summary: your mind begins to wander as you comfort your boyfriend over the loss of his closest friend.

warnings: smut, 18+ ONLY

smut starts at *

part one | part two

It had been a full 24 hours since Gale Cleven’s plane didn’t return.

And you knew your boyfriend would be back to base any minute.

You tried your hardest to catch Rosie after he got off his fort, but you knew he couldn’t say anything until after the briefing anyway.

It had been almost 26 hours before Rosie came to you.

“Nash died.” He said quietly, “Speas, too. His whole crew. Gone just like that.”

You frowned, putting a hand on Rosie’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, Ro. I know it’s not easy —“

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He interrupted you.

You sighed, “I’ve never personally been up, so I didn’t have anything to tell you. I just see the after.”

He turned, dazzling blue eyes staring into yours, “I’m sorry about Major Cleven. I know your boyfriend won’t be too pleased to hear about this.”

Your boyfriend.

The words burned your ears and the jealous tone in Rosie’s voice made you briefly wonder something, but you shook it off.

“I—“

“Nurse.”

You turned to find Harry Crosby, who had just made it back to base by some miracle along with Blakely’s crew, save one who didn’t make it. How they managed to limp back to England, you had no clue.

“Yes, lieutenant?”

“Major Egan’s looking for you.” Harry replied, turning and walking away once you nodded in acknowledgment.

“I gotta go.” You said to Roise. He nodded solemnly.

“Find me after?” He asked, hopeful.

You smiled, “You know it.”

You felt more nauseous the closer you got to Bucky’s bunk.

You admired Gale — who wouldn’t? The man was as close to the picture of an all-American hero as anyone could get.

But you knew better than anyone what Buck meant to John.

The moment your knuckles rapped against the door, it swung open.

John Egan stood there with a whiskey bottle hanging loosely from one hand.

“Bucky?” you asked quietly.

He didn’t answer. He simply turned and walked back inside.

You slipped in after him and shut the door.

“John.”

He let out a humorless laugh.

“My best friend’s missing.” He stared into the untouched drink on his desk. “Probably dead.”

Your heart twisted.

You crossed the room slowly until you were beside him.

“I know,” you said softly. “But this is Buck we’re talking about. If anybody can make it home…”

He barked another laugh.

“Yeah?” His dark blue eyes finally met yours. “What’d your other boyfriend have to say about that?”

You blinked.

“…What?”

“Rosenthal.” His jaw tightened around the name. “Saw you with him. Everybody did.”

“John—”

“Ran straight to him soon as he got back.”

You stared at him in disbelief, “You’re serious.”

His silence answered for him.

“I came here because I was worried about you.”

“Rosie lost friends today, too. I checked on him because that’s what decent people do.” You shook your head. “And then I came here because I knew you’d be falling apart over Buck.”

John’s shoulders sagged.

“Instead you accuse me of cheating?” Your voice cracked. “That’s unbelievably cruel.”

The anger drained out of him almost as quickly as it’d appeared.

“Jesus…” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry.”

He looked suddenly exhausted.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

He stepped into your space carefully this time, as though afraid you’d pull away.

His hands settled on your arms.

“I’m sorry, baby,” said John again.

You searched his face for a long moment before the anger finally gave way.

He exhaled shakily and rested his forehead against yours.

Before you could answer, his mouth found yours.

It wasn’t slow or particularly gentle. It was desperate.

*

You cupped his face, kissing him back for only a moment before easing away, “John.”

His forehead rested against yours as he breathed unevenly.

“Don’t leave,” he whispered.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky backed you against the wall, pinning you in and kissing you deeply. His hands roamed your body, creeping under the hem of your uniform dress.

You were sure he was emotional over the loss of his friend, seeking comfort in you. You had never gone there with John — never this far. Nothing beyond kissing.

His lips found your neck, kissing lightly before you felt him bite down. Gasping and gripping his shoulders tightly, you could feel him grin against your throat. His calloused hand lifted your thigh, prompting you to wrap your leg around his waist.

“Bucky—“

He pulled back, staring into your eyes, “Do you want this? If you don’t, tell me and I’ll stop.”

You nodded faster than you expected yourself to, “I want you.”

This was what you needed to get Rosie out of your mind once and for all. You needed John Egan — the man that you love.

And he needed you in this moment.

You felt his hand at the top of your panties, slipping inside to find you already wet.

His forehead pressed to yours, he groaned, rubbing slow circles around your clit. You had never felt anything like this before, your heart pounding.

Bucky moved his hand out, picking you up and moving you to his bed. You felt disappointed slightly at the loss of contact, him not even bothering to discard your clothes or his.

Something about the lack of intimacy made you have a clarity, suddenly tasting the liquor on his breath when he climbed on top of you and kissed you again.

Nonetheless, your body and mind still wanted John Egan.

He pulled your panties off, tossing them to the floor in his room. Bucky freed himself from his pants, rubbing against your sex twice before slipping inside of you.

The pressure was painful and he waited, whispering something to you but your mind was wandering.

