#master aqua

Felt like shit today so I doodled an Aqua

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For our Core Lies asks where we take characters and look into what their broken belief is.

Master Aqua (Kingdom Hearts)

Birth By Sleep is a narrative about 3 (allegorical) siblings who are raised in a closed off family under a strict and rigid belief structure, not allowed to interact with the outside world.

The game begins with the two nominal adults being tested to see if they can interact with the outside world without allowing impure thinking (darkness) into their hearts. Aqua is able to maintain her obedience and is granted the rank of Master. Terra questions his beliefs and is forbidden from leaving. Ventus is too young and must remain sheltered.

Then the game happens.

Aqua is (allegorically) the elder sister and feels weighed down by her responsibility to the other two, feeling that anything that happens to them is her responsibility. Throughout the narrative she is shown to shoulder the burdens of others while refusing help (fighting in the Colloseum and refusing Zack's aid) while trusting authority (helping to capture Stitch without question).

Where Ventus is driven by a curiosity, unburdened by the light/darkness dogma that Terra and Aqua are; Terra is mistrustful of light only thinking; Aqua attempts to be true to what she was raised to believe and is constantly tested by her experiences in the worlds, realizing that things are not black and white or dark/light.

Everything was so simple on the isolated island with her family. Now her siblings are growing apart from her and she can no longer trust them to follow The One True Path that she has spent her life dedicated to... and she is starting to doubt herself and that path, too.

It's a mirror to Sora, Kairi and Riku's own progression into adulthood. Every Kingdom Hearts game tends to have an element of what it means to leave childhood behind and to become an adult. In my opinion KH2 did it best.

The thing that defines Aqua during this time is her doubt. She begins the game completely driven by an unwavering conviction. Enough that it's her menu description.

But her narrative is driven by doubt being raised in her heart. She is no longer sure that the beliefs she hold can keep her loved ones safe. She believes in the people and if they are abandoning their conviction to light purity then is she wrong to follow Master Eraqus without question?

Then Terra kills Eraqus and she is forced to make a decision to believe in her family or her fallen master.

...and she fails to make a decision.

She truly cannot reconcile the conflicts that she is presented with because she has been raised to only have black and white thinking and to be guided by unwavering faith, not the ability to tell right from wrong herself. She learns critical thinking in real time during the events of Birth by Sleep and only gets to the point of being able to see outside of what she was taught to do at the very end where she is supposed to strike down the two people she loves the most to protect The Light.

And she cannot.

She needs to believe that there is a way to save Terra and Ventus. Even if she fails and Ventus is sealed in oblivion and Terra is possessed by Xehonort.

In trying and failing to rescue them both she is banished to the darkness for over a decade. Alone in darkness, hounded by monsters.

Yet even still. She managed to hold on to herself through her faith in her family. In hopes of saving them. She never ever gives up.

Ten years. Alone. Lost in the darkness. Silence surrounding. Once there was morning... now endless night.

We see that she is consumed by grief, regret, powerlessness. She has taken full responsibility for all that happened. All that could happen. Even after everything. Even after all that time alone, she believes that she is the one who has to do it all on her own.

It should be noted that the thing that gives her hope is hearing from Ansem that Sora is out there spreading light in the world and that somewhere out there someone is trying to save her.

When she is consumed by the darkness she confronts Mickey and (rightfully, in my opinion) accuses him of abandoning her. Mickey knew (as of KH1 at the latest) and still Aqua had to spend 10 years waiting. Because she is The Strong One. She has to hold up the world for others. Be obedient to her master. Stay true to the light. Protect Terra and Ventus. Be responsible. Protect.

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Aqua's lie is one counter to the entire Kingdom Hearts series.

She alone is responsible. She alone has to protect everyone.

Everyone must rely on her. She cannot rely on anyone else.

Aqua's core lie is that she must shoulder all burdens. Alone.

...and for someone imprisoned in shadow for a full decade. Is "My burden is mine alone. No one can or will help me. I have to be strong for everyone else." a truly outlandish thing to believe?

For other core lie asks: