#marvelfilms

Is Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer better, or worse than the first film? It doesn't matter. They're neither good nor truly awful, just in that sweet spot in the middle that makes them forgettable.

Set some time after the first film, Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) and Sue Storm/The Invisible Woman (still played by Jessica Alba, still too hot for the role) are getting ready to tie the knot. Their nuptials are put on hold when an alien called "The Silver Surfer" (voiced by Laurence Fishburne) appears on Earth and causes havoc. His appearance foreshadows the arrival of the planet devouring Galactus. Reed, Sue, Johnny (Chris Evans), and Ben (Michael Chiklis) are forced to team up with Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon) to save the world.

In some ways, this sequel is an improvement. It’s more serious and has fewer scenes that force Jessica Alba to take off her clothes (though there's still one). The threat the FF has to confront is more interesting, the plot better developed, and the character dynamics are meatier. The climax - where we get to see the special effects go into overdrive - is pretty cool. Laurence Fishburne is great as the voice of the Silver Surfer. The best part of that first movie was the duo of the Human Torch (Evans) and The Thing (Chiklis) ribbing on each other. Same thing here. They get more screen time than anyone else, proving director Tim Story and writers Don Payne and Mark Frost paid attention to what was firing on all cylinders.

When the story isn't concerned with the Silver Surfer, it suffers. A large chunk of the running time is dedicated to annoying inner team squabbles. So much, you hardly feel like they're a team or family at all. They don’t trust each other, they get hung up on petty subjects, and with the wedding of Reed and Sue (more boring than romantic, unfortunately) the movie's 92 minutes often feel like padding.

Then, there are the villains. The first is Andre Braugher as General Hager. He’s the stubbornest, worst judge of character I’ve ever seen. I get that times are tough and that Dr. Doom is willing to help save the planet, but we haven't forgotten all of his cold-blooded murders! The extent to which Hager disapproves of everything Reed Richards does, and how willing he is to give Doom slack, it’s almost as bad as letting Norman Osborn run S.H.I.E.L.D. Almost.

Next, we have Dr. Doom. Once again, he’s totally flat. Evil for the sake of being evil, and with judgment so poor he's constantly at risk of getting himself killed. Just what we want in an ultimate nemesis, right?

Finally, we have the duo of the Silver Surfer and Galactus. I don’t know whose idea it was to alter the characters from the source material so drastically but a carnivorous cloud is no substitute for a giant purple world-eating pimp. Without giving too much away, the way these two take part in the big conflict at the end is not only ridiculous, it makes no sense. The post-credit sequence doesn’t do it any favors either. It’s just flat-out bad.

Like several of the mid-2000’s superhero films, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer frequently skirts the line between mediocre and bad. It’s watchable, but nothing to write home about and unmemorable. I could smell trouble from the get-go when we see Mr. Fantastic busting out some dance moves as his clothes inexplicably stretch just as much as his limbs do. I gave it a chance. When my review inexplicably vanished, I watched the whole thing AGAIN. Now, I'm done with these movies, and thank goodness for that. (Full-screen version on DVD, August 24, 2015)