How Un-fur-tunate
Ayato, Thoma, Xiao x gn! Reader
Summary: You turn into a cat! ...but you don't know whether your doting and overly protective lover is a blessing or a curse in this situation.
Genre: fluff, crack
Warnings: none, just jealous men
Note: A spin-off of smitten kitten but the situation is uno reversed (evil laugh). But because each story has gotten quite long, you remain a cat indefinitely >:3
Also, no cat puns this time sorry, but check the end for a surprise!
Kamisato Ayato
Ayato is rarely a free man, and so whenever he's no longer chained to his work, his first mission is to seek you out!
But today was a little different.
He had searched high and low, in the estate and in Inazuma city, even dispatching a few shuumatsuban in hopes of getting even a glimpse of you.
His only companion in his woes? A random cat that kept following his every move.
The cat even has some of your features and accessories, which led him to think that you secretly owned a cat.
Oh well, explanations are for later. Now, he just pats the cat with a deep frown on his gorgeous face as no news of you has reached him yet.
The cat was a noisy fella. Answering his every rhetoric question and his every sigh about missing you.
It was starting to impatiently nip and scratch on the hems of his sleeves when a shuumatsuban barges in, chest heaving in a panic.
"My Lord! We've apprehended a treasure hoarder who admitted to attacking (name)!"
Ayato shoots up from his position, heart pounding a mile per second but face eerily cold, "And (name)? Where are they now?"
The shuumatsuban hesitates before speaking up, "The treasure hoarders claimed to have...turned them into a cat with an ancient relic? The said relic is now allegedly destroyed after its use."
The poor guy winced as he spoke, knowing fully well how absurd it sounds. He can only hope that the Commissioner won't have his head for reporting such nonsense.
But as those words were spoken, the cat in his arms meowed loudly, as if joining in on the conversation.
"Yes! That's what happened! It's me, Ayato, it's me!"
You desperately exclaim, but all that came out was "meow! meooooow!"
Ayato looks down at you and believes the story for one heart-stopping second before scoffing at himself, "No...that's ridiculous."
You bite him as punishment.
When he finally, finally believes you after pointing at yourself in the portraits that he keeps around, pulling on his pants to tug him towards your room, and a terrible attempt at using his brush and ink to spell your name...you might as well wish you haven't tried at all.
He's so smug and teasing about it, please feel free to bite his fingers should you feel annoyed.
He parades you around the estate, arms clinging around your form and bouncing you up and down like one would to a child.
Your ears and tail are the common victims of his affectionate kisses and gentle tugs. When you do turn back, he promises to adopt a kitty (and endlessly tease you about this situation).
"Don't worry," he nuzzles your head for the nth time in an hour, "no other cat is as adorable as your cat form, my dearest."
He even lets his bemused sister pet you after she hesitantly requests to do so (she doesn't want to miss this moment!)
But when Ayaka has been petting you for too long and you start to purr and melt under her gentle ministrations, he suddenly feels a wave of possessiveness. The commissioner then snatches you away and locks the both of you in his room.
Definitely gatekeeps your cat form for himself, poor you (:P)
Thoma
Thoma had just finished feeding the stray cats and dogs and was on his way back to the Kamisato Estate when he noticed a new cat trailing behind him.
The cat looked too well groomed to be a stray, it even had some accessories exactly like yours!
Was it the (last name) clan's pet? Maybe it escaped and got lost?
Whatever the case, Thoma gently picks it up and carries it with him while he looks for you. Afterall, the path back to your place is not the safest, especially for a defenseless house cat.
Thoma chuckles at the way it melts into his arms exactly how you usually would.
"Sadly, you don't have a collar with your name on it, so I don't know what to call you. But knowing (name), you either have an elegant name or a really silly one."
You couldn't even talk back (meow back?) at his little comment before Thoma scratches at just the right spot between your ears and you go slack.
"Let's get you back to your owner hmm? I'm sure they're worried for you," he coos in the voice he reserves for animals and babies. "Just don't tell them that I'm using this as an excuse to see them."
Your cat self perked up at his last statement and looked up at him with an amused "oh ho ho! Really now?" expression.
Thoma didn't know cats could even be that expressive!
He rants and continues to sing praises about his amazing lover along the way to your home. This is great, you internally laugh, so much teasing material handed to me for free!
When he finally reached the gates to your estate, the sight of frantic guards and your personal advisor about to lose their wits made him think of the worst possible scenario.
