I hope you know, I need to know why." Bruce crossed his arms.

Amir did not respond right away, "my parents loved it." He was barely audible, "Lilou and Phil, it's always been their dream to work there. I understand it's not a playground but we need something aside from this house to be ours." His voice cracked at speaking "ours." He didn't mean him and his siblings, he meant his siblings and his parents.

"And you and Mathilda?" Bruce raised his eyebrow.

Amir finally met Bruce's eyes, the boy's eyes were bloodshot and it was hard for Bruce not to note the dark circles forming. "Mathilda’s been my best friend and trusted accomplice since she was born. We fight a lot but at the end of the day, we understand the other’s point of view. Originally, we planned on being business partners. The other day I overheard her speaking to my father about owning a simple farm. She fell in love with them on a recent school trip." He laughed. "It might just be a phase but she's always been humble like that. Likes starting things with a blank slate. I trust her to care for her own life, as should you. Allow her to figure it out herself."

"And you?"

Amir kept his eyes locked with Bruce, "I will take over for my parents. Till I'm completely educated, I give you permission to make the financial decisions regarding the lab. But when I do get there I want to do more than the lab. I want Gotham's future to revolve around biological sciences."

"Any reason why?"

The boy sighed, "It's personal." Amir said placidly.

Bruce nodded and stuck out his hand, "I'll help you get there, is it a deal?"

Amir grabbed his hand and shook. "Deal. Do me a favor and don't bankrupt my parents' company before I get there."

***************************************

Commissioner Gordon walked alongside Bruce, escorting him to his car. "Did speaking to them give you any clues to a suspect?" Bruce asked.

Gordon stomped out his cigarette, "I have a couple tips leading me to think Mafia. The eldest mentioned a man with a gun visiting his father one evening a couple weeks ago, probably Falcone. The boy said the youngest girl bumped into him and the gun peeked through the jacket. The story checks out with the youngest as well, though it's hard speaking to her. She makes you feel like any second she'll lash out and bite off your nose. You get anything from speaking to the two oldest?"

Bruce paused in front of the opened car door, "I don't think we have to worry too much about them. They have each other, and it's the one good thing to see come from this."

Gordon patted him on the shoulder, "it's a good thing you're here Bruce. No one knows what they're going through more than you." Bruce couldn't respond and said his goodbye.

"Will we be making accommodations sir?" Alfred asked once the door closed.

"No Alfred, I don't think we will." Bruce smiled.

"Are they anything like how you were?" Alfred asked while pulling the car away from the gates.

"Hard to say. There's definitely anger there, especially in the eldest boy, but right now fear is mostly what I see. I didn't get a chance to speak to the twins. But there will always be time for that later." He typed away at a message to Robin.

"No more batlings?" Alfred asked in a deadpan tone.

Bruce snorted, "no batlings Alfred, you may sleep well tonight."

"Very good sir."

***************************************

A dark shadow casted over the Charas manor later that night. It watched as the second eldest wrapped herself and the twins in a thick blanket in front of a fireplace, unable to sleep upstairs. Upstairs in their parents’ bedroom is where their parents' lives were taken. Upstairs was where they failed to hear gunshots echoing through the night.

Upstairs was where the eldest sat against a wall, cigarette in hand. Nearby was a bucket and a used sponge. The crime scene investigators and cleaners had already been by, but he needed to do it too. He came up empty on his investigation and continued to wipe down the scene more. On occasion, the tiniest fragment of the body had been found but Amir was quick to clean. Now he sat tired and in need of sleep, but the window opened letting in a cold breeze. He stood suddenly and lifted his hand, pointing a gun at the caped crusader.

"Where were you?" He growled loudly. "Where the fuck were you!" Tears were falling and he wanted to pull.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Batman stepped cautiously through the window and closer to Amir. Amir pulled back the hammer. Batman stopped inching closer, "I'm here now, and I'm going to help."

"How are you going to do that? The police don't know shit, I just went over the entire crime scene," he crouched down and grabbed the sponge inside. The water was pink, "you think you can fix this?" He threw the pink sponge as Batman stood, allowing the sponge to slap across his chest armor and fall limply to the floor.

The door to the hallway squeaked and then quickly squeaked again. "Fuck." Amir said disgruntled and lowered his gun. "Stay here," he shook the gun at batman. He walked over to the door and called out the hallway, "everything is okay."