Wandering to a certain man who also had dark hair and blue eyes.

You picture Rosie being the one to kiss you like this. You had a feeling deep in you that Rosie would be more gentle. Take his time, being all about you. Nothing like this drunken stupor of a hookup.

Bucky moaned as he began to move, and you found yourself whimpering beneath him in pleasure.

Not from his movements — but from the fantasy you had conjured up in your mind.

Rosie whispering how beautiful you looked as he laid you down, removing all of your clothes before removing his uniform. You blushed inwardly at the want of him in his uniform. Rosie kissing down your body and taking his time, slipping his fingers inside of you until you came.

You threw your head back, moaning loudly at the thought. Bucky seemed to relish in this, speeding up and wrapping a hand around your throat.

You knew Rosie would cherish your body.

Worship you.

Entering you so slowly until you begged him to move, and him doing everything you asked him to.

You broke away, feeling a pressure build up in your lower stomach, “I-“

“Shh,” Bucky shushed you and continued fucking you, “I know.”

But he didn’t know.

You came as tears ran down your cheeks at the pure guilt you felt for imagining another man.

Bucky followed you, kissing your salty tears away.

You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore.

You avoided Rosie until the next morning. You knew he would be going on this suicide mission along with your boyfriend.

“Please be careful.” You whispered as Rosie wrapped his arms around you.

It was early, and no one would find the two of you outside of the nursing hut.

The sun was just beginning to wake, and Rosie appreciated the way the dew clung to you. It made you look ethereal.

Rosie did notice your absence and not seeking him out like you had promised, and he didn’t fail to notice the purple spots that littered down past your uniform collar. You had tried to cover them, but he was observant.

His stomach twisted at the thought of Major Egan having any part of you.

Maybe Rosie could get lucky and die, saving himself the heartache of never having you.

He shook his head, knowing the grief it would cause you. He would never be so selfish.

“I’ll see you later.” Rosie promised you, “We can get a milkshake.”

“A milkshake?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you pulled away, “Are we eight years old?”

Rosie shrugged, “Depends. You still only like strawberry?”

“Ha ha.” You laughed sarcastically, “Strawberry is a superior flavor and you’re just mad about it.”

“Sure, if that helps you sleep at night.” He grinned as you laughed for real this time. God, how he loved that sound.

As he bid you goodbye and loaded up into his fort, he promised himself that he would come back to you.

Rosie watched as you hugged Major Egan, desperately wanting you in his arms instead.

He turned his head as you pressed your lips to Egan’s.

A/N: So admittedly, she's not a dog-person. Yet. But she will be! And we met our main man, Benny DeMarco in this chapter! Please enjoy this delightfully fun chapter. Next chapter is going to progress some things and give some background on Evie and her first marriage! I'm also not very sure that I'll be able to update this week. My cousin is in the process of dying and she's reached her final stretch. We're expecting a funeral soon and we're just not sure when. Please be patient with me in the meantime. Thank you! And as always, let me know what you think!

lol I’m just curious how some of the guys would react!

this idea is soooo cute!!!! I hope you enjoyed xx

JOE LIEBGOTT

• Joe notices something is wrong before you even say anything.

• You keep staring at the menu like it personally offended you, then quietly suggest that maybe you are not that hungry after all.

• “What’s the matter with you?”

• When you finally admit that you had not realized how expensive the restaurant was, he looks at you like you have completely lost your mind.

• “You think I brought you here so you could pay?”

• He would act mildly insulted that you were worried about it, then order whatever he wants and encourage you to do the same.

• Joe is not exactly rolling in money, so he may internally regret choosing the place once the bill arrives — but he would rather walk barefoot on hot coals than let you know that.

• He would probably make some sarcastic comment about the tiny portion sizes afterward.

• “Twenty dollars and they gave me half a potato. I oughta go back in there and get my moneys worth!”

BABE HEFFRON

• Babe also did not realize how expensive it was.

• The two of you would have the exact same horrified expression when you opened the menus.

• He would lean across the table and whisper, “Do you think they’d notice if we left?”

• You would spend several minutes debating whether it was too late to pretend you had entered the wrong restaurant.

• Babe would still insist on paying, though he would look a little pale when the check arrived.

• The rest of the date would be spent laughing over how out of place you both felt.

• He would suggest getting cheap ice cream afterward so the night did not feel so serious.

• Honestly, it would probably become one of your favorite dates purely because of how badly it went.

EUGENE ROE

• Eugene chose the restaurant, so he already knows what it costs.

• The second he sees you searching for the cheapest thing on the menu, he gently closes it with his hand.

• “Get what you want.”

• You try to argue that you are perfectly happy ordering a side salad, but he is not buying it.

• He would never embarrass you or openly mention your money worries in front of anyone.

• He just quietly reassures you that he invited you and has taken care of it.

• There is no performance or macho insistence about paying. He simply makes it clear that you have nothing to worry about.

• Somehow, his calmness would make you stop feeling guilty almost immediately.