Fear and paranoia dumps on him like a bucket of cold water.
Did something happen? Did something bad happen to you?
Your personal advisor notices him and immediately rushes to the both of you in relief.
"Mr. Thoma! Thank goodness you're here! (Name) had turned into a cat after a battle with an abyss mage and had escaped─" they look down at the unimpressed kitty in his arms and gasp comically.
"My liege!" They cry out in relief.
You meow back in a dismissive tone not unlike how you would normally say "Yes yes, fret not," to your anxious advisor.
"I was so worried seeing you gone! I even called over the Arataki gang to help with the rescue mission!"
Thoma, after finally snapping out of his shock and confusion, looks down at you flustered. He thinks about everything he's embarrassingly said to your cat form and begs the ground to swallow him up whole.
You're never going to let him live it down, are you?
That's fine, you'll make up for it with kisses!
"Wait a second, why the Arataki gang and not the Yashiro Commission?" Thoma asks, knowing your genuine friendship with the Lord he serves and how much more capable they are. No offense, Itto.
"Well, the gang are your close friends right? Plus, I didn't think the Yashiro commission would believe the whole cat shenanigan and might call us liars," your advisor scratches the back of their head.
"No please, if a friend is in need, no matter how ridiculous the situation is I'm sure Lord Kamisato is ready to help!"
Just as Thoma reassures your staff, the Arataki gang comes barreling in.
"IS IT TRUE? HAS (NAME) TURNED INTO A CAT AND IS NOW MISSING?" Itto screeches.
"NOOOO NOT MY BEST FRIEND AND PARTNER IN CRIME!" He bawls as the rest of the gang awkwardly pat his back. He sniffs, "It's alright, leave the search to me! I'll get them back no matter what!"
Thoma is stunned, such a dedicated friend..?
"Itto they're uh... they're right here," Thoma slightly raises you up in his arms.
The oni gasps dramatically and snatches you away despite Thoma's protests.
"MY GOODNESS! THEY'RE ADORABLE!" He nuzzles his face into your neck and Thoma knows he means well! But the housekeeper has never seized you back so fast, an uncommon frown/pout combo taking over his face.
He's not jealous, not jealous at all! Please don't add this to the growing list of what to tease Thoma with.
Xiao
You have been consistently visiting him at the exact same time every day unless you say otherwise. So when you weren't in your meeting spot and no word came from you saying you'd be late, he's a little concerned.
That's fine, he can wait. He's not the type to worry easily.
SIKE
Man is searching everywhere.
He checked your usual spots first: the docks at the harbor, at your favorite restaurant, even back at your home.
And when he fails to find you, he returns to your meeting spot atop Wangshu Inn where a cat oddly resembling you greets him eagerly.
His intuition is so strong he immediately knows it's you.
To be honest, it catches you off guard at how fast he reacts to your situation. You even prepared ways to convince him that it's you!
After quickly scanning over your cat form to check for injuries, he picks you up in his arms as gently as he can, mumbling a small polite "sorry" before whisking you away.
Xiao's first mission: take you to Cloud Retainer in hopes of turning you back.
His second mission: try not to combust at your cuteness after you had licked his arm in affection.
After some unsuccessful impromptu trips to several adepti later, his last hope depends on Zhongli's vast sea of knowledge.
During this whole ordeal, Xiao has not let go of you once, even when the adepti poke and prod at your cat body (respectfully) to try and investigate you.
So when Zhongli asks to hold you, you can almost see math equations hovering over his head as he is torn between agreeing or not.
Now don't get me wrong, Xiao trusts Zhongli with his entire being, but the thought of this smart, attractive, desirable former archon and bachelor holding you (yes, even though you're a cat) somehow sets off alarms in his head.
Yet you knew that Zhongli is most likely the key to your cure, so you gently headbutt Xiao's hands to tell him it's fine.
"Hmm," Zhongli frowns slightly as he twists and turns you in his arms, intensely surveying the elemental energy around you. "Alright, I have figured it out. So what happened was─" he proceeds to go on an hour-long lecture to tell you and your lover what could have caused this and how they can turn you back.
"You can leave (name) with me while you go look for the cure," Zhongli smiles kindly, cradling you close to his chest.
"No thank you," Xiao immediately answers and grabs onto you, vanishing in a puff of black smoke.
The parlor consultant only smiles in amusement after the two of you had left, "Ahh, youngsters."
a little treat: the whole fic summed up in three photos
badly edited by me as per usual hahshbjhkgl