The door squeaked open again. Lilou whimpered and scurried over to his brother's side, "is Batman helping you investigate?" He whispered.

"No Lilou, he doesn't help." Amir held Lilou closer as the younger one cried more.

"Are you going to shoot him?" Lilou hiccuped, eyeing the gun.

Amir patted his head, "Dad gave me this to kill intruders."

"Come on son let's-" Amir pointed the gun again.

"I. Am not. Your son." Amir spoke around the cigarette.

Lilou let out a small scream and buried his face into Amir's side, "don't shoot him, please don't shoot, Amir." Amir kept the gun raised, then the door squeaked again. Phil and Mathilda stood frozen in the doorway.

"Amir, what the fuck?" Phil yelled.

Amir growled, "take Lilou and go to the safe room, I'll come to you later." Mathilda nodded and grabbed Lilou and Phil as they both protested but didn't fight.

“Don’t be stupid” Mathilda remarked before leaving.

When they were safely away he walked closer to the bedside table, gun still drawn. He opened it and threw a picture at the batman. Batman caught it easily and inspected the picture once Amir turned on the bedside lamp. It was a picture of a bride and groom with two toddlers in hand and an older couple on the side. "Carmine and Loisa Falcone, figure out the connection and get out."

"Why didn't the police find this?" Batman asked. Amir opened the drawer and pushed a hidden button, the bottom of the drawer lifted. "I see, I would like to help you more, but I need you to put down the gun."

Amir looked at the gun and looked back at batman, he lowered the gun. Batman charged forward and snatched the gun away from the boy. He shoved the boy effortlessly when he tried charging back. The gun was fully loaded, Batman unloaded the bullets and put them in his utility belt as well as the gun. "I'm confiscating this.I won't tell the police, but this could have caused you to lose them." Amir stayed sitting on the bed where he fell, glaring at the big shadow. Batman sat next to him, Amir scooted away. The cigarette Amir was smoking had landed away in the corner, its light gone out. Amir pulled out another and lit it. "You shouldn't be smoking."

"Try to take it from me and I'll bite you," Amir warned and blew smoke in Batman's face. Batman waved the smoke away with a low growl.

"You say you want to be their guardian," he shot back. Amir grumbled and threw that cigarette as well. "Good way to start a fire, not just that but the others could've gotten hurt as well-"

"Are you really fucking lecturing me on gun safety as I'm sitting where my parents were murdered?" Amir mockingly laughed.

"The irony,” Batman said emotionlessly. “You obviously knew what you were doing and knew that if a bullet ricocheted it could have hit one of your younger siblings." Amir did not respond, he only tensed. Batman looked down at him and crossed his arms. "Why the big show?"

The boy pulled his legs in close, "I knew you were coming," he mumbled. For the first time that night, Batman heard the boy instead of the mask of a man. Batman looked down at the mattress they were sitting on, it was new and in the corner were folded blankets. Even the bed frame shone with a new varnish.  He planned on more than waiting.

"At first I was excited. THE Batman was coming to save the day right? But then again, you didn't, if you did you wouldn't have to come. And then I was angry, and I didn't want you to come. I didn't want anyone else in here, this is ours. We live here and more people keep butting in thinking they know how to fix us. We didn't need fixing." Amir looked back up. Batman was staring.

"They're trying to help you, Amir. I understand you are very mature for your age but you are still sixteen. You have so much to grow into, so much more to see in the world. All single parents of sixteen still require help, Amir." Batman held out his hand for the box of cigarettes in Amir's pocket. "The world is sometimes how you imagine it is, people, trying to tear you down with your weaknesses, trying to take advantage of what you have."

Amir slapped the cigarette box into the bat's hand with annoyance, but Batman's gaze did not look away from the boy's, and did not speak until Amir met him, "but it's kind too, people are also there who want to genuinely help you, allies, friends, companions. You do have people watching your back." It was silent in the room. Nothing moved, even the shadows seemed stiller than usual. "I'm sorry I couldn't save your parents. I owe you so much for that. Let me help you now. I will find your parents' killer, Amir, I promise you."

Amir could only nod, face still contorted with anger.

Batman stood and walked to the window, "no more guns," he admonished, "no more cigarettes. No alcohol. The court will be looking for any reason to take away your emancipation and custody." The batman flew out the window and Amir was left to himself.