JOHN EGAN

• Bucky deliberately chose somewhere nice because he wanted to impress you.

• It never occurred to him that you would look at the prices and panic.

• When you quietly mention that the restaurant is more expensive than you expected, he gives you an almost offended look.

• “Sweetheart, did you seriously think I was letting you pay?”

• He would encourage you to order whatever you wanted, plus wine, appetizers and dessert.

• You would accuse him of showing off.

• He would grin and say, “Is it working?”

• The bill could wipe out half his wallet and he would still hand over the money without blinking.

• You would later discover him surviving on cigarettes and cafeteria coffee for the rest of the week.

GALE CLEVEN

• Gale notices you checking the prices but waits until the waiter leaves before asking about it.

• Once you explain, he calmly tells you that he planned on paying when he invited you.

• You insist that you do not want him spending that much money on you.

• “I wouldn’t be doing it if I couldn’t.”

• He would not order extravagantly just to prove a point. He would choose something reasonable and make you feel comfortable doing the same.

• If you still seemed uneasy, he might suggest splitting a dessert afterward rather than ordering two.

• Gale would make the whole situation feel completely normal instead of embarrassing.

• The next date would mysteriously be somewhere much more casual.

ROSIE ROSENTHAL

• Rosie notices immediately when you begin mentally calculating how much everything will cost.

• He quietly asks whether you are uncomfortable and listens without making you feel silly.

• He tells you that he invited you because he wanted to spend the evening with you, not because he expected anything in return.

• He would happily pay, but he would not dismiss your feelings or make decisions for you.

• If the restaurant was genuinely making you miserable, he would suggest leaving.

• “We could eat anywhere. I’d rather you enjoy yourself.”

• You would probably end up staying once he reassured you, but the fact that he was willing to abandon the reservation would mean more than the expensive dinner.

• Rosie is also absolutely ordering the most extravagant dessert for the two of you.

HOOSIER SMITH

• Hoosier looks at the menu, sees the prices and quietly mutters, “Jesus Christ.”

• He is just as shocked as you are, but refuses to admit that he may have made a mistake.

• When you suggest leaving, he shrugs and says he never liked the place anyway.

• You both walk out before ordering and find a cheap diner down the road.

• Hoosier would act like this was always the plan.

• “Food’s probably better here.”

• It is.

• He spends the rest of the night making fun of the expensive restaurant and insisting that no steak could possibly be worth that much.

• Years later, he would still claim it was one of your best dates.

SNAFU SHELTON

• Snafu absolutely picked the restaurant because he thought it’d be funny to “see how rich people eat.”

• The second he opens the menu, even he goes quiet.

• “…Eight dollars for mashed potatoes?”

• You admit you brought enough money in case he wanted to split the bill.

• He snorts.

• “Darlin’, if I expected you to pay, I wouldn’t have brought you.”

• The problem is…he also does not have enough money.

• So now the two of you are silently doing math on the back of a napkin.

• He’d suggest ridiculous solutions with a completely straight face.

— “Think they’d notice if we climbed out the bathroom window?”

• In the end, he’d swallow his pride and order the cheapest thing on the menu.

• The minute you leave, he’s laughing.

• “Ain’t no meal alive worth that much. We got robbed and we didn’t even get dessert.”

• He’d end the night buying gas station snacks with the last few dollars in his pocket, insisting they tasted better anyway.

SID PHILLIPS

• Sid notices before you even say anything because you’ve been looking at the same page for five minutes.

• “What’s wrong?”

• You quietly admit that the prices are way higher than you expected and you’re embarrassed because you don’t think you can contribute much.

• Sid’s face softens immediately.

• “I asked you out. I planned for this.”

• He’d never make you feel guilty or like you owed him anything.

• If you still seemed uncomfortable, he’d suggest leaving without a second thought.

• “We can go get cheap burgers if that’s what makes you happy.”

• And he’d genuinely mean it.

A/N: Annnnd we're off!! Welcome to the sequel to State of Grace, where Gracie Spaatz WILL in fact, make an appearance closer to the end. Welcome to a mostly happy post-wartime fic. To clear up any confusion, the ships are very confusing and all I'm gonna say is that if ever there was a codependent group of people it would be Evie, Paddy, and David—and then Evie and Benny added in. So NO, Evie is not in love with Paddy and vice-versa, but they're weird platonic soulmates. Please note that there will be flashback chapters every other chapter in this, getting into the SAS TV show and Evie's past. So please enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

A/N: So we have reached journey's end with Gracie Spaatz. I hope that this has been a fun ride for you all!! Please note that this is part 1 of a 2 part series, and book 2 should be coming out soon. The following story, Is It Over Now? is going to center around Gracie's pen-pal and longtime friend, Lady Evie Hughes. Evie is a member of the SAS—so this fic will cross over with SAS:Rogue Heroes. The fic is going to be entirely post-war, with flashback chapters to Evie's time in the war and her contributions. The love interest is none other than Benny DeMarco from Masters of the Air, and of course, Gracie will make a few appearances. Be on the lookout for that and please enjoy!